MsDragonarra
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Stuck at work for the next 8 hours, honestly wondering how the hell I'll keep this out of my head.
FP Edit: I love you guys! Seriously, you've definitely made me feel a bit better amongst all this shitty fuckery.
Your messages have been great and I'm glad to say many of you haven't sent me dicks, so that's great.
RoosterBrewster
Suprise? Sounds like a delicious dinner directly preceded by an afternoon nap.
Gianttesticlemonster
Well if scientific documentaries have taught me anything, at this stage you do butt-stuff to him then kick him out.
dardar2002
Call a locksmith and change the locks(if it's your place) or get help looking for a new place.
mariemcd
Be thankful you found out - drop him and move on to someone you deserve and who deserves you.
ThePaulverizer
Speaking from experience, you won't be able to keep it out of your head. You WILL get through these tough times though. Stay strong @OP.
MsDragonarra
Ty @ThePaulverizer
jucyblucy
I'm actually interested in how it went when you opened the door, what did you say? Did they stop? I imagine you don't want to relive it thou
derekjohn
Good news: you found out before you were too committed; bad news: you will take 3 times as long to trust someone the next time.
ICanHyperSuperDuperFistYouOnFriday
Honestly.. If he cheats on you, don't even bother wasting anymore time on him. There's someone for you out there @OP :-) Stay strong <3
MsDragonarra
Thanks <3
authornotavailable
This is exactly the plot of New Girl
FergieCorgilicious
yeah...i hope this isn't point whoring
DankeSehr
I was looking for this comment!
steviEa
I know this doesn't help a whole lot, but you're like Jess from New Girl now and some pretty kickass things come her way.
MsDragonarra
My name is Jasmine... so Im quite similar... probs look like her too. Hahahha. fuck my life
steviEa
You gotta sing your own theme song now!!
Wexicano
N7Drake
I find it hard to understand why people feel the need to cheat, but I've never been in a relationship so what do I know.
ScaryScarab
You won't, just be calm about it, talk to your family/friends for advice when you're ready (this helped me a lot, may not for you, idk).
TheRightHonourableSirFapsalot
Move on, erase all trace and try to forget. It'll be alright eventually.
Tigerhawk84
Same thing happened to me years ago. Bought gf her xmas present, walk into apt, and she's on her knees with her lips around some guy's cock.
ffilm
Dang dude, what kind of present would make her do that?
Tigerhawk84
Well it was actually the end of the 90s, so it was a discman. We still used those things back then lol. Had trust issues for the next decade
JokesOnYouHater
Mooch89
He sounds like a cock smith. Better off without him! Chin up, you're worth more.
IllegalDuckling
Did you at least stick your dick in him to assert dominance?
AndIHaveNoIdeaWhatToPutHere
Mmmmmk
You should click next so hard on him the way we click next on shitty posts here in imgurland.
SumDuzzle
I never understood that. Why don't people just leave if they're not happy? "Because it's not that easy!" Fuck off with that bullshit
theDpickle
So what your saying is.....you're horny amd single!
MsDragonarra
Very.
McKavian
If that's you on the dragonarra twitter, you will be single only for as long as you want to be.
MsDragonarra
That is me.
McKavian
I hate to be the semi-creepy dude, but...god damn, you're beautiful.
theDpickle
Too bad you're not in Texas
kantaloupe
Sooooooo, you're single?
Belgiandude
classic
KatyPerryCallMeMaybe
It's a good question to ask at this point.
MsDragonarra
I think it was implied? Didn't really discuss the finer points.
ratirat
Cool. Dinner and drinks soon?
Thesadghost
Is there really anything to discuss when you find a boyfriend/girlfriend cheating. Usually the only thing to discuss is "get the fuck out"
Rapturr
kantaloupe
I guess a better question would be whether you're open to new relationships now, but that's more characters.
MsDragonarra
Ahahah, yeah, don't think I will be for a bit.
McKavian
If it makes you feel better, my last one ended about 5 years ago. So, from experience, you will get over it.
kantaloupe
Makes sense.
Lamech777
@OP , Emergency cuteness floof :
Lamech777
His name is Zephyr, Aussie/Blue Heeler mix, just finished the adoption paper work!
MsDragonarra
You're the best, ty!
Lamech777
Well the name is not set in stone (dog tag) yet, but its deliberating between Ash, Zephyr, or Valkyr so far. Thoughts?
MsDragonarra
Zephyr is cute, then you can call him Zeph.
Lamech777
GF is preferring Ash so she can call him Ash Slashy from Ash versus evil dead. I can't choose! :C
threenothappening
Consider yourself lucky you found out this way... I have a friend who found out when she mysteriously got herpes.
tarataqa
Sorry, my bad.
Zalkaholic
That's one way to find out
BewareTheIceSpiders
Its the surprise that keeps on giving!
v00se
I had the same friend. She still stayed with him though as the excuse was "it must have been from a coldsore" oooook pal
WyattskinthatsmokewagonEarp
Heulengeist
Friend had that happen to her. She felt awful for weeks and doctors were having trouble figuring it out. Never thought to test for chlamydia
SamuraiFoxes
Worst surprise ever.
Leithoa
right up there with finding a landmine the hard way.
Vagetarian
Totallyscrewedinaustin
I know I've seen this around. WHat movie is it from?
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest
thiswillonlyhurtabit
I also have a friend who that happened to. Very shitty situation
Zapperoni
First step, get tested for an STD. I know you're going through a lot but he violated your trust and you need to protect yourself.
forte10
"An" STD? Just one? How do you pick?
doggofarts
Yessss! This is so important. You need to protect yourself! You may need to go again in 6 months since some STIs don't show immediately
dardar2002
Do this.
doggofarts
Yessss! This is so important. You need to protect yourself! You may need to go again in 6 months since some STIs don't show immediately
happyponypoo
Oh god, I remember doing that after finding out about my ex's cheating, after a 14-year marriage. Good advice.
Teatimebeforecolonizetime
second step : treat yourself with something you super like and vent to your best friend, thats if you have friend though
doggofarts
Also Your dessert and alcohol of choice should be consumed. It'll make you temporarily happy.
NudePotatoFetish
Yep, do this
imacuntnugget
second step: retail therapy af
edzo1121
Oh god
n3ckr0mantic
This
MakeMeStarlit
Zapperoni is jiminy cricket, i need u in my life
Zapperoni
That's seriously one of the best compliments I've ever received.
MakeMeStarlit
Zapperoni
And you send a gif of my crush. You've officially made my day.
SamuraiFoxes
Can't tell how much of a slut he is- is this the first or the 100th girl? Get tested.
slickdickricktherockskippingchampionoftheworld
So are you a ninja fox?
SuperFluffyRabbitEater
It clearly says Samurai, not Ninja
slickdickricktherockskippingchampionoftheworld
no? does it?
manslut
My slut senses tell me he is only a moderate slut.
AdamTheAmateur
On the plus side, he was already an asshole and you learned it earlier than you would have otherwise!
tootscootinboogie
Gotta look for the good things!
AVoiceOfReason
That statement is always true though! You always learn stuff sooner than you would have!
AdamTheAmateur
MsDragonarra
Very true :)
UrsulatheArtist
Being single at first is scarey but it's quite lovely!! Have yourself a nice time burning all his things.
Majestichippo1
Chop the penis!
WhythefuckamIlikethis
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nU27lSsp4jM Look up Mr. Bobbit's song for context
AdmJota
That was a risky hover.
TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsTheBabyAteMyDingo
That can be arranged. http://imgur.com/f95VcS6
DrFartstheTRex
upvoting for your obscure reference
lurker314
Must be a kid.
madguillotine
I find it funny you say obscure, to me "to Bobbitt" someone says it all. I was fascinated when this was in the news. Crazy stuff.
MrJimmyRustles
My guess is that he cheated because you call yourself a 'dog parent.'
jarldg
Harsh, but hysterical.
mpangelu
User name checks out
MsDragonarra
Don't consider myself a parent, but thanks for that bud.
MrJimmyRustles
Check your bio:
Xale1106
Fuck you man
MsDragonarra
Yeah! Ditto!
GoldenSun3DS
Yeah! Shedinja!
Greathexer
JimFromAccounting
Don't worry you'll have plenty of dick pics to keep you company now
root1657
Plot twist, @OP is a dude... Jokes on the people sending the pics.
root1657
Plot twist, @OP is a dude... Jokes on the people sending the pics.
MsDragonarra
Oh lord.
McKavian
Here is your unsolicited Dick pic:
maliciousGman
https://media.tenor.co/images/52fd321e01222efa19b088b6ab0964fc/tenor.gif
UrsulatheArtist
Should we also send you boobs?
MsDragonarra
I wouldn't be opposed to this.
MemesNDreams16
JimFromAccounting
Don't worry not from me but from all the guys that think finding out a user is a girl is an invitation to send a dick pic.
whiskeyzombie
lifetooshortnottobenaked
As a male..I've never sent unsolicited dick pics Because I can see why it'd be off putting.. But damn I sure wish chicks sent pics tit pics.
lifetooshortnottobenaked
And @op don't take that the wrong way. I'm not hinting. I'm just Making a general statement. Also sorry he was an asshole.
MsDragonarra
Hahaha don't worry, I never took offence. I don't get why women don't send them if they want to. I mean, everyone can admire tits, haha.
UrsulatheArtist
We do- but only to other women.
WhatInSamHellIsAPuma
Unsolicited tit pics?
mrsmjb
But dick pics =/= tit pics. Boobs are nice to look at and not genitals.
ABillionDucks
I like looking at both. :\
Grenther
ABillionDicks*
NotYourLady
I like looking at them. I love getting dick pics actually.
GeneralAnubis
Now you've gone and done it.
mrsmjb
Lots of it depends on whether it's wanted or not. A disembodied dick from a random person is not a turn on IMO
JimFromAccounting
Your username makes me think otherwise
lifetooshortnottobenaked
Who doesn't like being naked? It's the best part of literally every day. Especially if you live alone. Fuck clothes.
MsDragonarra
Thanks for making me laugh, needed this.
lifetooshortnottobenaked
If nothing else at least I could help ya there!
lifetooshortnottobenaked
Who doesn't like being naked? It's the best part of literally every day. Especially if you live alone. Fuck clothes.
Kobayen
Ill just.. leave this here. https://youtu.be/N8pbnjvypQ0?t=131
NotYourLady
I trade tit pics for dick pics all the time. I love getting them. Never had an unsolicited pic though, they always ask first. It's nice :)
lifetooshortnottobenaked
Sounds like a good market to be in. Pics of everyday people are way sexier than any porn star ????
MemesNDreams16
Seems like a fair trade
KaneVel
You could almost call it... tit for tat. Tit for dong?
kamkor1
So he surprised you with sex instead
ruferto
geez, have a heart
mylwin
fistermatic5000
JohnnyEnglishReborn
That's one way to look at it
Saxxon92
Absolutely barbaric!
ThrowPandas
Bamboozled again!
OptimisticButSoFarResultsNotGreat
Sparrovsky
Orgy!
MrLackDrip
unclemeat70
Cold!
Roastix
great minds think alike?
mylwin
rightarrowrightarrowrightarrowrightarrowrightarrow
Surprise otherfucker
LookingForWorkInColorado
MsDragonarra
I should be hurt... but honestly that's too funny
UpdootPandaSnoot
HeyGuysImVegan
JThomson777
Walking in to see your SO cheating: Iceless.
SteelBagel
And comment if the day goes to...
SonsOfMoog
If only
SonsOfMoog
If only
UpdootPandaSnoot
Yesmynameisping
I laughed at this for five minutes. Thank you for making my day.
justyesorno
Yes
RabidDingo
Epic.
MsDragonarra
It was definitely mind blowing.
Mimsey
Are you admitting to shooting him in the head in the moment? No one would blame you. Cheaters deserve it.
rbudrick
Murder justified for cheating? Wow, you sound really pleasant.
ABillionDucks
Uhh did you just confess to shooting him in the head?
MrPornProfessional
I hope you fucked her harder to establish dominance
Ayzay
Just mind blowing?
Njord
So you had a Shotgun and you Kurt Cobained him ?
MsDragonarra
Oh god no D:
OverMyKneeNow
So you're saying your... single? But seriously, I've been there... more than once. Sucks incredibly hard. I'm here if you wanna vent!
iTurruc
Something something joke about blowing something something
esbo
Do you use sex as a gift?
DomVanSuave
Seems as if it were a rare commodity in the relationship. Maybe that's why he cheated?
DarkSock
How perceptive of you two to analyze and understand this relationship from long-distance. Or… OR…You're a couple o' Pompous FuckTits.
DomVanSuave
Analyze maybe. But definitely don't understand. I'm just making guesses. Why are you so triggered
MsDragonarra
Nope. I wanted sex.... so I went to suprise him for fun.
BurnerAccount626
Well...its never too late. You can still surprise him..just a different kind ;)
MsDragonarra
Oh lord no, I wouldn't even touch him with a ten foot pole.
princeaizen
Load blowing *
CK1987
Tell him that letting you peg him will get him another chance and then leave him sore, broken and alone.
StubbornViking
This. Then take pictures and send them to his friends and side-hoes.
itmightbeuselessinformation
UncleMcGrandpa
pnero000
Fucking barbarous!
thornprick
TwoHandsMatt
Actually know a girl who did that to her bf.
TotallySaneScientist
The old rear end hit and run?
TwoHandsMatt
Technically he wanted anal and she agreed but only if she got to fuck him with a toy and if he enjoyed it she'd let him put it in her butt.
Lamech777
watersslady
DartTarget13
Vortain
I have never seen this, it's oddly hilarious. What's it from?
KaneVel
A really old French silent movie. Dancing Pig.
CountRugen
AnonresponsivE
Caspooky
Don't forget to use citrus acid as lube ;3
CK1987
Habanero oil
ADisturbedOne
This one, the worst.
annibe11e
Icy hot
CK1987
I like your style
underscoreneckbeard
afriendofmine
scaroused
quinnchecksout
Of all of the memes/gifs I've seen today, this is the one I personally relate with the most. Not sure what that says about me as a person.
MrBassoonBro
Probably just that you're scared and horny ¯\_ツ_/¯
Rogahar
If you say it'll get him another chance and then peg him WITH an XL Chance, you'll definitely achieve that.
Katlamos
Flared or unflared. That's the important question here.
Thatguyoverthere5
Flared would probably kill me lmao. But I love my unflared
itmightbeuselessinformation
MonkeyHittingPianoDramatically
My reaction exactly. If it were me I'd be too disgusted by him/her that to have sex