osprex
91181
3591
253
Mar 14, 2016 1:21 PM
osprex
91181
3591
253
thisistheinternetimheretotellliesandarguewithstrangers
Dot not even read it and I know it`s stupid.
shawnemack
Yeah but with those boots? Nah
crazyPilot
Hell yeah, my sister likes me!
unrealbadassme
#32 she calls you when your wife is sleeping
PleasantPheasantPhucker
She says she likes you after you fucking ask her out!
abbreviated
Why would anyone tell jokes without thinking they're funny?
Endevin
This just confirmed that none of the girls I know are interested in me.
neamtu
same here:)) .. or sad face? dunno
UsedCarSalesman
I'll sum this up for you lazy folk 1.Eye contact 2.arm grabs 3. Mirrored body language
Ninja112595000
Thank you.
happyjaypee
#30. It really bothers me that the male (♂) and female (♀) symbols are inverted...
sreav
Oh my... How many guys will think I like them just because I asked their name when I'm out?
homegirl
right?! *eye roll*
dunderdan
Number 11.
homegirl
but it worked
Spearka
pff, you could hold a f*ck me sign and I'd assume you're referring to someone behind me or something else
0Cthulhu0
She avoids mentioning her boyfriend???? Wtf???
dustinothegreat
If she doesn't call the police when you follow her around
wittyandcharmingnamenoonehasthoughtofyet
I was solid on this until #25, what the heck.
proracing53
Well now I know that every woman I've ever liked has never felt the same, so thanks for that.
highevolutionary
#32. She asks me to feel her boobs.
MarioBoon
Only when you're gay.
Vectorman2
#33. She apologizes for breaking into your house to watch you sleep.
theboatsong
She applies the lotion
Sciencefriction13
Or else it gets the hose again.
PlutosBeard
If she asks for the hose...
secretoaster
#1. She tells you, because she's not some game playing teenager.
DearJeezus
#2. You wake up, because they're all games playing teenagers.
secretoaster
#3. Get a divorce, then get a dog and live happily ever after.
ObamasBigBlackCaucus
#30 If the girl says no then the answer obviously is no. But she's not gonna say no; she would never say no because of the implication.
AB23Awesome
I fucking love this ^
globogym1988
I feel like you keep using that word a lot. Implication
ObamasBigBlackCaucus
Well don't you look at me like that; you certainly wouldn't be in any danger.
globogym1988
SO THEY ARE IM DANGER!!
jellis45
Funny, this all happens to me, then says "you're like a brother to me" . Girls are weird.
tanadarko
Here's the thing. Women have no idea what they're doing anymore than men.
rezpawner
25 kinda fucks it all up though, no?
Acrid89
After I have sex with my wife I'm still not sure if she's into me
ImUglyIRL
Even if number 30 were to happen to me, I'd still question whether they like me or not.
JaysPineapples
wasn't expecting that last bit +1
VictusUnus
I was expecting it to take a turn midway through, were the signs are like "if she sacrifices you to Old Gods"
Rawraga
I was like "Not this again" but notice the bottom.
spooglecraft
Took me a while to find it.
omelly
I never herd the word "rapport" I must live under a rock
rophiandis
Me neither. To be fair though, there are very few words that I do herd
omelly
http://www.quickmeme.com/img/ee/ee2726990488f6969fe855ae675467fbe2b4f4db25e3861ac2d6ed1376869546.jpg
HardAsARockMainline
Indeed
IncognitoPanda
You haven't heard the word "heard" either, I see.
omelly
my selfe http://replygif.net/thumbnail/925.gif
deGoodMan
You should read more.
omelly
Love to but work and imgur got me on lockdown
ShowMeYourButtonhole
Gangster rapport
RawrLouder
Perhaps you have. It's propounded without the 't' sound because the English language took it from the French.
ThatsMySecretCapImAlwaysHorny
I would propound that a spellchecker added the T
MissSpaceFace
But what does it mean?
OlafForkbeard
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rapport - Basically it's the subtleties of language that build trust. There is some pretty in depth stuff 1/2
MissSpaceFace
Thanks man :)
OlafForkbeard
on body language specifically. You should be able to "feel" it when someone is trying. Think car salesman.
deGoodMan
Rant?
RawrLouder
A close and harmonious relationship in which the people or groups concerned understand each other's feelings or ideas and communicate well.
RawrLouder
Basically "good credit"
MissSpaceFace
Thank you :)
Thesalmoncrestedcockatoo
Am I the only one concerned with #30?
curiouscorruption
YUHUUU!
ObamasBigBlackCaucus
She could say no, but she won't say no, because of the implications.
brassmonkeys
"she doesn't resist when you start jabbing her with your shit" ...sounds like the first line of a really shitty rape defense line.
Squossifrage
No... I was 100% on board (expecting a punch line about the guy being completely clueless) until “does not resist”.
Squossifrage
Lost in translation, perhaps? The source is an Italian website. Although, at first glance, said website is pretty creepy too.
GrimDarkRealities
I would like a link, as a creepy Italian cite sounds hilarious.
Squossifrage
It's right there at the bottom of the picture.
GrimDarkRealities
Thanks, I missed that.
THEfreshestbrew
Damn. My fiance does none of those
GrimDarkRealities
Maybe she is shy, and you need to ask if her settlements need any help?
Ialwaysdownvotereposts
Clearly you need her to help more settlements before moving this thing forward.
The4thKindOfPerson
These are signs of attraction but the lack of them is not a sign of unattraction. Besides, awkwardness should become comfort and trust.
UseTheSource
Abort! Abort!
Toaster2403
Clearly she does not like you and your relationship is a lie.
Eggtothenog
Holy.
IllusivePanda
It's true I read the infographic and I'm now an expert feminologist
drosophilamelanogaster
I get the feeling this as a science would make theoretical physics make sense.
HateClub
Did he mentioned her boyfriend ?
thedevil
My best friends fiancé just broke things off out of nowhere. Be careful man. Girls are cold evil creatures.
catsaregood
jeeeeez way to write off a whole gender
thedevil
Well it happened to me awhile back as well. Twice.
GrimDarkRealities
2/ 4 billion. You math assumption seems pretty legit to me.
MangoLass
Well, you are the devil so it's not that weird really
catsaregood
lol.
cuteandcuddly
"She avoids mentioning her boyfriend"
bumholiday
Well, it's true though! I mean, that's what happens when they have a boyfriend... And exist... I think
sinascendant
The point is that she already has a boyfriend...
AwkwardGirl4691
Right? I was wondering about that lol
mozrael
Would make more sense if it said "mentioning A boyfriend."
TheBlueMuppet
It still makes just as much sense as it is, it just means you're getting a used one.
mozrael
Not what I was going for. 'her boyfriend' implies she's gonna cheat. 'a boyfriend' means she's single.
TheBlueMuppet
I know, its just funnier my way.
mozrael
it's*, you walnut
LeonKennedy6
Why does this get downvotes
GrimDarkRealities
Referring to people as 'used' rather than 'taken' seems a bit sexist. Not certain if it is that way, as long as you view men the same I 1/2
GrimDarkRealities
say your fine. 2/2
Darkcrystalc
That one stood out to me as well...
Freytis
True story: smoking weed with a girl i just met at college. her: "weed gets me horny" me: "thats crazy".
EMPIsMySuperPower
#31 definitely works
gbombuh
So many people missed this... The whole post is a fallout joke and everyone in the comments is dissecting the first 30 points
mastoor
I wouldn't have seen this
NoHomoRomo
Is Preston Garvey the new Cera?
PrestoneGarvey
Depends, are you actually helping these settlements or not?
PrestoneGarvey
Always....speaking of which...
IcelandicDodger
Go....away....
PrestoneGarvey
Never
IcelandicDodger
No....