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FP edit- This was nice to wake up to on my birthday. Send pics of your pets.
For those complaining about the inaccuracy, the first blog's name is writing-prompt-s. It's not supposed to be accurate, just to make people smile.
Be excellent to each other and party on, dudes.
Dammitcyril
I'm not crying, you're crying.
LaughingCowWearingAMumu
@op, thank you for posting this. This is beautiful. Glad I saw it.
istealeverythingfromtumblr
I'm glad you like it!
shitbagactual
WITNESS!!!!
TheNortherner
Valhalla discriminates everyone who did not die on a battle with weapons. No if or butts.
The2ndHank
Find it interesting that everyone is saying 'that's not how it works!' yet Marvel makes a franchise from it and no one cares.
Thehumanracestinx
jetflight
Yeah, no. That alcoholic father's kid will rot in eternal suffering in Helheim because the Norse gods judged him worthless.
bootsinthebed
I live off of a Valhalla dr not far from a rivendel pl. Never felt more honored
suomilauluu
Good For You!!!
vorpalblade82
Brilliant. Now I'm in the kitchen trying not to cry before work.
candiduscorvus
...and then we discover that Odin was Loki in disguise all along, and he goes, "j/k cancer isn't a real battle". And kicks them all out.
beergolem
To die from disease was seen as weakness and would exclude you from Valhalla. Only "einherjer" went there; men died on actual battlefields.
beergolem
(I'm not saying this is how it should be, but that is the _actual_ myth)
sinbios
No that's how it should be considering people in Valhalla spend all day killing each other in preparation for Ragnarok.
CherubCow
Example of the pseudo-virtues of bad conscience; failing to do anything worthwhile, just invent a moral framework that credits mediocrity.
movethebongos
Battling cancer is mediocre? Wow. Grow a heart.
CherubCow
Red herring; my comment does not minimize the difficulty of cancer, it points out that survival in itself is only a common achievement.
ecodude
Mediocrity, dying for loved ones, being murdered by your father, fighting cancer, pfft. I did all that last Tuesday AND did the laundry.
adamwestpunchedasharkanditexploded
How about we don't send victims of domestic violence to a place where people fight to the death every day?
ATimeTravellingRobotFromTheFuture
Ragnarok is gonna be over real quick if children and cancer victims are being sent into the battle. This interpretation is cute, but wrong.
mechanimated
The entire point is an alternative writing prompt. Death to creativity and new ideas, right?
ATimeTravellingRobotFromTheFuture
As I said to OPs comment right next to yours, 13 hours before you decided I was trying to destroy all imagination, I didn't read the names.
mechanimated
What names? The very first sentence explains the entire post.
djhinn25
And who struggles harder then the lessers the cursed with sickness or those that have no choice in fighting ba and still stay strong ?
istealeverythingfromtumblr
It's not meant to be right - the first part is a prompt asking what if this was the way things are? Not saying that's how they are
ATimeTravellingRobotFromTheFuture
And the award for not reading goes to me. Guess I'm not getting into real Valhalla OR cutesy Valhalla.
istealeverythingfromtumblr
Haha at least you're not alone
dangeroushorses
Those in Valhalla fight and train for eternity until Ragnarok. Odin would have hit the little abused boy and told him to stand and hit back.
swenglishperson
oden would have killed the child himself
ecodude
Loki prolly woulda turned the boy into a horse and got it laid. He's kinda fucked up like that.
thea1997
You know, just Loki things
trover
Wrong Odin only allows the bravest and most honorable warriors into Valhalla everyone else goes to a different hall
istealeverythingfromtumblr
The first part is a prompt. It's not meant as a statement of fact, but more as a 'what if?'
FunEndsHere
The woman in pink would have gone to helfheim (Scandinavian hell) not to Valhalla
dangeroushorses
It's a prompt for portraying an entirely different Valhalla, with an entirely different purpose. Why bother if you're going to change it?
Handbookfortherecentlydeceased
Because prompts are for exercise. It can help you develop as a writer to write something short that you would never, ever write yourself.
mechanimated
Why bother doing new things...? Do you even know what writers ARE?
dangeroushorses
You aren't doing something new. You're bastardizing something else, and twisting it until it's something else.
mechanimated
That's...making something new...If you take something and turn it into something else...
istealeverythingfromtumblr
Dunno. I put exactly 15 seconds of thought into posting this. I read it, liked it, and thought other people would too
dangeroushorses
I mean, it is a nice sentiment admittedly. Just gotta deal with all of us going "this is the wrongest thing in the history of wrong things".
istealeverythingfromtumblr
Yeah, but at least I got to show it to a lot of people who liked it despite the inaccuracy
Rainblowjob
it's a nice sentiment, but personally this kind of stuff makes me cringe hard. you know how people say wearing stereotypically native 1
Rainblowjob
american outfits and saying "HOW" for "hello" is cultural appropriation, and demeaning? i feel the same way about this sort of thing. it's 2
Rainblowjob
co-opting the finery of a different culture's belief system bc aspects of it look badass to us, in order to make yourself feel like you're 3
Rainblowjob
also cool. which, you might be. but not according to the belief system whose imagery you've stolen
squidnib879
Yeah but the difference is no one truly worships these gods anymorw, it's akin to using the Greek gods, no one will be offended because 1/2
squidnib879
Everyone in those cultures are already dead
Rainblowjob
it's just disingenuous. you use the imagery bc you like what it represents, but then change what it represents bc it doesn't align with 1
LannistersSendTheirRetards
Was hoping for this reaction
InFin0819
Losing to cancer doesn't get you into Valhalla.Depending on sect, You might go to place worse than average death.
w0od
yeah werent the Valkyries the ones who select those who get to Valhalla and only those they favour dying bravely in combat?
ArcaneEyes
well they do call it "the fight against cancer". Lots of religions have had to be open to lots of interpretation to fit with the times.
isthistaken3
That first "prompt" is so damn cringy.
KatsDiscoBall
I can't say anything eloquent but god damn this was a good read.
NiskanensBureaucrats
As a Norwegian: stop appropriating and corrupting my culture!
movethebongos
As a swede: oh hush you, that isn't your (nor mine) culture.
peterhjp
As a swede, shut up.
NiskanensBureaucrats
As a swede, you should appreciate over the top "PC cultural appropriation" humor? No?
Pineappletrain
hes joking, its a reference to when ppl get mad for silly shit and then claim its their culture
Chandraven
This isn't how that works. A battle hard fought does not make you a warrior unless it's on a battlefield. Emotions stand no ground in combat
PizzaPringler
Ok, but a warrior isn't defined by his battlefield. He's defined by his spirit, and by his valor.
Liquidbullets
This post is that everyone gets a trophy nonsense.
Monkofthepast
Sweet stories, but, yea.
Danielchip
You are fun at parties.
chichiniya
But isnt any place where a battle is fought become a battlefield?
Youkool
Let people enjoy things
istealeverythingfromtumblr
The first part is a prompt - more of a 'what if?' Than a statement of fact. Appreciate the info, though
Coykoi23518
But it's not a prompt. It's a straight statement. Trying to claim author's intent is going to get you a lot of down votes.
istealeverythingfromtumblr
The first blog's name is writing-prompt-s, not sure how I'm claiming intent here
Coykoi23518
Ah that's an important tidbit. Author's intent is a concept that is not directly derived from the written portion.
istealeverythingfromtumblr
Yeah i get that and a lot of people are missing that this is fiction. I'm making an update to point it outas soon as I figure out how
MiaMulder
Historian here. The different halls could just as well be different names for the same afterlfe. Differences between the halls are barely 1)
Pineappletrain
You should be top comment, not all these keyboard warrios who are experts at mythology all of a sudden.
MiaMulder
You are too kind ^_^
MiaMulder
Relevant. In historical discussion we mostly refer to all the halls as the underworld, due to few sources providing a clear difference.
MiaMulder
Most likely, different tribes had different criteria for getting to meet the gods. But it is generally seen that everyone
MiaMulder
Got in, but just under the patronage of a fitting god. Odin takes the warriors for example. Freja takes another group.
MiaMulder
Source: being an historian educated at Uppsala University, surrounded by runestones and source material in the local field.
MiaMulder
This also implies that awful people get to hang out with a cruel god with a punishment, such as not getting to fight in ragnarök.
renardlenard
As far as I can remember you only go to valhalla if you died in a battle, as a warrior, with a weapon (like a sword) in your hands (1/2)
renardlenard
And if there was a Valkyria nearby to witness your death. You will be used as a soldier again during ragnarok. Thats not heaven tumblr...
JarlBalgruufTheBallin
They will ride to Valhalla eternal shiny and chrome!
istealeverythingfromtumblr
How the fuck do you remember your username?
JarlBalgruufTheBallin
Look at my description its longer, as i use email sign in.
conkles
I'm not crying, you're crying
Denamic
But Valhalla is a place for einherjar, warriors to fight in Ragnarök. You have to die in actual battle to get there.
istealeverythingfromtumblr
Please see the edit
Denamic
Also, it's not 'heaven' as you know it. You eat and drink endlessly, true, but you also prepare constantly to fight in the ultimate war.
IsoPropylPotatene
Valhalla exists to gather badasses to die again in Ragnarok. Those who die of sickness don't get in. They get Niflheim.
dagg3r
The writing prompt says otherwise.. creative writing is creative writing
SorcererSupremePizza
NIflheim? If you wish to argue the semantics of a mythological afterlife, please ensure that you know hwat you are talking about.
Eiriktrollet
People who dies of sickness and old age goes to Helheim, not niflheim
DickDastardly404
yeah, fundamental misunderstanding of the mythology. They literally mean battle. If the kid had taken his dad's axe and lopped off a toe 1/2
DickDastardly404
on the way out, he'd be all in! Also, Valhalla is a place of endless battles. If you don't like battles, you don't wanna be there 2/2
Itkov
There's also the issue of only half the people who die in battle go to Valhalla, the others go off with Freya in her fields
absolutebullshit
Wasn't there a rule that in order to enter Valhalla you had to die in battle with your weapon in hand?
Cambino
Yep. Because the ultimate dick move was to kick your enemies sword out of his hands and then strike the killing blow.
krapmyself
Raise your horns!
Steller1984
Buzz Killington, I presume?
swenglishperson
its about dying with honor in battle, not being molested by your father or dying because you got cancer.
raidleadergutts
Yeah, fuck this dumb participation trophy bullshit.
ML33W
But it's a creative writing piece. "Writing prompt: Valhalla, but open to more people". No need for everyone to become experts on Norse myth
Rainblowjob
it's more like "valhalla, but open to everyone who's nice." which makes it no longer valhalla. it's fine, i guess, but for me personally ugh
Onikou
I like this attitude.
adamwestpunchedasharkanditexploded
What if Valhalla wasn't anything like Valhalla. Alternatively what if the christian god liked mead.
RheaButt
It's more using Valhalla as a reference point to make changes to so you have something identifiable and easily explainable
istealeverythingfromtumblr
Thank you for noticing!!!!!!
TinyLiehon
Have you read the writing prompt "In Valhalla the most fearsome warrior besides Odin is Ted from accounting"?
Karpethian
raidleadergutts
More like "Writing prompt: Valhalla if vikings believed in participation trophies".
Elaan21
Not a participation trophy piece but thanks for playing.
derppatrol
I want to see a crippled child with Lukemia fighting burly norsemen as practice for the Ragnarok.
ArcaneEyes
You are freed from all ailments when the valkyrs get you, that crippled child will get to see how strong he could really get.
myr14d
The clear distinction between Valhalla and Helheim actually only crops up in a single source. Suggesting it was added in by one person.
Hobo42
Wasn't a significant amount of texts lost to Christians burning them? It's /possible/ there was more sources? Just a hunch
[deleted]
[deleted]
mechanimated
The point is there isn't a lot of evidence to suggest it was a widely-accepted distinction instead of one persons idea/belief.
Menasyng
Everything is made up. That shouldn't stop you from letting people enjoy things.
iamOzymandiasLookOnMyWorksDumbassAndDespair
Smugness makes you ugly.
Pineappletrain
say that to christians bruh :P
goldenspider666
At times I think half of imgur are idiots and half are only playing at idiots
DefinitelyNotMundo
But which is which?
MakeItBackAlright
I believe that most of Norse mythos is derived from very few sources, no? So I dunno if it necessarily suggests that
Rainblowjob
correct. we don't even know, for example, if odin's hanging himself from a tree to gain wisdom was norse in origin. there's a good chance 1
Rainblowjob
it was added in during scandinavia's conversion to christianity in order to give him common ground with the jesus myth (crucifixion)
Opunake
Are you arguing about the rules for an imaginary place?
Eiriktrollet
Dude, people still argue about this "christian god", it's the same thing
AlwaysandEventuallyHannah
If the skinheads died then they also died in battle right? So that'll be an awkward conversation when they turn up
PackedCatMeowingPowerDensity
1v6 is no battle for the superior force. It is just slaughter.
LLQPM
More to the point it wasn't honorable combat. Also, they didn't die, just got some broken bones.
webimgur
Read the story.
Matdredalia
No, because they're cowards. Dying in battle isn't what gets you into Valhalla. Being a warrior is. Those aren't warriors. 6 on 1 is no battle, that's just a lynching and *murder*. It's for cowards & cravens. They go to Náströnd and get nommed on by Níðhǫggr.
tarrbot
Only half of heroes went to Valhalla. The other half went to Fólkvangr. There was also Hel and also Helgafjell. The skinheads weren't heroe
IsaacZehPanda
Not a hero to us, but a hero to their people at their time.. all depends on the point of view (not saying they're good don't hurt me)
JoshyFreddy
I agree skinheads are great.
WhatWouldGordonFreemanDo
Even if they were following their ideals, 6vs1 makes them no heroes, Odin wouldn't accept them at his side
IsaacZehPanda
In comparison to the Vikings who raided villages and killed unarmed people...
LonelinessAndDespair
The thing is, despite different POVs, there still is a beacon - something perfect and pure. A collective image from all the books and movies
howaboutthisonethen
There's a valhalla for everyone. Odin is you, and valhalla is your kingdom
GoIIum
Which is where hell actually comes from -- the bible does not mention it :)
dandelionwino
I love saying this to fire and brimstone Christians.
EloisEris
It does... Judaism has a hell and Jesus Christ tells people to be afraid of the burning deeps. I'm sorry I'm not able to translate from my
LittleEm
We must be careful, as the Bible was constantly being 'updated' as contact was made with pagan peoples, including the Germanic people, which
LittleEm
the Norse are an offshoot of. It is believed that the concept of 'hell', as we now envision it, was added after contact with some of these
EloisEris
Language but if you are curious I will give you the exact references
igotmad
Well, it's not mentioned in the old testament. Only when kind and full-of-love jesus came that the threat of hell was introduced.
IFoldlyGo
"Your great story is that it took six of you to defeat one?"
Kalid19
They didnt die, they were just having broken bones treated...
giraffes4justice
I mean that first father was fighting his kid.
CE1Pirate
Kid* father*
giraffes4justice
Yeah them too
JasonInKS
Oh, Odin would have something special for those lowly worms.
Noroelle
No , hell would ... + the nagglfar Always Needs new fingernails for repairs
Doumdidoum
A feature of Valhalla is that you cannot feel hate.
AlwaysandEventuallyHannah
... really? Is that, like, actually part of the mythos? Because that's really interesting if so
GodEmperorOfImgur
Nah, those in Valhalla, I can assure hate Giants, a LOT.
Doumdidoum
I don't think so, Njordr was married to a giantess and Freyr loved one desperatly.
GodEmperorOfImgur
Njordr isn't exactly a happy marriage, and while we have a couple of stories of non-hostility. But we have way more stories of bloodshed.
Doumdidoum
In the sagas, the heroes of Valhalla meet their old enemies and can only feel joy at the reunion. I guess it's the glue holding that place.
VigorousButtstuff
Well, there is a large crossover between skinheads and Asatru germanic religious groups...
VigorousButtstuff
(They call themselves Hammers for a reason)