an3k
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1. The Energy Frog, which is sure to solve all your problems.
Just don’t ask what it does.
2. The Kiwi-to-Go Box, because how else would you transport a kiwi? Carry it?
3. The Sprint Parachute, because why not make your morning jog even more difficult than it already is.
4. The Dust Sword, because cleaning should be an adventure.
5. The Coffee Mug Holder for your bike, because nothing quenches thirst like hot coffee.
6. The Banana Slicer, because using a knife isn’t efficient enough.
7. Or this Windshield Wiper Blade Trimmer, because apparently that’s a thing?
8. The Butter Stamp, because you’ve gotta do something to give your life a little more meaning.
9. The Yoga-Block. Look how comfortable she looks!
10. The Lotion Application Aid, because you shouldn’t have to reach for a well-moisturized back.
11. This Citrus Sprayer, which I guarantee you does not work.
12. The Secure Wallet, which in no way will make you look like a huge dork.
13. The Display Cleaning Pen, for anyone who finds that wiping their phones on their shirt is too convenient.
14. Ladies’ Gardening Shears, because women can’t handle A MAN’S gardening shears.
15. Matching “Storm Hoods”, because the family that robs together, stays together.
16. Emergency Tights, with helpful phrases on them to show off that you really never intended to be seen in them.
17. This pan, which includes a little extra slot for a test piece.
18. A Potato Trident, to hold your potato while you’re peeling it.
19. This LED-powered multicolored fake candle powered by an app. Because the one thing candles needed was an app.
20. This Finger Trainer, because your finger strength is embarrassing and everyone at the gym keeps laughing at you.
21. And last but not least, this Counting Bottle Opener, which shames you for having that third beer.
cuprohastes
You stole Buzzfeed's entire post, captions and all? YOU SLACKER!
TheAngryBear
Wow, did you just get fired from Tchibo or something @op?
Aldryic
Maybe Rammstein's "Amerika" wasn't quite so cynical after all <_<
nikknolte35
The citrus sprayer works and is awesome
clairemarie91
A lot of products you laugh at or think are ridiculous actually really help people with poor dexterity or weaknesses in hands/arms.
0x1CEB00DA
the Scheibenwischblatt-Nachschneider saves you a lot of money ... because it actually works *cleans his Energiefrosch with the Staubschwert*
MKDouma
you shut your whore mouth about that citrus sprayer, it works great and applies an even misting of juice right into my eyeballs eVERY TIME
SugarSmack
I thought most of these were pretty fuckin neat-o. Fuck me I guess.
quietwalker
Butter stamps are old school, standard european/british stuff. The duster sword is meant for blinds. Lots of 'as seen on tv' crap tho...
Greyganado
As a German I have to say that potato tridents are utterly awesome.
SKELETONMAAAN
How do you use it? I don't quite get it, doesn't it get in the way? How do you cut properly with it?
Greyganado
The potato gets boiled with the skin on and you peel it while it's hot. The skin comes off easily even with the trident in the way.
SKELETONMAAAN
Oooh it's for Pellkartoffeln. That makes much more sense
ImJustQwerty
A lot of these seem pretty practical and you seem way too cynical
XnitroHD
actually 80% of those are usable and i dunno why the fuck you listed them...sprint parachutes?You don´t know any professional sports do you?
DAFUQisaLOMMY
You don't ask for genius things, Germany just provides them...we didn't ask for Einstein, but God Damn, did the son-of-a-bitch provide!
stresstwig
it's tchibo. i was expecting this. you want real pointless? hammacherschlemmer.
theBEARDEDarchaeologist
Plopp! Wow!
Likeasambodii
As someone who does yoga, yoga blocks are found in every yoga school and are very useful and even crucial for certain exercises
Maldraek
It actually took me a moment to see the block in the picture.
SKELETONMAAAN
I'd totally get one if I had to do yoga. I have shitty balance and my muscles are weak as fuck
Azaarie
They are really helpful for beginners (like me) who aren't as flexible yet and can't go completely in a pose and need some support!
MyBubbles
They also help you get deeper into poses when you get more flexible. Like standing on the blocks on a forward fold
Azaarie
I never thought of that but that is something to change Mauser when I get more adjusted to the poses!
Azaarie
*consider
Pmic1987
This a shit list,from parachutes to the baclava..most of these are extremely useful and serve Thier purpose.
NewVegasResident
Do you mean balaclava ?
harvestoftacos
And not probably German inventions...
pugofstardock
Can you prove this?
BecaauseImBatman
The use of the word "probably" indicates that they might be able to prove it but don't care enough to do so.
mcshady
Baklava is a Mediterranean dessert. It's basically filo dough used as a butter and sugar transportation device.
Verelse
Greek festival is this weekend here, I am going to transport a lot of butter and sugar transportation devices directly to my mouth.
mcshady
I am jealous.
xesom
I cant see a single one of these that is unique to Germans. Energy Frog? There are new age hippies in every country.
agermanguy
I have one for about 5 years now , just because i thought its funny.
kanihaznaiph
I'd buy it for my mom simply because she likes frogs...
SKELETONMAAAN
Your mom has good taste
uzerok
I don't know either (as a German). Perhaps it's the combination of a coffee bar (Tchibo) and those sometimes odd products. Because you 1/2
uzerok
know, who doesn't like to buy a cup of coffee when you can also have a ski mask and an Energyfrog. 2/2
SKELETONMAAAN
I'd rather have the frog than coffee tbh
xesom
I may be going across to Munich for a wander next week. I'll be on the look out.
uzerok
If you're going to visit Munich and are into coffee and delicatessen make sure to see 'Der Dallmayr'.
xesom
Thank you internet stranger for the recommendation.
luisiffer
Yeah but that lotion applicator for your back I could actually use.
Ifixthingsthatdestroyotherthings
That's a single "storm hood", also known as a balaklava, they're not German, and they're awesome if your working in the cold.
Mithi
Also wear one when you put on your motorcycle helmet
agermanguy
And where does it say its german? It is just selled in germany.
Ifixthingsthatdestroyotherthings
The title is "21 products from Germany the rest of the world never asked for"
giveittomestraightlikeapearcidermadefrom100percentpears
Or cycling in the cold. Really important.. And, i mean.. Is it dumb?
Bobaknob
Ligit head wear if you're from The Falls Road or The Bogside.
Kidiri
Not to be confused with a baklava, which is kind of sticky to wear if you're working in the cold.
Ifixthingsthatdestroyotherthings
Although very tasty, you end up with walnuts and cinnamon in your hair.
prufock
Balaklava, not so tasty.
TangoIndiaTangoSierra
You're *
Ifixthingsthatdestroyotherthings
Yore*
BattleMercy
Yor
Ifixthingsthatdestroyotherthings
Yo
thatgirl2214
No. 9 is completly valid, it helps you stretch more, and helps to train people less flexible
Joerusalem42
Im pretty sure the butter stamp is for quantity measurements
Scheiterhaufen
Indeed. It even says so on the box :)
MankHoody
The striped one likely is, but the other stamps such as the flowers serve no real purpose me thinks.
snarkface
I think the coffee mug holder is for the commuter to have their cuppa when they get there.
foxhoundunit89
OP you're a fucking idiot if you think all of these are useless.
Th3LongShanks
I own the bike coffee holder. Underrated
LivinginLuling
You could also put a beer in it.
mcshady
I have a cupholder on my beach cruiser. It is awesome. It's the perfect size for a beer (erm, soda...) in one of those big cushy koozies.
SuperRockinMrMagic
Because I'm not racing every single time I get on a bike. Actually I never am, I'll take 2
HiddenSanity
Also: It's not like a coffee holder must hold a hot coffee, you could put a slushie in there.
pugofstardock
I have one for my way to or from work. Sometimes I Bike through bk's Drive through and get a Hot cocoa.
Insertlamename
It seemed like it would be really helpful for someone who rides their bike to work/class. I would buy it.
slapabear
I sometimes ride my bike with hot coffee in one hand. It's a little sketchy
darearkin
#3 is actually completely valid. It's sort of like those guys who drag a tire behind themselves when they run.
ProvidesYouShittyLinks
ProvidesYouShittyLinks
with the trident it is much easier 2/2
CouldCareLessButDoesnt
Have seen this too
CriticalNipple
Professional athletes train with them
SuperRockinMrMagic
I prefer the tire but parachute is totally legit.
Crovox
Yoga blocks are perfectly normal as well.
RaisinZetaJones
As is the wiper blade trimmer. Especially if you live somewhere were you get ice. Having to replace frayed wipers is a pain in the ass.
five09
Seen football players and lots of other athletes use them
spacecadet103
so is #9. its like a totally normal thing that millions of people use
dingelberrrys
OP never played sports obviously
HereInDuckburg
There were a handful of these that were completely acceptable but that OP tried convincing us were weird
mallywanders
I would love to have the windshield wiper trimmers.
Blackmind1992
Yeah, I would totally use #17. I know what I'm getting for Christmas.
NotQuiteDeadYetPool
Like #16 where the print is on the packaging and not the stockings. Were I a lady, I'd carry an emergency pair in my car for accidents.
StatistNo1
He copied that all from Buzzfeed. My mum send me this shit. Especially the The Display Cleaning Pen is pretty nice. It has cleaning liquid.
StatistNo1
And the Matching “Storm Hoods” doesn't say anything about matching on the package.
FindYourChillMate
Yep, my mum uses ladies secatuers because she isnt strong enough for mens
SalmonSailor
Women*
SalmonSailor
It's a fact that men have a better natural grip strength than womrn
FindYourChillMate
Its a fact that men have better natural strength than women just in general.#
UndercoverDumbledore
I have the back moisturiser thing because I have psoriasis and no flexibility. The finger trainer is useful for quitting smoking.
HereInDuckburg
Also for occupational therapy
SKELETONMAAAN
Does the back thing actually work? I have dry skin and I can't reach every spot with my hands
UndercoverDumbledore
Yeh :) I used one meant for fake tan as I saw it whilst buying fake tan (I like being orange, and what) I'll see if I can find a link!
hiddenchild
I used to use them during swim practice. God that sucked
SupermassiveZebra
Would you say it was a drag
helicalcrane
I've seen someone use one out jogging before so at least one person wanted it
tsuyoshiro
As someone who has to bake a lot for others, I'll gladly take that pan with the test piece.
q2grapple
wouldn't it also cook differently being in a little bump on the side? Like faster than the main cake?
Jeromine
AND THE CITRUS SPRAYER WORKS AND I LOVE IT
YouWereMythTaken
That actually sounds pretty awesome
curseofold
Doesn't it Stil make it obvious that something's been cut off?
avervetmonkey
If you're not covering it up with deco, sure? But when you make "naked" cakes you just use normal pans
MyBubbles
It seems like it will keep the cake shape. Also you normally add frosting or decoration on it that will cover it
theFartySarlacc
Not if a frosting goes over the top of it.
LeastInterestingManInTheWorld
The duster sword looks pretty bitchin', for, you know, a duster...
ShouldIReallyGoWithMyOldUsernameFuckItCallMeAcromos
It is used for cleaning radiators and other small slots. Perfectly usable.
strawberrys0da
MURDER THE DUST!
jobe
Word, I was considering getting two. My cat would love it also lol
aselleus
It would be handy to dust vents and between the slats on window blinds
LeastInterestingManInTheWorld
Like a regular duster... BUT SHAPED LIKE A SWORD!
aselleus
Well obviously. How else can you stab the dust?
ArmyCasanova
Wo wohnst du OP?
an3k
München
Wesugi
A mingana!
darearkin
As an American who knows about six words of German I'm guessing he asked where you're from. If so, I gotta say, you got one -awesome- 1/2
ZachPutland
Was = What, Wenn = When, Wo = Where, Wer = Who. Pretty easy except that one is a little backwards for English speakers
darearkin
city there. I visited once and would give a leg to go back. 2/2
MichaelJCabooseLeaderOfTheBlueArmy
Is that a legitimate offer?
ArmyCasanova
Traurig
an3k
Garnicht, heißt ja nicht umsonst Bayern und RestDeutschland. Außerdem gibts gutes Bier um euch ertragen zu können ;)
vonCosel
Unser zehntes Bundesland *hrrhrr*
dogetrainer
Nürnberg hier; kann ich so bestätigen.
[deleted]
[deleted]
kortex
Merkel ist nicht aus Bayern... ohne weitere Worte