Dec 15, 2018 11:10 PM
MrQuezada
113785
2441
70
GoAwayOrIWillTauntYouASecondTime
“Rise,” he told the sputtering boy as he slapped him on his back. “You have drowned and been returned to us. What is dead can never die.”
watchesyouwhileyousleep
Saw the title and the thumbnail, cringed the whole way through, glad it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.
khornn
Just wait to see what that priest does to him when he gets older.
pickledpunk021
The look on the priests face says it all. Damnit not again.
mydogsarebetterthanyours
theeponymoustimmy
Give him a break....he's only used to handling half naked boys like three times that age.
NunyaBizness
In the name of the Father, the Son and the HOLY SHIT!
IMainReinhardt
Truly an underrated comment
Frogapus
That priest at the end is just like
Lifeofthefuneral
Couldntthinkofacoolname
That shit ain't cute man! I'd be freaking pissed!
thesmellofbooks
Agreed. That tiny baby smacked its head on that marble. Guys an asshat.
callmethelizardqueen
He didn't really drop it, kid moved & he couldn't grab him.
SamArt53
Does this have something to do with the invisible man in the sky?
Merovean
Still better than what the church usually does to children...
IamJustinSane
Who would have thought that something bad might happen when you hand your child to a pedophile in a dress?
spence37j
Not the first time a member of the church has "mishandled" a child.
njessup1992
Doesn't look Catholic, they don't do immersion
duelwieldingaspatulaandaswiffer
Ouch
furriephillips
This is what happens when you force your hocus pocus religion on someone who has no choice.
BallsLikeWatermelonsPeckerLikeAThimble
The kid just learned what life is like.
MacDaddySmitt
In life, even holy water tries to fuck you.
thefragrantvagrant
The priests little finger flicks at the end fucking killed me
LucidAftermath
Well, my work here is done.
strongfort
Sometimes you just have to smack the devil out of them!
Shakespeare96
I can't tell if you know this by your comment, but that is actually literally a thing among Muslims.
scnottaken
Hi Bob Ross
nowaythisnameisavailable
When I had my daughter baptized the priest said “maybe we need to do an exorcism!” She was 2 and screaming like a banshee nice.
SkoomaDeeler
Don'r ppl drink holy water?
stratojet96
I dont think its popular but im sure theres a few that do. Meaning 5 people.
destinoz
I drink tap water, but not if a baby has sat in it. I’m sure similar rules apply.
ranhalt
You drink wine at church. The blood of Christ. Holy water is just cleansing. It’s all fake. But wow how do you get that wrong.
suretoast
No.
Lulabel73
I think the problem is more the baby smacking his face
MonkeyRumJunky
People are fucking dumb
Zigon
babies are more durable than people give them credit for. its fineeeeeee haha.
GimcrackGewgaw
Dude forgot it's supposed to be a RITUAL sacrifice of a baby to the river god.
PariahCarey
“Its” lol
Imhereforthelurking
Angry, but fiiiiiiinnneeee
MathiasGreyjoy
Seriously. Plus he was holding him one handed, while the other hand is wet, and that baby wriggled. It's not his fault.
cptwott
hahahaaa
JoeSchmew
He's fiiiiine, just tell him to walk it off.
pineapplewalrus
Never trust the advice given by a person that refers to babies as "it"
MrShoez
I think they meant the situation is fine we they said that.
altonbrowndeserveshisownmemefuckyouifyoudisagree
Labor and delivery nurse here. It’s fineeeeeee
bomboy23
Web developer here. Agreed
kcidakcusog
True. You can't break a baby.
heushveusgwu
Correct me if I'm wrong here but I still feel like that's totally possible
Shmaaw
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think he was making a joke.
Digrizbutputanunderscoreafterit
v
WolfTheDoctor
Never fails to make me laugh
MakeLikeAtreeNfkoff
The lols are real for this one.
ItsAlwaysFunFlaccid
If I had to drink any of that stuff I'd wanna be hit in the face with a ball too lol
spittleteets
Maté is great
Just the visual looks awful lol. I guess I never tried it
Well they really are. My son did the jerk/face plant at 5 hrs old. I was burping him & he arced & twisted into the rail on the side of my
Yumbledore
I remember dropping my brother on his head. He didn't cry or anything so I didn't tell anyone what happened.
bed. I freaked & buzzed for the nurse, who wasn't even worried. He didn't have a mark on him.
NotMyUsualOnlineName
It's because he was still young and made of rubber. Give it a few years and every small bump is life or death from the kid's perspective.
sexandotherdrugs
Howmanypandas
This is what I was looking for
Gogo96
It was at that moment, where John realized he fucked up
BernieMittens
Watch the priest! His reaction is gold
Stinkdog
Are you sure it’s gold? Maybe frankincense? Myrrh?
-third baby this week
350Zoidberg
Welp, there goes my Christmas bonus.
jag77
What hurt more that or circumcision?
CaptainClarification
Welp, looks like I picked a whole field of whoopsie daisies
saltyPopcornkitty
Better a slip of the priest, than it is a slip of the mohel
JKJeepHawk
Welp, this kid's relationship with God is off to a great start.
DrSharkbite
PaulVolcker
That baby is high as fuck off those dunks
Grimro
His face
Marstony
He is a professional at doing dip dip the kid in the hep!
TheHaloFollower
Talk you son of a bitch!
leteshi
xD
somewhatparanoidpanda
Ok I ate the goddam airplane, are you happy!?
postman69
Is that water or vodka ?
RalphtheMagnif
Where's the money Lebowski?
mtgjbone
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdftbYqA_VQ
EagleOzols
WHERE’S THE FUCKIN MONEY SHIT HEADDDD
MaladaptedMedic
It's down there somewhere, let me take another look
Nice my dude haha
Whhhhheeeeerrres the money, fucking deadbeat!
Sorry, The Dude
TemetNosce000
Alright. This made me laugh
TheSevvy
Brewdoc
googleknowsmysecrets
Parenting tip #124: Start waterboard training at young age to prepare for the gulag
imjakefromstatefarm
Wtf thumbnail legit looks like they're dropping a baby in a cooking pot.
nonamejanie
OrcLuck
bruh that's called blanching.
GingFreecssjr
Definitely a future meth head
StrongBackandWeakMind
He was like "I just saw my entire freaking life flash before my eyes!"
iMalinowski
I wish to return to the void.
Harkencur
it was a .gif
All 8 months of it!! Not enough titties!!!"
MFDork
I didn’t think I could find a religion I liked less than Western Christianity, then I discovered eastern Christianity
SMH20
Dats why Slavs are so durable.
thelionpear
The ones that survive
DanniLuxgarbe
It's like when Achilles' mother dipped him in the river Styx. Now, this is obviously less potent, but you will note that they make sure /1
the child will not have an "Achilles Heel" by dipping them multiple times to ensure a thorough coverage.
ManILoveBoobies
That shit I messed up face at the end.
Theres a reason the eastern orthodox method(as seen below) is to just speed dunk the little fuckers before they can wriggle away.
SpecialContainmentProcedures
Guess that was my last baptism. Neat. Imma go call a lawyer.
whatupmyknitters
BanadecCamberbootch
This is destined to be memed.
TrashEnthusiast
"aw fuck not again"
chocolatedashtea
nunyuh
Haha i see it
RaymondLastNam
Well at least he got full coverage.
Gregadactyl
That lil finger flick. "Welp, guess it coulda been worse..."
AmArschdieRaeuber
That "shit, I messed up"-face at the end. Ftfy
fudgex
And I like the period at the end to show they sort of kind of cared but not really
PasoDelNorte
IamTheNesT
Or like "my job here is done"!
Priests have done worse and their careers survived.
blazed1
Stupid barbaric shit neway
Syrmerlin
You choose to say this about the most harmless religious practice on Earth. Come on, dude.
StarrryNight
indoctrination isn't harmless
Indoctrination from birth. Real harmless
WyrmsWorks
No, getting the baby wet is harmless.
Daphault1
But worthless too. All that crying and zero benefit.
Tru dat. There's benefit to the priest and mother, the feeling of satisfaction and comfort for "doing the right thing" for the child, but a
GoAwayOrIWillTauntYouASecondTime
“Rise,” he told the sputtering boy as he slapped him on his back. “You have drowned and been returned to us. What is dead can never die.”
watchesyouwhileyousleep
Saw the title and the thumbnail, cringed the whole way through, glad it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.
khornn
Just wait to see what that priest does to him when he gets older.
pickledpunk021
The look on the priests face says it all. Damnit not again.
mydogsarebetterthanyours
theeponymoustimmy
Give him a break....he's only used to handling half naked boys like three times that age.
NunyaBizness
In the name of the Father, the Son and the HOLY SHIT!
IMainReinhardt
Truly an underrated comment
Frogapus
That priest at the end is just like
Lifeofthefuneral
Couldntthinkofacoolname
That shit ain't cute man! I'd be freaking pissed!
thesmellofbooks
Agreed. That tiny baby smacked its head on that marble. Guys an asshat.
callmethelizardqueen
He didn't really drop it, kid moved & he couldn't grab him.
SamArt53
Does this have something to do with the invisible man in the sky?
Merovean
Still better than what the church usually does to children...
IamJustinSane
Who would have thought that something bad might happen when you hand your child to a pedophile in a dress?
spence37j
Not the first time a member of the church has "mishandled" a child.
njessup1992
Doesn't look Catholic, they don't do immersion
duelwieldingaspatulaandaswiffer
Ouch
furriephillips
This is what happens when you force your hocus pocus religion on someone who has no choice.
BallsLikeWatermelonsPeckerLikeAThimble
The kid just learned what life is like.
MacDaddySmitt
In life, even holy water tries to fuck you.
thefragrantvagrant
The priests little finger flicks at the end fucking killed me
LucidAftermath
Well, my work here is done.
strongfort
Sometimes you just have to smack the devil out of them!
Shakespeare96
I can't tell if you know this by your comment, but that is actually literally a thing among Muslims.
scnottaken
Hi Bob Ross
nowaythisnameisavailable
When I had my daughter baptized the priest said “maybe we need to do an exorcism!” She was 2 and screaming like a banshee nice.
SkoomaDeeler
Don'r ppl drink holy water?
stratojet96
I dont think its popular but im sure theres a few that do. Meaning 5 people.
destinoz
I drink tap water, but not if a baby has sat in it. I’m sure similar rules apply.
ranhalt
You drink wine at church. The blood of Christ. Holy water is just cleansing. It’s all fake. But wow how do you get that wrong.
suretoast
No.
Lulabel73
I think the problem is more the baby smacking his face
MonkeyRumJunky
People are fucking dumb
Zigon
babies are more durable than people give them credit for. its fineeeeeee haha.
GimcrackGewgaw
Dude forgot it's supposed to be a RITUAL sacrifice of a baby to the river god.
PariahCarey
“Its” lol
Imhereforthelurking
Angry, but fiiiiiiinnneeee
MathiasGreyjoy
Seriously. Plus he was holding him one handed, while the other hand is wet, and that baby wriggled. It's not his fault.
cptwott
hahahaaa
JoeSchmew
He's fiiiiine, just tell him to walk it off.
pineapplewalrus
Never trust the advice given by a person that refers to babies as "it"
MrShoez
I think they meant the situation is fine we they said that.
altonbrowndeserveshisownmemefuckyouifyoudisagree
Labor and delivery nurse here. It’s fineeeeeee
bomboy23
Web developer here. Agreed
kcidakcusog
True. You can't break a baby.
heushveusgwu
Correct me if I'm wrong here but I still feel like that's totally possible
Shmaaw
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think he was making a joke.
Digrizbutputanunderscoreafterit
WolfTheDoctor
Never fails to make me laugh
MakeLikeAtreeNfkoff
The lols are real for this one.
ItsAlwaysFunFlaccid
If I had to drink any of that stuff I'd wanna be hit in the face with a ball too lol
spittleteets
Maté is great
ItsAlwaysFunFlaccid
Just the visual looks awful lol. I guess I never tried it
callmethelizardqueen
Well they really are. My son did the jerk/face plant at 5 hrs old. I was burping him & he arced & twisted into the rail on the side of my
Yumbledore
I remember dropping my brother on his head. He didn't cry or anything so I didn't tell anyone what happened.
callmethelizardqueen
bed. I freaked & buzzed for the nurse, who wasn't even worried. He didn't have a mark on him.
NotMyUsualOnlineName
It's because he was still young and made of rubber. Give it a few years and every small bump is life or death from the kid's perspective.
sexandotherdrugs
Howmanypandas
This is what I was looking for
Gogo96
It was at that moment, where John realized he fucked up
BernieMittens
Watch the priest! His reaction is gold
Stinkdog
Are you sure it’s gold? Maybe frankincense? Myrrh?
BernieMittens
-third baby this week
350Zoidberg
Welp, there goes my Christmas bonus.
jag77
What hurt more that or circumcision?
CaptainClarification
Welp, looks like I picked a whole field of whoopsie daisies
saltyPopcornkitty
Better a slip of the priest, than it is a slip of the mohel
JKJeepHawk
Welp, this kid's relationship with God is off to a great start.
DrSharkbite
PaulVolcker
That baby is high as fuck off those dunks
Grimro
His face
Marstony
He is a professional at doing dip dip the kid in the hep!
TheHaloFollower
Talk you son of a bitch!
leteshi
xD
somewhatparanoidpanda
Ok I ate the goddam airplane, are you happy!?
postman69
Is that water or vodka ?
RalphtheMagnif
Where's the money Lebowski?
mtgjbone
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdftbYqA_VQ
EagleOzols
WHERE’S THE FUCKIN MONEY SHIT HEADDDD
MaladaptedMedic
It's down there somewhere, let me take another look
RalphtheMagnif
Nice my dude haha
Digrizbutputanunderscoreafterit
Whhhhheeeeerrres the money, fucking deadbeat!
RalphtheMagnif
Sorry, The Dude
TemetNosce000
Alright. This made me laugh
TheSevvy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdftbYqA_VQ
Brewdoc
googleknowsmysecrets
Parenting tip #124: Start waterboard training at young age to prepare for the gulag
imjakefromstatefarm
Wtf thumbnail legit looks like they're dropping a baby in a cooking pot.
nonamejanie
OrcLuck
bruh that's called blanching.
GingFreecssjr
Definitely a future meth head
StrongBackandWeakMind
He was like "I just saw my entire freaking life flash before my eyes!"
iMalinowski
I wish to return to the void.
Harkencur
it was a .gif
Imhereforthelurking
All 8 months of it!! Not enough titties!!!"
MFDork
I didn’t think I could find a religion I liked less than Western Christianity, then I discovered eastern Christianity
SMH20
Dats why Slavs are so durable.
thelionpear
The ones that survive
DanniLuxgarbe
It's like when Achilles' mother dipped him in the river Styx. Now, this is obviously less potent, but you will note that they make sure /1
DanniLuxgarbe
the child will not have an "Achilles Heel" by dipping them multiple times to ensure a thorough coverage.
ManILoveBoobies
That shit I messed up face at the end.
Imhereforthelurking
Theres a reason the eastern orthodox method(as seen below) is to just speed dunk the little fuckers before they can wriggle away.
SpecialContainmentProcedures
Guess that was my last baptism. Neat. Imma go call a lawyer.
whatupmyknitters
BanadecCamberbootch
This is destined to be memed.
TrashEnthusiast
"aw fuck not again"
chocolatedashtea
nunyuh
chocolatedashtea
MrQuezada
Haha i see it
RaymondLastNam
Well at least he got full coverage.
Gregadactyl
That lil finger flick. "Welp, guess it coulda been worse..."
AmArschdieRaeuber
That "shit, I messed up"-face at the end. Ftfy
fudgex
And I like the period at the end to show they sort of kind of cared but not really
PasoDelNorte
IamTheNesT
Or like "my job here is done"!
Yumbledore
Priests have done worse and their careers survived.
blazed1
Stupid barbaric shit neway
Syrmerlin
You choose to say this about the most harmless religious practice on Earth. Come on, dude.
StarrryNight
indoctrination isn't harmless
blazed1
Indoctrination from birth. Real harmless
WyrmsWorks
No, getting the baby wet is harmless.
Daphault1
But worthless too. All that crying and zero benefit.
WyrmsWorks
Tru dat. There's benefit to the priest and mother, the feeling of satisfaction and comfort for "doing the right thing" for the child, but a