BachelorGourmet
404648
18374
886
That's a perfect cosplay (Alyson Tabbitha)
Cosplayer Alyson Tabbitha, found on Facebook.
Oct 14, 2016 4:56 PM
BachelorGourmet
404648
18374
886
Cosplayer Alyson Tabbitha, found on Facebook.
Saxuallytransmitted
First thing I thought of when I saw this. I'm not sorry.
suckmybanana
'cause angles are so dang sexy
Huor
That alien is really pulling off that human costume.
IAmYourSealOfApproval
Banana for scale?
OneSaadMan
i approve of upvoting selfies that showcases his/her's best crafts.
Papakeecha
No boobs to boobs?
FortressOfInsanity
That's impressive.
Criddy
And that folks is why imgur is flooded with pictures of women. Lots of lonely guys!
AlexanderFieldisnotmyrealname
Cosplay,and a serios one,not 2 min of make-up and a skirt
MalkavianProstitute
I mean there is a lot of evidence to say that women are just plain funner to look at than men, no matter your gender/sexuality.
Criddy
Whatever float your boat
pocsaclypse
anyone thats a sniper is not a person i want to associate with
IDontKnowHowToHuman
https://media.giphy.com/media/qHk71ZNODxVC0/giphy.gif
DeimosBarret
Salty
MrPewpyPants
You sir, are a Sniperist.
pocsaclypse
i prefer the term anti-snipite
skwint
But they'd be ideal for you they have telescopic sights that make small objects appear larger
ApplesdaKitty
Nah just get closer and show them the surprise inside your shotgun.
EyeFarted
There were no survivors.
Lederpin
Boom. Headshot.
PerpetuallyPerplexedPlatypus
gddam savage
cdhunt6282
I sure could use that for my dignity
orbobb
good God man you're on fire.
orbobb
I just assumed your gender.
hamerhead
She has a clear natural beauty you just cannot deny
IDontKnowHowToHuman
Indeed. That's step 1, as they say, but I'm not complaining.
RadicalDud
It's not that natural.
hamerhead
Well apperently not, my heart is broken beyond repair and my dreams slashed to ribbons
donkeymoney
But still probably made-up on the left.
hamerhead
REALLY!?! I AM SO BAD AT THIS!!! I just belive it so easily, why women, why?
donkeymoney
Lol because they go from looking average, to attractive. If you could instantly lose a little fat, gain muscle, and an inch or two,wouldntU?
XeArg
6-pack makeup
hamerhead
I mean who would wish for an extra inch or 2. I've always wanted to be taller
kissmyassets
I want to see what all she has to do just to be able to use the rest room.
suckmybanana
the more complex costumes is a fucking pain. 2/
suckmybanana
Common trick is to go before you put your costume on, and then don't eat drink ANYTHING while you have it on. Trying to get off some of 1/
yapyapblahblahdribbledribbledribble
I'd rather a girl that can play support, or tank, or offensive, or literally anything besides snipers. Offense team doesn't need 3 snipers!!
Glowfishgirl
I'm a warrior tank ftw!
SandpaperCock
no.. you're right, offense team needs five snipers - duly noted.
MvdVeen
And a Gengar. Don't forget the Gengar.
fluffyshoes
I'm a girl and i can't even do either one of that.
Dawnstempest
Not with that attitude you can't.
SynapticWanderer
I don't see why not, though I doubt I'd be able to afford whatever she made the suit out of, so I'd understand that part
DerZauberberg
Ur a girl, thats a skill too much already___LAWL!!!
nelshai
Did she dye her hair or just use a wig? Either way that's pretty amazing.
BachelorGourmet
wig
prestidigination
The things rich kids get up to
BachelorGourmet
HappyNoodleBoy23
Needs more anterior pelvic tilt
Gamemaster64
You don't want one who can do both. She will kill you.
PungentCrotchSweat
http://imgur.com/AIHH1vP
apteryx42
that username tho
MrRight
Widow maker eh? Proceed with caution...
Mizuha112
Personne n'échappe à mon regard
LudeJaw
Nice. ⬆️
IvanReznov
A la vie. A la morte...
MurdockTheHawk
I don't even feel the cold
shodow7
Yeah the one on the right killed her husband so I'm not to psyched to get that one
GeneralBullshit
Don't worry, you'll be eventually
blackguard89
well it wasn't of her own free will from what I recall. But that booty....still would go yelling WOOORTH IIIIIIT!
KingKrown
Wasn't her fault though right?
pakman84
she was programmed to do it.
EverythingIsAFetishForMe
Just don't marry her and you'll be good.
shodow7
Ah okay
madeaweirdcommentchangedmyname
No. You just can't get her pregnant.
BigGeff
http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/150/017/e9f.jpg
Williciousness
What
BigGeff
If you don't know, it's probably for the best.
Williciousness
Oh dear
Reiliana
Odiin46
.
AliBarber
I remember when this was OC a couple hours ago
TimothyGodfrey
you are beautiful without all that garbage you put on.
rthebest
holy shit. she looks accurate as fuck
BrianDeBrain
I'm pretty sure that's just cg. There's no way that's actually the same person. I refuse to believe it.
BachelorGourmet
she posted this as well. /a/J7rSp
ShrubNinja
Oh shit, the exposed bit of her arms are sleeves? That's clever.
IDontKnowHowToHuman
I really like how you reply to so many comments, providing additional info.
BachelorGourmet
Frankly, I'd update the description, but It doesn't seem to update for me a lot of the time.
NomsterTheKatawaCrusader
I fired, and I missed. Then I fired again, and I missed
BachelorGourmet
Then i missed again, then I had a popsicle.
theMagicMustacheOF1996
I got sad, then I passed out.
prosperouscheat
Yeah she can do both
DeusCaritasEst
Oh damn! Is that really her? She makes a damn sexy Jack Sparrow. Wow.
DrBrogbo
I'm... so confused...
beeratius
THIS IS THE TALE -- OF CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW!
Yourfavoritebandsucks1974
Kind of a reverse:
-- for the ladies, amiright?!
wilhelmsen
Perfect...
undercoverles
By the time a lady gets down to the point of finding out that that isn't a dude, it becomes "alright, i'll give this a try" territory...
Odincdaj522004
I've found that flirting with the guys on here is even more fun than flirting with the girls. <.< (2/2)
Odincdaj522004
...this is a frighteningly prophetic username/comment synergy. Also as a straight(ish) guy (1/2)
undercoverles
Ahaha oh jeez, I don't even think about that!
Evercrimson
OH. Now I recognize her!
fadingtheory
Both what?
LargeHoman
Freak in the streets, freaky in the sheets.
WomenSayImAsStimulatingAsElbowSkin
Front and back
Mikeupvotes
Fuck you, and fuck you up.
Schmedes
be attractive and be attractive
metalharvester
Holes
Phenome
Hah
PuckeringButthole
This deserves more upvotes
inthehole
Simultaneously
ChronicD
flparg2
Tmyk
AccidentalPlague
This makes me uncomfortable
rbudrick
Dick and vag.
YlvisPls
Do both you and Widowmaker
RecompostedSapiens
Suck dick, and cosplay
SynapticWanderer
both of those skills can be taught, so get you a girl with the capacity and desire to learn things, then talk her into learning them
jsktrogdor
Normal in the streets, brain-washed French sleeper-agent assassin in the sheets.
HisNameIsDan
Keijo112
I thought she was Russian!?
VikingsAreNinjaPirates
http://overwatch.gamepedia.com/Widowmaker
redpandafox
Dude. Do you even hear her speaking? Her ult is in french!
TheClayKnight
Have you heard a line of her dialogue?
Keijo112
Yeah. I just thought she spoke French to fuck with tracer but was actually Russian. :/
BachelorGourmet
Her name is Amelie LaCroix....
jackocatt
You sir.
proileri
Fake boobs and no boobs.
LiterallyYourMom
Cosplayer and uh, normal human being. Most people have the latter covered I think.
vGHazard
A lady all day, but a freak in cosplay
isthistheirownbrandofsunglasses
Be a scrub and cosplay
BarnabasWizardcock
ATM and VTM
BachelorGourmet
Relaxed casual as well as cold-blooded sniper.
Hoenet
Sooo a normal human being.. who cosplays?!
Gonorrheus
Well, but it's not like she's really doing anything in the first one is it
Coldshade
So basically before and after brainwashed WM...
SirAndrewMaxwellDwyer
I love a girl that can hang out and help me kill bad guys from a long range with firearms.
Schlorgan
Are you okay with her breathing through her skin? Because, if so, I have the girl for you.
ford372
I see what you did there.
fadingtheory
Most murders are caused by loved ones. Why would I voluntarily choose a significant other based on their ability to kill me?
dracomageat
An uncontrollable urge for excitement?
kuhzoo
Because their ability to kill you makes them better as a team-mate when you're playing Overwatch.
Dystakruul
Widowmaker killed her husband tho
patrickRiches
shes also an awful pick in most cases
BachelorGourmet
You're really harshing my mellow here, man.
fadingtheory
That'll teach you to base your mellow on the idea that people will think your comments are funny, or even make sense.
BachelorGourmet
Or, you could try pulling the stick out of your ass.
erischilde
So many here ready to jump down shit. Fucking get what you want man. Met my wife, bonded on wow. She looks super normal, total freak at nite
tep4
she has a youtube, for those wondering
IDontKnowHowToHuman
Excuse me, waiter, there is no sauce on this burger.
tep4
google is a free and useful internet software tool, alowing you to search the internet for content, including names of people.
OscarTGrouch
whats her youtube
creaothceann
a video sharing platform
DarioS
https://www.youtube.com/user/AlysonTabbitha just google her name thats on the pic
cranialpleasure
Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's horrific surgeries and brainwashing to turn her into the perfect assassin...
SarahBeara919
Gunslingergirl?
TwistedAttitudes
"Look at the latest assassin we devel-" Great job jenkins, but aren't people going to notice that she's purple? "...no?"
Pyrowolf1
This sounds like a Cards Against Humanity result
beeratius
Needs more nazi references
DammitIHadSomethingForThis
I tried so hard to make it fit the jingle, but I just can't talk that fast
Odiin46
I can
giggleface37
Maybe it's ass cancer!
Killeronice
Kids with ass cancer
neoritter
See this is what the patriarchy does to girls. Going through all that to fit society's beauty standards.
ImBrutallyHonest
With a sweet ass
boredomboredomboredom
that used to grow when she put down her visor...why was that even a thing
NikWyld
It was an error with the model or something. I don't think they would intentionally give her an inflatable derrière
blairmichod
Models are blended between animations. Her ass was reduced in size but not all models were updated at the same time.
blairmichod
Thus causing the previous geometry to be seen when those models are used, such as during her ult. This has since been corrected.
ernieallday
maybe its maybelline
yarow12
Thank you.
liquidbeef
Yes. That's the joke..
runeking884
ha
[deleted]
[deleted]
TheGuyWhoBeatsHisMeat
même
marionic
Same.
SarcasticComment
Maybe it's main character... Yugiho Abridged Series
Xelea
Shut up Mokuba.
SarcasticComment
Stop or we'll shoot you with our invisible guns
Actualdeadpool
*music plays* who wants to play dungeon dice monsters?
MyNameIsJeffGoldblum
Maybe it's not
CrystalMethamphetameme
Maybe its methamphetameme
HistoricalContext
Dumb question: Widowmaker has a lower core body temperature. Won't that make her stand out on thermal sensors?
ShouTuckersGhost
Opposite. The sensors detect heat, so it's harder for them to pick her up at all
HistoricalContext
I'd think it would depend on what her temperature is. She'd have to be exactly room temp for it to be harder...
Paracelsush
Humans tend to be a lot above room temp. If she doesn't move, a cold spot on thermal looks like an inanimate object!
IllWalkMyselfOut
Patch notes
Azerach
Overwatch gets a halloween event and suddenly user sub is filled with overwatch babes again. Thanks.
redpandafox
Where's that Witch Mercy cosplay?
IDontKnowHowToHuman
Not sure if sarcastic or appreciative...
Azerach
Whynotboth.jif
LordCommanderofUsersub
Where did the boobs come from?
fnordy
I wasn't going to say anything...
Rockageddon
http://www.xclusivetouch.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Real-Boobs-Small-Size-A-Tiny-Problems-Gif-Funny.gif
RavageWolfman
and the man face?
Palfrost
It's common to have fake boobs for cosplay, especially when there's cleavage.
xanthio
I feel so betrayed..
imbettingimnot
From under her hair
VBong
The boob store this magic place where they sell all kinds, colours and sizes. Only flat chested girls and drag queens know where to find it.
WholesomeDucky
"This is why I have trust issues" say a bunch of neckbeard dumbasses looking at a picture of someone who is portraying a FICTIONAL CHARACTER
SirAndrewMaxwellDwyer
Under the shirt.
IDontKnowHowToHuman
Um, girls, did you know...
BachelorGourmet
I just checked to post I got this image from, actually, they're padding.
EnemiesWithBenefits
Same place blue hair, skin, eyes, armor plating, and the rest of the costume came from: ingenuity.
thatusernameisregistered
Probably from her mom and dad. Or a very rich lonely guy, I don't judge.
SuicideByAccountant
Makeup
GettinSprucy
LockedForGood
Contouring makeup, boob tape, and more makeup
eazolan
Where did the HIPS come from? First picture is a stickgirl.
blipsandchitzandsins
Under your mom's chest hair
nathandc
Looks like one of those tit curtain shirts
TryingNotToComment
Where did boobs go
mineisanevillaugh
Where did they come from, Cotton Eye Joe?
Tackyellow
Cotton Boob*
MetroidPrimeHesTheBest
I actually suspected it might be something like this.
Stumpyz
SpecialContainmentProcedures
Thats exactly what I always imagined cotton-eye joe would look like.
LegitOldSchool
I thought the exact same thing
Stuebydoo
Papier maché
Jonnymarre
Heaven.
HD2composer
iuploadbearpics
It's prosthetics. She's not buxom but the padding pushes up what little there is. Done many times in the business.
Virtuoso
But that's not what buxom means...
GreenAce92
What little there is, hope the hips are real at least, I'm a bottom-up kinda guy hehe, nothing at the top, lot at the bottom
ChainsawHandsJoe
Christ, you're one of those creeps who think cosplay is consent.
GreenAce92
Yeap just beating it till it bleeds
iuploadbearpics
Her thigh hip area is padded too.
GreenAce92
Damn, spanx
GreenAce92
Still I'd prefer petite over thick any day
purpleseadragons
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-517780/The-secret-flat-chested-Keira-buxom-pirate-girl.html
NGC5189
That's contouring, and now it's back and anyone can do it.
HD2composer
damn 22 years old back in 2008, good article btw, thanks +1
cominginhot
lies
Gehennan
A loose t-shirt can hide many secrets.
GreenAce92
Life opens many doors ed boy
bekreider
Not that many secrets
doedfisk
I don't think it was the number that was confusing.
calvinblanes
Thanks commander for reading our minds
BachelorGourmet
WhoUhz
http://www.reactiongifs.us/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/throne_of_lies_elf.gif
anonymoose6
HighwayStar
Clever girl.
Efrendo
Sintelacis
Very clever, and the result looks great!
bythezu
Why all the "trust issues"? It's a good way to cover them tiddies and they're that size. Sports bras/cotton bras make em look smaller
TheGreatWhiteWolf
The cake (boobs) is a lie. This is why I have trust issues. And the dark magic that is makeup. Some women can work miracles with the stuff.
TheBentPianist
Well that's the saddest thing I've seen all week.
InformalProof
You're perfect just the way you are, tho
Overkillmaster
This is why I have trust issues
Misora
Holy crap do they sell those or do I need to make my own?!
BachelorGourmet
she made her own. I imagine you could find her on facebook and ask.
smsilverwolf
Commenting for later
ThatAintRightItsAllLeft
Blasphemy!
AlexanderFieldisnotmyrealname
I have a similar system to make my crotch look larger..
android419
Well still good cosplay regardless.
TitaTitanium
"regardless"
BachelorGourmet
very good.
NevaNude
Extremely good
mechanimated
I find it ironic how popular backhanded compliments about cosplays being good because they don't have tits are, but then so is this /1
mechanimated
backhanded compliment about it being good even though the tits aren't real. /2
IDontKnowHowToHuman
I gotta be honest, that's pretty cool!
BumbleBeeBeardedGingerBear
ingenious!
Melber
Honestly you're lucky to have the issue, much easier to add something than take it away. Allows you to have more range when cos playing.
brainplay
There are very few people who complain if that "range" is too big. And none of them actually cosplay.
Honeymoonmoon
But they still exist and do in fact cosplay.
GTPTB
https://imgur.com/zwU2glG
IDontKnowHowToHuman
iDrinkDrano
http://www.reactiongifs.us/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/not_even_mad.gif
TitaTitanium
why would you be
FsImgur
What else ya got hidin in that outfit?
MellowNando
imagurk
About tree fiddy.
AsaCanadianIagreeandIamsorry
Jeffgoldblumthereitis.gif
BachelorGourmet
it's literally right below your comment at the time of me saying this. You could have just copy and pasted.
AsaCanadianIagreeandIamsorry
Sorry and here I thought I was being funny....apparently not.
WhoMe616
Everything is a LIE!!!
Rockageddon
wellll, the first pic does look like a 14 yr old underfed boy with a makeover.
daniic233
gmaverick019
Always forget their is a gif version out there that is creepy as shit
TheScarfyDoctor
There is, and it's creepy as shit
ThisMayBeMyLastPost
Even cake
Msladyluck
Especially cake
nortotron
NOT CAKE!!
krygonetic
sylvanasismyqueen
seems like a good way to protect from a nip slip anyway
xanthio
From what I understand there are some folks that use such prosthesis for just that reason.
Kazzack
Unless you draw nipples on
AWolfWithShades
And suddenly she's a lot less attractive. Oh well, good costume regardless
whosaidjehovah
Real classy
AWolfWithShades
I'm anything but classy, mate. At least I'm upfront about it.
xxlittlemissxx
I bet you're a looker yourself.
AWolfWithShades
I can make a mirror blow up like a nuke cause I'm that fucking ugly, but I'm not the one that wears make up and fake bulges, so... Yay me?
[deleted]
[deleted]
TacoCorporationRepresentative
Come on man.
ACslater88
I just want a girl..
Markollo
Same
CuriousCoconut
I just want both...but is that being too greedy?
AsstohatKalishnikunt
but you need to get one that can do both.
SonOfChicken
Well you can't have one
TreadstoneJB
. http://images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/24400000/The-Silence-of-the-Lambs-Fanart-the-silence-of-the-lambs-24452862-500-268.gif
DiceyBusiness
You and 5,958 others.
HaveGinWillBabble
There's a lot of ladies in the world. This day 'n age, they tend to let you know fairly quick if they're taken. Most young women seem to 1/2
HaveGinWillBabble
Not like being single too. Hope that helps. 2/2
shoulkion
I hear they're pretty cheap in Thailand
EveryonesRaping
no you don't. you want a hot girl. fuglies are a dime a dozen.
ICanChangeMyUsernameWheneverIWantButIDontBecauseIAmGodDamnLazy
Cheer up. VR is around the corner for the common man. We no longer shall feel lonely when we're with our virtual wives.
TheAltAccount
The only downside to VR is how easy it would be to get caught jerkin' the gherkin. I'm sure many teenagers in the 2020's will get busted...
TheGirafe
Isn't that what the bathroom is for? And/Or locks on the door
TheAltAccount
Sure, but who takes a VR headset to the bathroom? That's just double suspicious. Locks, yeah, point taken.
ThisNumberHasAName
I'm really appreciating how this statement is popular enough to become one of the top comments of the day.
legendguitar
I just want a girl? Dot dot dot? 600 upvotes? That's it, I'm out of here.
darkunited
best i can do is a potato
MrMineHeads
2meirl4meirl
definitelynotatimetraveler
who reads! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmEbF2uhsZk
MC5Tonne
I will send you prayers lol
orangeisthenewbasic
Have you tried grabbing her by the pussy?
HaveGinWillBabble
Rofl
ElGordoFreeman
You need one alive? Because is easier the other way...
tigerjohn
Eewww.
nukethelizards
With a mind like a diamond
zlRebel
I want her
strangevisions
Lol!
phunkshun
They're around. You need to try.
sexyGandalf12
I just want someone to talk to me
justjewit911
Yeah, same here, until someone talks to me, then I just want them to stop.
TheWayADrillWorks
Do you look fly, you fools?
LockedForGood
I saw your comment above and I like you...but this comment made me love you. +2 from me, friend
TheWayADrillWorks
Thanks! It's good to be loved I guess?
gingerrito
Toqueman
Well. You've won me over
Winterous
u r a q t
APersonWhoUsesImgur
gingerrito
APersonWhoUsesImgur
MyFokinEyesHurt
why u gotta make me sad
AdultArtMarmar
sup
ACslater88
AdultArtMarmar
ACslater88
AdultArtMarmar
I'm all outta eyebrow wiggle gifs :|
duckhostage
Or do you want a lady? woah oo woah ooh woah
cdhunt6282
I need a girl that's a lady in the streets, a freak in the sheets, and a cory in the house
FastestBearAlive
Cory in the house is my favorite anime
cdhunt6282
I wish I could be a busta like senpai
duckhostage
From the window to the wall?
Bladedrummer
#foreveralone :(
HaveGinWillBabble
Wonk wunk.
imrizzy
i want a boy... #foreveralone
dopamine14
D'awww..
Bladedrummer
I see a potential meeting of interests there.
heatmaster28
Legitimate question: Does anything happen to your inbox?
imrizzy
Nope (that's not an invitation for anything tho. I like the peaceful life)
ACslater88
Prepare your inbox.
imrizzy
aw sht
TeeMee123
now kiss!
Gr8GoogleyMoogley
Notyourexboyfriend
I'm a boy...
cryborg
thentheykithed.gif
hiredhobbs
btimup
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BuuiBjL09KY
malfunctionm1ke
IKR?
SarcasticComment
Mine is drunk and asleep on the couch. It's 9:35 pm, but she bought me a cookie cake which is nice. Bad day at work
amyandkeekers
Aww.. Hugs! <3
[deleted]
[deleted]
ACslater88
Kusillo
Is there anybody going to listen to my story
TheWayADrillWorks
Sure why not?
Kusillo
All about the girl who came to stay?
Astarael1
I have a girl that cosplays. It's wonderful.
CrazyCatNurse
I'm a girl
idothingshere
Me too, but I prefer the company of other ladies :)
RyanBall1
RIP your inbox.
cryborg
Amen
Thedailywumbo
Here's to that
justyourfriendlyneighborhoodimgurian
With a short skirt and looooooooong jacket.
paistykakes
Damn... didn't see it. Beat me to it. +1
XeArg
Oh, thank you very much. Totally forgot about this song. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7aDstrDMf0 One of the favourites
lcreppel
I want her paler than the moon, with eyes that shine like stars.
heyheynaynay
How bout a girl who's got a brain and always speaks her mind?
ThatSquirrelInTheCorner
...nah.
lcreppel
My manly was are sure to thrill her
AsstohatKalishnikunt
wut, waz dat all? oh der it goez...
PrinceMaggot
Saw youre at 0 points, take my +100
boisterouslamb
NewToTheEnterwbs
I want a girl with a mind like a diamond I want a girl who knows what's best
DrFunkenstein57
I want a girl with shoes that cut and eyes that burn like cigarettes
LeonRoland
I want a girl with the right allocations
aarhusianer
(Right allocations)
bigearsmcgee
Who's fast, and thorough, and sharp as a tack.
Icra
I just want to be alone.
TheTruthHurts21
You make me so happy. I didnt know cake was so big.
HankyDaddy
I mean, chuck was pretty big
SilentHowling
Have standards, standards are attractive & care about your appearance, not crazily just slowly work on yourself. The rest will follow.
ElecTech
*There is no guarantee the rest will follow.
SilentHowling
The rest is better self esteem & better chances. No guarantees in life. Tomorrow isn't promised today.
otapioka
Hello, I'm taking resumes for the position of boyfriend, if you're interested.
v3rmilion
What does a boyfriend resume look like? I... have a friend looking to apply
otapioka
It looks like a normal resume, just with boyfriend stuff. I need to see what makes you a good candidate, and a bit about who you are.
Insomnia297
I bet you're not lonely now
otapioka
Hahahah! That does help!
GodzillaHarddiskson
Do you get some limited access to the cat socks?
otapioka
Those were a gift from a fellow Imgurian for the last Secret Santa! They are very adorable. Also, I'm using the blanket she gave me rn.
GodzillaHarddiskson
So is that a yes? I can't send an application without knowing the benefits
MagnustheJust
Preliminary query - what are you looking for, age height, job??
otapioka
A deep and wonderful mind.
DarthSpongebob
.
otapioka
Hi.
DarthSpongebob
man i didn't even see this, hi :D
LeSethX
I made a pro-feminist post on Facebook the other day that has lot of likes, if that counts towards a resumé. And I live near San Francisco
otapioka
I'm sorry, but I'm afraid you don't seem to be the candidate for this position. Good luck with your future ventures.
yoandhello
Are you meow?
otapioka
I am meow right meow.
yoandhello
Like, seriously meow? I might type one up.
theHammerklau
Does making an alright stew count as experience?
otapioka
It's a good start.
theHammerklau
Worst part is when you cook consistantly for flatmates, and then they're like 'oh nah im not hungry, will have it for lunch' FF wasted hours
otapioka
What kind of stew?
theHammerklau
Slow cooked with Lamb, fresh veges, potatoes, but I like adding a good amount of chilli. Hardest part is to balance the consitency though.
otapioka
Dude where do you live I love lamb
ACslater88
Do you want PMs, because that's how you get PMs..
tigerjohn
I saw that as PMS and thought "WTF?"
otapioka
Joke's on him. I already have PMS.
otapioka
I'm lonely.
Winterous
Do you live in Victoria, Australia?
otapioka
No.
SomethingSomethingPraiseTheSun
You had me at cat socks
otapioka
Aha! And a Dark Souls fan. I recently started playing Dark Souls 3 and was quite enjoying it.
TheWayADrillWorks
Hi lonely, I'm TheWayADrillWorks
otapioka
No you are dad.
legacyweaver
Oh goodness your poor inbox...
otapioka
Everyone has been lovely and polite, thank you.
AlucardsJojoReference
I would apply, but I am weird...also I don't know you.
Fuckweasel
The weird ones are the best ones.
otapioka
Bless you.
otapioka
I am strange. What a wonderful coincidence.
AlucardsJojoReference
Well, the cat socks are cute in any case.
otapioka
Haha! Thank you! They were actually a gift from another Imgurian, from the last Secret Santa.
sneef
I just want a grill, I have all this Meat and nothing to cook it with :(
GlennBecksChalkboard
I only have a little meat, but wouldn't mind a grill either.
sneef
Ok so there seems to be a misunderstanding, I legitimately want a grill because I prefer it to oven and stove top.
fragtore
Word. I have a girl, now I want a grill :( no balcony and no bbq allowed in park nearby, stupid Germany...
ILikeCockyEngineersAndICannotLie
Hi I'm a premium grill, as hot and steamy a small they come!
DickWhiskers
I know a grill named george foreskin
HawaiianWithExtraPineapples
Klingon00
Just grill things
TrimBlood
I prefer the oven.. i dont need a girl
HaveGinWillBabble
Found the girl.
GuybrushThreepwood2013
I just want a gill, I live underwater but have to keep surfacing for air :(
donkeymoney
Get a cast-iron skillet! Cook with any heat source except the microwave!
donkeymoney
Results are like the grill, but youre indoors
Behindthestoner
I have a grill, but no meat to cook on it.
ItsJustMeDave
Now kith....
DickWhiskers
I have meat but no cock to put in it
EmilyDrexelLelaKaldwin
I have a grill but no meat to beat. Wait what
Conman66
There's a grill and meat but no me to cook it
poets
Are you female? If not I think you just said you don't have a penis. If I've followed the euphemisms correctly, that is.
Behindthestoner
I understood what he said just fine, but I actually meant I have a grill with no meat.
sneef
No i really meant I need a grill, my family buys lots of meats but using the stove top or oven isn't as delicious.
tehzpoon
Don't settle. It sucks for both of you eventually. Sex stops, resentment grows... better to be alone than be stuck in a compromise forever.
HaveGinWillBabble
Who said forever? This isn't the 1950s.
OverpricedCrayon
I settled once. Quickly found myself not even physically attracted to her. It was agonizing and only lasted 3 months. We're good friends now
killinitinusersub
As some who's been on both sides of the equation, being alone is worse.
HaveGinWillBabble
It's a beautiful thing to have somebody to love.
squidvagina
Either you had shitty relationships or you just haven't had a girlfriend ever.
MyFokinEyesHurt
its not about sex,its about loving someone that loves you back.
tehzpoon
Alright, well, just find someone else who doesn't want sex.
HaveGinWillBabble
Sex is a fun thing to do though!
Equinox13
Is that an application for the position of someone's significant other? Because it's a dang good one.
RyanBall1
Yeah, but who would ever love the fat piece of shit that is me.
tehzpoon
There are, literally, thousands who would love you. And there are a lot of them who would be into you sexually. I'm sorry you're not happy.
RyanBall1
Meh, it's alright. I know what a loser I am, I know no one will ever like me. I just have to try make peace with that.
SerLaughalot
I don't believe in love existing without good sex. They come as a pair or not at all, maybe some people can kid themselves past that but not
SerLaughalot
me (2/2)
tigerjohn
But but but... friend zone? That's real, right?
HaveGinWillBabble
I disagree completely. For the longest time people would wait until marriage.
SerLaughalot
And how many of those relationships ended up healthy...
Zombieshark
And got married asap so they could fuck
Subjectiveopinion
What he said.
TimBus
Likely, that's what she said.
diablodeldragoon
Love is easier when the sex is good!
SeventhDurandal
And good sex is easier when you're in love ;)
potitipo
What I was about to reply.
ABillionDucks
Is it really settling when you're a 0?
BreadInCaptivityBakery
There's always someone out there that thinks that you're a 10. Never sell yourself short
RyanBall1
Clearly you've never meet me.
Faukez
Yeah right
Noumenon72
Ever see that OKCupid graph of how often people respond to people at the bottom of the attractiveness scale?
HaveGinWillBabble
No one is a fucking zero.
Equinox13
Not even I'm a zero. When I look in the mirror I see a solid -6 staring back.
parkincars
I know some 0's.
RyanBall1
I have a name jackass.
ABillionDucks
I guess I'm no one.
HaveGinWillBabble
Less qq more pew pew