Not proud of it.

I love my wife and my son with all my heart, and I missed them every day while I was gone (She was home getting her degree for the majority of my enlistment). I could have jumped through some hoops, signed a different contract for a different MOS and stayed in for another 4 years or possibly longer, but my marriage was rocky at the time and I was disgruntled and disenchanted with the people I was working for. So I left, my marriage got infinitely better, my son was born, and I set about trying to find some income while I waited for my GI bill to kick in. But about a half year after I got out, I just stood in the middle of my living room in the middle of the night with only a beer for company, no job, no priorities, nothing to do, and asked myself, "Well... what the fuck now?". I haven't quite recovered from the realization that back home, I have none of the brothers and sisters I made when I was in, no objective, no motivation to get anything done or even work out anymore because there's no goal or objective that I care enough to work for here. I'm now a stay at home dad, going to school as a full time student, and the only thing that keeps running through my mind every day when I wake up is, "Get your degree. Get back in as an officer. Go fulfill your mission that you left halfway done.", and I can't tell my wife that because it's obvious my wife is happier now that I'm back home. Hell, i'm not even sure I'm willing to put them through it a second time, especially now that my son is getting old enough to make sense of the things going on around him. It's rough getting out of the military, and there's no amount of preparations you can make to transition 100% smooth. Just want to vent here to people I can't see and don't know, because my family doesn't want to hear it ("you got out by your own decision, suck it up" -Dragon/mother-in-law), and I'm not inclined to talking with my classmates since they're all 6-7 years younger than me and can't relate at all.
TLDR: Got out, civilian life sucks, want to get back in.

Oh, and please, for the love of god, don't tell me "thank you for your service/sacrifice/whateveryousayhere". I didn't do anything to sacrifice my time or body since A) I wanted to go, and the best times of my life have been while I was deployed, making the mission happen and I still feel like I have a lot more I left undone, and B) I never directly saw combat, I never came under fire, I came home whole and healthy when others I knew did not. There's men and women who deserve praise for what they did, but I don't count myself among them.