Fivegoldentoques
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I haven't seen this posted yet, but I could be wrong.
hobotox
I used to be an au pair (/nanny/manny) so I'm a 22 year old homo and I still understand this
edge231
These comics are great. So accurate.
IHaveAPhrasalUserNameLikeThisOneCauseTheyAlwaysGetTheTopComment
As a guy with issues and who probably won't ever have a partner or kids, thanks for posting this and making it easier on me.
LiamNeesonOfficial
My nephew said he was hungry, I gave him my ramen. He poured it on my couch; I near cried. I never wished death on a person until then.
DavidVas
Oh, that politician one is really good.
Iainthavinthatshit
I got mad at my mom once for giving my Psyduck plushie an actual voice instead of only saying its name :|
volatiley
Some animals eat their young
BeBetterThan
more evolved species disappear them earlier
BeBetterThan
more evolved species disappear them earlier
WellWornFleshlight
eugenics humor?
MrOni
Very cool
Timelady18
No kids! FTW!
Freakshow198
Serious question... Why did Brian Gordon choose to have these comics represented with ducks..?
bigmetaldude
Probably easier to draw than people.
Freakshow198
That's a good point...
acetrainerbecca
Protip: Never count up, always count backwards. Because you can always keep counting up, but counting down is more final.
Twinklepot
I used to be cool and do cool things ... wait a minute, I was never cool or did cool things ... sigh
DaftSkunk
makes me want to duck out of parenthood.
burropantano
Heh
lovetorun
politician...So there is hope?
TruculentSheep
Always funny, but Daddy Duck doth protest too much, which is part of the joke really.
dekket
OMFG. have all my upvotes. Ever.
NeckCrease
repost, atleast give credit to OP
MikeL4801
this post needs to be taken down before every old person i have on Facebook shares every single one of these dad joke comics.
Dunes8
Bird Calvinball?
CoolSnackChris
But why ducks?
Xaldyn
Because why the duck not?
platypuspower
Why NOT ducks???
R1verN1gger
it's as close to fuck as some people come online
netterzkastle
Easy to draw?
CoolSnackChris
Okay. But why ducks?
illegalacorn
Agreed, I'd rather see male models.
CoolSnackChris
Thank you.
shoutuckerfatheroftheyear
but why male models?
TheHeroOfTwilight
I'd be cool with that as long as there are an equal amount of female models
illegalacorn
but why female models?
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illegalacorn
whoosh
MrChuckletrousers
It never occurred to me until I had a kid of my own that my parents probably had no idea what would happen if they actually got to three....
rebeccaisafish
I get to three about a third of the time. Then i just oick my kid up and force them to stop. Dont know what ill do when theyre to big.
Rhodian
As an Asian, mine would probably kill me, make a new one and tell him what an idiot the first one was...
IzhuTupid
Mom: "You have until 3. One..." Son: "No! I'm four. I get four, not three!"
BrownskinOriental
I love my son. He started watching Pokemon and we spent 30 minutes yesterday making Pokemon animal sounds and laughing for no reason.
lovetorun
Mine has just recently discovered them as well. Best Time Ever
rebeccaisafish
My daugher was making fart noises on my shoulder and we were in hysterics for a good 30 minutes. Can't do that with adults.
TerriMessy
Parenting done right. Can't wait till my toddler is big enough to understand Pokemon
Kim8them
Cue all the "this is why I don't have kids, had a vasectomy, don't know why anyone has them " comments
justhereforthefunnies
You fucking know it
acetrainerbecca
Protip: Never count up, always count backwards. Because you can always keep counting up, but counting down is more final.
peridotstar
Damn that is Good---I can't believe I never hear people doing that :O
chickNlittle
How about offer a choice- don't count. "You may do this or that." Don't count, they know you have nothing and are making empty threats
Wolfbrother1
The spoon my mom used to carry around says otherwise.
rebeccaisafish
Kids find a way to not choose anyway. As long as you plan to follow through then counting down can be useful
chickNlittle
Then you make a choice. Put your shoes on or I put them on for you. Not choosing is not an option. I've worked with kids for years and see
notatumblrfeminist
Playing pretend is just me saying word for word what my daughters says or we start all over again. "Don't mess up the words this time"
GLAMEOW
So that's where Gaben's fear comes from...
JapanGuyJoe
!!!!!!
Ohhhlookaunicorneatingasamurai
I'm going to need some sauce on this spaghetti, before it makes me more upsetti.
Renza0
They're implying that the fear of the number 3 is why Half life 3 was never made.
EmpyreanEquinox
Nor Portal 3, nor TF3, nor Dota 3. They always stop at 2.
CrowDeMorcerf
Fear? Gaben? 1+1+? = Confirmation of old reference!
FromageATrois
There is literally nothing appealing about children.
rebeccaisafish
I dunno. It's nice to laugh for half an hour about fart noises with someone. I don't get to do that with adults
Chaoslost
They're crunchy and taste great with ketchup.
AshtaMonogue
I dunno, they say some really funny shit sometimes.
CorrectorOfSlightlyOffQuotes
You can force them to do chores for you, so theres that.
Wombatfisher
Pff. I get to break out the Star Wars and Jurassic Park toys again with my son. It's awesome!
R1verN1gger
the flavor?
EvilDustMan
This is why I'm a single virgin hermit for life!
EvilDustMan
You know that and I'm a little mentally broken. And not fit. And the poor hygiene. And I have to live with my disabled mother. And...
rangelife13
Thank you. Needed to be said.
Irishda
As Doctor Cox would say, "It'll be yours."
RedStarBeograd
Agreed
puerility
yeah, i'm really looking forward to never having kids.
MadamPuddifoot
I agree. I'll take my cute as Fuck dogs, thanks.
Fivegoldentoques
as a parent of two boys 8 & 7 i can confirm all of these, but hey i let my kids get tattoos so there's that
uhohmama
Let mine dye her hair purple. So yeah but the rest 100% accurate.
SL4pthePANCAKES
Yup, mine are 6 and 5, both are going through the whole "why" stage
imabibliophile
I have 4 ranging from 16 to 7. If I don't feel like explaining, I tell them to google it. Teachers laugh when I tell them my go to answer.
Chaoslost
Mom of 13, 11, and 9 year old boys reporting in. No end in sight. Check again in the future.
AcadianBacon
I wanna hear what happened on the other 11 days of Canadian Christmases. c: FIVE GOOOOLDEN TOQUES~
ithinkitsthisone
Father of boy 5, girl 8. Live(d) all of these.
IsabelleFallu
Please clarify that whole tattoo things cause wat.
knockoutn336
it's clickbait
dekket
Lucky fuck. I have three little ones. Mine are getting tattoos too, but in a few years; you can't tattoo 4year Olds. I think.
Chaoslost
I have three boys- 13, 11, and 9. Right there with ya.
WhatsaNinjaGottaDotogetanUpvote
Father with 5 girls and a boy. I'll just pull out of this conversation now.
notme222
Maybe you and your son can talk it over next time you're huddled in the bomb shelter waiting for the storm to calm down.
bouncingpuppy
Guess you should have read the warnings that come on the side of the condom box
Auroraceratops
You're like the guy who collects all of the achievements even though it isn't necessarily a good idea
WhatsaNinjaGottaDotogetanUpvote
Why thank you *takes bow*
cc4867rbaldb
Clearly pulling out hasn't been working for you.
LonelyDriver
Ayyyyyyyy
FlyingNimbus
Hahaha!
jonastio
Relevant username is relevant.
dekket
Holy shit I thought I had it bad. I ha e three. I'm a single parent tho, so I guess that's bonus points? :D
WhatsaNinjaGottaDotogetanUpvote
Definite bonus points, I'm lucky to have a beautiful wife that some how maintains her sanity. +1 for you. You go!
dekket
+1 to your wife who maintains her sanity. :)
redloki55
I was going to ask, but then I looked to see you meant with sharpies
rivenwhistle
I have an eight year old, six year old, 21 month old, and #4 on the way. All boys (the last one might not be, dunno yet). Can confirm.
TomDobs55
Father of two boys, 5 & 7 checking in to say hi.
parentingandvice
"I just watched you do it!" "No you didn't!", I word for word had this exchange with my kid.
NOTZLATAN
My parents did actually let me get a tattoo when I was 12..
R1verN1gger
let? or take for?
ottermad88
Go on...
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LlamaTzar
Good save OP, was kinda worried
notatumblrfeminist
Parenting: you're doing it right
waterbucketsandsparetowels
Youre awesome
LoveEngineFive
I have two boys that are 6 & 7. I'm with you.
smaug777000
http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2012/01/georgia-mom-arrested-for-allowing-10-year-old-to-get-tattoo/
Sassquapadelia
She looks like a female lil wayne
HailSatinGodOfFabric
I cannot imagine there is anyway I would live to regret a tattoo I chose at 7
lmgursLibertarian
Would have been He-man's sword. No doubt.
KillerTofu615
I'd get a wolf tattoo at 7. I'm 28 and got a wolf tattoo 8 years ago. Still like it.
ImAnFBIAgentBooBoop
I might have inked a Yuri Djorkaeff tattoo. I would wear it with pride today.
DaftSkunk
I definitely would have picked ninja turtle or power ranger design. probably both and would not regret a minute of it.
TheresAGermanWordForThat
I think that would've been either K.I.T.T. or Pumuckl. Although I suffered from decision paralysis even then.
MrSpindles
I don't know about other countries, but in the UK that would be illegal.
spazmoofer
Probably would have been a my little pony. I'm a girl, It's ok.
theIdris
I know for a fact I would have gotten Leonardo from the Ninja Turtles at 7. Now, at 29, I'd probably just add Raph.
Pontation
Yes
ratchethatchet
Fuck yeah, TMNT! So glad they made a comeback! But I do miss the original styling
theIdris
I love the new cartoon. I didn't watch the movie but the cartoon is great! The style is different, but the content makes up for it.
JupiterJ
Me too...CGI just doesn't have that movie magic :\
tgm333
My parents counted to three. I think I overcame that fear...
o11c
One.
falala78
Two
tgm333
No! I'll do it!
IzhuTupid
No count from mine. Moms had a belt hanging around her neck, a flyswatter in one hand, that look, and you booked out or paid up. NOW!
tgm333
My joke is that my username clearly fixates on the number 3
IzhuTupid
Appears you did, lol! No 2 1/2 first?
tgm333
Sometimes there was a 2 and a half. But, that three was scary!
IzhuTupid
Certainly appears you are past all those half-measures by now!