inolongercareaboutthis
98302
2738
63
Mar 3, 2020 1:02 AM
inolongercareaboutthis
98302
2738
63
phydaux4242
That's some quality parenting right there.
iTradedmybikeForaBagofGardettosStoned
Dad Joker, the father of Private Joker
xahul
My friends girlfriend sent him her panties and DI saw and made him wear it, walk across the barracks. It was a thin lacy thong.
borgmaster
My family sent me pokemon cards knowing full well what would happen to me. The drill Sargent knew, the sadistic bastards.
MidLifeChrysler
Hope Dad wasn't planning on showing up for graduation.
alecdshope
This is a boy who made fun of his dad's favorite movies when he was younger.
jetflight
Okay... serious question - what'd happen if some greenfaced private DID kick his drill sergeant's ass in a practice fight?
PlesiosaurWithElementsOfAnIdeaOfTheLochNessMonsterBoy
Well given there isn't (or at least wasnt't when I went through) close combat training in Basic, I'd be curious as to how said fight happend
YeeticusOfTheTribeYeet
bdesign7
My girlfriend sent me a couple letters with lipstick kisses on them and notes like that on the outside. Not fun. Drill Sgts love that shit.
UserSubHunterOfIndeterminateGender
I had a female friend join the Marines. I proceeded to send the sappyist and fithiest postcard I could. I got a letter that said "Fuck you."
spiffylookingnerfherder
Simultaneously sappy and filthy, or alternately?
idontevenknowsillymonkey
Dear X, I so very much long for your quivering fuck hole. Think of me everytime your pee flaps shake in the wind and I shall think of you /
idontevenknowsillymonkey
everytime my load hits the tissue. You may fart like a Clydesdale but you sure ride like a cowgirl. Give me some of that Honky Tonk. Love, Y
OutOfContextSci
Emperorofman
I can imagine the DI reading this in front of everybody
NickRivieraMD
Positively poetic.
idontevenknowsillymonkey
Thank you, I tried to keep the note short but loving.
bacci14
Oh so beautiful.
spiffylookingnerfherder
kjtodd11
Any of y’all ever made sugar cookies in Parris Island?
kjtodd11
Someone got a pack of gum hidden in a letter and our senior DI found it. Was not a good time 0/10 wouldn’t recommend
ninjafartball
Do they make you eat it?
stiner282
Hard ooof
Ordinii
I went Navy and my brother went Marine I graduated before him and bought stuff from the Navy exchange to include the Navy recruit manual and
Ordinii
Sent that to him they smoked his ass the rest of his time in boot. He is still salty...this happened in 09.
S4mw1se
My colleague decided to join the Army, the AVP of our department is a veteran so he took it upon himself to write a personal letter to the
S4mw1se
DIs asking them to make sure he gets enough PT as a joke.
wrenchhead
I’m Army, son is going off to Marines boot camp in the fall. Should I make his life more miserable than it’s already going to be?
thatguyisalive
Send him one of those singing cards, the kind that let you record your voice. Tell him that you are proud, then call the DI’s out.
rowdypup
I just saw this. This is what I did to my girlfriend. She graduated basic three weeks after me. Worth it.
DeVyse3202
Chebacca
DeVyse3202
Just do not send him like a box of any kind of food, they made the recruit who received it eat it all...and they do not care if you puke.
NobodyWorthThinkingAbout
Send him a large box of crayons and tell him you send him snacks to share with his friends.
killerswiller
As a former Marine myself, YES! DO IT! It makes for a great story later. xD
MattMcC980
dumalalee
Aside from the pranks, my dad used to send me current even articles and sports updates so I could share with my mates. It helped a lot.
Chebacca
Yes, boot camp is the easy part in hindsight make that shit memorable
Chebacca
Oh oh, send him a bundle of sandbags and say you weren't sure if they'd run out or not
klenik
Dying at this.
DOWNVOTEALLEMOJIS
That seems expensive....
Chebacca
A few burlap sacks? Never thought they'd be expensive...
ztygs
Postage on those tho?
rowdypup
Send them cough drops. Shits literal gold at basic. Also, send him a card that has a voice recording when it opens. And make it cheesy!
Harv17L
The choice is clear, as a Soldier and a Father.
quacker907
Enjoy your shitty retirement home. I’d never do that to my kid....
Ordinii
Yes. You already knew this you just wanted permission from internet weirdos.
wrenchhead
Of course. As soon as I saw this I knew I had to do something like it. Maybe even put some “Go Army” stickers on the box.
Mack1986
Send him a list of marine facts and spell marine lower case to piss them off. Like hoa devil dogs is a made up title they gave themselves
chrishallett83
Just explain in detail about how the US marines are total pussies compared to the British Royal Marines.
Mack1986
Or WW2 Pacific theater was still 2/3rds Army. Or the blood stripe was copied from the army and all the stories about it are fake
TheGriffin
The pacific theater? Thems fighting words
CannabalisticSpaceRapArtist
spun me up for a sec, until I reread it. They do their intended and will be a treat for the DIs.
Mack1986
I mean I'm still saying true facts
Mack1986
Facts. 22 Army Divisions. 6 marine divisions.
MrSticklerMeeseeks
Due to the amphibious nature of the campaign, Marine and Navy officers led the planning. Credit went to the Marines.
HotFruitcake
Send Pro Bars / Protein bars and a really encouraging note. He has to break a piece of and share with everyone while reading aloud.
chaos021
Absolutely. Sometimes, the only way to learn true life lessons is to suffer some consequences. And it'll be fun, I'm sure.
rogerWillCo90
I mean like at least once...send him his favorite candy or some shit. It's like your duty as a father and a solider
AltKonig
Fellow Army vet here. How about we try not making life more shitty for others?
wrenchhead
If it was some rando, I’d be with ya, but it’s my kid, and he chose to be a Jarhead, sooooo.... ?
oblivianwithasideofpotatoes
Super gay postcard from his "boyfriend."
oblivianwithasideofpotatoes
Send a super gay love post card.
oblivianwithasideofpotatoes
And a box full of loose glitter. They will stomp on it. Glitter everywhere on the quarterdeck.
sharkwaffle
Might be worth the story
[deleted]
[deleted]
garfield529
I sent my brother chewing gum and he was still salty about it at his graduation because he got smoked.
oblivianwithasideofpotatoes
I sent a few friends and relatives the gayest love letter postcard ever. Just paying it forward for when it happened to me.
GreasySkadoosh
My friends sent me A LOT of candy. Senior Chief was more than happy to give me reviews on it all.
FractalShadows
Is that contraband? Civi here so I need explaining the joke
garfield529
Generally the DI makes recruits open their mail and then decides what to do. Nice things from home cause trouble.
ILikeBlondDudesAndICanNotLieButGingersWillDoJustFine
That seems like a breach of privacy. As an american, you can't open someone else's mail. I guess this is a loophole? Do you sign rights away
Dustorn
Implying the military gives a fuck about that.
Kralzaug
Yeah, you have no rights as soon as you enter boot camp... you get a couple back when you get out.
SecondSince
Well that's retarded. And agreeing to that is even more retarded.
CairoLen
Why?
GeekBoyChrisOnlySometimes
Civie here, but my guess it makes them dream of home, and might consider dropping out.
HistoricalFacts
It's all a head game designed to build recruits. If you're fixated on home, it distracts you from your new life and training.
Bokkanb
Because basic is all about breaking you down to conform. Creature comforts are shameful and you will be punished & humiliated via groupthink
NinjaCongo
Sounds great! I should join the marines!
Icebullet2020
I had a friend who went through it tell me that "they break you down and build you up again" and treated it like nbd, and I couldn't get 1/2
IAmTheOfficeAlways
Dehumanization.
DavosSeaworthTheOnionKnight
Because quite frankly, when you are being bombed isn't the right time to find out you aren't cut out for the military 2
DavosSeaworthTheOnionKnight
Good lord no. Everything they do is to put you under stress, to make sure you can follow orders and don't collapse under stress 1
HistoricalFacts
I wouldn't say dehumanizing, more recruit-building. Going through Basic requires separation from what came before, to prepare for ahead.
clid3r
My family sent me toothpicks, heat pads, Hershey bars and gum. Sealed them inside a pack of brown tshirts. Used them to trade.
majorkira9
AlxEverett
Sounds like jail... but more dangerous
clid3r
I got caught with heating pads (break them and they harden and heat up) during winter. Got in a lot of trouble. It was cold AF. Didn’t care
NarutoSexyJutsu
At least you aren't a girlfriend sending nudes in a care package
JapAnus
Wait how high a killstreak does that need
sparta67
For those of us who are as uninformed as I am. What would happen?
PlesiosaurWithElementsOfAnIdeaOfTheLochNessMonsterBoy
Odds on their entire flight seeing 'em
rollsteelertide
Lots of push ups and various other exercises. DS’s look for any reason to punish you as a means of increasing both discipline and strength.
valekseye
My favorite ridiculous exercises to dish out were “little man in the woods” and “on your belly on your back on your feet” sung to the tune
valekseye
Of “if you’re happy and you know it”
idonthinksoo
I'm kind of grossed out at how many ppl have liked this. You realize that's disgusting behavior?
NarutoSexyJutsu
...sending nudes to your SO?
idonthinksoo
Not that part, but if you do send them and they're passed around when received.
IPoopOnCompanyTime
It's totally do-able just got to be a little sneaky
AlmostScientist
I heard if you send goodies to your kid in Basic, the drill instructors eat it in front of them lol
DeVyse3202
Nah, they do you one better, you have to eat it all in front of the others! You know show your superiority
ClearCrayon
Yea, one persons parents sent like $100 in halloween candy, and they ate it continuously in front of us for the next month
deadsmurfsryumy
Nah, mine threw out the brownies
Imjusthereforthecomments
My dickhead dad sent me a box of candy, knowing what would happen. I had to eat it all while everyone else PT’d then got smoked til I puked.
RealBarackObama
1/2 One of my Air Force buddies was from Nantucket and was a life guard at the pool that Fred Rogers went to.
RealBarackObama
2/2 His TI showed the entire basic training flight photos that he got sent. He and Fred were topless. LOL.
AlmostScientist
that's not the type of goody I wanted to hear about, love Mr. Rogers but not into topless men. Thank you anyways.
RealBarackObama
Did you want Fred Rogers to go swimming with a t-shirt on?! That's even more weird.
AlmostScientist
I was actually expecting one of those old school men’s onsie swimsuits lol
Beholdmybarrenfieldoffuks
You’re lucky if that’s all they do
JustAnotherUsername1234
Not true, when I was in basic one guy got cookies sent to him and the DI made him eat them while he smoked the rest of us
vwbruce
Only the first time
MichaelBluske
They do. Mom sent 120 chocolate chip cookies (1978 MCRD-SD) and I didn't eat one. I ate the crumbs from the trash that night on fire watch.
homoneurotic
That's so sad...
DoggoPicsMakeMeHungry
Toughens you up. That and the beatings
Jaymezians
Which shall continue until morale improves.
FierceAndAdorable
Sad and yet so funny
12GaPoopRockets
Did the same and got caught, next time cookies were sent they went directly to the dumpster, SDI had first fire watch pour bleach on them.
CairoLen
Sounds like a healthy work environment.
RedBeardedTrucker
It's not, but the morons who signed up for it will have to deal with it.
12GaPoopRockets
Ironically boot camp was probably the healthiest environment I had during my enlistment.
MightyCape
120?? Sounds like she was kind enough to make some for the platoon(?) and yet they tossed them...
BaconAndBoobsAndBackflips
If my mom send me dessert. You’ll have to fight me for it
MichaelBluske
I'm 62 - you win!
StubbyJohnson
I'm guessing a drill sergeant would win that fight.
BaconAndBoobsAndBackflips
Military hand to hand combat training is overrated. The average soldier couldn’t be considered an accomplished fighter. Also moms cookies
AlchemicalLove
The MPs have tasers and you know guns.. and that is insubordination and at least a night in the brig
LatexAndLesbians
Fun fact: NCOs are actually pack animals and there is never just one of them.
NobodyWorthThinkingAbout
This is why I always write "And the antidote will be in the next package" below the food.
tihgfrfjiiuyggkj
My drill instructor had us write to our parents saying not to send any goodies. When one kids parents still sent some he made the kid 1/2
tihgfrfjiiuyggkj
Eat the whole thing, drink a bunch of water and made him do PT until he threw up.
Cuntortionist
Pretty sure this one isn't allowed anymore.
mercuryfusion
What isn't allowed can usually be gotten around. Did something similar in my basic in 04, whole platoon with spaghetti....
jmadams97
Glad that wasn't me. Would have had to run forever, or drink water until I died. I can eat a mean then go to basketball league and be fine
jmadams97
And Idk how/why. I figured it out by accident in gym class..Right after lunch..that I ate a whole pizza during..
MicentennialBan
My dad sent me a singing christmastime card...
MicentennialBan
And chocolates for my hats
MACWE
The guy in the rack next to me got a tropical themed card that played a beach tune when opened. Our RDC passed out mail right before lights-
MACWE
-out, and left without checking everyone's letters. So for the rest of boot any time we had a minute between activities I would slide over-
MACWE
-to his rack and say "let me get some of that" he would pull out the card and play 4 seconds of it. And maaaan, for 4 seconds I wasn't in-
MACWE
-boot anymore. I was chilling in the Caribbean and that shit was magical.