erjint
200669
4081
207
One Of Life's Conondrums
Feb 5, 2018 11:30 AM
erjint
200669
4081
207
FancyTurd
AKA “The Witch’s Kiss”
tomkingkong
"Pooseidon's Kiss"
Vockocro
theoriginaljfizz
It's always a bit of a wake up isn't it?
WhenIcommentyouknowImtakingadump
Just had on the second I got to this post. A Godly incident
killer10347
This is why you put some toilet paper into the water beforehand.
PrivateNoodles
WowaRustySpoon
This literally happened to me while reading this
mmaatt8
That's considered a delicacy in Japan
DirtyWizardsBrew
Oh so THAT's what that is? Okay that's cool then. I mean, I guess it's not everyday someone kisses your butthole.
floppyballbags
Also, 'the witches kiss,' which is when your penis touches porcelain and a cold shiver runs through your very soul.
CheeseEggsAndPotatoes
Why did I need this so bad but never know it
ResidentPsychicDetective
Accurate
xerofall
Put a few pieces of toilet paper down first... No more splash.
KlashingKings
Sheldonian
General reaction
ProsciuttoBiscotto
And thats why you always put a piece of toilet paper into the toilet
MoodDaily
It took me longer than it should have to comprehend what I was looking at
MOSIA
Pisseidon*
manamarish
Pooseidon*
AliBarber
Still can't fucking believe the amount of people who don't know to put down a layer of TP on the water to stop this from happening.
EyeZedEe
Ikr.
Broonstar
Waste of paper, we've only got one planet!
AliBarber
Would rather use a couple squares than have cold filthy water on my ass.
AWittyUsernameBecauseTheOneIWantedWasTaken
"Release the Kraken!"
Allhailmidgetgoat
I used to say this to my gf when initiating sexy time...I think I found a good one cause she didn’t leave.
Ooolovelyjubbly
*Crapen
MrSpeedycola
TheYoungerChrisEvans
Still better than a witch's kiss. When the tip of your dong touches the interior wall of the public toilet/porta potty
EyeZedEe
Gross.
ImFunAtGrammarParties
The poop release semi is real...
[deleted]
[deleted]
rockfireman
Well if it's big and it his your prostate, you're gonna get hard.
green1
DrPhillipMahmoufWifarts
TheBigReveal
Fun fact: Those squiggly horizontal lines are there to help see the shockwave through the air.
usernametaken42
Poseidon after his wife had finally stopped blue balling him
eroso
If that is not terrifying, I dunno what is.
Jamesuuu
Put a sheet of toilet roll down there, acts as a buffer for the turds.
akissfromtom
Put some TP on the surface of the water. Blocks the first kiss.
quattroformaggix4
Suggestions from @akissfromtom to block kisses...huh
MayaMacskusz
i'm makeing a BED out of TP on the surface of the water ewerytime.
Whatsname
Too hard keeping the TP entered. Just make a TP bed on the rug, free Willy, fold it and flush. Work like a charm
Mustardbumps
Yes. Standard practice I've been doing for years. Definite life changer. I call it the splash pad.
HappyEngineer
I grew up with younger brothers, the seat always gets a precautionary wipe before I sit down. Two birds, one stone.
ImFunAtGrammarParties
And sometimes you know all hell is about to be unleashed from your sphincter so you anxiously wait, armed with 9 pieces of toilet paper.
ImFunAtGrammarParties
And then there are times when 9 pieces of toilet paper are not enough.
EyeZedEe
Amen.
akissfromtom
Also.. am, real talk, pooping right now :)
Minivanv
Me too
quattroformaggix4
gross
Bananasandwich03
Life hack: put about 4 squares of toilet paper folded up into the middle of the bowl before you go. No more splash. You’re welcome.
vliegtuig
And people wonder why the toilets stop working.
NickRivieraMD
Like most life hacks this just sounds like a goddamn waste.
Markuspsyches
https://youtu.be/-XNDM4eAn1U
owlest
but when poop water splashes on your butt you are gonna need more paper to clean anyways
NickRivieraMD
O shit that is an excellent point
DogsAreJustLittleAngelsSentToHelpUs
MFW it happens in a public restroom.
killer10347
Put TP into the water beforehand.
FrankieValleyAndTheFourKindgoms
1. Whilst trying to expel some rather large charcoal turds, they were getting stuck in the pipe and refused to come out
Altorhys
Or in a Sani John.
theslowestsloth
Try to avoid public toilets . Fucking nightmare!
IBegToDiffer
Throw down a wad or two of toilet paper. Backsplash prevented.
theslowestsloth
MVP
DogsAreJustLittleAngelsSentToHelpUs
Thanks for the tip, good to know for sure
happytreeleaf
Always brother/sister
happytreeleaf
Although there’s the danger it comes out in dollops and sits above the water and stinks.
101Medic
It took FOUR WIPES!
VigorousWhale
DogsAreJustLittleAngelsSentToHelpUs
Ha!
FrozenInCarbonite
SatoriEnlightenment
The hands are gloves on sticks operated by and off screen puppeteer.
FraudulentPepsi
magic50
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
shardshart
whats wrong with her hands
DissFattBidge
Trump syndrome
TheRealWop
They look like muppet hands
YarTheBug
The "concerned dolphin". When you almost stick it in the wrong hole, and she says, "Eh-eh! Eh-eh! Eh-eh!"
HinataisBae
DutchRudderShotgun
I learned it as the reluctant porpoise
quattroformaggix4
I hate when they slide to the vagine! No babies for me suckah!
YarTheBug
I've only tried the butt once. Wound up getting my lap shat on. Afraid I'm scarred for life.
quattroformaggix4
Bahahahahahahahahaaha
ZimGenzko
Hey Americans why are your toilets so weird?
MayaMacskusz
Deepflush toilet is invented bcse it blocking the most of the smell, while the user dumping,bcse the product is submerged under the water
ZimGenzko
Nur it doesn’t work that well. It’s not less smelly than idk the German toilets which contain considerably less water.
MayaMacskusz
It is depends on your diet, if your dump is cont.high amount of fat, than it isn't submerg enough,so the toilet loose the efficiency. 1/2
MayaMacskusz
There are studies, that proof the efficiency of deepflush toilet, this is why commonly used in public toilets, even here in the EU. 2/2