praetorian97
143789
2960
115
May 18, 2017 4:36 PM
praetorian97
143789
2960
115
migi9109
HA! Wait until your SO graduates and starts working. Then all they will do is sleep. Source: I am a nurse.
88wut
"every time I see her, she weighs me and checks my height."
piscesdreamer
Everyone knows that if you want KINKY you marry a teacher. Hi wife.
sociallyparanoidadultchild
as a nursing student your entire brain is consumed with assessing & interpreting symptoms. my SO deals by helping me study anatomy ;)
Saelael
Married to a nurse. Her bedside manner is amazing...except for me.
mattpunkd
There was a kid in my high school Spanish class who confessed he had a nurse fetish during his presentation.
buckleyisgod
Used to date a paediatric nurse. Not a single sexy thing about that job
myinnerrage
Dated a nurse for a month. Turned into an IV test dummy :(
BloodyTanookiSuit
But the dinner time stories are fantastic. "So we had to perform an emergency craniectomy today on some guy that fell off a roof."
BloodyTanookiSuit
^Actual quote from my ED nurse friend, btw.
Affray
A buddy dated a nurse and all she talked about was asshole patients and how she will never do anal sex because she sees what it does to you.
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
Who would think that someone wants to do sexy roleplay about their job??? Especially a job that in real life is as gross as nursing can be.
NotTodayNotYesterday
It's the prime reason why porn does not equate with reality. OP should take note of that
hkim1326
The guy just has to act like he has a co diction where the boner never goes away and the "nurse" is supposed to give a manual treatment
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
I get it, but I would still never want to roleplay my actual job.
topdollar38
You mean I shouldn't do a sexy engineer roleplay?? Maybe modeling the physics of bedroom activities isn't as hot as it sounds.
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
Engineer here too, and yeah it would be super weird to me to do some kind of engineering roleplay. I don't want any part of my job to /1
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
remind me of sexytimes and vice versa. Those are two completely different areas of my life and I'm not interested in overlapping them. /2
aesthesia1
Why would you have that expectation? that's completely illogical. There's no connection from nursing studies to kinkiness.
aesthesia1
I mean, do you honestly just think u live in a porn or something?
jofo97
You're doing it wrong. You should play the horny doctor, not the patient.
barbwirelove
so you rolled a nat 1 basically
millicentfrastley
I dated a nurse back in the day. I ended up being a practice patient for phlebotomy training :(
IHaveNightmaresOfMidgetsThrowingPicklesAtMe
Bump that biscuit ! I'd be out
millicentfrastley
Ah the things we do for love/lust/desperation :)
hkim1326
She should've practiced drawing blood from your penis
AwesomeName
Also: do you know about the health risks of oral?
Drunktinyoctupuswantstofight
It's true, the rate of squamous cell carcinoma of the head and neck (mostly throat) is climbing due to the "changes in sexual practices" 1/2
Drunktinyoctupuswantstofight
*ahem* otherwise known as oral + the hpv virus. Get your Gardisil vaccine kiddies
knotjoking88
I can confirm that nurses are kinky as hell. They are my bread and butter. And they are awesome human beings.
scaredshirtless
Remember, stretching properly before any vigorous exercise can help lessen the risk of injury.
KjTheLightning
always take your prenscribed doese of antibioticseven if you're feeling.
Odentay
Actually thats incorrect, stretching after warming up helps reduce injusy. But just cold stretching actually increasss injury risk
HideyoWifeHideyoKids
You should not static stretch before activity. Dynamic stretching is much better
LonelyBrannigan
Idk about most people, but I don't think work is often very erotic
Somanyquestions
She works as a nurse, that's probably the last thing she wants to roleplay!
therocksfannypack
As a nurse, I can tell you this is true.
IHaveNightmaresOfMidgetsThrowingPicklesAtMe
I married a nurse... welcome to my life. And a whole lot of complaining about people
PLX695Dude
Yes, and reminding you to bend at the knees!
bobdawg
Tell it, brother!
serpentinebaboo
Don't forget the gross out stories. It's like they want to brag about how disgusting their day was. They mask it as complaining though.
PascalCasedUserName
Me too, but mine was in the army. She takes care of it, but no lectures.
WhichIsIt
And they feel the need to fix/take care of everyone.
Kennytarmac
https://youtu.be/CJXejD_FEXs
ATM87
My wife isn't even a nurse and she complains about people from her job.
IHaveNightmaresOfMidgetsThrowingPicklesAtMe
We will allow that... welcome to the club
Totallynotmyrealname
so much complaining about people.
IHaveNightmaresOfMidgetsThrowingPicklesAtMe
Amen brother !
d1d1t4t3hlulz0hl4wdy
I lived with 2 nurses... Lots of twitching stories, and my reaction to almost all of them was "WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT?!"
PhunsukhWangdu
Serious question, what's it like being married to someone who (I assume) works very long hours?
Mack1986
You get a work wife
TheDrunkenWrench
She works 12 hour days, but never more than 3 days in a row before getting either 2 or 3 days off. Longer days, but more days off.
LuckyDan
Yep, same deal with my wife. Kind of handy if we know about stuff in advance for scheduling.
TheDrunkenWrench
It will be one day, I'm stuck working nights with sunday/monday night off for the time being
iamthisguy247
Depends how you perceive it. On one hand less time with them, and they'll often be exhausted after work, and even their first day off. But>
iamthisguy247
The other side is that you get more of your own time, which can be nice too. Toughest can be them working weekends. Or if parenting>
iamthisguy247
PhunsukhWangdu
Hmm interesting, just wanted to get an opinion from someone who's actually experienced it. Thanks!
IHaveNightmaresOfMidgetsThrowingPicklesAtMe
Nailed it ! All 100% true. It is hard at times, and eventually they start treating you like a patient, but i stopped that shit quick
boBvIlarUles
Agreed. Constant reprimanding for "not taking better care of myself"
Wetouchingbuttsornah
Ever get your veins touched inappropriately?
Drunktinyoctupuswantstofight
Haha that's a very medical thing to do- I call it vein lust. When you find the perfect vein to put a cannula in and long to pierce it.
Drunktinyoctupuswantstofight
That's cause people suck
Mandalor
So I need to date a nursing student is what I'm hearing
praetorian97
Cheaper than getting Health Insurance..... I think.
Itcanbedone
Oh poor you dating someone smart enough to take care of people...
HelloMyNamesInigoMontoya
Did she at least warm up by taking notes on your most up to date medical history?
topdollar38
SOAP notes are so hot right now
toastedtri
Can confirm.
polyplacophora
Shut up, you love me.
toastedtri
Are you a nursing student willing to engage in kinky roleplay?
polyplacophora
Only if it involves DRE in the lithotomy position.
toastedtri
Tell me more, *unzips*
toastedtri
If so, I definitely do love you kind internet stranger!
Raxiel
Did it also include her waking you up every few hours to check your BP & pulse?
ourari
Hospital staff: Sleep is good for you, get lots. Also hospital staff: Just fell asleep? Let me wake you up to check bp/pulse/temp.
somenerandom
So basically- sleep is good, but it's better I make sure you're still alive and planning to stay that way. Sounds logical to me
ourari
Yeah, me too. Just trying to make a joke out of it.
imalreadytriggered
Biggest perk about being with a nurse is you can do a ton of gross shit around them and they won't even bat an eye
TheDrunkenWrench
Exactly! Bodily functions do not phase them even slightly.
ThatSoundPeopleMakeWhenTheyStandUp
I never thought of it that way. That's a pretty nice perk.
affablebowelsyndrome
Op wanted temperature taken rectally .
singingotter
praetorian97
HAHA!
FloppyFingers
Easy; dress up as a doctor and use your authority.
circlebreaker
"I've got a prescription for 12 inches of Vitamin D." -OP probably
WhiteyandtheFullEffect
wotemer
hospital doctor. authority. ahahahahah. you watched too many bad series.
czme
Sounds like a good way to get stabbed
theshinobi23
jsktrogdor
If scrubs taught me one thing, it's that nurses think doctors are retarded and doctors think nurses are retarded.
wotemer
actually, in about every other Episode, carla rescues the lads butts...
TrijezniMujo
Being a bioengineer has taught me that nurses should be held faaaaar away from any needles.
IHaveNightmaresOfMidgetsThrowingPicklesAtMe
Exactly ! And being in IT I know both are retarded !
Shultspoo
Amen brotherman
dannymac63
Ain't that the truth. Fellow IT guy at a major university research hospital.
jsktrogdor
1/2 I've had to work tech support for doctors before. I think they just spend so much time learning about medicine, they never have time to
jsktrogdor
2/2 learn much of anything else. I've known surgeons who didnt know which war the Nazis were in but they could name every part of the body.
OnionCutter
Tell that to the doctor who blamed me for losing his favorites in IE after upgrading to win7 on his home pc
VonOhlnhausen
Nurses outrank Doctors for all intents until they finish their residency, and for good reason.
thefuckwouldiwantacaravanthatsgotnofuckinwheels
yeah nurses looooooove that
aTokenOfMyExtreme
I will quote my fiance who is a nurse: "Hahaha (puking noise from imagining sex with a doctor)"
awesomebagel
Don't deepthroat so hard then.
dannymac63
Authority? Hahahahahahahaha. Apparently you've never worked in a hospital.
hadtochangebecauseevery1assumediwasaguy
This haha so much this
BoomConfirmed
I heard you typically need steady hands while working in the hospital so of course they don't work there, not with floppy fingers
Dyslexicbirch
I work at a hospital this is true
AgolfHiller
Dress up as the minister of health? You can even do anal then right?
ElPoloDiablo
Don't have to know shit about medicine, too.
AgolfHiller
I only snort magic spices what is medicine
dannymac63
Computers are down right now, sorry, no anal.
AgolfHiller
Damn
FloppyFingers
Heheh no I haven't. I am scared of hospitals TBH. Bless all you healthcare workers, your work is greatly appreciated.
Penguinsruletheworld
Research your Hospital a always
Sizzlord
From joke to appreciation response. Love this site.
awesomebagel
It's the community
TheOneTrueNerd
But seriously though. I'd kill myself after four hours of that beeping, let alone a shift a day.
dannymac63
I'm not clinical staff, but the beeping honestly fades away pretty quickly. Makes me wonder how some stay attuned to certain sounds.
dannymac63
Turns out my wife did a study on it. Oops. It's called Alarm Fatigue, and is actually a huge issue. I can certainly understand why.
IREALLYLIKEREDHEADEDWOMEN
This sound mean either I or someone else has fucked up.
Isinger
My brother is a 4th year med student at a hospital and tells the nurses what to do
IOnceShatAPlum
Lol, sure he does. We don't take orders from med students
IrrelevantSimpsonQuote
BUULLLLLLLLL.....SHIIIIIIIIT.
dannymac63
Hahahahahaha. Nurses will nod in agreement until he's been an attending for 10 years, then they might listen.
ff36
Is this mean to be shedding good light on nurses? You're making them sound seriously unprofessional buddy
Savanni
You're not completely wrong but nurses are not infallible. I work in healthcare and nurses teach me and sometimes I teach them.
foosbabaganoosh
The forced laughter is a bit much
weimyweimy
Hahahahaha. Nods in agreement just like a nurse would to a medical student.
thestorkasaurus
Y'all treat nurses like they shit gold and wisdom but it took two of them to figure out an epi pen when I was in the ER.
Isinger
Ya they really don't? He knows more than most of them at this point? Like all the science behind that they never learn? It isn't the 80s.
Drunktinyoctupuswantstofight
They have a lot more clinical skill than he does and that is what counts. If he really thinks he is "telling" them what to do 1/3
FindYourChillMate
I mean he may know more of the science behind it. But im betting they know more about day to day shit.
Tyr13
Who actually cares about the science though? Thats great for finding new treatments, but for day to day stuff, the nurse wins, hands down.
DrFunkenstein57
Are these all statements or questions? The question mark says question but the sarcastic tone says statement. I'm confused...
IDeclareBANKRUPTCYYYY
No, not really. Patient care is ultimately the doc's responsibility. If you're the one who's liable, you call the shots.
Jellyballs
Not exactly true...