formerlyinpointeshoes
137903
2150
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I went right into college after high school, then we got married the week after I graduated. We were married for 20 years and he decided sleeping with the neighbour was a good idea. So tonight, I am in my first place. I ordered pizza and am watching YouTube.
Canadianbeaver
Being alone is actually much better. Get a dog and be happy and free
Raeke
Schitt’s Creek and Psych are two of my feel-good shows, recommend for binging
tinydog
Been divorced 4 years, after 19 married. The freedom is liberating. The loneliness is a struggle.
MrStealYourGiF
Get a cat you can blame the weird noises on.
DarthWaiterSE
Cats keep the nasties away at night, they get up to all kinds of nocturnal activity to tell the nasties to fuck off. My cat in high school..
DarthWaiterSE
straight up murdered snakes and other critters, displayed them proudly like a trophy hunter. Never saw any ectoplasm, guess he ate it all.
ItWasMeIWasTheTurkeyAllAlong
Yes OP….totally alone. Unrelatedly don’t worry about sounds coming out of the crawl space. Also you are out of peanut butter.
formerlyinpointeshoes
Shoot I knew I forgot something at the store.
bolinotoyou
The 20-year itch, strikes again
PatSajaksHairLine
Sounds like you're on the right path!
FloridaLawyer
Call a lawyer and get that shit done, sister.
v
ForTheDumps
I'm excited for you! It may feel weird, but you'll do great. Enjoy the time with yourself.
formerlyinpointeshoes
Thanks so much. I’m worried I’ll get too lonely and give him another chance
ForTheDumps
Remember why you're on your own, that you deserve to be treated with love and respect. For sure talk to someone, get support. We got this!!
oneduringwanderer
Make this new chapter about you, not him. Spend time with friends, pick up a new hobby, adopt a cuddly pet. You got this!!
CriminallyMysophobic
i did this shit with my ex. twice. third time i just buried myself in a life long dream of game dev
ILoveSpicyPeople
You were strong enough to leave the first time you FOUND OUT. It could have been more than you know. You’re strong enough to stay away.
welcometothedystopia
I hope this doesn't sound rude, talk to a lawyer and a therapist first and explain those feelings to them please.
olivertheoctopus
The first few weeks are rough learning to sleep alone, but it gets easier. I love it now. You can do whatever the fuck you want and it rocks
KainWhisper
Honestly, @OP. Just make some friends. Watch some Netflix party. Hang out. Just do you. Sorry your soon-ex-hub sucks goat balls.
formerlyinpointeshoes
I’m still at “bitter and angry” so I hope she gave him an STD
HsuDoNihm
Aw sweetie... here, go lookup "panic powder" on Amazon and have yourself some delightful fantasies about him being miserable thereby. Cheers
welcometothedystopia
DenseBot
I'm feeling this (same age, similar start to our marriage), SO is just away tho, but Im enjoying the solitude...have been drifting for awhil
DenseBot
I don't know if it's a early 40s thing or what, but seems a # of others having similar issues. Hope you land on your feet
formerlyinpointeshoes
You too dear. You deserve to be happy
Bystandr
So, you're single?
Imjustheretodrinkandcomment
The first night after my wife became my ex wife was rough, despite issues. It gets better. Here if you need to talk!
patkat1
Nice., You offered to talk. I notice that people keep a distance if you're divorced or your spouse passed away. Sad
Imjustheretodrinkandcomment
Yep. Even my best friends were skittish around me for awhile. I was physically and emotionally abused for years, but it was my fault somehow
CorneliusTunt
What kind of pizza?
formerlyinpointeshoes
Veggie lovers. I always got a combo because he likes meat
Zucheto
Is your neighbor a man?
CriminallyMysophobic
It's not so bad once you name the dust bunnies
formerlyinpointeshoes
I call them Sootsprites. I hope they are nice
CriminallyMysophobic
HappinessIsNotaFish
Married a green card scammer 1 yr ago today whose been banging the whole city apparently. First day not wearing my ring. Don't even know....
HappinessIsNotaFish
the first thing about divorce. After 9 years of horrible cheating men really thought I found a good person. Gotta start all over again now..
HappinessIsNotaFish
Anyhow, just wanted to stop and share and let you know that I will be sending you all my positive energy everyday as we trek onward!!
whatpassesforclever
Did...did you marry a fish?
HappinessIsNotaFish
I don't like eating seafood at all. It's also the name of an Our Lady Peace album. Maybe a fish would have made a better husband though. ?
CraftyGiant
Oof. Report them for the greencard thing.
HappinessIsNotaFish
He wont be getting it now. Too bad he married a smart woman with a BS in computer science that caught every horrid thing he's done n said...
HappinessIsNotaFish
before the 2 year marriage mark when they'd give him the 10 year card. Now his visa will expire soon and he will be deported. No time...
HappinessIsNotaFish
Left for him to even scam another. Wouldn't get the paperwork done in time with UCIS.
yoursoulreaper
So you are saying you are single?
whitecheddarismyrappername
Allthegoodnamesweretakenbeckygod
TELunus
Yup, this is the comment I came looking for
joshcrimson
You never know what kind of ghosts are around in the dark @OP, so you might not be as alone as you thinK!
zortroz
It’s nice tho, isn’t it? I was married 18-1/2 yrs. We grew apart and amicably divorced. I’ve gotten used to sleeping alone.
formerlyinpointeshoes
I changed my number but the few friends that are mine have it.
zortroz
Yeah, I lost a lot of mutual friends due to my divorce, but my ex-wife is still my friend. She's an awesome human being though.
GuardianANGEL426
Been with my guy for 12 yrs.God I love sleeping alone. In fact, we're currently travelling 1000 miles to our new home, and I booked 2 queens
PenchBoy
Honestly think having 2 rooms with my partner would be great. But 2 rooms = $$$$$
GuardianANGEL426
We have a king for our 1 room but we do have a 2nd room...thats our office since we work from home, though we often split up and move around
rebelhead
Maintain a punk rock attitude. Dance when it's inappropriate
Autittuderp
Congratulations on your freedom to be whoever you choose! Its a new book, write with joy.
formerlyinpointeshoes
Thanks!!! Actually I bought a journal and pens this evening.
Autittuderp
Brilliant. You can do this...you have got through the shitty parts. You deserve happiness.
ShupDewd
Welcome. To. Zombo.com!
extraordinaryagility
You can do anything at Zombocom! Anything at all! Anything you can imagine! The only limit is yourself. The infinite is possible at Zombocom
sketch242
Welcome.
cringeypingey
So are u single?
formerlyinpointeshoes
Username checks out
Zero3Quarter
Formerly a dancer?
formerlyinpointeshoes
Yep. Until I was 20
Zero3Quarter
Dancers are the best. Hehe
redsmerf
You know what? SPRAWL on that bed tonight. Sleep on the whole thing.
Twrecks123
You get the whole bed to yourself. You can leave music on or eat in bed. Whatever makes you happy.
DontNeedAWeatherManToKnowWhichWayTheWindBlows
Been where you are. You’ll have good days and bad days, but gradually, the good days will out number the bad. Hang in there!
Luvlyquants
Check "Black Books" on Youtube. It is hilarious. Have fun! :)
youreathing
FETCH MY LOLLY
VileEverett
I can’t agree hard enough. Great show!
Doismellbacon
Also, if you have Hulu, The Bear is really good!! Greats on your new life, @OP!!
formerlyinpointeshoes
Thanks I’ll check them out.
wardenda
I also recommend TaskMaster. Very light-hearted comedy gameshow. Also Dimension 20, specifically "Fantasy High" if you like D&D.
blurgal
Yes!! Black books is brilliant! Anyone who has ever worked retail should watch it too
ItsAnonymoose
DemonFluffer1000
Look, Bernard. Bernard, look. Look, Bernard. Bernard, look. Bernard..... Bernard....Bernard.... Look, Bernard.
DemonFluffer1000
You can't taste because you've smoked like a bejillion cigarettes. What are you eating? It's some sort of delicious biscuit. It's a coaster.
EddyWantok
Lonely soldier!
brknsoul
yoink!
Luvlyquants
:)
v
AllAnusMorissette
CarpoolTunnelSyndrome
And then check out black boobs on Redtube.
BeerCir
pm1001
Til black books is on yt
CanadaEhBuddy
CybrMeow
Nice, no more porn with headphones
AllTheGoodOnesWereGone
Please think of your neighbors though. But not like that.
FishieStardust
Aaronb1138
Umm, from OP's description that is literally how this situation started....
welcometothedystopia
You can hear the um "details" better with headphones?
SoftKleenex
Squelch squelch
SlightlyDankMemes
The macaroni noise?
YouAreTheInsultMaster
farts
welcometothedystopia
Whatever noises ya got
YouEatYellowSnow
It gets easier. Have a great night!
jamadrien
He never said it was hard, just odd i suppose
llatre
Like your neighbor ?
Sageypie
Yeah. Had a similar experience. From home to college, then straight into marriage. Felt weird at first finally living alone, but man, that-
Sageypie
-overwhelming rush of freedom after you get past the first night worries. Place is all yours to do whatever you want in it. Decorate what-
Sageypie
-you want. Make whatever you want for dinner without having to deal with somebody else's picky bs. Watch what you want, when you want. Just-
Sageypie
-give it a little time for the realization to kick in. And them you'll be overwhelmed with the possibilities. Honestly, my only regret on-
Sageypie
-meeting my current partner and us having kids. Just...yeah, I can't just lay about in the buff anymore and eat cheez wiz on cheddar cubes
RossMo7
Had something similar. You’re better off.
VeldWolf
Occasionally I (living alone for around 7 years now) still have some attacks like „holy fucking shit I’m all alone here fuck me“, but
VeldWolf
that only really happens when I’m not in a good headspace otherwise either.
railgrinder
Yes, after the first couple of times you'll get the hang of ordering pizza.
fthelions
And use their website/app if available, then you don't need to speak to anyone
Spikelf
It does get easier. May take a while but , hang in there. A lot of us have been there please talk to someone, and don’t be self destructive.
Bokkanb
It doesn't get easier, but you go longer and longer between times it hits you.
CraftyGiant
Yep https://themighty.com/2018/12/ball-box-analogy-grief/
Bokkanb
Ya. Love the down votes of people who've never introspected at the difference lol. It doesn't get easier, not ever, it gets less frequent.
formerlyinpointeshoes
Thank you
skullAvatar
If necessary seek a therapist, or simply someone trusted to talk to.
ChuckTingleBattlesTheAssGoblinsofAuschwitz
It tears you apart if you're used to co-dependancy. Make sure to not fall into a bad habbit.
snazzbasket
It sucks right now, but it does get a whole lot better. It sounds like you missed the worst part of a time bomb.
WagglyGerm
Also sometimes it gets harder. But those days pass. Hang in there
magicgirl
You know all those little compromises you had to make and do things his way sometimes and watch TV you didn't want to? You do you now x
snazzbasket
Yep I'd say that's the best first step
GabbyJayYay
Have you discovered the fascination of browsing craigslist for random items or going to thrift stores/ garage sales?
PineappleLoopsBroether
I’m 35 and have had the last 7 Christmases alone.
CraftyGiant
https://themighty.com/2018/12/ball-box-analogy-grief/ this helped me with my feelings after I got cheated on and we divorced.
deanobruce
It really does. Spent my first night alone about 2 months ago after 8 years. Some soul searching and good friends and I am doing good!
Trouter
2 weeks alone after 15yrs. Both ups and downs since, but it seems only up is possible from here <3