zoraniko
101695
1739
27
And now her credit score tanked and she’s been hounded by debt collectors ever since. Talk about awful parents… didn’t even give her a chance to thrive.
Mar 20, 2024 2:59 PM
zoraniko
101695
1739
27
And now her credit score tanked and she’s been hounded by debt collectors ever since. Talk about awful parents… didn’t even give her a chance to thrive.
pinkhoneybee
I am so very sorry to hear about your college roommate. That was an unfair shake. I hope she can will herself out of that environment and learn to live her best life.
Hoogemast
And here I am being provided money by my parents at age 31. I feel blessed.
TexMexHex
Doesnt matter your age, if you are a parent, or are "religious". Evil people do not become Good people.
DrBios
Not that i condone the behavior, but some landlords force anyone who turns 18 onto the lease or face eviction as a liability protection clause. Sadly, many states condone this behavior through state law.
lightfoot2
Ouch.
bikergeek6249
Financial abuse is all over /r/raisedbynarcissists (content warning for all kinds of child abuse). Very common for parents with poor credit issues to take out credit cards and loans using their kids' SSNs.
NotTheDevilYouKnow
Bonnedad
My parents stole the money I had saved for college to pay their mortgage
Leoncroi
I've never understood the mentality of "You're 18, you're on your own now."
Have these parents even SEEN the world outside their precious little box?
NotLuckyDucky
I knew people in the military whose parents would take credit cards out in their names and loans getting them in financial trouble. Similar stuff happened to civilian friends. There’s a lot of awful relatives out there.
mycatpoopedinmyshoe
The human brain becomes an adult at minimum 26 years old. Stupid parents do stupid things.
BHPaperstacks
My dad who has the same name as me, I'm the 3rd, stole my credit card and maxed it out. He did things like bought clothes and electronics that he then sold for fractions of their value to buy opiates. I was on a tag program to transfer from CC to a state school but had to remain a full time student to qualify. Went to pay for my final semester's classes at the CC just 3 days before the deadline and found my card that I'd never used was maxed out. Didn't have it in me to call the cops.
DerivativeWhy
My father maxed loans and cards in my name before he passed away from alcoholism when I was 20. I still have not fully recovered. I make over 6 figures and I cannot get a house at the age of 47. The US is broken beyond repair.
PhailRaptor
At least her parents didn't put their utility bills in her name as a baby, then fail to pay them. That goes on significantly longer and will destroy your credit.
FungusForge
I have strong suspicions that my father did this, or something similar, to my brother.
PhailRaptor
Was his credit score trash from the moment he first tried to use it? If yes, then it is in fact what happened.
ccrushh
when i was a teen, my mom took out credit cards in my name and never paid them off. I'm almost 30 now, and it took years of hard work on my part to bring my credit score back into the "good" range. now mom makes 6 figures a year and helps me in other ways, but I will never forget how she screwed me over
BobTheWeak
Contracts & legal documents signed under coercion aren't valid. It'll be a decade of legal hell to unravel everything, but that's why we have the rule of law.
[deleted]
[deleted]
BobFictional
Possibly only until November…
nero4ty2
after i signed my first lease i tried to get utilities turned on in my name, turns out my mom had 3 "secret" credit cards in my name, all >
nero4ty2
maxed out and months behind in payments, fucked me over for years since i couldn't do anything to get them paid off
VibratingNipples
that is flat out fraud, report it and get a lawyer involved if possible
nero4ty2
meh, it was almost 30 years ago, just one of the many reasons we don't associate with her anymore
AustinL082
Both of my parents have already confirmed that they had kids so that they would have someone to take care of them when they're older.
leodavinci1
Hope you (and any siblings) told them that was poor planning on their part and that you're sorry it didn't work out for them.
AranaDiscoteca
My parents took out a credit card in my name when I was a kid. They charged little to it, paid it off early, and I had a huge, positive credit history by the time I was an adult.
VentricularAnomaly
Your parents are the opposite of the rest of the commenters' parents!
xj4low
Another story of the orphan crushing machine hard at work.
oldguyexlurker
Ummm... waaaiiittt.... These are LITERALLY NOT ORPHANS. I think that was kinda the point, that they were being financially abused by their actual PARENTS.
AllthegooduserNsaretake
I had a friend who, at 26 years old and with 2 kids, applied for a mortgage to buy a home. She found out that her parents had taken out credit cards in her name after she turned 18 and had defaulted on $100k worth of debt roughly around the time that she turned 24. She actually forgave them for it, and was going to pay them back, rather than cutting them out of her life. I didn't understand it.
kaijuuGold
i let the kids stay as long as they want only condition is they gotta work and be good with finances until theyre stable enough to get by
PorneliusHubertII
Every one of my aunts and uncles took out lines of credit in their kids names long before they were 18. Some of them had over 20k in cc debt before they were old enough to vote.
Stefnos
how is that even legal?
twoblackhands
It’s not it’s called identity theft but people at banks or at utility companies have this condition called they don’t use their fucking eyes.
CuteLukePatoot
Pandard66
An older friend was in med school when I arrived as a freshman at the same college. She had to leave med school, where she was salutatorian - at least on track for it - when she had to leave med school cause her dad gambled the entire family fortune away in Vegas. She was going to be an amazing doctor, but now...
VibratingNipples
she should get a lawyer to dump that debt on the parents
zylokun
Not how that works. She signed. Nothing she can do
Shaodyn
Problem is, someone deep in debt doesn't have the money to hire lawyers. Also, IDK much about contract law or whatever applies here, but she might have a case if she signed under duress or was coerced into signing. Not that she can afford a lawyer, of course.
gluttonygreedpridewrathslothlustenvy
This is INCREDIBLY common in Asian families. The parents immigrate, do some hustle, have fucked up credit but have kids, then leverage their kids for more credit.
My wife is in her mid thirties and has owned the mortgage on her parents' home for almost 20 years.
SoftKleenex
Unfortunately that costs money she likely doesn't have
ChrisWsrn
Many lawyers are willing to get paid in contingency for cases like this.
invisiblemaniac
Not if the parent's don't have the money to be sued for in the first place.
echoawoo
Known as Judgement Proof.
hobojones85
Sad truth -> justice only for those that can afford it.
Bunnies007
Tangential to your comment: "We are all equal before the law, but not before those appointed to apply it." -Stanislaw J. Lec
Cha0sForever
Going by that logic why would anyone sue trump?
SpectralSpider
Or if OP is doing well, they could buy her debt and forgive it.
SpectralSpider
Also, if she signed their lease, does she have some right to the house?
TacoPoweredHelicopter
The banks house.
vicvalour
I mean, 2,000,000 upvotes are cool and all, but IDK how much $$$ that equates to
SpectralSpider
Nor I. But I know that it's often way cheaper to buy the rights to someone's debt than pay off the debt.
Schism666
And what is your confession?
elijajaja
I waste a lot of time browsing Imgur.
mikeatike
https://youtu.be/BXZjCudBVtg
zoraniko
Once I mixed bleach and Lysol together to clean and almost ended up in the ER
Schism666
pyr0chaos
Oof, the ol dizzy cleaning party eh? Thats a rough one.
DustinJL
My mom did something similar. Had to call the ambulance for her because she could barely breath. Was absolutely terrifying!
HannibalLectersCatMittens
But did you get the job done?
mycatpoopedinmyshoe
Yea, I did bleach and ammonia. Didn’t know. My godmother corrected that mix up.
DrewtanggaurdiumLeviosa
Wife and I can’t get our nieces anything with monetary value or their trash ass mother will take it to sell or spend. I hate some people so much.
HelpfulCorn
You can contribute to a 529 plan or possibly a Roth IRA account if they have earned income
Lostarchitorture
When I turned 18, first thing I did was go to the bank and take my parents' names off the account. 17 & younger, had to list them on it, which gave them full access to it. Random withdrawals by them for stupid reasons as a minor (pay your part of food, bills, and mortgage!) only to see them spend it on bars and booze, first chance I got, I took them off the account access.
nvstrfx3
Parents did the same shit with me, paying off their car note because it was my obligation, they were giving me rides to school, buying me clothes and whatnot.
VaarallinenJuhannus
At least in Finland the child can sue their parent if the parent withdraws money from an account that is in the child’s name. Of course the are sort of co-parenting accounts for children to learn responsible spending (the child can request money through the app and parent approves/declines) but once deposited the money is no longer the parent’s. For this reason I use a separate account for saving for our kids that we plan to use later for hobbies etc and others that are in their name.
AsABiologistWhoIsNotFunAtParties
I'm sure it probably varies by bank and locale but how easy was that? Did the parents need to agree to it and sign something? My dad's name is on my account, and while I trust him 99% and have never had an issue in 17 years, I would prefer to just have my name on there. I'm not sure if he even remembers his name is on it or would notice if I was able to just remove it quietly. I feel awkward bringing it up though like that it might imply I don't trust him.
leodavinci1
You shouldn't have to ask him. If the bank won't do it, then have your name removed from the account and open another one in your name only. You don't have to say anything to your father. Best advice... open an account in another bank.
1998wasthepinnacleofexistance
I once worked at a pizza place where the boss believed a mom that her kid sent her for her check. She forged it and stole the kids money for drinks. He felt terrible, so he cut her a new check and posted notes that said parents couldn't pick up kids' checks period.
NKato
My parents still have access to my account, and they haven't touched my money. They use the access to deposit my birthday money, and that's it. I'm going on 40 years old now.
tooomanystevesgotbanned
The American bank system is so far behind compared to Australia.
arrbos
I think anyone can deposit to an account, you don't need to have a name on it.
JefftheIntern
Always been the case with my bank. Anyone can deposit, but only I can withdraw.
3Davideo
I had similar. I had my mom's name on my account until after she died.
MacNero00
It's too bad there's no other way to receive birthday money!
NKato
When your parents are divorced and live on opposite coasts, it's very helpful.
NKato
I know this is rare but my family (aside from my sister) is a very honest one. It's something I appreciate.
daojones75
Same for me. I really feel for people that have these family horror stories. My mom is a great person who has always done right by me, and my entire family are incredibly caring and supportive of each other. (And all share the same politics, to boot.) I never realized how lucky I was as a kid until the internet started showing me what a shitshow family is for far too many people.
leadinurface
We only see a tiny percentage of the world around us online and generally it is targeted at you to increase engagement with negative things doing that best.
Imgur not as much but still really small point of view and important to remember that.
repeatuntilnotsad
FWIW, same. My parents and I have always been super close, all in agreement on values, politics, etc. until mom tried to empty my accts 2 months ago. Trust but protect yourself.
repeatuntilnotsad
I had my mom as an extra on my checking acct. I’m 32. She has never taken $ in or out. 2 months ago, we had an argument. She then texted me that she was emptying it. I literally ran to the bank and transferred all of it to a new separate acct. Haven’t spoken since.
ImScaredToGiveYouMyRealName
God that's terrible!
NKato
Wow. That sucks, dude.
repeatuntilnotsad
Yep. Just saying, I would never have thought this would happen. Protect yourself.
repeatuntilnotsad
Btw she is a literal millionaire with no need for $ so it was purely vindictive
MamboCat
You should not do that. If your parents get sued or the bank screws up or countless other issues, they can empty the account because its their money, not just yours. And there is nothing you can do about it.
NKato
That is a fair perspective.
SillySnowFox
Most banks don't need your name on an account to DEPOSIT money after all.
NKato
That's true, but with the way BECU does it, it makes it easier for family members to help each other without having to pay through the nose for transfer fees. :p
rayvn
Speaking as someone who used to work in banking: absolutely remove them from the account, if they do indeed have their 'name on it'. /1
rayvn
/2 It would be very, very hard to prove that the money in that account is 'yours', and collectors (esp. gov't) will garnish what they can
NKato
"very very hard to prove". Not really, it was created in my name when I was a kid. That makes it mine. Period.
stabthecrab
Wow. I had the exact opposite. My dad got me a credit card at 18 and used it to pay for all sorts of things that he would immediately pay off to get my credit score rolling. My pops is a pretty solid dude
QuintinParry
I'm truly sorry to hear that. Like many others have stated I am able to keep my parents and my account. I'm constantly reminded how grateful I should be for the positive relationship I have with my parents the others are not able to have.
kanihaznaiph
Sorry that happened to you, but hopefully I can give a little hope. It probably varies, but there are some places now that have dropped the age for a minor to have their own account to 16 & probably lower if you can talk to the right person about it. Having an ID like a state ID (should only cost about $10) will help. Checking still requires an adult on the account (but doesn't have to be parent).
AyatollahBahloni
TheHolyFatman
I told my daughter to get her own adult bank account and close the student one she had upon graduation. We would close it if she wanted. However, she's 30, now and still keeps it open with about 20$ in itin the event that I ever need to send her emergency cash, she has immediate access. I've never had to, but I've "accidentally" put a few bucks into it a few times when she lived far away. She never asked. It was always a gift. It will always be a gift.
chackstar
My dad charged me rent when I went back home in when I was 19. When I moved out he handed me savings bonds for the amount he charged. I never expected it or felt he needed to.
NilsyDK
My parents did the same, I paid 1/3 of my after tax income as room'n'board
ImScaredToGiveYouMyRealName
Aww honey, I'm so sorry it was like that for you. That gives me a sad.
echoawoo
This is a lie. You are able to open your own account without parental approval or management at the Age of Consent in your state, which for most, is 16. Bank accounts aren't considered binding contracts for the account holder, so minors aren't prevented from entering into them.
beeeeeeerkaaaaa
None of this seems right.
TheWombatStrikesAgain
Do you know where they live to make such a statement, or are you basing this purely on assumptions?
Lostarchitorture
By god, I hope it's this way today. My experience is from mid 90s, SE Texas Community Bank. And they sent all quarterly bank statements by postal addressed strictly to my parents so they knew exactly how much was in there every quarter!
thedarktowerguy
Our kids are 27 and 25, both with full time jobs and living at home. One of them pays for Netflix and the other pays Disney+. We don't charge them "rent" and are currently debating if we should ask them to pay their share of the cellphone bill. At times it's not easy, but we manage.
MrsHowVeryDareYou
My mom charged my brother a little rent after college - she put it in an account and gave it all back to him when he moved out.
polarbearbaby
At that age, if they have jobs, they can pay for their own cellphones and their share of the bills, be that as rent or a percentage. If they want to be treated like adults, they should behave like adults and take responsibility for their shit like adults.
TacoPoweredHelicopter
They are adults wtf. You should be collecting rent and they should be paying for their own damn cell phones. Your retirement is going to be fucked supporting them and I guarantee they will be to entitled to help you our when you need it.
TacoPoweredHelicopter
You are also not doing them any favors, they are learning nothing about how to budget and look after themselves, you won't always be there for them and they will crash and burn if they never figured this shit out when they were young.
thedarktowerguy
They're young adults. They pay their student loans, car leases, credit cards, insurance and pretty much anything else they need/want. They are more responsible with their money than we were and if we can help them to not struggle like we did, we will. Maybe we're wrong, but it feels like they're building solid foundations.
S33KER
Agreed. I live at home and pay rent. It feels good to contribute.
leadinurface
Haha same, live with mom and best friend all split house payment and all payments.
Mikataki
Kids aren't investments. Real parents aren't in it for the return.
pareidoliaperson
Uhm...b-but - my dad...
bkcantthinkofanythingclever
As a parent of a recent college grad, I just helped her pay off a debt collection due to the Covid fiasco. Fuck those parents
TinaH
Imo as a parent... my return is social, hugs and love. So I better invest more than just that first.
pinkmilkyway
softspokensatan
My child isn't mine, He belongs to himself, my goal is to give him the tools so he can thrive in the jungle we live in and teach him that as humans we can change our environment to make it more comfortable, sometimes that means cutting down trees and other times its cutting down those in power.
Hyndisfox
No, kids are financial investments. I want kids to eat nutritious food in school when they're young and to learn as much as they can. I want kids to go to the best school possible to get fancy degrees, so as young adults they can get high paying jobs. I want them to earn fat paychecks so they can pay a lot of income tax on the big piles of money they're making. I want kids to prosper, because someone is going to need to pay for Social Security and healthcare when I'm old.
Mikataki
Kids should learn, but they should also play. They should make friends. When they get to adulthood, they have a choice in whether they want to seek out the highest level of education and/or highest paying job capitalism has to offer. Another reply mentioned above that his brother got a degree in economics while in college, but settled into a job at Starbucks after working the high-paying job he was qualified for. Money is nice, but not if the job drives you to a worse place than you started at.
DaveSamsonite
Having children is normal a way to increase your income. We invest money in raising kids with the sole goal of helping them become happy and healthy adults capable of taking care of themselves.
DaveSamsonite
NOT normally a way to make money. Raising kids costs a fortune. Yet we invest in them.
mikebaxter18350
Kids are investments in a better future.
Sageypie
Idk. As a parent, I'm in it for the return. I'm investing goodwill and kindness into my kids, and the hope is that I'll see that grow tenfold in the future, and have them put that out into the world.
....and also investing time in teaching them DnD, so that I'll have a live in campaign group. Kindness and DnD. Two returns I'm going for.
germican12
Tell that to all the parents in third world countries that need labor to help on the farm lol... Sure, this girl should not have had to drop out of college but that doesn't mean that kids aren't investments. Furthermore, the fact that this surely happened in the USA means that the third world rules apply, as there is no social security network and college costs are insane.
GabbyJayYay
That happens in the US too. But instead of farm labor, these shitty parents are investing on a kid solely so that someone will be taking care of them when they get old
lurkyloos
My biological parents ended their relationship with me when I was six. I wasn’t a good investment. Until I turned 18 my mother would say “I’m not wasting money on you” when I needed a new coat, shoes, food. They are evil people. They treated six kids as investments.
DeanOMiite
I'm sorry to hear that. I don't even know you but you deserve so much better than that. We all do. I hope that you've made peace with that and are living a great life.
lurkyloos
Thank you for your kindness. I’m trying to live a great life, but PTSD can be a roadblock. I’m working with a trauma therapist via EMDR to try to make space for a better life. https://www.emdr.com/what-is-emdr/
flyingmonkeystick
Even if they did want to use you as investment…did they expect a six year old to be able to generate returns already? You’d need to invest at least until they can get an actual job. And the dumbfucks did this six times?
lurkyloos
Long story short, I was abused by the neighbors when I was 6. My narcissistic biological mother couldn’t accept that this happened to her son and daughter *while she was downstairs*. I eventually told a teacher what happened, Child Protective Services tried to intervene. So, my parents saw me as a lost cause, I’d never love them so why should they clothe, feed and help me anymore? I was a liability. I’ve written about what happened, link is in my bio.
beatmacster
That is… that’s awful. I’m sorry to hear that.
lurkyloos
Thank you for your kind words. I’m working through it with therapy and medications. It has been a long journey to try to see value in myself.
RunsNakedThroughSwamps
My god... How can you have that much contempt for your own kids yet choose to have SIX? Sorry you had to go through that
lurkyloos
Thank you for your kindness. I have a great therapist and medications.
My biological parents are both narcissists and extreme far right “Christian” Conservatives. Having many kids is an expectation of their religion.
LumpPump
oof the quiverfull cult side of things.. you poor thing glad you are getting the help you need from your other comments here. good luck out there