TheEverburningTorch
159876
3717
199
Feb 9, 2018 6:55 AM
TheEverburningTorch
159876
3717
199
IThinkYouGotAFineBrainJack
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDD-
themajesticgerenuk
Well I am officially making the biggest poop in the world today while reading this
anonymous6366
#44 yeah I'm 25 and that is a little too real right now
stmohl
#22 Her own fault. Everyone knows people with pimples are not supposed to be romantically engaged. Look at the Clearasil commercials, sheep!
raknor88
#2, mine will likely be "Oh, shit." Which will be preceded by "I wonder what this does?"
Devante
Mine will be, "Yep, sounds about right."
kiefpant
I reckon #8 would have died of dehydration before a heart attack...
gewalt
probably took a bunch of viagra or some shit
Arachknight93
Is no one gonna ask how the dude with one hand took that picture?
johnfromnorway
*Vomits all over my lap*
lungbudda
Whoa that meeseeks one hit pretty close
JudgeNotByTheColorOfOnesSkinButByTheContentsOfOnesDumps
Pay bills and die... I want that tattoo
QueenCousland
Account01
I've always kind of been surprised we dont have dehydrated cereal bars which come apart to a full bowl of cereal once liquid is added.
thecatthatsmellslikehoney
Actually it exists
edac2
Weetabix, sorta
Account01
I mean, Weetbix dont do that on purpose. It just sort of...happens. Apply 0.001% moisture, lose 10000% structure.
GirdleTurtle
Numbers for Commenting: #1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6 #7 #8 #9 #10 #11 #12 #13 #14 #15 #16 #17 #18 #19 #20 #21 #22 #23 #24 #25 #26 #27 #28 #29 #30 #31
GirdleTurtle
#32 #33 #34 #35 #36 #37 #38 #39 #40 #41 #42 #43 #44 #45 #46 #47 #48 #49 #50 #51 #52 #53 #54 #55 #56 #57 #58 #59 #60 #61 #62 #63 #64
GirdleTurtle
#65 #66 #67 #68 #69 #70 #71 #72 #73 #74
PeopleSeemToHaveLongNamesOnImgur
That roast me dude seems like a cool dude to hang out with. He's into sports, video games, and trains.
NorwegianGlaswegian
#2 If I die by misadventure, mine will likely be "Ah, ya bastar'!"
XxJackOfTradesxX
#71 Bond's response.
v
CrypticRuin
What's wrong in that gaming picture? PC elite here. Never had to slum it on consoles so I wouldn't know. /end sarcasm
IGetWetDreamsAboutTonyStark
#8 how do they know he masturbated 46 times?
flyelectro8888
???? 45 splotches of cum on the wall, 45 splotches of cum. You rub one out, wave it around, 46 splotches of cum on the wall. ????
Ghsty
Modern forensics can calculate the trajectory and number of shots fired.
NickelBackLover69
The fbi man
SatanIsMyMotor
his NSA agent was counting, damn they probably were betting on him
nitjob
Took a count of paperballs.
Amauri14z
Maybe he record it.
NiftyNips
I was wondering that myself.
turianfleet
His FBI agent reported that to the hospital.
nitjob
Took a count of paperballs.
NiftyNips
I like how they counted twice to confirm their findings. ????
ThatsMySecretCapImAlwaysHorny
Weigh the sock
Ivain
Meanwhile here I am paying a whopping $10 per month for my smartphone, with a $1300 PC that I saved up for for 1.5 years.
Ivain
I'm living about as cheap as is possible in my area without going insane from eating tastless food for weeks. $700-800 per month total.
SometimesIUseAllOfMyCharactersAtOnceAndDontCareAboutTheConsequ
Nope, its a Tide Ad!
cataleap
#1 No that means you're poor and financially irresponsible.
TezuNii
They're not even poor, they're just broke and financially irresponsible. If they were poor, they would be selling it off
skyofmaster
#26 hehe I don't mean to brag but I think I win this title for today
TinyDarkLord
no pic no proof
PeopleSeemToHaveLongNamesOnImgur
Well I'm about to sit down and go for the record.
TinyDarkLord
ImASnek
#8 is the hero we deserve, anyone wanna try and top that record next week?
ImAkuTheShapeShiftingMasterofDarkness
How did they know they know how many time he did it? Did he keep a tally?
tdawgcatfish
@deadsmith192
LadyMoto
Did pornhub just kill a guy?
ProxyPlayerHD
darkdragonempress
It's because their purpose is easy to eat on the go cereal without needing milk. That's it.
ProxyPlayerHD
then there could be an Alternative that would work like normal cereal and fall apoart when in milk
loonylogan
Now about the kid that died on Valentines day. Are we sure he had a heart attack. Sounds more like he had a stroke
definitelynotawolf
Krico712
Take your f*cking upvote
IKnowAllTheLyricsToTheSimpsonsThemeSong
46 of them
ThereWasNoWay
Do you think you could BEAT his record?
madman24
First of all, fuck you.
SkyZippr
You did just.
TalosTheMighty
I wrong read that.
SovietsRus
How the turns have tabled.
Divided181
SpoonOfDoom
46 strokes, you mean.
MarcelRED147
You cum after one stroke?
SpoonOfDoom
I'm a busy man, I need to save time!
lostulsterman
1234idontcareanymore
eeeyy nice Mike gif dude
aidanisfrozen3
So if he had masturbated 46 times gay would he have survived?
OdinsMakingSmores
rghtwo
Perfect. +1
IBuiltAFreakingArk
Who was counting his record?
oneillisno11
dangergrouse
Wait, that's actually a really good point.
GTAVivacious38
I have a dumb friend who didn't understand
NeverTrustAWombat
Stroke a penis
GTAVivacious38
Lol thanks
ArthurBooRadley
Tell him to stroke his penis a couple of times, maybe it will come to him. If it doesn't: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/stroke
GTAVivacious38
I will. Thank you.
Paprika6
You know....strokes can kill you and people also "stroke their dick"
GTAVivacious38
Hehe thanks
padinfinitep
Stroke as in masturbate, or as in medical emergency.
GTAVivacious38
Thank you!
Badgerpie
Jesus fuck, the tapeworm one is some nasty shit!
TheOne11111
Wow, nice pun, you win for now...
FeenyBoBeany
im glad i stopped eating after the pimple one
kirbyvictorious
Idk if real but...if so....ugh.
Rantaf
It’s not
JessTheMuthaFrickenMess
Fuck you, let me believe.
Rantaf
I won’t.
Chrazyboy15
That's one of my favorite green texts along with sweet sundae ramen.
zippydee
Thanks man, I got diabetes just from reading that
Chrazyboy15
I'm happy to be of service.
Pominator91
That and the ever brilliant "high fiber stomach acid expulsion" story.
PubicOvergrowth
Don't know that one, can you link it?
captainkirk52
.
ActuallyJabbaTheHutt
GTAVivacious38
.
onefaller
.
ActuallyJabbaTheHutt
mykeyboardisbroken
I regret everything that's lead me to this point in time. (Thank you)
HoldThatTHOT
"How many times can you microwave a bowl of ramen before it starts to begin questioning its existence" makes me lol every time
Iricus
Mines hackerman or the dippa story
TheOne11111
Mine is Anon loves cheerios, I'm a sick fuck
Iricus
I don't think I saw that, if you have it could you send it?
TheOne11111
I don't have it, if someone were to check and see that... that. that THING, fuck just search it up
KiloFive
You can't jippa tha Dippa.
Iricus