zoraniko
133998
2288
45
Jul 12, 2022 10:57 AM
zoraniko
133998
2288
45
Wifwolf
You have a tower? So unfair, I want a tower too.
InariusTheRisen
I met a cute girl at work and tomorrow we're going for food and a movie. You got this
youcanifIcan
QQTrain
I feel that
PrincessWasabi
So many meh dates on apps!! Last one kept asking me how much I weigh
ligmabolz
You probably have a better chance of finding love this way. Online dating was a dumpster fire
CommonRazorKyleWhite1000AnalGirlCornQueen
Hey i look like an ogre
dietluigi
I call dibs on the dragon then
cuntybumsox
Kinda cuts down your options, but I assume that when someone does bust through you'll be ravenous enough to take what's given
SteveTheEgg
Hey baby, I hear ya looking for a big fat ugly guy who is angry all the time. I not only check those boxes, but I also got a few memes.
HisDudness
Your Prince may just be a fucking idiot.
NomDeImguerre
Well, I'm here.
mktrat
I feel this
AllTheLonelyPeople
So, you're single?
Grimmy32
Misread as orgy, still works.
Slydevil13
do I send my boyfriend application via carrier pigeon?
zoraniko
I think that’s the most efficient way. Make sure you choose UPS: United Pigeon Service
Slydevil13
Now I must pray thy tower lies in the kingdom of Michigan
relsky
My friends literally call me a portmanteau of my name and Shrek, so.... I'm on my way. I just need a donkey now.
Omnimorph2112
Oh, I see, too good for an old fashioned Prince are you?
METROlD
@op Ive been there, here is what I tried: Join a book club, try Frisbee golf, take a college course, join a DnD party start a movie club >>
METROlD
>> join a billiards club, find a community garden and grow things, sign up for a cooking class, find a group that practices a foreign >>
METROlD
>> language (I met some really cute chill people practicing French at a cafe once a week) You get the idea...
LarchMH
Hero by Enrique Iglesias but you replace hero with ogre
ScatterJ0Y
Solid plan. Want any company?
zoraniko
Yes but we gotta go halfsies on rent. The landlord is an evil witch (figuratively and literally)
ScatterJ0Y
Would she accept payment in craft beer?!
alvinthatsme
HisDudness
Yo, Matt FUCKING SUCKS!
Zengrade
Shrek is love, Shrek is life
LeroyShabazAli
Was looking for this one.
IMadeThisAccountSoICouldCommentOnThisPost
have you tried being married off to create an alliance with a neighboring kingdom?
Hapori
This can be arranged…
KennyBlankenshipandVicRomano
I think the receiving party would be so offended at the prospect it would provoke hostilities
dreikommavierzehn
Where would you find such an offer?
Hapori
First, ya need some land. Then ya need some bannermens.
dreikommavierzehn
oof ... land is hard to come by. But how tf do I get bannermens? Actually that sounds like awfully lots of work....
Hapori
People who swear loyalty to you. Ya also need some good administrative and solid tradespeople, also some excellent farmers.
dreikommavierzehn
Can't even get one person to swear loyalty to me ... can't I just reign through fear and tyranny instead?
ihavethelowground
Large tracts of land?
Hapori
And a castle sinking into a swamp.
JamesInTasmania
Well, this is Imgur, so could be a few Shreks here! Will you have a dragon, though?
TheSlackerKing
I call dibs on the dragon
TheWorldAccordingToAtlas
Who owns their own swamp in this economy?
JamesInTasmania
Making payments to own mine!
Fhant
Eh, I have a hoard of dice so I think I can accommodate a dragon....
CriticalCritic
It sounds like you ARE a dragon
Fhant
RIGHT THEN, where's my Fiona?
randomwalrus
The dragon got Donkey. Fionas are for Shreks.
Fhant
Aww...
Wuz314159
You do you sir!
1LostPuppy
Just remember to use plenty of lube.
ivymantled69
Ralphpunzel, Ralphpunzel, let down your long armpit hair!
zenoshogun
zoraniko
itsthevoiceman
1LostPuppy
I believe thats called pegging.
HandoB4Javert
Ticmea
cokeysmurf
Best use of this I've seen lol
Cuddlebutt
natsumiru
PutItInNeutral
Plot twist: The ogre does not stop your wedding after delivering you to Farquaad.
MrRandom314159
Plot Twist: The ogre's in the wedding bed, and Farquaad isn't surprised.
PutItInNeutral
ProfessorDumbass
Ok...but what is your curse ..oh maiden princess?
TalkingSnake
Only watches Friends on repeat.
DeepThought420
Was gonna say The Golden Girls.
zoraniko
100% this
awildsforzemon
My brother one time knew what episode of friends I was watching after only hearing the laugh track.
awildsforzemon
I know this adds little to the conversation, but I’m compelled to mention it every time I think of the show. It’s still amazing to me.