BrandonMoon
211133
5331
90
Jul 10, 2017 4:20 PM
BrandonMoon
211133
5331
90
TrumpIsAFelon
Falling into a crevice that you can't get out of and waiting for the sun to go supernova
Sionas
Immortality is more of a curse
pleasemakemeabird
Finding out that your body can be destroyed leaving only your consciousness. Unable to do anything for eternity completely aware.
BravadoAvacado
• Seeing all the misconceptions about history that you know are false, but you can't say anything about them
Braveemink
In jojo a dude goes to space and turns into a meteor, its pretty fucked up
WrenchGirl
Surely this is what drove Wowbagger the infinitely prolonged to go on his quest to insult every being in the universe in alphabetical order
WrenchGirl
http://villains.wikia.com/wiki/Wowbagger_the_Infinitely_Prolonged
fyndir
Woah woah woah. "villains"? I'm going to need to speak to a manager or something, this is outrageous.
WrenchGirl
Yeah, just the first result that popped up. I'm not sure either, that he should be labeled as a villain.
sepsisprospectus
Knowing that eventually you will get stuck somewhere, in a crevice, under a mountain etc.. and not see sunlight for millions of years.
JustYourAverageNerd
I would want to be immortal, but i think only if there was some way i could kill myself once the rest of humanity dies.
NoFather
Floating in space after the Earth and Sun are gone.
PhailRaptor
Immortal =/= indestructible
Deadpangod3
But if your standing on earth when it gets swallowed by the expanding sun wouldn't you end up inside the sun?
Deadpangod3
I mean, I guess if you were lucky enough be near the outside when the sun shed its outer layers and became a white dwarf you'd escape...
NoFather
Sun's gonna go out eventually. Just being in the sun wouldn't kill you if you were immortal.
Deadpangod3
Yes, but the topic of my posts was whether you'd end up floating in space or stuck in the white dwarf sun
deathcharge8
Well shit, that actually sounds depressing.
ButtThunderson
Having to deal with that goddamn hyperintelligent snail.
Putoface365
Getting herpes at 18. An immortal life with the clap.
morakdais
The worst would be that you would become a yeti...some bizzaro early man because everyone keeps evolving except you
IJustLikeToArgue
Working at the same job for a thousand years and apparently still not having enough seniority to get holidays off.
DefenderOfDog
If dogs go extinct you couldent even kill your self
ChaosChosen
The Man from Earth. Go watch it and thank me later.
balmut
The mental decline as the contents of your brain increases but the available storage remains the same.
stabmasterarsondamc
there isn't a limit on how much you can learn, it's your recall that limits you.
balmut
Sure in a normal person. We can only speculate on what effects living so long would have.
Frumph
weirdly enough I've never had any of these problems, mainly because the new has outweighed the old
BrandonMoon
There is Imgur
AbsolutelyZeroFucksGiven
Pros: Not dying.
SirDistic
How about the 100% chance of being trapped forever? Underground, in building debris, etc.
rbudrick
Why is this 100%?
SirDistic
On a long enough timeline you'll eventually get trapped. Assuming you're immortal but not indestructible you'll lose a limb or 4 or become
SirDistic
paralyzed for all eternity until you're eventually trapped forever.
rbudrick
But why though?
SirDistic
Because the chance of being trapped goes to 100% on a long enough timeline.
billiebitkiller
I wish someone would actually do Immortality right, like this, in any vampire/elf/other immortal being book I've ever read.
BrandonMoon
Try the Vampire Lestat
pakratt
Being constantly afraid of snails.
viskag
it's all fun and games until "Let it Go" is stuck in your head for an eternity.
swedishfika
Oh, for fucks sake....
thecolonels
By Fossil Collective? Pretty good tune.
slightlyincontinent
MysteryHamSandwich
Aaand...there it is. Fuck you.
WhyAmIHereIShouldBeWorking
Eventually losing memory of your earlier years and forgetting all about your past family and friends, the only thing you can never forget is
DoomSkuller
just like Ashildr from Doctor Who
twfeline
...All of the mistakes and embarrassing moments.
WhyAmIHereIShouldBeWorking
That you're immortal
Kaine999
Holy shit, I must be immortal. Or just really, uhh what's that word?
BrandonMoon
Having been in a situation that was horrible enough to not want to remember yesterday, I can relate to this.
TheLittlePea
Life imprisonment means something completely different.
BrandonMoon
But that also gives you a better chance of surviving a wrongful imprisonment. 18 years was bad enough.
imaginedear
I think immortality would be a horrible curse relatively quickly. Apathy (I've seen this before.) Depression. I do NOT want to be immortal.
Jatopian
As long as you don't try and enforce your preference on others, I guess.
Kaine999
You could say, it's a fate worse than death.
OldmanSerious
I'd be fine being immortal. Wouldn't be too happy if I continued to age though. It's bad enough now, with arthritis in my hands and neck.
GenghisThong
Anyone got any good puns that have stopped working because of linguistic drift? I'd love to hear them
Rialgar
go read some shakespeare, especially when they start insulting each other
nonstopfox
By my hill I do not care
QueenCousland
How is an pretty woman like a spoon? Because she's in-tea-resting. "Interesting" used to be slang for "attractive."
Kaine999
How is Vlad Tepes like a Tyrannosaurus Rex. They are both awesome. I'm going to assume you understand both puns.
TheInfernalContraption
A Roman legionnaire walks into a bar. He holds up two fingers and says, "Barkeep? Five beers, please."
Churlish1
I Thumb My Nose At Thee! (One of my favorites)
beedoubleuthree
People who think the English ran around calling everything "ye old this" or "yet old time that" are a real thorn in my side.
skippymcghee
I see what you did þere.
FrankTheCube
Trying not to think about the fact that anyone you sleep with could be your great great great great great great great great grandchild.
PostNutDepression
I think at that point I wouldn't even give a fuck. That's like 10 generations dude.
aceebro
After 8 or so generations a single person's genetic influence becomes totally irrelevant. So I don't think it'd be all too weird.
Mengmoshu
Are you secretly Lazarus Long?
eskamobob1
I get the feeling moral goal posts probabaly move quite a bit after a while
Kaine999
I'm 29 and already consider common morality to be ignorant, naive and short sighted. After 1000 years I'd be a super villain.
WhatthehellamIdoinghere
After 1000 years? I'd be a supervillain after ten minutes of immortality.
XxSpideyxX
By then you wouldn't care. Hell, might be from a culture that encouraged it. Plus the genetic drift is far apart it actually wouldnt matter.
whatupmyknitters
well... at that point you're hardly related anyway
BrandonMoon
You think your junk is gonna work that long? Probably would be boring after a few hundred years anyway.
JamieSmyth
You could always travel to a different continent and spread your seed there. Verrrrrry slowly eradicate racism by eventually creating
JamieSmyth
One homogenous race of beige.
automaticallymoderated
"Boring?" Have you ever had sex?
NickRivieraMD
I've only been doing it for about 20 years and I'm already pretty bored of it.
JamieSmyth
I think you're doing it wrong....
Ry113
You must be my wife
trippedoutgod
Ayyyooooo
OctopussSevenTwo
No wonder Keanu looks so sad all the time.
BananaForScaIe
WHOA
ItAintGayIfItsAFemininePenis
Bow before the God-Emperor
middleagedman
KillingTlme
Can't get it up anymore because no more human horns for sale.
Maturepostsandcommentsmayincludesexuallysuggestive
sometimes when he is with his dog, he looks angry
v
Buckbeak1486
Damn! That was just one continuous line!
Maturepostsandcommentsmayincludesexuallysuggestive
ChucklePuss
As an art aficionado https://media.giphy.com/media/l46CtynlAiRNzfsA0/giphy.gif
Satou44
Ya but I bet you never even HAD to guess why he was sad before. Haha! Get it? Guys? ... Never even ... ... :(
johnnydeeznutz
Why the 4 downvotes... this is what keeps me up at night. Who are you people. Who are you 4 people. Tell me your story
tycllns2
It's just me, I'm just a stationary designer. It's the only thing that gets me hard anymore.
openthedoorgetontheflooreverybodywalkthedinosaur
*thing about Keanu being bad at faking surprise when someone tells him people think he's immortal*
TheStealthHippopotamus
Well played
ReverseTrapTsukasa
Eonymia
Man, he must have been sitting on a really good pun.
GermanTranslation
Kein Wunder, dass Keanu die ganze Zeit so traurig aussieht.
FancyPineapple
I didn't upvote the post but I upvoted you
GermanTranslation
Ich habe den Post nicht geupvoted, aber dich schon.
BitchButcher
"geupvoted"? Do you mean "nach oben gewählt"?
GermanTranslation
Nein, es ist ein Terminus, der auf dieser Seite seinen eigenen Zweck etabliert hat. Deshalb wird er bei den Anglizismen eingereiht.
OctopussSevenTwo
:D
BrandonMoon
Oh, thanks.
FancyPineapple
I came back to upvote the post. you deserve it!
onthe6ball
how about being here when the sun swallows the Earth?
charlietrundlethegreat
Moving to sun just got a whole lot easier.
devilsbitch
you know i was thinking, if phoenixes from harry potter are reborn from the ashes, they'll be in near eternal hell when the sun 1/2
devilsbitch
swallows the earth
BigAdam
Immortality means you have a 100% chance of getting stuck somewhere.
QuiteADapperAsshole
I hate this logic. I have literally all of time to get out. Immortality is still worthwhile.
BigAdam
Well yeah, but how long can you deal with it? You fall into a crevasse, eventually it will melt, just how long that takes is the issue.
QuiteADapperAsshole
I could just not go jumping into crevasses.
BigAdam
"Good, I'm Immortal. Now to never leave this room. Never have adventure. And never do anything daring"
IAmTheSpiderBro
More like, as you bounce from planet to planet in the remaining habitable stars of a cooling, dying universe, you eventually end up on (1)
IAmTheSpiderBro
a dark ice planet because all the stars in the universe have used up their fuel. And since everyone else is dead you wander alone (2)
IAmTheSpiderBro
in the dark frozen abyss for all of eternity...
chrisdafish
There are galaxies being created though
ItsMattyNotDaddy
Eventually
IReadEverythingInMickeysVoice
Sun swallows the earth? Fuck that, look at Me, from Doctor Who. Last living thing at the heat death of the universe.
JamieSmyth
Or when Fenrir swallows the sun.....
StonesOnTheHill
Isn't that one of the best known downsides?
iCurse
Honestly I'd happily be immortal on the condition that I don't feel pain/discomfort. Come at me sun, I will outlive you
Blampie
I think by then i'd be ready to go.
Sensorfire
That's not little-known, though. In fact, that comes up pretty frequently when immortality is discussed.
decorativemooseknuckle
What about watching everyone you ever love always die
BrandonMoon
I wonder how tat would work. You definitely would test the whole immortal theory.
erischilde
Have you seen the one with the tree in space... Hugh Jackman?
dasRomeo
Google 'The Fountain'
erischilde
That'd the one. Thank you. He sorta lasts longer than the world!
pirate4lifes
You would be alive, in agonizing pain. Hungry. Alone. Wishing it would stop being hot. Then it is cold. Dark. And the stars slowly die...
Hilaritybomber
Just like Kars.
jthompsolatech88
Damn dude
Doublebeard
But if you could never die eventually you'd pull all the matter in the universe to you and restart the cycle. Eventually.
kidcolt
How/why?
Ionlycommentfinggold
Well are we saying invulnerability comes with the immortality, or that you just never age but are quite capable of being killed
nonstopfox
Immortality in the traditional sense is never dying or decaying. Basically you would stay the same as you are and never ceases to be
nonstopfox
Getting dismembered would really suck if no one was willing to put you back together
BrandonMoon
Immortality is often used as not dying of a natural death, not invulnerable. But by definition it means cannot die.
ThePortugeeseInquisition
I always liked to think that immortality does not come with invulnerability but with endless consciousness, so that you get wounded but 1/?
ThePortugeeseInquisition
don't die, even if you get beheaded or crushed to (not)death. 2/2
Ohhhlookaunicorneatingasamurai
But will you die a little on the inside everyday that you wake up knowing you can never die?
Ijustwannagohomeandeatcalzones
But then you are dying which isn't possible? Jk
Zaranthan
Yeah, but that's perfectly normal.
NotTheSharpestSpoonInTheDrawer
Wouldn't that be a Zeno's paradox? For every day, the amount you die approaches infinitesimal
AlwaysandEventuallyHannah
That's why the smart money is on eternal youth, not eternal life. That way you also don't constantly age but never die
IshitOnWindshields
Sounds like heaven
KirschPunkt
Well, couldn't you technically try to float through space and find other life? I mean, you have all the time in the world and can't die.
balmut
That's your own damn fault for not getting off this planet. Don't give me that "there was no ships/plan" You've had ages to set that shit up
youreagulliblepieceofshit
Not a valid argument. All planets will die eventually.
fastlaserjockey
"THERE IS AS YET INSUFFICIENT DATA TO COME TO THIS CONCLUSION" -Multivac
Xenolith166
GetThatReference.jpg
Dreigiau
We have the technology now, for someone that's immortal. the ride will just *suuuuuuuck*
BroadFjord
Plot twist, Elon Musk is immortal
Zaranthan
Maybe there WAS a plan, but it required another five thousand years to tech up?
CassiusPolybius
Theoretically speaking, we're there now, at least for an immortal.
Kilvari
Well if you couldn't come up with a plan in two billion years. I don't think five thousand will make much of a difference
balmut
Still your fault for not starting sooner. You're immortal you have the time to change anything!
Zaranthan
I started the day I leaped from my father's forehead. There wasn't enough time to invent time travel.
Jacxy
Should have tried hanging pictures in your bathroom, balancing on the toilet seat.
LizardEnterprises
You have literally billions of years to prepare for that. If you can't master astrophysics and build an interstellar space ship by then...
LizardEnterprises
Well then I guess you just fucking deserve to spend the next trillion years in sun-hell.
Ulthirm
plus the fact that your immortal just like... make a ship thats powered via uranium or something. unless you just dont age
Ulthirm
then you wil need something a bit larger for the whole food and water and sleep thing.
LizardEnterprises
1/2 A closed circuit food-water system wouldn't be *that* hard to engineer. The ISS is like 95% water efficient already, and we've only had