And she wonders why I ever stopped loving her.

hey folks
its been a long-ass time. ive missed two(?) cakedays and have barely done jack diddly in the way of anything on here besides lurking and forgetting my password

Can't fucking believe my first post in ages is another god! damn! vent! here we go

it's midnight and i havent been able to get this out of my mcfucking head since it happened

for context she came in and asked me to move a desk out of her office, she got a new one from my grandmother (who is downsizing since she moved to a smaller house as my grandfather no longer lives with her). Boy did I fuck that one up, didn't I

I am not on good terms in general with my mother. She is awful and abusive and scary and I can't fucking stand her

I was already crying by the time I got to the basement (yeah i'm a pussy but it's hard not to be when you already know you're gonna fuck it up before you even start. hearing shit tell you that on top of it ain't no help either) and i knew shit was about to go south but i still tried to help even though i didn't really know how

she had me flip the desk up onto its side to get it out the door but there were stairs right outside. desk needed to go up the stairs. i was in charge of the flat, top side of the desk where my hands have no traction and as she continues to pester me to "just pick it up and push!!!!!" i'm sitting there with my hands slipping and a sprained arm whining until finally the desk snaps and at that poibt my mom just gave up and sent me off crying because it was my fault! and i am no help! and all i do is ruin! everything!!! that is. Apparently my only purpose currently.

"oH my god just STOP. just go away. Aleks is no help! Aleks wants to be a boy but doesn't want to do boy things!!"

TL;DR I'm a pussy. Broke a desk. Mom further solidified that I am nothing but a useless parasite to her. Can't wait to die, or at least get the fuck out of here.

I really need to shut up I'm sorry to disturb your browsing.

here's a cat with a cucumber to make up for my whining i hope it is sufficient. happy browsing guys