BenjyX55
27189
580
30
All music is just an aberrant branch of fish evolution.
In my day, we referred to kids slightly younger than ourselves as "squeakers". Now I have a 401k and a terrible K/D.
3 for 3
Get outplayed
Crystals!
Shaka when the bass dropped
This one made me ugly stupid laugh.
You don't allow your dogs on the furniture? I guess congrats on resisting millennia of co-evolution and also big floofy snuggles.
Oppression is the mask of fear.
Flesh and Blood TCG tax. The Arknight returns!
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astrangehop
Yes, also him losing his job is in the original story.
relsky
#2 which is why your star trek movies fucking sucked, asshole.
fartharder
#15 this might be the best of this format
EmperorCartagia
#10 Not true! If the Borg Assimilated Tribnles they'd take the best genetic traits from them, and that's it.
From my exhaustive Trek lore knowledge, I'd be willing to put down real Gold Pressed Latinum that the Borg would see the accelerated metabolism and cellular mitosis of Tribbles as an advantage. They'd add those genetics into the alterations they make to Drones to have them heal faster in the event on non-lethal damage.
But it wouldn't Mahe them unstoppable.
Moopsy's, however...
Base841
#17 that's pretty close to what happens in the book. Gregor Samsa's boss shows up to find out why his worker didn't show. Weird shit, but I guess that's the point.
newwoolmonosta
#1 Architects and Engineers for 9/11 Truth….they seem to make very sensible points.
Cholf
Still call em squeakers.
ExTechOp
#17 “As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect.”
Quessir
#2 Oh, we could fucking tell.
emu314159127001
#2 jarjar abrams is such a hack.
Neednoggle
#14 an actual drawing of my boss telling me how AI will solve climate change
Neednoggle
#11 this one's good, I feel this
MioTaalas
#6 "Heliums"
testzero
#22 eew ai
L0rdinquisit0r
#a the thing with any truly big secret is no one believes you even if you straight up told it. I could show proof the blood works, I can explain the pandemic was a test of control, I explain to you it was rigged, I show you an actual alien. What then? Will anyone believe YOU. No because humans like it nice and simple, if its too big, you ignore it, hide it fear it. Tell the truth, go on! we just have to point and comment and you go away. Plain sight or was it all in your little citizen mind.?
BrockEffingSamson
Except you can't do any of those things. You can lie, though.
Dvsusnx
Every real secret is safeguarded by a bunch of ridiculous over the top conspiracy theories of a similar theme spread by obvious crazy people. It's then really easy to dismiss leakers as one of those crazy people.
area 51 alien butt probes: experimental aircraft testing ground
9/11 is an inside job. jet fuel can't melt steel beams!: the saudis organized it and the US let it happen
pizzagate, they're drinking children's blood: Epstein island Israeli pedophile blackmail scheme
LegsAreOverrated
#10 In Star Trek Online, they did.
BenjyX55
Peanut Hamper?
JakSandrow
looks like Glados combined with the WAU from Soma.
StrokeFlavoured
#5 *Goes back in time and starts to break everything down*
OrkenMork
dinkleberg.....
CyberHexx
#11 Bars.
ThrowAwayAcct0000
#2 Anytime you want to know why Hollywood does something stupid, like 1) have directors make movies about stuff they don't even like or haven't read or 2) try to make movies without decent writers or 3) allow so much child abuse, the answer is always: MONEY. The execs think they will make more money doing it that way. That's all. There is no love for the worlds created, no respect for fans, no concern for if the plots make sense.
InnerBushman
#15 ah, yes. Existential dread. Just what I needed.
peeopeepeee
#1 Having conversed with many a theorist, they often believe that those societies have secret rules that make it so they have to let the truth be known, that's why they let people talk about it.
Yes, I suffer from headaches, how did you know?
SpoonOfDoom
But why would they have these rules? Who would enforce them? This just opens up so many other questions!
Fireninja404
My line of thinking is that they just fund crazy people who are half right. they signal boost the crazy people who scream about the wrong groups of people doing the abuse. bonus points if those crazy people also talk about things that are fully wrong to further poison their credibility
InfocalypseRising
"lack of evidence is actually evidence," classic dumbass move
JakSandrow
Kafkatrap Fallacy! Where the inability to conclusively prove something inherently unfalsifiable means that any argument against that unfalsifiable thing actually *supports* the thing existing!
JakSandrow
"You're paranoid." "No I'm not." "Mmmhm. Sounds like something that someone would say if they *were* paranoid."
0RocketCat0
What i found was that everyone who believes such nonsense are conservative religious types. Different religions, but same stupid beliefs. Small minds think alike. For a funny look at the history of it, read up on the "taxil hoax".
peeopeepeee
Oddly enough, not in my circles. Though I don't really hang out in conservative circles, so there is a bit of bias there
0RocketCat0
I knew people who came off as secular and socially progressive, but, if the conversation went into conspiratorial directions long enough, it would eventually come out in a very "wtf?!?" kinda way.
CandidGamera
I absolutely adore those magic rules whose sole purpose is to magically make everything that doesn't make sense about the theory magically work. Like libertarianism could totally work because everybody magically adheres (because you can't enforce it) to the magical non-agression principle.
Ladeduh
The abortion that JJ created haunts me to this day.
idiotsonfire
#2 That's why all of nuTrek is some dystopian shitstorm that relies on escalating stakes and hatred among us to function.
TheArrestingAbhorrentArrantAbominableAlliterator
Not Lower Decks nor Strange New Worlds.
BrockEffingSamson
That's much more Akiva Goldsman, who, coincidentally, had little to do with Lower Decks.
TheArrestingAbhorrentArrantAbominableAlliterator
Gods. And his "chosen one" obsession.
idiotsonfire
Never even heard that name before. Why do you say that?
BrockEffingSamson
Because JJ stopped being involved with Trek after the 3 movies, but Akiva is the writer/director/producer for Disco, Picard, and SNW. You gotta read his IMDb credits, they are crazy. Like 20 movies that should have been great but sucked, and also A Beautiful Mind.
idiotsonfire
Oh yeah, this guy only produces dogshit. As soon as I saw Hancock, I understood how "good" this guy is at his job.
MioTaalas
#3 we need jungle, I'm afraid...
SedatedSl0th
#3 this is set up so very wrong. Why is it so very wrong?
JasonWaterfaIIs
Jfc, thankyou! Saw this, downvoted and skipped straight to the comments section
sakm
#1 There's no need for secret societies when it's the wealthy, out in the open, and betting that their behavior gets lost in the shuffle and that any dissent they find can be buried or stamped out through their control of the media or politics.
VinchVolt
technically it still counts as a secret society because it took persistently bullying the government to crack the lid on even a fragmentary portion fo archives uncovering a network of billionaires seeking to manipulate public opinion towards fascism so that they can consolidate their power and keep sexually abusing minors and women from the countries whose economies they ravaged.
MisterFluffi
They don't need to be secret too, reading up anything about the old European banking families they aren't hiding, there are almost certainly people who beat Musk to the trillion, good chance of people that make him look poor but they are using the ultra devious technique of not needing attention and being boring instead of hiding.
idiotsonfire
"You don't have to be mad at the shadow government, you can just be mad at the government." - Milo Rossi
Iplaybadguys
#18 had this on a shirt long ago
BenjyX55
Temba, his hands raised
Iplaybadguys
BrockEffingSamson
Captain Rogers in the helicarrier briefing room.
Iplaybadguys
BrockEffingSamson
chefsoda
#2 It’s bad that he was given control of that ST franchise when he dislikes the show, but why he dislikes it is so much worse. He dislikes being asked to think, or having SF address philosophy, which Is basically the core of the genre. If you watch his ST movies, all of that is brutally clear
walterPPK
And the weird thing is that the Trek he produced isn’t bad. It just isn’t really anything. It’s very forgettable.
koalamonster
They're okay movies (really just okay) but horrible Star Trek movies.
KiwiGameDev
At the surface level it seems like a good approach “create media that can appeal to the widest audience possible, then sanity check it with the smaller niche audience to see if they also like it”. Until you dive into that a little deeper and realise by starting with a product with as “wide” an audience as possible you’ve got safe and derivative content
ThrowAwayAcct0000
Star Trek, Star Wars, Doctor Who, DC, and Marvel have been around so long that execs need to realize there is NO POINT IN TRYING TO ATTRACT THE GENERAL AUDIENCE. Audiences decided a long time ago if they were interested or not, and a good portion said yes. Make the movies for that portion. It wouldn't matter if Ryan Gosling was in Star Trek, I've known people who would refuse to see it just because its "sci-fi." Stop pandering to morons who aren't going to change, & give the fans what they want!
Rivvien
A friend to all is a friend to none.
modus0
Are there any instances in which a franchise (in any media) went "wider audience" and was actually successful?
KiwiGameDev
Unfortunately yes, but with artistic cost (which most people doing this don’t care about) The big example I think most people chase is the success of the MCU. Another big one is Avatar (blue people), as James Cameron made repeated creative choices to make it as generic as possible which did contribute to both its monumental earnings and its incredibly lukewarm cultural impact
modus0
Was Cameron's Avatar a thing before the first movie? Or are you talking about the second movie?
idiotsonfire
He only took the jobs concerning Star Trek because he wanted the merchandising rights to replace current Trek merchandise.
chefsoda
The whole situation with the partial purchase of rights that led to the necessary creation of a new universe was absurd. Then handing it to Abrams make it clear it was just a money grab.
idiotsonfire
He didn't give a fuck about the job. Nor did his cronies like Klutzman. He clearly didn't care about SW either.
idiotsonfire
After "his" trilogy bombed so hard that Disney isn't even trying to make content surrounding it anymore, he blamed the fans then ran away.
nurmich
He's such a fucking hack and it frustrates me to no end that he keeps being given control of major franchises. He's entirely style over substance. He should be directing car commercials. It's maddening.
stillnodog
Who is he..? I’m assuming I’ll know his name but just no idea what he looks like
chefsoda
JJ Abrams
chefsoda
He really is what we used to call a music video director. Very exciting for 3 minutes, no plot, no character.
TheArrestingAbhorrentArrantAbominableAlliterator
To be fair, sometimes employing a music video director to make a film can have fantastic results, like Russell Mulcahy and Highlander. Of course, you also run the risk of making something abysmal and incoherent, like Russell Mulcahy and Highlander II.
chefsoda
One of my favorite movies of all time, followed by a movie I won’t discuss. We had the original on VHS in college, and worse the tape out in a semester. Just to double down on my age, I still have a signed LaserDisc of the first movie!
There are always exceptions to the rule, but you don’t buy horses while expecting unicorns.
insaaanity
I'm afraid that is exactly *why* he keeps being hired :(
idiotsonfire
Before nuTrek, I had watched every episode of every Star Trek series, most of them multiple times. Every movie. Had over 100 books.
idiotsonfire
Since nuTrek, I watched Season 1 of Discovery, and Season 1 of Picard. I was in disbelief. Someone had done the impossible.
idiotsonfire
They had actually succeeded in making me NOT want to watch Star Trek, AT ALL. It took years before I could go back to the old series.
idiotsonfire
JJ Abrams is worse than a hack. He's apathetic. He doesn't give a FUCK about the job he's doing. All he cares about is Grandpa's mysteries.
solsund
Please tell me you tried Lower Decks. That show made the Star Trek universe feel like a living and breathing place in a way that none of the other series ever managed.