May 2, 2020 8:57 PM
mark881
139102
3625
44
sirkekes
pretty cool
PraiseTheMachineGod
Yeah, now try stabbing instead of cutting and chopping.
ImMrFrundles
You obviously didn't watch the very start of the video
ImgGnuu
You didn't look close enough. Stop the Video where he gets stabbed and you will see a massive plate under his shirt. Shit be fake yo
ramshead91
Additionally if he was stabbing with the knife and it was stopping we'd see force transfer.
catsandcoke
Where are you people that someone is attacking you with a machete?! I live in a civilized country where we get shot thank you.
nousernamesleftforthekids
I want some for clearing blackberries
BoardHands
Wow what did that guy do to piss everyone off?
scr59
Machine gun washable
VoodooMamaGonza
So it's basically mithril.
wipethatfaceoffyourheadbitch
A kingly gift
onewaytrip
Give it to prisoners.
notkvothethebloodless
Are they by chance hiring for the mister stabby position?
AwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwYiiiiiiiis
But can this shield me from Murder Hornets?
Kitakita
imagine walking into a public building and stabbing yourself, only to realize that you forgot to wear your fancy shirt
Becker37
Looks hotter than shit. I'd die from a lack of air flow long before getting stabbed
Blimymyhat
How timely. Remember to gear up for your costco raiding party, the stockers all carry razor knives and fight dirty.
wylwrk
Okay, now STAB him.
YouTubeRed
FuckmotheringxVampire
Great for the zombie apocalypse! 5 stars!
OneWashingMachine
And for protesting the stay at home orders!
MonoChango
and renfairs. lets see how you do with that live blade
fbutt09
All zombies gave this PPE zero stars
biggerhammertx
What happens when the Zombies are wearing that? We will all be SO Screwed!!
They become zombie generals and lead the hoard
Isi151e
Chances are if you're worried about zombies wearing this, you're too close to them already
IamJacksanxiety
Head trauma is head trauma. Hammer to the head worked on plate armor
Testicool
That Remind me a medieval quote "if you can't cut him, use a fucking mace to break his bones"
TheHillsHaveNostrils
Or: warhammer to the head - guy is dead.
Hooishais6
So if you get slashed your neck/arm/whatever is safe. If you get stabbed you are about to have a expensive balaclava in your throat
Euronyme
Someone call the museum. We need the plate mail back in action.
pyr666
better than having a knife in there.
BisonMooseDuck
It protected against stabbing in the video
Refyougee
yeah, armour only tends to work where it's worn. who knew?
imgurschmimgur
Just say no stabsies at the start
JoeT85
what about the guy that tested the first version that didn't work as expected.
CanineEuphoria
It’s a compromise between flexibility and protection. There are different options with their own drawbacks.
spaceystacey
I like you. Any chance you are in the science or research field?
Dapro1
Did you watch the entire gif? It shows stabbing...
Delta2Almanac
Imagine paramedics trying to cut this off because you got stabbed on the toe.
oldguyexlurker
The first part of the video appears to be showing it as stab-resistant. But, yeah... exposed areas are toast.
lljkstonefish
Dumb and Dumber. What if they shot me in the face?
Alfadorfox
If you don't know the target is wearing body armor, you'd usually shoot for center of mass so you have a better chance of hitting them.
I caught a lot of trash talk in Team Fortress 2 for taking body shots with the Sydney Sleeper because I actually hit the targets more than
when I tried for headshots with the default rifle.
the first part shows it made into a vest, its way thicker than any of the other parts
SamuthNBS
Could be worn over some kind of padding to protect against the pain
It does appear to be significantly more rigid.
ItsBDC
Personal experience so take with grain of salt, more likely to get stabbed than slashed in an altercation. I'd rather get stab proof but...
I think that is too big to reasonably conceal right?
BSwann
Can't drive around in your APC all day. So you want them to make essentially a Burka out of this?
FeloniousMonk13
Mmmm balaclava is delicious
chitterbug
Baklava?
NullUser20
Mmmmm back lava
AgnesMcGillicuddy
No thats a mask i think you meant the dessert baccarat
Iloveanonymityandilovebeingnoticed
No that’s a card game. I think you mean buccaneer.
No that's a pirate i think you meant Barbarossa
No that's another pirate. I think they meant bachelor
ThoughtSandwich
I am sure police would appreciate this products.
Jjaammeesss
But what about stabs
lenonymes
It'll stop the blade from penetrating but still completely fuck your day up...and a lot of days afterwards while you recover from the injury
Teawrecks66
Every one in England should get one free
purgethefilthyheretics
Oi m8 u better ‘ave a loicense for that comment there
ReleaseTheBeeees
I've never understood the license stereotype. I have a driving license and that's it. I've never been asked for a permit to do anything 1/
InTheDistanceAPlaintiveEnglishHorn
Yep the UK doesn't even have ID cards
outside of a job site, and even then it's would be a 'permit to work' which is basically just telling people what you're doing & where
Maybe it's a joke about the TV licence
It’s a joke about the British government, and not a stereotype about the British people.
MattLevin
Yeah sick of being stabbed every day
LongoloidFartExplosion
At least it's only at 8pm on Thursday during lockdown. :-)
vandan117
Next will be flamethrowers!
Sefalim
Nah we're good, thanks. To busy not getting shot for looking at PC Plod funny.
ManMashine
Same here in Germany where "men" who attack others with knifes has drastically become "normal" since 2015 as well.
pancreas
just part and parcel
DeviousByNature
Yeah I was only thinking earlier how I've not been stabbed since the lockdown started. Seriously what the fuck.
Blyde
I also haven't been stabbed, or stabbed anyone. What a confusing time.
Oh ok stabbing others? That I've done.
Get this, I've NEVER been stabbed! Nor do I know ANYONE who has been stabbed!
You probably know a few people who've been stabbed they just don't talk about it...
Stabbings are actually newsworthy in the UK.
*Some* stabbings are newsworthy. I live in the UK.
MiguelCamino
I'm an American. I don't know anyone who's ever been shot.
TakWriterOfWorlds
I know too many, sadly, but my sample size is skewed because of my chosen jobs.
What is your job?
SanguineMyBrother
And helmets for the acid attacks. I don't know anyone who wouldn't rather be shot than get acid in the eyes.
icookfoodandfightfire
to be fair, thats pretty common here too, just doesant get reported all that often
You have weird ways of getting to know people I gotta say
"Hey baby, you wanna get shot later or just maybe do a little acid...in your eyes?"
Evenmorehorrifying
As someone who used to wear 3A soft armor every day, it's super uncomfortable, and this would be a nice comfort of a change.
bloodlustunicorn
But 3A has a level of ballistic protection. This is just slash / stab not ballistic.
Not everywhere is a gun riddled shithole...
skelitor120
But if your job requires you to wear 3A armor, you're definitely in a place where you need it, bud.
steam1218
also make hugs less awkward. My aunt has to wear it for work and giving her a hug always feel like anti-hug barrier.
HieronymousFlex
Yeah, this would be great for prison guards.
BetterOffSingle
The stab resistance is from 5mm polycarbonate. The slash resistant is from a dense polyethylene fiber. Neither stops a bullet like 3A armor.
OptimusPom
I'm looking into these. The sleeves look good for some protection from animal attacks at least. They are 50% off all May on their site.
Could you link me their site, please?
https://www.slash-pro.com/arm-guards Be sure to change the currency field to wherever you're at.
BassNAss
How do you wash it, how long will the material last, and most importantly what does it cost?
TheGhostofLouReed
Mithril’s been around a long time, now these jokers are trying to rebrand it!?
Nertztoyouguys
quzar
I was thinking Earthsilk Jersey.
srlfish
v
CodeXCDM
thegraybush
Tajik
If you can afford this stuff you probably don't live in an area where you need it.
zombiejon
Ice hockey players
Sure, but like bulletproof cars and such, it's less for when you're safely at home, and more for when you're in public or traveling.
lumoize
Its for people like prison guards.
I live in a good area but the social housing is pretty close. I’m sure the planners do that on purpose to break up the pockets of low income
elrick43
Plot twist: they're all Kryptonian
https://youtu.be/niiNPH64Xv4
zyxzevn
Does it protect against my cat?
SilentSecretMan
Go for the neck and face.
Safebox36
*furiously writing*...and the face. Got it!
AlexjoneswatchingTporn
Most knife attacks are on the chest thats why stab vests exist
Mobius1One
The eyes are the groin of the face. - Dwight K. Schrute
FentuckyCriedKhicken
No go for the soul talk about the failing relationship between him and his wife or child, talk about humanity and ruined environment.
“Stabbing me isn’t going to make your father come back! He left because of you!”
etherbunny41
Armor's hidden under the clothes. Gives you a free stab to respond. Attacker might already be running thinking they're done.
Metalgearslade
Great advice for the guy in the fucking video...? Goober.
don’t give them ideas
chargeling
I want a turtle-neck sweater made of this… I don't understand why the video says "wear underneath".
Metatality
"Neck and Groin. The neck and the groin. It doesn't matter how big the fucker is, they've all got a neck and a groin" - Dylan Moran's granny
GeneralNuclear
FrenchTheLlama2
They probably would eventually but most people attack center of mass for a better target, by the time they realise its not getting through..
You have at least a chance to get away
Woolytop
"Just stab him in the unarmored bits!" Like the guy's gonna just *stand there and let you do that*.
MidnightBreakfastClub
Thousands of soldiers throughout history like “Shit didn’t think of that, this armour is useless!”
The clip demonstrates a balaclava that helps protect the neck and face..
CaldariBob
Good thing balaclavas are too tough to yank off...
R3mmy
If he sees your balaclava is magic armoured too he might go for the eyes
Thefear1984
Ya'll keep saying baklava and now I'm hungry
Zadwanaa
The eyes are the groin of the face - dwight shrute
AMRIV
Go for the eyes Boo! Go for the eyes! RUUUUSK!
hahathatisfunny
he’ll wear his armor contacts
Are they rated for miniature giant space hamsters?
That’s a tough target to hit in the heat of the moment.
ThisDique
Let's be real. The guy wasn't properly motivated.
They should probably hire convicts who have stabbed people to death to truly test this vest.
kongfuchicken
"Kill boss, debunk product, default on mortgage? ...or, and hear me out here, just play along...?"
Allworknoplay82
That was a risk we were willing to take...
SharkswithFrigginLazerBeams
How come I didn't get a gun?
PardusXY
People are way more likely to attack a part of the body that doesn't have them viewing the gore after the fact.
MultiplePersonalitiesProfile
Or you can move to Europe, just saying.
llortamai
Y'all don't have knives?
We do, we’re just far less willing to use them against people, in average.
I live in London, where stabbing is “rampant” for European standards. I’m not scared at all, but that’s probably cause I was born in Brazil.
ColdestOne
If you only saw this little clip it would be so confusing
PandaRapist
This is how I wash my clothes as well
anarklay
Thanks, I'm gonna go send this to a bunch of people out of context now
TrixNStix
LMFAO true
ninjamantid
Man my deodorant is sharp today
EmpressOfBotany
I too apply my deodorant to the front of my shirt
MADFOX
GAAAH I HATE THIS SHIRT
nopressurejustcomeupwithacoolname
Reminds me of the tough guy substitute teacher with a chest cast under his shirt the kids didn’t know about. The classroom windows were 1/
Open and his tie kept flipping in his face so he stapled it to his chest. No problems with the kids acting up after that.
peppy590
If you only saw t[his] little [cli]p i[t] would be so confusing.
chiakat
If you only saw his tit would be so confusing.
Not for the emo kids.
Markamanic
Whatever happened to those
SFMGifs
sirkekes
pretty cool
PraiseTheMachineGod
Yeah, now try stabbing instead of cutting and chopping.
ImMrFrundles
You obviously didn't watch the very start of the video
ImgGnuu
You didn't look close enough. Stop the Video where he gets stabbed and you will see a massive plate under his shirt. Shit be fake yo
ramshead91
Additionally if he was stabbing with the knife and it was stopping we'd see force transfer.
catsandcoke
Where are you people that someone is attacking you with a machete?! I live in a civilized country where we get shot thank you.
nousernamesleftforthekids
I want some for clearing blackberries
BoardHands
Wow what did that guy do to piss everyone off?
scr59
Machine gun washable
VoodooMamaGonza
So it's basically mithril.
wipethatfaceoffyourheadbitch
A kingly gift
onewaytrip
Give it to prisoners.
notkvothethebloodless
Are they by chance hiring for the mister stabby position?
AwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwYiiiiiiiis
But can this shield me from Murder Hornets?
Kitakita
imagine walking into a public building and stabbing yourself, only to realize that you forgot to wear your fancy shirt
Becker37
Looks hotter than shit. I'd die from a lack of air flow long before getting stabbed
Blimymyhat
How timely. Remember to gear up for your costco raiding party, the stockers all carry razor knives and fight dirty.
wylwrk
Okay, now STAB him.
YouTubeRed
FuckmotheringxVampire
Great for the zombie apocalypse! 5 stars!
OneWashingMachine
And for protesting the stay at home orders!
MonoChango
and renfairs. lets see how you do with that live blade
fbutt09
All zombies gave this PPE zero stars
biggerhammertx
What happens when the Zombies are wearing that? We will all be SO Screwed!!
FuckmotheringxVampire
They become zombie generals and lead the hoard
Isi151e
Chances are if you're worried about zombies wearing this, you're too close to them already
IamJacksanxiety
Head trauma is head trauma. Hammer to the head worked on plate armor
Testicool
That Remind me a medieval quote "if you can't cut him, use a fucking mace to break his bones"
TheHillsHaveNostrils
Or: warhammer to the head - guy is dead.
Hooishais6
So if you get slashed your neck/arm/whatever is safe. If you get stabbed you are about to have a expensive balaclava in your throat
Euronyme
Someone call the museum. We need the plate mail back in action.
pyr666
better than having a knife in there.
BisonMooseDuck
It protected against stabbing in the video
Refyougee
yeah, armour only tends to work where it's worn. who knew?
imgurschmimgur
Just say no stabsies at the start
JoeT85
what about the guy that tested the first version that didn't work as expected.
CanineEuphoria
It’s a compromise between flexibility and protection. There are different options with their own drawbacks.
spaceystacey
I like you. Any chance you are in the science or research field?
Dapro1
Did you watch the entire gif? It shows stabbing...
Delta2Almanac
Imagine paramedics trying to cut this off because you got stabbed on the toe.
oldguyexlurker
The first part of the video appears to be showing it as stab-resistant. But, yeah... exposed areas are toast.
lljkstonefish
Dumb and Dumber. What if they shot me in the face?
Alfadorfox
If you don't know the target is wearing body armor, you'd usually shoot for center of mass so you have a better chance of hitting them.
Alfadorfox
I caught a lot of trash talk in Team Fortress 2 for taking body shots with the Sydney Sleeper because I actually hit the targets more than
Alfadorfox
when I tried for headshots with the default rifle.
Hooishais6
the first part shows it made into a vest, its way thicker than any of the other parts
SamuthNBS
Could be worn over some kind of padding to protect against the pain
oldguyexlurker
It does appear to be significantly more rigid.
ItsBDC
Personal experience so take with grain of salt, more likely to get stabbed than slashed in an altercation. I'd rather get stab proof but...
ItsBDC
I think that is too big to reasonably conceal right?
BSwann
Can't drive around in your APC all day. So you want them to make essentially a Burka out of this?
FeloniousMonk13
Mmmm balaclava is delicious
chitterbug
Baklava?
NullUser20
Mmmmm back lava
AgnesMcGillicuddy
No thats a mask i think you meant the dessert baccarat
Iloveanonymityandilovebeingnoticed
No that’s a card game. I think you mean buccaneer.
AgnesMcGillicuddy
No that's a pirate i think you meant Barbarossa
Delta2Almanac
No that's another pirate. I think they meant bachelor
ThoughtSandwich
I am sure police would appreciate this products.
Jjaammeesss
But what about stabs
lenonymes
It'll stop the blade from penetrating but still completely fuck your day up...and a lot of days afterwards while you recover from the injury
Teawrecks66
Every one in England should get one free
purgethefilthyheretics
Oi m8 u better ‘ave a loicense for that comment there
ReleaseTheBeeees
I've never understood the license stereotype. I have a driving license and that's it. I've never been asked for a permit to do anything 1/
InTheDistanceAPlaintiveEnglishHorn
Yep the UK doesn't even have ID cards
ReleaseTheBeeees
outside of a job site, and even then it's would be a 'permit to work' which is basically just telling people what you're doing & where
InTheDistanceAPlaintiveEnglishHorn
Maybe it's a joke about the TV licence
purgethefilthyheretics
It’s a joke about the British government, and not a stereotype about the British people.
MattLevin
Yeah sick of being stabbed every day
LongoloidFartExplosion
At least it's only at 8pm on Thursday during lockdown. :-)
vandan117
Next will be flamethrowers!
Sefalim
Nah we're good, thanks. To busy not getting shot for looking at PC Plod funny.
ManMashine
Same here in Germany where "men" who attack others with knifes has drastically become "normal" since 2015 as well.
pancreas
just part and parcel
vandan117
Next will be flamethrowers!
DeviousByNature
Yeah I was only thinking earlier how I've not been stabbed since the lockdown started. Seriously what the fuck.
Blyde
I also haven't been stabbed, or stabbed anyone. What a confusing time.
DeviousByNature
Oh ok stabbing others? That I've done.
Sefalim
Get this, I've NEVER been stabbed! Nor do I know ANYONE who has been stabbed!
DeviousByNature
Blyde
You probably know a few people who've been stabbed they just don't talk about it...
Sefalim
Stabbings are actually newsworthy in the UK.
Blyde
*Some* stabbings are newsworthy. I live in the UK.
MiguelCamino
I'm an American. I don't know anyone who's ever been shot.
DeviousByNature
TakWriterOfWorlds
I know too many, sadly, but my sample size is skewed because of my chosen jobs.
MiguelCamino
What is your job?
SanguineMyBrother
And helmets for the acid attacks. I don't know anyone who wouldn't rather be shot than get acid in the eyes.
icookfoodandfightfire
to be fair, thats pretty common here too, just doesant get reported all that often
purgethefilthyheretics
You have weird ways of getting to know people I gotta say
SanguineMyBrother
"Hey baby, you wanna get shot later or just maybe do a little acid...in your eyes?"
Evenmorehorrifying
As someone who used to wear 3A soft armor every day, it's super uncomfortable, and this would be a nice comfort of a change.
bloodlustunicorn
But 3A has a level of ballistic protection. This is just slash / stab not ballistic.
BSwann
Not everywhere is a gun riddled shithole...
skelitor120
But if your job requires you to wear 3A armor, you're definitely in a place where you need it, bud.
steam1218
also make hugs less awkward. My aunt has to wear it for work and giving her a hug always feel like anti-hug barrier.
HieronymousFlex
Yeah, this would be great for prison guards.
BetterOffSingle
The stab resistance is from 5mm polycarbonate. The slash resistant is from a dense polyethylene fiber. Neither stops a bullet like 3A armor.
OptimusPom
I'm looking into these. The sleeves look good for some protection from animal attacks at least. They are 50% off all May on their site.
Evenmorehorrifying
Could you link me their site, please?
OptimusPom
https://www.slash-pro.com/arm-guards Be sure to change the currency field to wherever you're at.
BassNAss
How do you wash it, how long will the material last, and most importantly what does it cost?
TheGhostofLouReed
Mithril’s been around a long time, now these jokers are trying to rebrand it!?
Nertztoyouguys
quzar
I was thinking Earthsilk Jersey.
srlfish
CodeXCDM
thegraybush
Tajik
If you can afford this stuff you probably don't live in an area where you need it.
zombiejon
Ice hockey players
lenonymes
Sure, but like bulletproof cars and such, it's less for when you're safely at home, and more for when you're in public or traveling.
lumoize
Its for people like prison guards.
wipethatfaceoffyourheadbitch
I live in a good area but the social housing is pretty close. I’m sure the planners do that on purpose to break up the pockets of low income
elrick43
Plot twist: they're all Kryptonian
OptimusPom
https://youtu.be/niiNPH64Xv4
zyxzevn
Does it protect against my cat?
SilentSecretMan
Go for the neck and face.
Safebox36
*furiously writing*...and the face. Got it!
AlexjoneswatchingTporn
Most knife attacks are on the chest thats why stab vests exist
Mobius1One
The eyes are the groin of the face. - Dwight K. Schrute
FentuckyCriedKhicken
No go for the soul talk about the failing relationship between him and his wife or child, talk about humanity and ruined environment.
TakWriterOfWorlds
“Stabbing me isn’t going to make your father come back! He left because of you!”
etherbunny41
Armor's hidden under the clothes. Gives you a free stab to respond. Attacker might already be running thinking they're done.
Metalgearslade
Great advice for the guy in the fucking video...? Goober.
fbutt09
chargeling
I want a turtle-neck sweater made of this… I don't understand why the video says "wear underneath".
Metatality
"Neck and Groin. The neck and the groin. It doesn't matter how big the fucker is, they've all got a neck and a groin" - Dylan Moran's granny
GeneralNuclear
FrenchTheLlama2
They probably would eventually but most people attack center of mass for a better target, by the time they realise its not getting through..
FrenchTheLlama2
You have at least a chance to get away
Woolytop
"Just stab him in the unarmored bits!" Like the guy's gonna just *stand there and let you do that*.
MidnightBreakfastClub
Thousands of soldiers throughout history like “Shit didn’t think of that, this armour is useless!”
CanineEuphoria
The clip demonstrates a balaclava that helps protect the neck and face..
CaldariBob
Good thing balaclavas are too tough to yank off...
R3mmy
If he sees your balaclava is magic armoured too he might go for the eyes
Thefear1984
Ya'll keep saying baklava and now I'm hungry
Zadwanaa
The eyes are the groin of the face - dwight shrute
AMRIV
Go for the eyes Boo! Go for the eyes! RUUUUSK!
hahathatisfunny
he’ll wear his armor contacts
AMRIV
Are they rated for miniature giant space hamsters?
TakWriterOfWorlds
That’s a tough target to hit in the heat of the moment.
ThisDique
Let's be real. The guy wasn't properly motivated.
Delta2Almanac
They should probably hire convicts who have stabbed people to death to truly test this vest.
kongfuchicken
"Kill boss, debunk product, default on mortgage? ...or, and hear me out here, just play along...?"
Allworknoplay82
That was a risk we were willing to take...
SharkswithFrigginLazerBeams
How come I didn't get a gun?
PardusXY
People are way more likely to attack a part of the body that doesn't have them viewing the gore after the fact.
MultiplePersonalitiesProfile
Or you can move to Europe, just saying.
llortamai
Y'all don't have knives?
MultiplePersonalitiesProfile
We do, we’re just far less willing to use them against people, in average.
MultiplePersonalitiesProfile
I live in London, where stabbing is “rampant” for European standards. I’m not scared at all, but that’s probably cause I was born in Brazil.
ColdestOne
If you only saw this little clip it would be so confusing
PandaRapist
This is how I wash my clothes as well
anarklay
Thanks, I'm gonna go send this to a bunch of people out of context now
TrixNStix
LMFAO true
ninjamantid
Man my deodorant is sharp today
EmpressOfBotany
I too apply my deodorant to the front of my shirt
MADFOX
GAAAH I HATE THIS SHIRT
nopressurejustcomeupwithacoolname
Reminds me of the tough guy substitute teacher with a chest cast under his shirt the kids didn’t know about. The classroom windows were 1/
nopressurejustcomeupwithacoolname
Open and his tie kept flipping in his face so he stapled it to his chest. No problems with the kids acting up after that.
peppy590
If you only saw t[his] little [cli]p i[t] would be so confusing.
chiakat
If you only saw his tit would be so confusing.
TakWriterOfWorlds
Not for the emo kids.
Markamanic
Whatever happened to those
SFMGifs