LetsBuildSnowman
81130
2604
107
Jun 30, 2020 1:19 PM
LetsBuildSnowman
81130
2604
107
JagCanDin
Ah yes, this is a lovely beer. Quite hit the mark on my taste buds of sensation. Me, 24 years old today.
jery007
"Dada, I peed in my mouth" my 3 year old said. Very proudly. She still talks about it - she's 8! I bet she'll love it when I mention later
Snooj
Kids do say some weird stuff. When mine was five he said "This is a long episode!" and when I asked of what he said "Of this whole world."
Snooj
That was many years ago but it feels far more appropriate now.
penzick
That sounds like a 5 year old. Equal parts depth, rhetoric and cluelessness. [I mean that in a complimentary way.]
ILikedTheirOldStuffBetter
"Religion is the opiate of the masses." - my five-year,old, who's been flirting with Marxism
lukeeoin365
Dumb little shit never heard of Alexandria then?
onikame
"I want to use my Big Head potion. It makes my head sooooo big!" -my 3 yr old, trying to fight a minotaur.
TheVermonster
I believe it. Most people don't realize how smart kids can be because they vaccinate them so young. Just a little autism goes a long way. /s
DarkVoivod
I find it incredibely unlikely such young children have uttered such eloquent insights, said my four year old.
Applepotamus
LiteCow
"A thought transfixed me: for the first time in my life I saw the truth as it is set into song by so many poets, proclaimed as the final-
LiteCow
wisdom by so many thinkers. The truth—that love is the ultimate and the highest goal to which man can aspire." -My neighbors dog
ParallelParkingInABurka
TheLegionofDoom
Daddy my penis is standing! - my actual 2 year old. Rebecca you punk bitch
Esdog
You either work hard now or work hard later--my 6 week old lizard.
Nurich
SmokyDoggg
"Life, like death, is a meaningless waltz danced by fools" - my 5 year old nephew
ulefdoor12
Her child sounds like a stupid pretentious fuckhead. If I ever see that three year old I'll choke slam him
shinyRK9
"Mother, this physical form is limited" - my 4 day old daughter
NursePaulFlowers
Fuck. -Me, 29
SergeiBoobtitsky
Oh fuck off Rebecca, he did not say that.
Inarticulated
Boobtitsky.. I love your name
SergeiBoobtitsky
ismysphic
ismysphic
Legitimately an underrated thread
Anthroposapien
“I think, therefore I am” - heard during an ultrasound of a growing fetus.
unfocusedmoss
"We are nothing but specks of dust clinging to a rock floating through the infinite."- My cat.
BestUsernameICouldThinkOf
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extinct_language
Blackanddeckerpeckerwrecker
"I'm a boobie! I'm a boobie!" - my son when he was 3 and I took him to Target and he put a bra on his head and ran around.
ProphetOfTheOldOnes
My son ended slavery, won 6 Olympic gold medals and invented oxygen before the age of 2
NotTinyPancakes
But did he say he did?
RoodKontjeAapje
That's one athletic-ass cyanobacterium you've got there. Whose name is Abraham.
DrewBerg
"Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding" -my dog.
daemogorgon
You should start taking your meds again.
Applepotamus
Hoiloidl
And the name of that dog? Albert Einstein.
Ragnar2099
I don't believe you. That sounds more like something your cat would say not your dog
DrewBerg
How dare you question my dog's intelligence. Also, I would never have a cat as a pet. They're far too nihilistic.
jikanwalker
“Con un 6 y un 4, hago la cara de tu retrato. “
ManodeDios
That's my favorite poet, I didn't know anyone else read Albert Einstein!
UchihaAuggie
This had me laughing for a solid minute. I wasn't ready
tabirdie20110
Your dog is pretty damn smart—what are you feeding ‘em??? Haha
Sirtopumhat
"you exist to serve my whims" - my Cat via body language and eye contact.
DocTanner
Mine communicates that through biting me.
SillyGoat
Yeah, that one seems plausible
tanneberger2
"A gu gu" - my 2 months old
penzick
"No one was ever eloquent by trying to be eloquent but only by being so." -My hamster of your 2 month old
ParallelParkingInABurka
Oh fuck off tanneberger2 he did not say that
nebuchadnezzarispooping
"Wtf is rebecca such a lying bitch?" - my 3 year old
Shuey
??? I believe that one
fbutt09
Plot twist: Rebecca escaped from the asylum. She was never a mother to a child. Dun dun dun.
ZombieZooZombieZoo
"Why must adults concoct such falsifications to try to fill in the empty hole, left there by the crass consumerism of modern life?" My cat
MrPlinkett
There are plenty of books we’ve lost. There’s like over 100 books of Livy we don’t have.
pm1001
The entire library of Alexandria
xaviraan
So, your toddler said that, or..?
Lifk
We also lost the word "flurt".
emu314159127001
So much in the Library of Alexandria wasn't found anywhere else.
IAmDrBanner
There are entire languages that are dead.
ChristopherEvans1
Yeah what about the library in Alexandria?
RocketrySurgeon
Meh. Realistically there probably wasn't much in Alexandria that didn't have copies elsewhere that wasn't just local commentary.
Nengex
What if all the books burned at the Library of Alexandria waa really just a bunch of AU furry fanfiction and nothing of value was lost?
escudonbk
Let us hope.
ChristopherEvans1
One mans trash...
Prowler2142
Most of what the library held were shipping manifests because the city had a law about copies of everything going into the library.
donorkort
You mean like all those scriptures where Zeus screwed practically one of each animal to create a bunch of monsters?
Cavalrysword
"To be or not to be, that is the question", said my newborn.
tabirdie20110
They let my newborn play “stairway to heaven “ in the guitar shop....
IamRodHull
Whether it is nobler in the mind to suffer the outrageous slings and arrows of strewn lego pieces across the lounge floor
ClemFandangoAskingCanYouHearMe
"This human form is limited", said my newborn.
yeoldefrog
“Love feels like a great misfortune, a monstrous parasite, a permanent state of emergency that ruins all small pleasures.” - My 2 year old
MyHarryPotterHasHogwarts
Your 2 year old doesn't happen to be Stewie Griffin, right?
fbutt09
Oh funk off yeoldefrog he did not say that.
Flortzweich
"Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone – we find it with another.” - an earthworm I dug up once
theleftmostpotato
"This vessel is frail, and it hungers, where is my juicebox?" -my 2 yr old, floating 1 foot off the ground, his eyes blacker than the abyss
HoneyBunchesOfStoats
I could kind of see a small child saying that if their parents are weird enough
MisplayMastermind
My son "banana toaster?"
PotatSuperKing
"Plagiarism is the real parasite here, yo." My 18 month old.
aworkoffiction
Well I’m sure he said it less articulately or maybe sub textually
Wankathon
"I shut myself again" - My 30 year old
IdDoiT
Oh fuck off yeoldefrog your 2 year old did not say that
DooksandPooks
“Wanting to be someone else is a waste of who you are.” -my 1 year old parrot.
stabthecrab
Oh fuck off Dooksandpooks he did not say that
GodzillaBoomingMarketOfDiabetes
Antidisesaishmentarism is spelled exactly how it sounds (my sperm before it's even a reached the egg to become a fetus)
DeeJeigh
Not a very smart sperm/egg combo (since they spelled it wrong!) :p
GodzillaBoomingMarketOfDiabetes
I did notice that error, and spell check said it was right ?.
4PawAngelOwner
Like you can trust every thing a computer does.
QuitLookinAtMineAim
Your spellcheck is full of shit man
GodzillaBoomingMarketOfDiabetes
I agree
DukeSamuelVimes
I have no idea for sure but are you trying to say antidisestablishmentarianism? In which case the idea would be right in that it is certainl
DukeSamuelVimes
y one of the easiest 28 letter words to spell in the English language. But really that only shows that your sperm is also a fuck of a lot s
DukeSamuelVimes
marter than you since you still managed to spell it wrong.
GodzillaBoomingMarketOfDiabetes
My sperm might be smarter than me, but user error occurs, in this case your wording is right and spell check is what has fucked me over.
DukeSamuelVimes
How sad, best get a new spell check.
GodzillaBoomingMarketOfDiabetes
Fu KKK youuuuu7uu
Threadnomancer
You're 2 year old wrote pride and prejudice?
Sleptiq
No, you are 2 year old!