ThisTimeLastYear
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If evolution was true then why aren't there crocodiles on the moon?
(originally posted by @30Rock on 2020-06-07 00:55:03)
Jun 6, 2021 5:00 AM
ThisTimeLastYear
98937
3500
49
(originally posted by @30Rock on 2020-06-07 00:55:03)
CoolNewsToday
For me it's when someone said why don't we nuke hurricanes and then remembered that was the most powerful person on the planet.
chaosundivided
"...so your shipment will be delivered tomorrow between 8 and 6." "alright, great. how long is that going to take?"
Omni21
The amount of people who believe Mexico is not part of North America is too damn high.
kilo38
That Vikings weren’t/ aren’t real, just made up for entertainment. This person was adamant that Vikings are purely fictional.
somethingsomethingwittyhere
What? everybody knows they invented spam!
execbase
I got asked if Europe had Ketchup..
justhereforthemimes
Ok, but do you have peanut butter?
inshadowz
“Aren't you afraid God will be angry at you for not believing in him?”
Cebrail
Even if it was the right Indians, what does 10 billionaires out of 1.1 BILLION people prove ?!?
ActionJohnnie
But every American is a temporarily embarrassed billionaire, just minutes away from returning to wealth.
whyaminotstudying
I was just thinking, "There aren't 1.1 billion native Americans." How deep does this dumb go? I'm infected!
minqapoc
BUT you caught it in time, so you're immune to the infection :)
DrArsMoriendi
And the best part is, no matter how well you tried to explain, he'll leave that convo thinking he won.
TheVakarian
“Why don’t we send more money to poor countries, like Africa or Sweden?”
urakunt
American telling me that the entire world has free/cheap healthcare because America pays for it.
HairyChairstepper
Guyblinkinginconfusion.gif
HenryLongfellowIII
That's actually a common talking point in right-wing circles.
GlenL
So . . . they think the US pays for everybody's healthcare but they oppose them paying for their own?
urakunt
Well obviously the US is a benevolent force for good a shining city on a hill, so they pay for everyone else's healthcare before their own.
ForGondor
Americans are not overburden with a great deal of education.
m4dm4n
Educated by the internet and literacy quickly going out of style. :(
OpalSharkee
"Yes, black people are at a disadvantage in our society but white privilege doesnt exist."
Beefkins
My mom asking her German son-in-law if they celebrate Thanksgiving in Germany.
mercyPandaRunner
To be fair, "Erntedankfest" (Harvest Thanks fest (?) is not unknown, but our of fashion. The American one is just a recloined Erntedank.
mercyPandaRunner
"recloined Erntedank", not as is the specific German fest, but as in the ubiquitous concept of thanking and celebrating harvest.
Bestiarium
I remember a conversation a few years ago: a European said that since Halloween was over, he could start decorating for Christmas.
Bestiarium
The American guy (a great person, btw) answered that we forgot about Thanksgiving. I said that Thanksgiving is actually only celebrated in
Bestiarium
The USA. He replied: "yes but so is Christmas"
Lichelf
What happened then?
Bestiarium
I tried to explain to him that Christmas is celebrated in many countries, and he eventually changed his stance to 'Christmas isn't exclusive
Prolicon
That doesn't seem too bad to me. Not everyone knows what holidays are celebrated where.
Lichelf
Might as well have assumed they celebrated American Independence Day the 4th of July too. Both are america centric holidays.
Prolicon
someone asked me if we celebrate memorial day here in the UK and I had no clue what it was lol
Lichelf
Before anyone mentions Dutch, Canadian, or Brazilian Thanksgiving. Those are differet holidays, at different times, with different tradition
MenstrualWaterBalloons
I put "2.5 hours onsite" in the notes of a work order, and someone emailed asking if I meant 2 to 5 hours. I had to explain to an adult >
MenstrualWaterBalloons
Coworker who probably made more than me what a fucking decimal is. I kept the email because it was so stupid.
glenngriffon
"Georgia's a state, not a country."
thisiscatman
I've seen that on American news. A story about some political event over in easten europe but the image on screen was of the US state...
JessicaLil360
My fav country!
Scaramucci
Georgia is the name of my girlfriend, not a geographical location.
MadHakon
Well technically... Georgia the country by its native name is Sakartvelo... so you COULD argue that claim.
silrath
“Hitler, was he a goodie or a baddie?”
NonstopRampage
Speaking as a native american, this would've drove me to violence. Then again, it wouldn't take much. We have SO much we deserve justice for
CommentsThisTimeLastYear
Is the racism worse or the fact that he thinks the "evidence" actually refutes the claim?
AnathemaNoreh
Same people who say I was cold today so global warming is fake, or look at that field full of corn there's no world hunger. You know, idiots
Heisanevilgenius
There are many levels of stupid at play here
SandyTentaclez
Im not sure....
kojenk
The fact that there are indian billionaires in a land with billions in poverty itself refutes the attempt they made.
miniain
Yes.
KurtHamster
Both are terrible.... It’s impossible to say.
CommentsThisTimeLastYear
(originally by @FaultySage on 2020-06-07 01:29:11)
faultysage
Hey that's me.
TChallaVanDam
Pssshhh...anybody could say that.
StenYngve
When I lived in Canada my country became the #1 English as a second language speakers. A lady asked me why we didn't just speak English then
BeatMasterG
Telling my very white Australian housemate to cut out the offensive jokes, he says "But I can't be racist! I'm half n*g**r!"
ForGondor
As an Aussie I have to say we've got a huge problem with racism which often gets passed off as part of our "larrikin culture. 1/2
ForGondor
I try to tell my friends you not a larskin your just being a cunt. Anyway, have a good one cunno.
BeatMasterG
Yup, so true. And not just racism. I had an ex boyfriend from Albury who used to call people 'poofter' in what he claimed was a 1/3
BeatMasterG
"good natured" way (if they, say, left the pub early).
The problem (aside from the obvious) was that he was oblivious as to 2/3
BeatMasterG
whether someone might actually be gay.
..........Which, come to think of it, at least means he didn't discriminate! 3/3
BabeAfett
ThatTransformersDude
Dumbest fucking thing I heard ever was a guy saying if you can excuse homosexuality as a mental disease then they could get into heaven...
thisiscatman
"Karl Marx was Russian because he wrote the Communist Manifesto." - This was from a high school teacher I had.
AnticlockwiseMetamorphosis
"Hitler and his communist goons did very bad things to people in Europe." - My 7th grade social studies teacher.
taytomal
Moved to California. ‘OMG you’re from IRELAND! Do you have cars in Ireland?’ True story…..
ManWithJob
....Well?
Lichelf
Not since the incedent.
Fragarach
Once overhead an American tour group in Edinburgh Castle ask when the one o'clock gun went off..... The ONE O'CLOCK GUN.
Imsurprisedihaventchangedmyusernameyet
My friend from Ireland told me he drove an old farm tractor to school and it was normal among his class. He's a bit of a liar though.
StenYngve
It was normal where I'm from in Sweden too and Sweden ain't poor either.
wellitseemedlikeagoodideaatthetime
There are people who will use the tractor for additional trips, but they definitely own one or two cars too
markmcn87
Tell them we don't.... We get everywhere by sulky. Horses as far as the eye can see
wellitseemedlikeagoodideaatthetime
Hon thossy!
wereSOlittle
I’m from US. When I was in first grade I asked a new girl from Florida what language they spoke there. l still cringe sometimes.
AngelsPacing
“Covfefe”
ErniesWidow
Trump supporters yelling at protesting Native Americans to go back to their own country.
ArtOfKarolMichalec
Are you gay because you're called Karol, and that's a lady's name in Britain? Or are u called Karol because you're gay?
XanderCorsaj
New York kids. France, early 90s, I was 8: "Oh you're from Scotland. You have a TV?" Yes, doll. We invented it. Cave's coming along nicely..
otiumCatulli
19 yr old American, do you have cars in Germany? Oh only Mercedes, BMW...
Backload
German cars? In Germany it’s Mercs, BMW and VW are most of the cars you see. France for Renault Citroen and Peugeot. Fiat in Italy!
otiumCatulli
It's not just Americans of course, a woman in the UK went viral for thinking "Barraco Berner" was president of the UK.
TChallaVanDam
But that’s really just the A.I. cyborg presidential candidate that the democrats have been building in a lab for the 2024 elections, yeah?
TChallaVanDam
Barrack O’Bernie ‘24!
StenYngve
He's African American, he's Jewish and somehow also Irish
Mposel
I’m from NZ but live in London. The ‘jokes’ I get about living in huts or ‘do you even have internet there?’ absolute does my head in.
BernieMittens
Ha! I knew it, New zealanders live in hobbit holes!!
mercyPandaRunner
I wondered for a moment how you could post this on the internet, but then I realized you are in London. Stupid me.
geraint616
Yeh but are they jokes, or are the people just stupid? Because making fun of where someone is from is usually just banter.
pr0nty
To the latter, do you just give them a weird look and say, "Yeah, why wouldn't we?" to make them feel stupid and awkward trying to explain?
pr0nty
Because that's the least of what they deserve.
Mposel
That is exactly what I do. With a look on my face like they are thick.
eggmuffin
They are thick, though. So they likely fail to pick up that message.
shimmerkitten
Like they're thuck, you mean?
ConLawHero
Are you saying the TV was invented in Europe? Philo T. Farnsworth invented it in the US in the 1920s.
Garderp
Tesla no.1
nilseke
John Logie Baird
ConLawHero
Philo T. Farnsworth then (stolen and) mass produced by RCA
ConLawHero
He refined mechanical TVs which were first invented by Dr. Paul Nipkow in the 1880s. Farnsworth was the first with an electronic TV.
KoalaOnTheJuice
American telling an English person that they speak very good English for a foreigner. It wasn't a joke.
MisterLemons
I wanna say "we're not all that dim" but I'm not sure if that's true anymore...
GadenKerensky
Reminds me of a bit from War Horse, between an Englishman and a German. "You speak good English." "I speak English well."
Kittynomnoms
I mean... The US speaks an older form of English. UK English is the result of everyone copying the rich trying to sound distinguished.
FEMAcampsarereal
Yeah, nah.
KoalaOnTheJuice
Common ancestor, so somewhere in between. Just cos Americans say gotten dosn't mean there's not loads of anglicisms that Americans dropped.
DietCokeIsTheBest
Someone’s never been to Liverpool or Newcastle
Superchief86
A friend of mine is Australian and an American told her the same thing!
FrankMcKinMarjin
Australian here. On a visit to US, I was asked, "How did you learn English so good?" Tongue biting stuff.
bripi
Yeah but 2b fair Aussies can be impossible to understand!! I've worked with a few I couldn't get a word of what they were saying.
duckballz
Oi get fucked mate
ForGondor
Yeah old mate cunno her can get wrecked.
Lulabel73
Just nod and make a sound like yeah without saying yeah. Like “air” almost. Or if you disagree shake your head and say nah without the n.
ForGondor
Yeah nah = no. Nah yeah = yes. "oi nah yeah go on then cunt I'll have one" = yes I would enjoy a beverage.
Lulabel73
That’s a definite answer. This is for when you want to be vague.
Superchief86
I agree, and I'm Australian.
AttackoftheRobotMonkeys
Yeah nah
shimmerkitten
Nah yeah
AttackoftheRobotMonkeys
I said that in response to a work question by a Brit once and you could see him die a little inside
tujari
”Finnish isn’t that different from English, cause I’ve understood you quite fine...” (American to me after a 2h conversation in English)
m23ward
Had the exact same thing happen to me! They asked where I was from, I said "England" and they asked "Where'd you learn such good English?"
GrumpyOldMillennial
To be fair, I've heard a lot of different English dialects that were about as English as Creole is. Hot Fuzz got it right.
sha13
To be fair, not all Brits speak English well.
whyaminotstudying
My parent company is British. I am going to use this one the next time one of my colleagues from overseas come to visit.
alaest0r
It's my native tongue but I still think I'm more fluent in C++ than English
morelikeconsham
Totally going to say this as a joke for now on though
Xenarion
I've heard the opposite too.
ComcastLover
American explaining to me that the world is 3000 years old and that dinosaur bones were placed there by God.
ThisNameIsNotAboutYou
I'm English and have twice had a drunk English man say this to me when I was abroad
LicensedAdHominem
One of my favorite stealth insults as a "foreigner" is telling Americans their English is pretty good, corollary to "I'm very sorry for ⤵
LicensedAdHominem
⤷ "the confusion, it seems English isn't your first language and things got lost in translation. Let me explain..."
slinkiisu
How about an American telling someone from New Mexico their English is good.
GrumpyOldMillennial
Been to New Mexico. Legit thought Spanish was the main language at first. Regretted my 3 years of honors french....
TChallaVanDam
I mean technically that could be correct though. In fact it’s pretty likely.
JudasBenHure
I am from the eastside of germany, i bet that the majority of germans can't unterstand what came out of my mouth.
Firuhn
As a fellow German from the westside of Germany - can confirm 100%
Matsuuu
In Finland there is saying "when savonian speaks, liability is on listener" because of their dialect and way they speak indirectly
nycterelis
Well. Tbf, American Standard English is closer in sound than British Standard English to the early stages of modern English.
DeltaLaw
Who the fuck cares though is my question
rainehdaze
Pretty sure the person saying that was not an Elizabethan poet.
nycterelis
Disclaimer: the person you heard likely does not know that and is just ignorant.
tiredtiredtiredallthetime
Just rhotic use was preserved iirc
tiredtiredtiredallthetime
The American south had its own great vowel shift just like we did
NoNameFred
Claimed in a single study, in 1999, by an American Linguist (and Freemason), who based his study on Received Pronunciation, ignored the 1/2
NoNameFred
2/3 existence of the style of English spoken in the North of England, and decided that Latin spellings being older than the French/British
NoNameFred
3/3 ones means that dropping the "u" from words like "colour" (From the old French, "colour", not the Latin "color") was "more genuine".
NoNameFred
In short: actual "Old English" sounded a lot more like a Yorkshire / Mancunian accent than any of the American accents, Home Counties, or RP
Sevulturus
Was watching an English cooking show with my (English) wife. And one of the restaurants they visited the accents were so bad >
Sevulturus
that they literally had subtitles for the English being spoken (by English men). To this day, I tease my wife about being from the >
Sevulturus
only country that speaks English so poorly they need subtitles.
CheetoDustedMalcontent
If evolution was true then why aren't there crocodiles on the moon?
Sirtopumhat
There are on the "real"moon, just not the one used in Armstrong's film.
v
hendawg2020
The whalers killed 'em all, duh.
eversincetheaccident
HollowmanZU
jetflight
Give it some time.
TChallaVanDam
Wait.........what?
TChallaVanDam
Because there are zero connections between any of those implications? Did I win?
TChallaVanDam
This was 100% a joke right? Not a real thing that was really said? With any real realness? I’m very tired but this is going to fester.
CheetoDustedMalcontent
It was real. I think his argument is that it's a very old species, so if evolution was true they would have evolved enough to build rockets
htapoicoS
Well, are there?
majorserenity
Oh shit!!!!
insanemama
https://i.imgur.com/TesF703
StatisticallyInsignificantCanadian
Tsh. You believe in the moon?
Omegatherion
It's just the backside of the sun.
Scaramucci
Why doesn't an ape give birth to a human baby?
mercyPandaRunner
"If humans were descendent from apes, why are there still apes?" "Look at the trees!"
reabyeknom
Start the reply with, “well to be honest some humans are like undescended testicles…”
mercyPandaRunner
;)
3nd3rwiggin
Huh, this question had a really profound effect on me. Induced some very unexpected chains of thought.
m4dm4n
.
3nd3rwiggin
Had thoughts on how conspiracy theories form and how asking an unanswerable question can lead someone to believe that is confirmation of +
3nd3rwiggin
the theory. Few other thoughts formed as well in the mist of my mind but didn't form a clear enough image so they faded away.
m4dm4n
Sounds like some things to write about. I think most theories we see are just distractions from the real conspiracy/ conspiracies...
justarocknroller
The number of times I've had to explain that yes, poor Jewish people exist
Lichelf
"Were they so stingy they refused to buy more money?"
acceptableloquat
Where I grew up, there were very few Jewish people and they were virtually all professionals -- doctors and lawyers, mostly. 1/
acceptableloquat
A few computer programmers. It was a little odd when I first realized there were Jewish taxi drivers, shop workers, etc. Not bc of any 2/
acceptableloquat
(also note: I was about 8 at the time.)
acceptableloquat
anti-semitic Jewish banking/Rothschild/elites beliefs, but just because every one I'd ever encountered was solidly upper middle class.
Amousewithchees
Its almost like poverty can happen to any one regardless of heritage or nationality...
johnzaku
But what about their jew gold?
ImNotStalkingYouBTWYoureOutOfMilk
The government seized it to give to American corperations, so that they could kill arabs
RVAALLDAY
I think they keep it in a pouch around their neck. That or South Park lied to me
TonyStarksDeadDadHoward
They spent it all on space lasers
Zahnradfee
The Nazis took it. :/
johnzaku
^^ actual response during a similar exchange ^^
parabolic000
I mean, people, literally present day, still will feel Jewish peoples' heads for horns, so...yeah, I buy it.
CloudsandRainandSunandWind
They do WHAT?
parabolic000
something about a mistranslation of a halo or some shit. Essentially, there are modern day human beings who think Jews have horns. No cap.
TChallaVanDam
Wait....wha-huh?
parabolic000
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moses_(Michelangelo) literally a mistranslation but several thousand years of ingrained antisemitism...
justarocknroller
It's kinda disturbing how many folks actually believe that nonsense, innit?
ItSeemsYouHaveSufferedaTerribleFate
Yall act like you've never encountered an edgy teenager that thinks it's cool to troll by reciting those lines.
ItSeemsYouHaveSufferedaTerribleFate
4chan has indoctrinated a large portion of internet types & can be seen as responsible for the rise of "troll culture"
justarocknroller
Problem is those edgy teenagers grew up into racist adults
ingarf
I am from Norway and frequently travel US for business. One time a lady asked me if I was sad because I was going home the next day.
PengPengWin
You win.
Insomnia297
She really doesn't know much about Norway, then. I'm living in a developing country and I've got a better life here than in the US.
Dlebful
Oh man, what state was this in?
ingarf
North Carolina
AlkeneThiol
I am exhausted but I dont get it
AlkeneThiol
Why did I get downvoted. I worked 14 hours yesterday and had a 1.5 hour drive home due to a road closure. I wanted to understand so I asked.
urzumph
She is implying that Norway is a bad place to live, compared to the US. I highly doubt this is a common opinion along Norwegians...
StenYngve
I doubt anyone that's seen Norway would think it's a sad place to return to.
AlkeneThiol
Ohh. Thank you
pawdraig
I (Irish) was just discussing this with my gf (US) that Americans tend to think Ireland/EU is poorer. I think its that everything in the 1/
wellitseemedlikeagoodideaatthetime
Yeah until they spend time in Europe and realise how scammed they are back home in the Gun'ited states
pawdraig
US is for convenience. At least vs Ireland cars in the US come in higher spec as standard, people upgrade cars more often, showers 2/
pawdraig
heating systems tend to be better, way more choice when you go to grocery stores. Not due to the US being richer, just more that they 3/
pawdraig
don't want to be unconvinced and want the appearance of luxury
SkepticMech
Do... do you *want* to be inconvenienced?
DarknessfillsmyheartwithpainTIMMAY
Um, that's not the US. Most of the West has those things better than Ireland. Sorry
pawdraig
Has worse things better than Ireland...? Have you been yo much of Ireland? The US is huge so I won't pretent to have experienced all/much 1/
Prealan
I'm from Sweden, went to the US and someone asked if we have internet.
BraveBraveSirRobin
StenYngve
Spotify is steam powered in Scandinavia blasting music in the town square
CaldariBob
And all they play is German oompah-music, too. Which is weird, because it's Scandinavia.
StenYngve
That's a stereotype actually, in Sweden we only play Roxette - It Must Have Been Love, in Norway I believe it's the 2009 winner of the 1/2
StenYngve
2/2 Eurovision Song Contest song, I'm In Love With A Fairytale performed by Alexander Ryback. Not too sure about Denmark though.
AK90
Bum duck middle of nowhere here in Sweden and we have Fiber. Can choose between 30+ ISPs LOL
Zahnradfee
German rural folks hate you.
ingarf
She believed US was superior in all ways and that I rather wanted to stay in US than go back to my family, home, free healthcare etc.
Datsinginguy
As an American living abroad, I see it so often in the US tourists but not those who live outside the US. Btw Norway is great.
Ryann85
That's a pretty large stretch. Her asking that doesn't imply anything other than maybe trying to be polite and converse... Seems like you..
Ryann85
We're the presumptuous one....
Tridhfr92
My friend (we're from France) before covid-19 had to travel frequently to the US for work. He still had question about why would he go back.
WhistlePig
Why would he stay? It's totally not great over here
ingarf
And yes, we have cars, TV, Netflix, food, clothes, education and everything else
ElbowDeepInAPoliceState
Yeah but like, real clothes or do you have to make them yourselves?
SecondSince
Most Americans have never left and will never leave their country so they have ZERO perspective. And their education sucks balls.
HenryLongfellowIII
Or they spent 2 weeks in Europe, got overcharged for everything by rude service people who only deal with tourists and vowed never to return
wellitseemedlikeagoodideaatthetime
Yeah they say "we did Europe" well what parts? Belgium or ballynonty?
HenryLongfellowIII
Here are all the photos of landmarks from the bus, and lots of photos of nice couples we met from Cleveland and Decatur.
Bestiarium
That's because Americans have to swallow a lot of propaganda since birth. I remember a French guy (not me, so take the story with a grain of
Bestiarium
salt) who lived in the USA for a few years and went to high school there. One of the school teachers explained to him that if he wanted to
Bestiarium
turn on the light, he should press the light switch, and tried to tell him how lamps and electricity work. Turns out, she genuinely thought
Bestiarium
France had no electricity or modern technology and was still living in the middle ages.
WhatTheWhatTheWhatTheWhat
Most Americans would rather live in Norway with you and your family...
GenerallyLurkInBed
Devils advocate; did she mean that you’d be sad because she was thinking your vacation was ending?
NurietaGM
He mentioned in his comment that is was a business travel. And the devil doesn't need an advocate.