First post and really needed to get this off my chest

Jun 27, 2017 4:31 PM

EzekielsRage

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94083

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1684

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94

Brian if you're reading this I'm glad you thought that I was that thoughtful but I died a bit when you woke up from your nap and thought it was for you.

Rookie mistake for sure. First step is to live alone. That way all the food is all the time. There is no second step. Live alone.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

lets just say there is a reason why i put "dark reddish brown sauce that burns both ways" on my food when my cousin visits

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Certainly your name is not Joey

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Brian's more than a tad presumptuous.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

OP's reaction -

9 years ago | Likes 96 Dislikes 1

Is that the original? In the German version he wants a Fischbrötchen.

9 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Yeah that's what he wanted

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

Yeah, in spanish he say "dónde esta mi hamburguesa!?"

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Aww you were so sweet, but don't lie I bet you give each other your "burrito" every night unless one has a headache.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

We're men we don't let little thing like headaches or permission to enter or lack of lube stop us

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Happened with me but with Dr. Pepper

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Best burrito I've ever had : Alberto's in Escondido

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Dude that's where I was living when this happened and likely where I bought them!

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Right on! I miss living down there so much :(

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

He did you a favor. Don't get fat.

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 2

You are a nice person. That's what matters the most.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Gamble next time. Get four & see how it goes.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

@OP I get a BOGO coupon for Qdoba every year on my Birthday. I go alone and just eat two helpings of nachos.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Plot Twist: Brian's an imaginary 7ft bunny

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I feel for you, man.. Glad I have no friends to share food with.... :(

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

I share every scrap of food I buy for I know too well what it's like to be hungry

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Habanero paste, works great to deter food thieves. Now in new 'Reaper' flavor!...

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

My face when they ask, "is one of those for me?"

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I knew there was the perfect gif out there and you found it

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

But you shared. I am proud of you. +1

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Your such a great friend.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Jesus the one I get from my local Santana's is like two meals. How small were those or are you just a monster? :p

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 2

I eat because I'm sad, I'm sad because I eat

9 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

I know how that goes. I'm a fat ass but I just can't imagine two of the ones I get. Pretty sure it would kill me but I would die happy. :p

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

You can always change if you want to. Love you stranger I know that place all too well

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Brian, you better bring some dessert, stat!

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Hero. By any other name

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

'Gave?'...

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That's on you, you chose to share.

9 years ago | Likes 35 Dislikes 1

You try saying no to Brian after you've seen the look in his eyes from a surprise burrito.

9 years ago | Likes 59 Dislikes 1

Never look directly at the Brian when you're hoarding burritos.

9 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 0

I will carry this saying the rest of my life

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Yeah, but imagine the hurt you'd have seen as he watched you eat the 2nd burrito! Brian can go buy his own 2 burritos

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

You didn't need two anyway

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My little 7 year old guy, his name is Brian. The kid never meets a stranger, and I hope he has this level friend one day <3

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You sound like a cute couple.

9 years ago | Likes 44 Dislikes 0

We were until he moved away and got married (to a woman of all people) and then had to rub it in with a kid. Now I just feel used.

9 years ago | Likes 59 Dislikes 1

That sucks. Better off not to become dependent on someone and also not expecting others to be dependent on you. Happier way to live.

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 11

Did you hear that? Sounds like it just went over your head.

9 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 2

This is gay

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

You can buy another burro but you can't buy another friend. Whatever that means

9 years ago | Likes 137 Dislikes 1

This is beautiful.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I mean... Maybe the donkey you buy is also your friend. It worked out well for Shrek.

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Beat me to it

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

I'll show YOU!

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

You can eat a burrito, but you can't eat your friend (legally anyway)

9 years ago | Likes 55 Dislikes 0

Friends sure are tasty, though. I really need to expand my social circle. It's been narrowing of late.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Maybe. Maybe you should befriend a cow.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Mmm delicious daisy.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

*starts chanting, Eat Brian*

9 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

I heard that you can only legally eat somebody (like actual food) if the person being eaten agrees to being eaten.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 2

Nah, that's what Armin Meiwes went to prison for

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Imma eat that body just like groceries doesn't have as much of a ring to it

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Nope, at least in Canada you can't.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Ok. I wasn't sure about it.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Meanwhile Brian is posting a confession bear: "Ate my buddy's burrito. I knew it was for him, but he had two of them, so ...."

9 years ago | Likes 525 Dislikes 1

Meanwhile in the Legion of Doom ...

9 years ago | Likes 28 Dislikes 0

Don't worry, the Legends will make it right.

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Heroes get remembered, but legends never die!

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

@OP must be new to so cal, they're just called burritos. and by the way, bringing them home ruins them, eat them on the spot or not at all

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 10

Wow that's probably one of the most retarded rules about anything Ive ever read. Do you also get pissy when someone has a pizza delivered?

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 3

There is a huge difference between so cal burritos and burritos in other states, thank you for clarifying!

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 3

keep downvoting me you fat idiot. and move back to the midwest

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 10

Back to the trash can with you

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Burrito fandom heating up in here.

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

no dipshit, because a pizza doesn't lose it's integrity when you get it delivered, and you can heat it in the oven. a burrito degrades

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 9

over time and the quality rapidly deteriorates. not that it's not still good, but it's nowhere near as good as eating it in the place

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 9

Also when you're done, you can ruin someone else's toilet & go home!

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

OP heading home with two burritos

9 years ago | Likes 31 Dislikes 1

He's cultivating mass!

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

Try and move me bro!

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

You are *BECOMING* A CHIMICHANGA!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0