Tilted9000
3004
44
5
"I'm dry stripping today"
Nov 13, 2017 9:46 PM
Tilted9000
3004
44
5
"I'm dry stripping today"
Medmobster
Can you describe your last bowel movement to me?
GreatAlfredini
I'm going to issue the kill command.
MoonMaiden26
No! We don't bite our friends
HohOhh
Will you open a child for me?
kuma47
She was bigger then me man
YourEx
I'm in the military.... so all of it
chillinoutmaxinrelaxinallcool
If you can't import it from the front, you'll have to try the back end.
Medmobster
Do you have sex with men, women, or both?
eion85
Stop helping me, just relax and let me do it.
Butterstache
When I tell you to "blow", keep blowing until I say stop, ok? Ready? Blow!
Tilted9000
RT?
Igotlostinusersub
He had how much (meth/pills/heroin/insertdopehere) shoved up his ass? Did he know he was going to jail, or was he just carrying it for fun?
Ulmo
Once you’ve smeared the lube on the anus, make your hand into a cone shape and gently insert.
JefferyBobJoe
Can you chop a butt for me?
Medmobster
Can you just move your boob up so I can listen to your heart sounds?
Mementodisease
Keep it tight
IsThisUsernameGoodEnough
Give ‘em the pickle
Infinidagger
"Bottom's going off!"
o0trippyk0o
I've done my bit I'm going home
yesthatsawesome
That tranny stinks and leaks
ChickenStixOC
"Fuck it, just slam it in there as fast as you can!" I'm a horizontal directional driller and this phrase is used somewhat often.
Kimberoo
You can't have them drugged or tied in a trunk somewhere.
procrastius
looks like you blew a tranny
InTheEndThoughItsJustInnuendo
Doctor at a free clinic?
procrastius
I was thinking mechanic but that works too
ColdestOne
Stay right here while I grab your muffin.
Medmobster
Run the colon until you find the tumour.
Tilted9000
Medmobster
Eeeeewwwww
j3llyb3anlov3r
"Send that piece of crap back to the Philippines."
craftycatdog84
Just stick it in the shaker!
skysailor93
She told me she tested positive for methamphetamine because she inhaled some of the fumes when her A/C short circuited (I'm not kidding).
skysailor93
Her: She's 13! Him: So? Her: That's child molest!!!
skysailor93
Me: How'd the forensic interview go? Her: She's a liar!!!
skysailor93
Us: You can't be placement for this child. Him: why not? Us: Because you have five subbed cases for intense physical abuse. Him: they lied!
skysailor93
There's a lot more, and, yes, these happened. Paraphrased, but they happened.
Monkeytron
Verbatim translation from swedish but: ”The dwarf hung itself!” I work on trains...
Phustercluck
Jag har aldrig hört uttrycket
Monkeytron
Kanske är en skröna, men ”dvärgen har hängt sig” innebär krångel med dvärgsignalerna längs banan.
Phustercluck
Nu vet jag vad en dvärgsignalerna är för något
Bongonator
Just did a head job on a 14 year old escort.
Tilted9000
Auto detailing?
TheMostBrutalOfAllUsernames
Mechanic
ValhallaBackYall
Its a cunt hair off.
PartiallyShavedSasquatch
Once had a boss offer to come over to a shop and show them what her cunt hair looked like after they questioned the measurements.
PetulantAssault
That's a machinist right there. Heard this a few times in the machine shop in college.
BugIgly131
Grandpa?
Colethebuilder
Blonde or black
ValhallaBackYall
Red
OnePunchGonz
Burn it
Tilted9000
Construction?
ValhallaBackYall
Welding/fabrication. And to be technical it starts at a black one to a blond one and then lastly the thinnest one is an R.C.H.
Iamfromthedistantfuture
Redhead cunt hair. Ah yes the finest of measurements
DewyVan
Contrare, pre-pubescent downy blonde trumps.