asusoverclocked
116044
3261
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Nov 18, 2015 7:37 PM
asusoverclocked
116044
3261
120
Cheomesh
I've never successfully had gay friends.I've had 3 - two wouldn't stfu about how unattractive I was, and the last was too scared of my gf :|
whitter86
http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/69/86/69/6986690042b593d9746edb591abb0106.jpg
ChrisBurgos1200
Fucking amazing
lifeisapicnic
And if you can't, store bought is fine.
Shinotsa
Can I substitute heterosexual instead of homosexual? And if I do, would store bought still work?
Poorlyblue
igotthatreference.jpg
Empitydayspizzacake
L3nd0
She's always so drunk
IKNOWyou
You will end up with something like this https://themoderngay.files.wordpress.com/2013/10/8296_1333.gif
PleasantPeasantPheasant
they look happy, that's nice, mission accomplished I'd say.
DrHotdogs
Someone sexually identifies themself as attack helicopter
nblaine01
New position name is born. The helicopter! :D
fuck123456789
as a gay man, is this not how it works?
JamesBluntThatSmartassCunt
Try it from the side
Omexamorph
As some advice, I suggest you not clench anything
booberrox
I do that all of the times.
Squatch9883
And for today's side, a delicious fruit salad.
ItsAGameOfSchlongs
Imma just let them Lenny/Carl this
DaylightRobbie
set me up? please?
LudicrousSpeedGo
BugJuiceComesFromWhoYouAre
Funny because Ina lives in the Hamptons and all her friends are gay.
bukketl4d
In all fairness, Ina Garten has a shitload of gay friends.
PossiblyAGriffin
http://imgur.com/FTNctJw
KarmaChameleon
+1 for Barefoot Contessa!
Napcrawler
PLEASE DON'T DO THIS! IT'S SO ANNOYING! I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE JUST BECAUSE THEY TAKE IT IN THE BUTT. I'VE DUMPED MEN FOR WRITING SHIT POETRY.
ScaleScentedAnalDildo
DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS
Napcrawler
I DO, JUST NOT EVERY COCK.
thecircuscitylights
TIL the food network is where you learn how to make 6 sandwiches.
donorkort
Shitty obesity sandwiches*
bardock
uh, 6 sandwiches on SOURDOUGH, give them a little credit, at least
whitter86
Part of me wants to believe this is cheese but I fucking know how that bitch thinks and it's probably sauerkraut or some shit.
jormie
That bitch?! I know you did not just slam my homegirl, Ina Garten. I'ma sick Jeffrey's gay ass on you.
Shannerwren
Well, your homegirl wouldn't cook spaghetti with a dying kid because she was too busy.
whitter86
It was a term of endearment calm down
TheBeardedDragon
Barefoot Contessa. My mum and I laugh so much when we watch it and I have absolutely no idea why
BonzuPippinpaddleOppsokopolis
Bearfoot Contessa**
DontLoseYourWay
she reminds me of treetrunks from adventure time and it makes me uncomfortable.
HouseMouseMN
She has so many people to impress & everybody dresses like LL Bean. Don't get it at all
TheBeardedDragon
I think that's exactly it. It looks like they're trying to act comfortable but it all looks so artificial and awkwardly forced
HouseMouseMN
Agreed!!!
hankthepigeon570
She had so many gay friends on her show and that makes this even funnier.
Pegussu
It's because she's secretly an alcoholic. Every time I've seen her show, she's cooking with some kind of booze.
HouseMouseMN
Oh that's even funnier!!!
Cholf
Im trans mtf, but could soooo use a good male top who likes to cuddle.
DinoKebab
To the nearest hour how long did it take you to come up with such a brilliant title?
TheGreatLemonWheel
But what if they're both tops?
CAPSYELLMUCHLOUDER
then there is just a lot of jerking each other off. Can't turn a screw into a socket
HannaTheGreat
https://imgur.com/SsivS3U
filthytank
Find a switch hitter ;)
valiantaesir
Have you seen Barefoot Contessa? I'd bet money many of her dinner guests aren't. (Seriously, she's like the Hag of the Hamptons)
MrNotRightNowButMaybeLater
http://imgur.com/F0pohks
Krakencrotch
You wrap them in copper wire and hook them up to your power network.
mikeatike
They will hover.
PENDEJO
like magnets?
mikeatike
Like a cat with buttered toast on its back.
squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeak
They wrestle for it
torsosteve
Sword fight
petsi
ERROR 5
lookatthepicnothere
Turn the top piece of bread 180 degrees.
skk329
They compromise so they can both be sideways.
BeneGesseritConspiracyTheorist
Then you're gonna have a bad time
derekjohn
They both get to eat the cheese.
jsktrogdor
Duct tape them to a poll attached to a turbine to create infinite energy.
CatrionaShadowleaf
Rock paper scissors for it.
18yearoldBlackDynamite
i hope this stays as the only comment and everyone just keeps adding to it
WallCrawlerArt
AdrianAmato
All my gay friends are bottoms. Should I pair the bottoms with other bottoms and a dildo?
Omexamorph
You just need a double dildo adapter. We've encountered these situations before.
SassyAssSlap
Trust me, they each already have their own dildos.
AdrianAmato
But isn't a dildo better when wielded by another? Like, a handjob is better than jacking off.
OverlyCynicalImgurian
A handjob is not better than jacking off, especially if you're straight.
SassyAssSlap
Eh, I can only give my personal perspective on it since everyone is different, but if I'm with someone and they're going to mess with 1/?
SassyAssSlap
my butthole, I'd be a bit let down with just dildo play. It lacks a lot of the physical intimacy I'd crave from the person I'm with. 2/2
AdrianAmato
True, but the question is: would you rather use a dildo on yourself or have someone else use it on you?
LaissezBear
You need to put tops with bottoms, chubs with chasers, dads with cubs, and twinks with Grindr. It's the only way they'll survive.
DocVolt
Oh god lol
MajinGreed
Username checks out.
Anonyfurb
Or we can just be alone and realise nobody will ever want us. :D
lordgreyii
Shit, I need a top to survive then. Where the fuck do I get one? At the store? How long do I have?
hurrication
What about the bears?
LaissezBear
Yeah, I've had a few.
GoodOlZR
Bears tend to pair.
WhiteyHead
What's a twink?
OnlyJustJake
oh honey...
LaissezBear
Generally skinny, sometimes effeminate, gay guys. The kind of gay guys you are likely to see on TV.
leeooo0727
the fuck's a cub
spookyjeff
But where do I put the fuckbois?
Schmedes
I want nicknames like this for straight things
shinagami091
You sure do know a lot about gay culture. I'm convinced the reason I don't have a BF is because I don't know what category I fit into
LaissezBear
Well I'm gay, so there's that. Categories don't really matter; what you want is more important than what you're supposed to be. (1/2)
TexasLeadFarmer
FUCK- WHAT DOES ALL THIS MEAN? GOD IM FUCKING OLD!
LatchHookRug
Twinks are small, hairless, sometimes feminine gay men. They have a reputation of promiscuity,
LatchHookRug
Tops put it in the butt, bottoms take it in the butt. Chubs=fat people, chasers=people who like fat people. Dads/cubs=older man with younger
MrChiPigg
What's tops and bottoms? (In word form)
narwhaffle
Us twinks don't have a subtype to match up with?
seir
I volunteer
KatamariDan
We can have anything we want. We rule the Homoverse.
narwhaffle
I feel like Jock is more universally attractive, but fair
GoodOlZR
The implication is you're sluts.
puddlejumper
What about the Power Bottoms? Or the Twanks or Twunks?
Omexamorph
I still don't understand the Twanks and Twunks.
PresidentialPegging
I was called a twunk recently, I think I was supposed to be offended. I wasn't sure.
Omexamorph
I was called it as a compliment I think. I just don't like how it sounds.
puddlejumper
That's a twink and a skank. Essentially a rag doll that's been tossed around from twink to twunk to bear to otter.
Omexamorph
Kinky
zstorm6
But what happens to the otters?
IlioHae
"The ciiiiirrrrrcle of liiiiiiiife!"
GaymerKyle
Twink chaser right here! I guess I'd go fishin' on Grindr then - usually I just practice my straight boy whisperin
implodingrat
straight boy whispering cracked me up. I imagine you in a bar, leaning over to a guy and whispering in his ear, then hes suddenly fabulous.
GaymerKyle
you have no idea ;)
implodingrat
;P
Rips4w
Im not the least bit homophobic, but its silly shit like this that bothers the more uptight straight community. Just have sex, lol.
PSIhateyou
So you would fuck women you aren't attracted to? Grannies, hippos, dominatrixes, psychos? Don't tell me you would...
Rips4w
That wasnt my point. To your average straight, slightly homophobe person, all that labelling sounds very hedonistic and depraved.
PSIhateyou
From the gay friends I've known, many are pretty hedonistic. But that's not the majority at all, just what is publicized.
IspellBananasbysingingGwenStefani
Besides Tops and bottoms with have Chubs and Chasers, Cougers and tomboys Streight sex has names to you just don't know them.
GoodOlZR
Why aren't they just as concerned with the weird shit the less uptight straight people are doing?
Rips4w
Because theyre straight. Im not their ambassador but I know their way of thinking.
SirDistic
What if you're a Bear Power bottom looking for a versatile twink top?
OnlyJustJake
this doesn't exist. lol
SirDistic
How would you know, "Jake from State Farm"?
OnlyJustJake
I absolutely hate that commercial. I get reminded of it every time I meet a knew person.
flyingsolow
But I'm versatile...
OnlyJustJake
Hey there! vers bttm here. woot
Luxzie
then you can be the filling
Omexamorph
Put vers' with [Insert Any Here]
flyingsolow
But you're never truly satisfied unless you're with another versatile or vers top / vers bottom. Sigh.
Omexamorph
True, it's usually a trial.
flyingsolow
People think the gays are going at it, but it's hard to find your type among 20% of the population. (50% of which are male).
FemaleINTJ
I feel like versatile works best with other versatile people because they like to switch around and you need someone else who will switch.
Omexamorph
Works best, but can always pair with most initially.
FriendlyNeighbour
truth
SirBedeveretheWise
Then you lose in in gay drinking games, and win everywhere else. it's a hard enough life for us.
flyingsolow
Gay drinking games? I've been gay for 31 years and haven't heard of them. Am I out of touch?
SirBedeveretheWise
Played Gay Kings. Turn over a card, the card says who drinks/what happens. Six for tops to drink, three for bottoms to drink, ect.
SirBedeveretheWise
Vers guys are under the table by the second round. yay hangovers.
flyingsolow
Maybe I just don't go to those types of parties then. It's more a mix of straight/gay people eating pasta and drinking wine.
flyingsolow
We try our best to be fabulous but mostly fail and end up a hot mess dancing to Katy Perry in the Living Room.
NuclearWinterIsComing
I... I understood all that! Am I "progressive" now?
LaissezBear
I hereby confer this "Friend of the Gays" badge, shower you in the glitter of Stonewall, and bestow a knowledge of John Waters' filmography.
misskittyamazing
Only if you've had a Whole Foods in your town for an entire week and you think this is so cool...
Omexamorph
Sneakies stealings our secrets
misskittyamazing
Only if you've had a Whole Foods in your town for an entire week and you think this is so cool...
TheRealDurdan
I may have understood chubs, but I have no idea about the rest
doubleormuffin
The only reason I understand the dad/cub one is the Walmart post from earlier, but I'll take it!
Lonecoon
Either that, or gay. Either way, good job!
Taur622
Now thats progressive.
flyingsolow
I've heard of 'tops' and 'bottoms' being used in straight lingo. i.e. Active or passive.
theconeofdunshire
I have some bad news for you, bud
ITalkAboutGoats
depends. It's used for BDSM regardless of orientation.
flyingsolow
What's the T?
theacidplan
can you explain dads and cubs?
LaissezBear
Both of the "bear" family; simplest way to look at dads/cubs is by age. Dad/cub can also be a dom/sub relationship. Think big hairy guys.
TiredOfTheBS
I've never thought of dad and bear as synonymous.
LaissezBear
You are also correct. I explained it this way because of the context with cubs. Everything is a spectrum though.
CuriousGuyPMnudes
So, only twinks use Grindr?
hwatL4bloopy
Apparently
Aanjay
Basically.
CuriousGuyPMnudes
Why so? I mean, why only twinks and no other types?
Aanjay
Because those of us who are not twinks and don't want twinks stopped using it because all we found were twinks.
CuriousGuyPMnudes
Oh. What do non-twinks use then?