imNotChrisPratt
105522
1829
176
Sam Brownback, Governor of Kansas (my home state) and all-around douche, for those who were wondering.
GhettoEMS
Grumpywitch
Wharrgarrble
Need one for Prince dick gargler your secretary of state...
LoveFreckles
Ayyy fuck Brownback
Eireman4Ever
+1 for the last one. Somebody deserves an award.
massrequiem
I hate it when OPs post selfies
ashipthatshipsshippingships
Sam Brownback was proof that 100% pure Tea Party policy is absolute bullshit. We need taxes. A state needs revenue.
Notthen82
But yet re-elected ☹️
imNotChrisPratt
Only because the guy opposing him went to a strip club once. Very religiously conservative here, more important than the economy apparently.
Goot612
KC Resident here. +1 for drawing of Brownback wreathed in cocks. Can't wait to see this failure of a man booted out at the next election.
kinkygranpa
Sam Brokeback
TallDude
#4 Except that's not how it worked. Ritualistic laws were dealt with, not moral ones. It's not like the 10 Commandments went away after JC.
imNotChrisPratt
Which one of the commandments forbids homosexuality?
TallDude
I meant that his death did not undo all the rules that God handed down. Only some of them.
emmaisnotanoldlady
I just moved to Kansas and am learning about the horror of Kansas politics....
imNotChrisPratt
It used to be a fairly moderate state. We had a republican congress and a democratic governor for a long time.
pairofd
That's a lot of cock for one set of balls if you know what I'm saying. No? Me neither
plzdownvote
What does this have to do with doctor who?
imNotChrisPratt
The whole "Batman is a Time Lord" comic probably should have given it away.
plzdownvote
Didn't go through all of them, so I suppose I missed it, but the whole post generally wasn't based on doctor who, that's why I was confused
DanFranzen
LMAO ME
bhifi
Wichita in the house!
Aldryic
As an actual programmer, #11 is just annoying. Conditionals only work like that when you're autistic.
Iuseanavatargifforalmostnothing
The longer you look at that last image, the more cocks you see
romg6manykids
Cock King gets the upvote.
bulletproofsam92
What current year man in #1 neglects to mention is that home invasions, arson, stabbings, and other violent crime increased.
Killertortilla
Cute, but no, they didn't.
TysonGoesOutside
Supposedly there was a slight bump right after the ban then it leveled off to pre ban numbers...
IBelieveInAThingCalledGlove
Ahh yes arson and stabbings the two most notorious gun crimes
PaganRaven
Nope. http://www.snopes.com/crime/statistics/ausguns.asp
TysonGoesOutside
But have homicide rates gone down... looks like they stayed level...
imNotChrisPratt
Unfortunately for you, Google exists, and we can look these things up.
TysonGoesOutside
According to Google machine there is no significant difference in homicide rate before and bans in UK, Ireland and Australia >
TysonGoesOutside
So people were stripped of their rights and in many cases had their property seized (often without compensation) for no real benefit...
MeRoyMinoy
I'm not Chris Pratt sounds like something Chris Pratt would say
imNotChrisPratt
venomlash
Username checks out.
imNotChrisPratt
CISMaleScumLord
Sounds like something Chris Pratt would say if wanted us to think he wasn't Chris Pratt...
deadpool381
As a fellow Kansan I agree, fuck Brownback!
PunnyPride
all aboard the fuck brownback train choochoo
itotallydidntjustforgetmypasswordandmakeanewaccount
As a high school student in Kansas at a shitty small town school, fuck him
TinyPhysics
As another high school student in Kansas, Fuck him
1TrueKingInTheNorth
Why?
BaileyAshten15
His policies have pretty much ruined the state budget. He's Americas most unpopular governor. Kansan, can confirm.
imNotChrisPratt
Yup.
redmen79
There were rumors that he would leave office to be President of K-State. If he would've, I would've considered transferring. He's an asshole
imNotChrisPratt
Yeah I can't imagine him as the president of a university I attended.
Herpusflerpus
Haha oh shit you're from Kansas? Duuuuuuude sorry about brownback... but hey, supply-side economics TOTALLY WORKS right...?
imNotChrisPratt
Haha yeah. Now I live on the Missouri side and get to watch the ridiculousness from the other side.
AhHereNow
Anyone got a link for #1
imNotChrisPratt
https://youtu.be/mVuspKSjfgA Someone posted it in a different thread.
Killertortilla
Look for john oliver gun control, it'll come up
AhHereNow
Cheers bud
imNotChrisPratt
Sorry. I just pulled it from my phone. Didn't have the original source.
AhHereNow
No worries mate
imightbeawesome
"too dumb to eat a sandwich", I am using this at the first available opportunity.
ColonelHunterGathers
can someone explain #2 for me?
realmdweller
Washington warned against partisan politics and the formation political parties in his farewell address. They didn't listen. 1/2
realmdweller
2/2 http://avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/washing.asp
napoleonsghost
All hail the cock king
BadWolf16
PaperNay
king cock !
Trimbl
Aww look at the schlongs.
WildStingingMapleleaf
The true cock king
LostCatWantedDeadAndAlive
With a throne like that, Renly would still be with us.
awwjeez
how'd you know my high school nickname?
ashipthatshipsshippingships
ALL HAIL
De4dM4nW4lkin
Ok... I liked this ONLY FOR THE BAT LORD STRIP... I LOVE THE HUMAN WHO CAME UP WITH THAT AND WANT TO HELP THEM GET OFF TO WHATEVER THEY WANT
imNotChrisPratt
I never get tired of that strip. Especially the "wibbly wobbly, timey wimey" explanation.
De4dM4nW4lkin
I love the utility belt explanation
ExplainThisJoke
#4 THANK YOU!! I get so pissed when people think I'm a bad Christian just because I won't stop murdering and commiting adultery!
LostCatWantedDeadAndAlive
Ahh "fuck, marry, kill", the Ol' OJ Simpson classic.
imNotChrisPratt
This made me laugh out loud sitting at my computer at work.
cntdn
I heard he is being released soon for good behaviour
Lefargon
"Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them." Matthew 5:17
JonathanHoag
Well, yes, but Christians are free of the dietary laws, allowed to work any day they like, etc. Because Jesus freed them from those.
IBuiltAFreakingArk
Elevated them
gamewarrior48
Yeah, that person really doesn't know their theology
DigYourselfBaby
Neither of them do: Colbert is an admitted Catholic, & there is no tenet in Catholicism for lay-people actually reading the Bible.
gamewarrior48
Which is really too bad, more Catholics should read the Bible (speaking as a Catholic)
DigYourselfBaby
But if your authority figures (Priest, Bishop, Pope etc) don't tell you to read it, it will unlikely occur to you to do so. It was, in fact,
GadenKerensky
#1 The whole thing is much better!
NorwegianSheepknuller
https://youtu.be/mVuspKSjfgA
GadenKerensky
Not available in my country. :/
imNotChrisPratt
So good.
Killertortilla
No matter what side you're on, it's hilarious to watch someone that dumb try to defend themselves.
GadenKerensky
And falter.
CaverExtrordinaire
Anyone defending against gun control sounds stupid
CaverExtrordinaire
I think people have got it wrong here with all the negatives. What I mean is that with the data there isn't a reason not to have gun control
ITradeNewds
I could make a better counter argument against jon Oliver's stance on gun control than that dude. Does that make me stupid?
CaverExtrordinaire
Any "reason" for not having tougher gun control laws is moot compared to the fact that less guns equals less problems
pyrrhlis
You mean, replace guns with FUCKING KATANAS!?
TysonGoesOutside
Less gun rarely means less problems.. usually means more stabbings and more undocumented guns in the hands of otherwise law abiding citizens
ITradeNewds
there is usually a surge in non violent crime while violent crime doesn't change. these effects were observed after both the uk and aus bans