Joxtar
36665
835
49
In the US, health workers have started posting videos asking people to use Christmas tree decorations only for their intended purpose.
According to statistics, the number of cases of “accidental” Christmas tree decorations getting into the anus increases significantly during Christmas and New Year.
DontLookBackInAnger
Give yourself the gift of self-love! Buy something specifically designed to go in your butt.
RenaldoMooon
Nice ink!
cryborg
KarmaRaven23
Is this another one of those “puritan values prevent buying a proper sexual toy” things?
JarJarBinksKisser
kimst
My body, my rules, and also my gigant monster christmas candle.
EatPieLander
CaldariBob
More from Buzz Killington and his sidekick Lady Killjoy...
myotherusernameisalreadytaken
billymaditsdone
streisand effect
EatPieLander
nimeton0
SeeShark
I feel like it should be the other way around. Bugs is definitely the freaky one of the two of them.
3rdoption
Well then what am I supposed to use?! Help me out here!
reverendbonobo
ChaoticGoofy
Here I thought this was a proper Christmas
AzraelWalker
Thats what good mac and cheese sounds like!
vampire49
I worked in a hospital in a city that also had a prison. I have seen some ... aahh ... disturbing x-rays.
Hmuda
idownvoteplottwist
is that the cock building in barcelona
Hmuda
No, it's the "Gherkin" in London. The one in Barcelona has more of a dildo shape. :)
fiddlewheelx
Paige will be agitated by this
WickedSludge
You're telling me that if I "misuse" a Christmas ornament I get to meet a hot EMS chick like it's a bad thing.
LootenetDan
Not if you have a humiliation fetish
tarataqa
dogfavoriter
From the Department of Obvious Statistics. Next you're gonna tell us that "accidental" insertions of plastic easter eggs inexplicably spike around Easter time.
IgnisInvictus
How drunk do you have to be to think that's a good idea?
TheOGPooner
Drunk? Any Friday night… just happens to be Xmas…
CrisprCAS
A full bottle of Christmas spirit.
3rdoption
I'll take that challenge!
MrBismarck
nojustsayitdont
The extra spike looks...lethal.
cancelmorningsforever
Is she considering it?
CanIGetSomeExtraSalt
MadHatter69
Bite the pillow, I'm coming in dry
EccentricNut
?
Nathanyel
Some kegel exercises and it'll fit.
EdelwoodHikes
Oh, the memories. That piece was destroyed by vandals with no sense of humour.
SeeShark
Paige, no!
SomewhatSarcastic
I post about my holidays working the ER and every year there are a few with Christmas themed "toys" up there. This is my first holiday in 25 years that I won't be working, so in a way I'm kinda gonna miss seeing this year's haul.
TyrannusEquus
I work in the dispatch center. We didn't have any fryer started turkey fires. So I'm hoping that means we get more "something up somewhere of mine" calls. Ho Ho Ho!
TalleyZorah
“This year’s haul” gave me a face I can’t quite describe…. like the Venn diagram of laughter, pain, and horror.
TheOGPooner
Mine was a Venn diagram of chuckle, laugh, I can’t breath
WhitePoetWarlord
nojustsayitdont
One in a million shot.
darthstormer
losersmanual
Copy someone's original idea, have bigger tits, profit.
ScrippyChan
I fucking love this guy.
JohnWickdidnothingwrong
EMTDaddysaysno.gif
PervertedTango
Deathcameawienering
That man is beautiful and I'm so very strait
Punkereaux
Oh Badge502, I can’t wait to disappoint you 🤣
kmikl
No need to wait, you already do.
LordNoKids
I ship these two
J3lek
malachilenomade
There it is! I was looking for that one recently.
TheChunguskaEvent
christmas comes butt once a year
MrSnuffleupagus172
Cheeky comment right there…
j5y45x4sdc6
Spiritsue
‘cums butt’
I’m very drunk posting this fucking stupid comment
hybridgorilla3131
unless your james bond...
GreyKnightTemplar666
ElbowDeepInTheElbowDeepBandwagon
Butt Christmas comes once per year.
Tigersterne
With that attitude yes
PaintedSlate
Mullensandtheoctopus
PAIGE
PaintedSlate
scuba7jb
I'll be safe.... but I did get a new fence-post driving machine that I'm really excited to try out!!!!
freakdiablo
amp99
ChazzK
I... i feel like this isn't doing the job it's supposed to be doing. I'm assuming compacting and/or levelling the ground?
amp99
Yeah, they're designed to deliver a good pounding.
usernametakenisthestoryofmylife
Oooo,ooo, the Post-3000X? Do tell...