If you read nothing else, please read the last paragraph...

Our 9 year old has always been very socially awkward, and really more than just that. Last spring he was diagnosed with Asperger's. It has been hard knowing our baby will always struggle, but it's been great getting him the services he needs both in and out of school to succeed. Yesterday I got an email from his teacher that he had been sucking ink out of markers at school. He told his teacher he wanted to be sick the next day.

Immediately I wanted to assess his physical health. Was it Crayola or Sharpie? They were the kid safe crayola markers. At most he'd have the stomach ache he was hoping for.

Unfortunately a high percentage of aspies struggle with depression. Though they don't express emotions in a way that society says is normal, they do experience emotions deeply. They are very intelligent (often extremely gifted in one or more subjects), and the fact that they don't fit in and may never feel connected or loved or worthwhile isn't lost on them. While his teacher, who has been great, was mostly concerned with the need for social coaching and why did he want to miss school, I knew there was a much bigger discussion that needed to happen.

When he got home, we went to a private space and began our talk. He didn't want to hurt himself other than to avoid school, but he did tell me he wants to be dead. After talking a bit more, he told me he thinks about it "all the time," but doesn't have a plan on doing it. We are fortunate to have a relationship with a counselor who met with him that afternoon. He told her the same things. He said he liked talking to her, and we set up an appointment to see her again tomorrow. In the meantime, he made a safety plan to get through the next two days.

I can't stress enough that those in your life with Asperger's, regardless of age, more likely than not struggle with depression. Many times their depression is masked, even to them, because the traits of Asperger's and the symptoms of depression overlap quite a bit. If you have concerns, for yourself or for someone you know, please reach out.