thesm1l3y
372965
14369
387
Edith told me to bring you one more choice, so here goes the NSFW-Bonus: http://imgur.com/xPzTMcO
Papagelos
I stopped reading after BLACK PILL SEE FUTURE... I could save millions of lives by evacuating people from disasters, stop all murders etc
razetherunner
i like the overly complicated descriptions for the Daredevil and Daredevil + Wolverine options
kristianlyng
Forget flight etc, is there a pill that'll let me clean up my apartment with a smile on a regular basis? And do my paperwork on time?
AgentDucky42
I can't decide. Better use the wisdom toilet.
LeSethX
Wisdom toilet will help you realize what the best choice would have been.
SgtEziosRequiem
"Hah, you chose incorrectly."
irespondwithsimpsonsquotes
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BMNG2h4CQAI2dtY.jpg
yuraf
TL;DR for ants.
BrandonianFlynnigan
Lots of them have zoom
yuraf
And it's still hard to read.
WatchhThis
LORD GABEN, EZ SKINS PLS
OtterOfDoom
If we choose the monocle from the first one, we could finally see OP's penis.
IKnowThisAnswer
Basically I learned that if I had the choice I would end up becoming a super villain.
ArdentSlacker
"Everybody wants to rule the world." Heck, I'd be "Evil Overlord" myself. And be hella progressive. ^_^
fenomas
There's a rather epic short story based on one of these: http://slatestarcodex.com/2015/06/02/and-i-show-you-how-deep-the-rabbit-hole-goes/
TheAnonBagpipe
Commenting for later
SpoonOfDoom
That was pretty fucking rad.
Dairyfiend
very very late reply. But if I picked the green pill I wouldn't turn into a lousy fish, I'd turn in to a Megalodon and explore the oceans..
ImNotVeryCreative
There are so many points i wish i could give you, just for introducing me to that story.
fenomas
Definitely some scattered gold on that site.. he has one with an interesting take on "SJW" stuff, and another about "moloch" I'd recommend!
joebwab
I choose TL;DR
ChaosLierLen637
Ahh yes, the power of the Teal Deer.
DrEntropy
id choose the ... I forgot what one but your mothers a whore
Thekingofbeans
You can sense things through air motion? You mean sound?
Brinxter
And there i'll be, sitting in my own customised Cauldron Born.
catsonmeth
1v1 me m8
Brinxter
Neg, you stravag!
ISarabi
Mech (Evangelion. Remember, they're made of human so they're edible). Copy-cat, if I get the memories; otherwise, time-stop. Pink pill. (1)
ISarabi
Addendum: If I can only choose one of ANY of these, I'd probably go with Blue Button+2,3,10.
modus0
Sadly, Evas aren't considered part of the Battletech/Mechwarrior setting, so you can't have one.
ISarabi
NOOOOOO! I forgot that stipulation T_T Not sure what, then. Maybe the monocle. Maybe the Iron Man suit, assuming it has autopilot AI.
Malkiot
I'd go with the keyboard if it wasn't just games but software in general. Otherwise eyes of the overlord. Get on TV once, 1/2
Malkiot
and then schedule daily broadcasts with the influenced forcing the uninfluenced to watch. 2/2
ISarabi
Maaaybe black pill. Actually, black pill. Pillow. Envy. Void, but Death and Nature are tempting (too much internet and sun sensitivity (2)
ISarabi
for Nature). Green potion. Ooh, difficult; Pathfinder would be most useful, though I would probably pick Machine. E (Green idol). (3)
ISarabi
Grey button (immortality/healing). Blue button (plus 3,7, 10). Necromancy (unless I already have the above buttons/potions/etc., (4)
ISarabi
in which case Hygromancy). Red elixir, and save the other two for associates (destroy if they are in threat of theft by an enemy). (5)
ISarabi
Hawk's feather. That was reqlly interesting! I hope other people go through and are interested in answering and discussing answers. (End)
ArdentSlacker
The ring one was weird. I kinda already have half the sloth effects... but given the choice, I'd kinda have to go envy too, because theft.
ISarabi
Ugh, same. A lot of those "powers" are things a lot of people already have. Charisma and depressed apathy means Sloth is just an Omniocular.
Khanecz
Stop reminding me i will never have powers of any kind
ChaosLierLen637
Not with that attitude you won't.
LevelSevenLaserLotus
I can read my own mind, time travel at 1 second per second into the future, walk through walls by using doors, and generate CO2.
AnAppallingActOfSloth
Username checks out.
kirokatashi
Well, you are a wizard.
RandomImgurian
You do realize that you can heal most damages to your body within a matter of months? And that compared to other animals you're super smart?
AwesomeName
A Smartphone gives you the power to: talk to anyone in the world, access all of the world's knowledge, enjoy any book/music/movie...
SpoonOfDoom
And look at pictures of cats from all over the world.
AnythingIsBraveIfYoureDildoEnough
Most of the auras and social skills in #5 can be developed/learned.
IndigoWendigo
Don't forget destroy any kind of food with your body, materialize fertilizer, and emit heat continuously.
ICannotStressThisEnoughBut
A lot of these are pretty rapey...
ChaosLierLen637
Too many.
BrandonianFlynnigan
The earlier ones are but it gets better later on
OSCgal
All the mind control ones make me uncomfortable. Physical rape is not far removed from mind rape.
DamianWinters
You don't have to use mind control to rape people....
OSCgal
I know you don't. I meant that they are similar concepts: seeking control over other people.
ifindyousuperinteresting
yeah, almost every one has roofiesque options. icky.
FNG20
yes
nexusdog
As wisdom toilet foretold it.
Scratchtherobotchicken
what's the point of the reincarnation pill? if you take it on the day you die? but you don't know that. you literally have to kill yourself.
Florxnog
Take the pill, crush a cyanide tablet, shoot yourself with a gun, or some other self-suicide and you get to start over, 2
Florxnog
There's some use to it. Think of it as a "Last Way Out" pill. You did something, screwed up bad, leaving you with a fate worse than death. 1
Scratchtherobotchicken
this seems to be the only useful thing.
Florxnog
Could also just be used as a "My life sucks I want a new one." Or you could give it to someone else who you think shouldn't die.
Scratchtherobotchicken
"let's you get high without weed" ... it's called every other drug
TheMrSpecialEd
Assuming these stack, you'd have to pick something that lets you see the future as well. Or, just pick immortality.
Florxnog
There's enough uses for it to be useful.
Florxnog
Though not in the same situation. Better than what was coming. Or if you a predictable incoming death, terminal cancer, ebola... 3
CantRap
1st is easy. Ironman suit or Mech. I can finally bring some violent vigilante justice anywhere in the world.
grru
ironman suit>mech though
ShutYourFuckingFACEUncleFucker
What! Your loss ill just be immortal and selectively invisible. Have fun fun in your mech suits till i walk over give you a wet willy
Pokemonique
But amazing videogames!
4Outof5DentistsRecommend
How do you not choose the one ring? Effective immortality and limitless power... I would totally build a tower and conquer the realms of men
TheMagicalUpvoteFearie
I'd take the reincarnation pill on that one, I can choos to reincarnate as the wearer of all the other choises as that one.
SalsaOreos
Kinda useless if the other rings don't exist....
Thekingofbeans
The wisdom toilet said not to.
4Outof5DentistsRecommend
Wisdom Toilet...That's one of those Japanese toilets that has a seat warmer, talks to you, and washes and perfumes your bottom right?
DavosSeaworthTheOnionKnight
I would pick the Reincarnation pill...second chance on life, AND your remember everything so you wont make the same mistakes.
ImmaStealYoReactionPics
CPG Grey said that with enough willpower, a human could rule the world because it turns them into the ultimate leader, or something.
DarthFutuza
If it doesn't corrupt you, does that make you Tom Bombadil?
Chouie
"It won't corrupt you".. nice try, not falling for that again.
Janlando
Hahahahahah
InfinitusEquitas
It doesn't have to corrupt me... I'm there already, just not into the whole cruelty & murder thing.
Janlando
Exactly what I thought. UPDOOT
Mypetdalek
Exactly. It's the ring of power and power corrupts.
SgtEziosRequiem
Some would say that this is a ring of absolute power. And absolute power, corrupts… absolutely.
TheLordLucifersBannedAccount02
Maybe it would corrupt you, but not me.
Besty007
You're no more man than anyo- *reads username*... nevermind.
TheLordLucifersBannedAccount02
=D
ChaosLierLen637
I have too many good game ideas.
MagentaHawk
Did you not read the keyboard one that makes whatever game I want?
DarthFutuza
I'm not so sure it's everything you want, just because you have an idea doesn't mean you've fleshed it out or that it's a good one.
DarthFutuza
Art and code might be great, but if you haven't meticulously thought out everything then you're going to run into limitations and it'll suck
Braethias
"half life 3"
GaryFreakinOak
... Exactly what sort of power does the One Ring grant to its true master? I know it gives invisibility to temporary holders, but...
DamianWinters
You get control over lesser minds, that's all. It's really not as powerful as people think
DamianWinters
Oh and you stop you and things around you from ageing
ShamnusMcfee
Its primary power is to control all of the other rings. Since those rings dont exist in this world, you just get pseudoimmortality and invis
Erelde
In effect it allows you to use many of these other choices better/more effectively.
CamelSpotter
It's quite easy when you have a Madcat mech.
RockwellMM
I would get a puma or a stillieto mech. Speed + fire power.
DamianWinters
Why would you take a mech instead of the Ironman suit?
RockwellMM
I too choose a mech but I chose the puma. Fast and you still have some kind of fire power. (PPC)
RockwellMM
If not that then the badassery of the stillieto(variant of the rapter from mech assault 2). They where only in that game I think though.
[deleted]
[deleted]
Jagadid
I'll provide an actually useful comment and say that it enhances any being's natural affinities. Hobbits are good at moving unseen.
4Outof5DentistsRecommend
That is true, but the ring does grant invisibility (can still be seen as a shadow in bright sunlight) to all wearers...except Tom Bombadil
Mypetdalek
I don't know, this seems plausible. Invisibility leads to greater power as you can assassinate pretty much anyone. It also (1/2)
Mypetdalek
leads to longer life though, which is another effect.
SaintMaceToTheFace
Oh no. It is far more powerful. Literally the most powerful thing on this list
DamianWinters
No way in hell is it the most powerful, you get limited mind control abilitys and stop you and things around you from aging.
SaintMaceToTheFace
The one ring is far more than that
DamianWinters
That is all it would do for you, you aren't Sauron. Even Sauron isn't very powerful with the ring on he got defeated multiple times
4Outof5DentistsRecommend
Can't tell if this is a joke or not...I don't think Sauron would have wanted the ring so badly if it just turned you invisible
JudgeJudyandExecutioner
"gonna look at so many elf titties without them knowing hue hue" Sauron, probably
4Outof5DentistsRecommend
Lol the Dark Lord's true plan to conquer Middle Earth...by being a perv
EtTuDude
Shit, we're just stealing 4chan's content now?
kenpokid4
imgur.com/r/4chan
SadPaisley
I'm upset. I've been planing to do a CYOA dump.
punner
Too be fair thats how reddit got started
EtTuDude
I'm all for it but damn, that's a big post.
punner
True, is likely he just went to a pick one thread and saved all images
xiphiasgladius
Why do half of these contain the power to get ripped shit on drugs?
ChaosLierLen637
Because 4chan.
xxreapr
The rainbow tiki made me laugh for a good 5 mins
Thekingofbeans
Because 12 year olds made them
BrandonianFlynnigan
I didn't do fucking drugs at 12
Thekingofbeans
Neither did the people who made these. 12 year olds think drugs are super cool because they haven't done them.
DatiDizuDanDatoChipu
Is it just me, or were the one of the eyes things from Naruto?
bauel
all of them are from Naruto. sharingan, naruto using ninetails chakra, sanbi, rinnegan, mangekyou sharingan, Naruto using senjutsu 1/2
bauel
the next one is a spoiler I guess: 2/3
bauel
Naruto using senjutsu combined with ninetails chakra, and byakugan 3/3
bauel
not Sanbi, but Ichibi ... sorry
grru
that creature has a name! it's shukaku
bauel
I would have used that but I could hardly think of Ichibi :/
RedXdeR
All of them are naruto eyes.
over9000poops
All the eyes are Naruto eyes with the names changed.. lmao
BriefEdition
First thing I noticed. Clearly the sharingan
YoureALizardHarry96
But what's the last one?
bauel
that's a Byakugan
YoureALizardHarry96
Oh ok, yeah that makes sense, thanks
RearAdmiralObvious
Lol I didn't notice till sage mode
Lionskull
What is the third set? I recognise all the rest except for the third set.
bauel
those are Shukaku's eyes (Ichibi)
TKAC
I think the third set is the eyes of Shukaku (one-tails) and the last one is a set of used up sharingan (when using Izanagi)
AllHailTheDramaLlama
I think the last one is Byakugan
pancakeisi
My thoughts exactly
SimpleObservations
Ha, I missed the second sharingan.
SgtEziosRequiem
I noticed at the grey, ringed one. Forgot how to spell it.
redCAMBO
Rinnegan. It's purple in the series though.
shamecracker
stopped reading Naruto when that guy died
SgtEziosRequiem
Yeah, I recognized it by the pattern.
Spedytor
BATTLEMECH BATTLEMECH BATTLEMECH I DIDN'T EVEN READ MORE THAN THAT BATTLEMECH PLEASE GOD BATTLEMECH
revspag
Literally my same response
ACatnippedKitty
InnerSphere or Clan? Pre or post Tukayyid? PPC OR GAUSS RIFLE, OH DON'T MAKE ME CHOOSE
Spedytor
Pfff, if you are picking a ride for yourself no reason not to go Clan and munchkin your heart out. This is fake real life here.
LeafiaBarrett
I dunno, weren't Clan mechs notorious for running hot?
Spedytor
Depends on the mech. Clan tech is OP in every way, including how good their heat sinks were.
revspag
Literally my same response
DamianWinters
Ironman suit literally better in everyway
ryo0hki
I had the exact same response -.-
sildraug
The first problem that came to mind with that was while I'd know how to repair it, I probably couldn't afford to, even with scavenged parts.
DarthT15
It'd probably stack well with the Eye of Machine in #8
DarthFutuza
Especially in this age when FTL has yet to be invented. Still if you knew how to repair it, you could invent functional fusion reactors.
Spedytor
And make it a Warhammer just because fuck you Harmony Gold.
DarthFutuza
Ohhh IIC Mauraders!
Spedytor
Oh who am I kidding, Storm Crow Prime is where it's at.
zealouspilgrim
First time in the wisdom toilet: "This was obviously the third best choice. How warm would you like the seat?"
Millillion
MRW:
KillingTlme
This is my reaction everytime I see a new story about the 49ers upcoming season.
EDWARDMACARONlFORK
Give me the rifle... I like to go nigger hunting .
IndigoWendigo
The thinking cap of Gyro Gearloose would be better, IMHO.
IGotBannedForTheGIF
It would be my first choice.
dskilz
Easiest to conceal from authorities that would take it away. Most useful for current living situation. Best option in my opinion as well!
buttinvader
use wisdom toliet to learn how to build mech, use mech to pick to up chicks. bam.
astillac
I looked carefully and considered. Wisdom toilet definitely first choice for me. (Writer person)
IGotBannedForTheGIF
(likewise)
FabricatedVermin
Seriously, who chooses a toilet over GabeN?
ArdentSlacker
Where will YOU be when diarrhea strikes?
AuBoss
Who chooses Gaben over Iron Man?
kcgingerbeard
yeah, I'm going with Iron Man.
IronMannequinMrkXXI
Perhaps it would grant me useful insight on how to gather the other choices into my possession?
LouisianaBob
It directs you towards inner peace over things you cannot control
IronMannequinMrkXXI
Things I can't control? Like my stools? Makes sense since it's a toilet.
CrispyWorm
No, you cannot wish for more genies
IronMannequinMrkXXI
I'm not asking for genies. I'm asking for toilet knowledge, and that's something I never thought I would say.
IndigoWendigo
And what do you do with knowing more about toilets..? I don't get you, man.
IronMannequinMrkXXI
I will be the TOILET MOGUL! No one will stop the manly Mannequin of Iron in his schemes to sell the best toilets known to man!
Lethalbleedings
The time limits on the coloured pill ones are really annoying
parksAndRings
The orange pill is basically just a thc capsule
WaterblightGanon
blue pill, be good at sports AND THEN DIE AT THE END OF THE DECADE.
MybolognahasafirstnameitsBAMBI
Black pill. All the betting.
AceOfShovels
The orange pill is cocaine.
IFuckingLoveGoldenRetrievers
The best part of playing the super power game is there has to be a limitation
AnEightStoryTallCrustaceanFromTheProtozoicEra
Right! I would love to be Katy Perry's bra for 2 hours! But I don't think she wears bras for just 2 hours.
Nadodan
Obviously black pill is the best choice, you can use your power anytime you like and just have to make sure it's done in private
EchoOfSnac
#3
dokidokes
The green pill is just a really great way to lose track of time and die.
thatclimbingguy
Red pill. Totally red pill. I'd be on porn sites ALL DAY.
BlueRacoon
dude green pill like so green pill
AwesomeName
Too bad it's limited to one hour. And we all know you already spend more time than that on porn sites without any pill.
thatclimbingguy
FUCK YOU YOU DON'T KNOW MY LIFE. You're right.
AwesomeName
Red pill shows that this chart is kind of outdated. Everybody with a smartphone kind of already has this power. No pill needed.
Sapler
I remember seeing that chart about 4~5 years ago.
toospoon
And that's why you need to be careful which one you pick because it could be available to everyone in a few years
thatclimbingguy
True.
IndigoWendigo
The blue pill exists already, it's called steroids.
ReptilianOverlord
Take the red pill and become a fedora-wearing cunt who bitches on reddit all day about being oppressed by feminists because he's friendzoned
NeaterSpree
Amazing story based on that one: http://slatestarcodex.com/2015/06/02/and-i-show-you-how-deep-the-rabbit-hole-goes/
MorbidityMilkshakes
Really long but worth the read
EchoOfSnac
q00u
Good story (except shroud nonsense, but great conclusion), but those are different pill descriptions.
FighterFei
The Yellow Pill, used correctly, is extremely potent.
HiThereImF
So is the black one.
AwesomeName
Just don't use it next to someone taking the red pill. Eew!
FighterFei
Well it says it gives you the ability to read anybody's thoughts. It's a safe assumption that you can "target" people with it.
DavosSeaworthTheOnionKnight
No kidding, you would always know if people were lying to you. Would be super useful.
AwesomeName
Depends. For instance, you can get around the limitations of the grey pill by clever use of the yellow pill instead.
INameMyPetsAfterRedvsBlueCharacters
You make a good point, but grey pill = someone loving the REAL you, not who you pretend to be to match what you find in their thoughts.
AwesomeName
I disagree. They only love me due to the grey pill, not for what I am. Yellow, they do it out of their free will.
toastyy1990
Depends how you look at it. They are led to love what you are. Because of the pill, yes, but they love you as a person. How I saw it, anyway
INameMyPetsAfterRedvsBlueCharacters
Same here!
AwesomeName
Whether you use yellow to create a facade or to ensure the person is happy is a matter of character.
INameMyPetsAfterRedvsBlueCharacters
Some people just don't mesh romantically, so if you try to force it with someone you will have to act like someone you're not.
UDBV
Some of these are TL;DR
Denvercoder09
Tl;Dr Danny Phantom Powers
jazzhead
TL;DR TS;DR
OpOnion
* alot of these are TL;DR
ReptilianOverlord
ISarabi
The frustrating part for me wasn't the TL;DR, but the compressed-size font. That first press-a-button was just cruel.
xRoyalWolfx
TS;CR --Too small, can't read.
mantha0n3
I got half way through to see the top comment.... This.
tenebrouslyx
I skipped all the limitations. Whether I can fly once a week or twice a day isn't really a deal breaker.
Angelist
I still find myself favouriting it for some reason.
WallCrawlerArt
Yet I still want all of them.
plainandsimpleGarak
Tldr ? Too long to read? Just wondering
UDBV
It stands for Too Long; Didn't Read.
SlightlyNormal
I am somewhat curious how you managed to get the "dr" into "to read".
plainandsimpleGarak
Hahaha i don't know how either... I think I was sleepy... But got the gist of it I think :) thanks for the answer!! :)
Nize426
...all of these are tl;dr
justanotherhooligan
This whole post is tl;dr
Denvercoder09
Tl;Dr Danny Phantom Powers
TheHudsonHawk
I choose the pill that allows me to regain the time lost reading this post. The TL;DR suppository if necessary.
SalsaOreos
Most of them
CRUSTYSMEGMA
That's because they're meant to be posted to 4chan, to see what people would choose. I've seen these types of threads before.
yuraf
TL;DR for ants, too.
darxide
They have zoon.
krauraurgg
Zoom doesn't fix poor font choices.
KABARU
Zoon ain't worth it on my phone.
yuraf
Even with zoom, the bottom ones are hard to read.
wetred
Am I the only person that doesn't want to live forever?
theirownreward
No, that sounds terrible.
boshbishbash
Immortality I wouldn't mind. Immortality and invulnerability together however, that's gonna be a lot of floating around.
wetred
That's true.. but then if you're immortal.. the choice of when to go would become overwhelming.
boshbishbash
Nah, it's likely you'd last until the next big war at the latest. If disease or buses didn't get you first
vorduul
http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/174656 Put me in mind of this.
wetred
That was lovely. Thank you.
InameAsOne
Immortality's a shit power, because eventually, you'll be drifting through space after the sun explodes. Forever. And alone.
Clitastrophe
Uuuuntil you wash up on the next civilization's doorstep. Just hibernate in the downtimes and go with the flow. Invest in preventives.
faulerwulf
I'm sure by then they'd have space travel of some kind, Js. If not just go to a new planet and make shit idk
InameAsOne
True. But what about when humanity Ascends, or the heat death of the universe? You'd still be alone, in a void or otherwise, forever.
Clitastrophe
Always other fish in the sea.Or MAKE your own civilization, youve got the time. Jiz on a planet and hibernate a few million years, who knows
InameAsOne
I like the cut of your jib. Quite optimistic.
wetred
It's definitely not the one for me.
Mypetdalek
Ironic that people like the idea of heaven but hate the idea of living forever.
wetred
start forgetting I mean if were talking just immortality your brain isnt wired for it you'd forget things, people you loved, discoveries 2/2
wetred
I don't know my opinion on heaven but it's almost like I feel death is a 'right'. Also i wouldn't want to live long enough to 1/2
UptownFunkgotmeLockedOutOfHeavenwitha24kMagicGrenade
How is that ironic? If you want to go to to Heaven you have to die. It's kinda mandatory.
wetred
I think @mypetdalek means that in heaven you "live forever". So people don't want to live forever here but theyll happily go somewhere else
WumboPower
Heaven is forever in awesomeness. Immortality is forever in meh
OSCgal
Exactly! This existence is full of suffering, physical & mental. Heaven is pure joy & perfect relationship. "To die is gain."
Mypetdalek
Then all you have to do is be awesome.
DarthFutuza
And there's also hell, immorality forever in suck.
InfinitusEquitas
I would time hop... just pop out for a while every century or so.
wetred
"brb, done with this era"
InfinitusEquitas
Basically yes. I thought about this quite a bit. I'd probably want to pop out once every 50 years to be able to catch up on technology,
InfinitusEquitas
culture, and language. For example I don't think someone from say 1920 would have too much trouble adapting the current era, but it would be
InfinitusEquitas
far more shocking from someone from 1820
wetred
I think it's quite scary how quickly the world is developing at the moment.
InfinitusEquitas
I do too, but I think development will either expand at an even higher rate with the discovery of new means for energy production or travel
InfinitusEquitas
I also think it is extremely likely that we will end up being supplanted by AI.
InfinitusEquitas
or more likely we are headed toward some form of an apocalypse which will slow progress significantly a bit further down the line.
ISarabi
I want immortality with an "out". Like "say a certain instruction, with confirmation notice" or (as applicable here) "throw brain into sun".
wetred
"you can never die... you'll grow from largest brain segment.. as long as there's a cell". It sounds so trapped.
OSCgal
Paging Captain Jack Harkness...
AllIHaveHadTodayIsLikeSixGummyBearsAndSomeScotch
It's not so hard to destroy your entire brain. Hold your head into a jet engine or a bucket of molten steel or just jump in a fire.
wetred
Of course, but the suggestion was you couldnt perish. That specific one said any small amount left of you. Others just said you couldnt go
AllIHaveHadTodayIsLikeSixGummyBearsAndSomeScotch
I thought you needed at least a bit of brain intact.
ISarabi
With the blue pill (blue button? I forgot), you would at least remain comatose until the sun died and you healed. Though... I wonder (1/2)
ISarabi
how small an injury would have to be BEFORE it didn't put you into a coma. Whole limb? Papercut? Muscle fibers being exercised?
OctoPlusNone
"You gain total invisibility, but you cannot interact with any object or person." You remain motionless in space. The Earth flies away from
ryo0hki
You can turn invisible, but only when Noone is looking... "you can just feel it"
OctoPlusNone
you, and several minutes later your agonizing death is complete. No one can ever find your body.
ifPokemonWereReal
Unless your momentum sends you flying out of the earth's revolution, tangent to the point where you used your power lol
IndigoWendigo
..until one year later your frozen corpse reenters atmosphere. (not to mention BREATHING is interacting with air. This is kinda genie-esque)