:`(

Two years ago I hurt my bad; badly. I couldn't have insurance so I have permanent nerve damage. I have been denied disability and the majority of the jobs I've been offered; I can't physically do. When I found a job I could physically do that was exactly what I had been doing (different company, different physical requirements); something I did for 10 years of my life; I got thrown out the door over some punk kid with no expierence.

I spent Christmas by myself. While normally my phone rings with telemarketers and odd numbers; it didn't ring once on Christmas. Not once. I know it was working; but no one called.

I need my car, it's the only way I can get to job interviews for jobs I can't get...as well as to the occasional gig that does put some money in my pocket. Found out the gas tank has about rusted through. I don't have the money, or the ability; to fix this. So I essentially have no mode of transportation. Worse yet; I spent my last $16 for a state inspection just for it to get rejected. No refunds or no credits.

I found this little guy in the woods; he'd been abandoned entirely too early. I took him and gave him a home. Yesterday; he didn't come up for dinner; and he didn't come up for breakfast. I've looked in all his usual hiding spots and he's not in the house. I don't know when or how he got out; but with the foxes and coyotes roaming around....I will likely never see that little ball of floof again.

Usually people have some kind of upbeat thing here; but I don't. No matter how many times I've tried to pick myself back up; tried to find some reason to keep going....it's failed.

I'm alone. I have no money; I have no car; I have no job prospects; I can't walk; and the little thing I loved and took care of decided he apparently didn't want to be around me anymore.

I don't have a reason for being here anymore. I'm just taking up space and oxygen. 2015 may in fact be my last year.