N0DI1ce
113612
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Oct 1, 2020 3:16 AM
N0DI1ce
113612
4762
141
ICannotSanctionYourBuffoonery
Except the car alarm is a nuclear meltdown alarm.
joker2814
Goldenleg
How does Mexico feeling about America these days?
mikeyork9195
Do you think Mr. Trudeau would mind watching the downstairs children for awhile?
WarriorSuperman
It's honestly tough to not fall into a puddle. Living in the U.S. these days is suffocating.
doesntmatter
There's many places in the US that are like perpetually dry; I suggest moving to one of them and becoming a courier
HazmatDriver
ColClone54
It's the smell of the dead hookers in the trunk that gets you. And who knew dead pre-teenage beauty queens could smell that bad? I mean,
ColClone54
besides all the guys who back Trump - they're used to it after all those years. Too bad nothing else puts lead in their pencils.
Stinkpickle77
Oh yeah, Canada is perfect right? *Laughs in First Nations*
ThatRandomCanadian
Our leaders at least pretend to be apologetic. "Stand back and stand by", eh?
NaughtButOne
We at least pretend to cover it up and feel bad about it like other civilized nations.
Talligan
No one said it's perfect, not sure where you got that from, but it's a far cry from the ongoing collapse of American civilization
Skywatcher16
as an american: you its better than the US right now.
PianoMan2112
LET US BACK IN! ITS BORING AS HELL IN UPSTATE NY!!
HeywouldJablowme
Being an American, can I crash on your couch? I'll make breakfast and clean your litter boxes every day.
artistandascholar2000
Deederpool
And yer the one that threw the keys away. Fuck off Canada is closed
N0DI1ce
Bacxaber
Don't double dip.
N0DI1ce
Bacxaber
pinchofsugar
riduckulous
Synthetic opioids more like, but go off dude
[deleted]
[deleted]
[deleted]
[deleted]
sdfsfsfsgs
I will admit, after I thought about "ass in the hole" long enough, I found it funny and thought you did it on purpose.
drakkaris12718
Mora like its old and has dementia.
HoneyBunchesOfStoats
that's such a kind way to describe the situation
BlackDeku
More like the US was the funny and dependable uncle, now is just creepy and delusional
nikkilaurakevin365
Well if that's the case then I want to go to rehab
OstinPower2020
Yeap. I always wanted my country to be more like the USA. Not anymore.
Ifixtrains
Can confirm...
lilmookieesquire
Hey! That's absolutely not true! I just need $20 for... math. -US probably.
TurangaLeelaIsMyMom
Hold on nah! Listen hyuh, Loch Ness Monster! We ain’t givin’ you no money! Go on, get outta hyuh!
Evilpercy
$20 is $20
HungryHungryLawStudent
We're Daryl's older brother in TWX, here's hoping for our redemption arc.
sanaujiram
Meryl
sanaujiram
Merle
OutrageousHemmorhoid
Mryle
IHateToSayThisButILoveYou
IhopeyougetstageIIIcoloncancer
Oh lawd, a DivX watermark?!? WHAT YEAR IS IT?
N0DI1ce
iamthisguy247
It’s like they left the car alarm going for three years and yet when you discuss it they say it’s not going off.
iamthisguy247
Then for no reason they point out that the previous owner had a car alarm too, and it was a louder one.
ColClone54
"Fake News! Liberal lies!" has replaced "Oh, my hearing aid batteries must have died because all I hear now is jibberish."
JustinSane6
NO. Imagine you’re locked in the car for three years, BUT you locked yourself in, AND you’re the only one with the key fob to turn it off.
ColClone54
And the top is down.
CiGr
I feel like my asshole brother took the fob and tossed it out the window and said what are you going to do now ha ha.
Googol30
And my uncle-who-should-be-serving-time is keeping me from reaching the door, yelling that it's the "liberal way out".
DrSharkbite
doesntmatter
I love this where is this from?
DrSharkbite
Sorry
Whatswrongwiththispicture
Canada should build a wall... And make Trump pay for it
N0DI1ce
N0DI1ce
He's gotta pay his taxes first ?
Iforgetmyusernameeasily
Or being in the trunk and not able to tell anyone about the alarm, thats how its like to live in Puerto Rico.
BellaofEclecticEccentricitiesDiceJewelry
I really wish I could get out of this country. I'd move to Canada if I could.
dedpaen
And the dog just threw up.
slinkhi
Some would call it abuse... some would call it being American.
WarlocknLoad
laurenlena1
I went to Canada last year for a week. Cried a little when I had to leave. Looking back, I should’ve applied for asylum
SwayzeS
Good analogy!
Idrinkforevil
hanging out the passenger side of his best friends ride tryin to holla at me.
cw25
So sorry Canada. So many people are considering to move in with the upstairs neighbors if ppl don’t get out to vote. Not all of us are(1)
cw25
The obnoxious stereotype I swear(2)
N0DI1ce
Can someone roll down the windows its hot in here
nangke
Break them, idek
MysteriousAsTheDarksideOfTHEMOOOOOOOOOOON
Smoke from the fires in California
captainswoopty
OddlyPacific
I had KFC in here a couple of days ago and the smell is stronger than ever!
reichstein
I was wondering what that smell was.
Chromedflame
When the double - down doubles down.
OneTabAway
Canada's silent house alarm has been going off for ages.. at least you can Hotwire the car and roll the windows down or drive off..
ColClone54
No! Antifa'll get you. They're everywhere now, not just under your bed. I know many, many good folks who have told me so. Biggly good folks.
FetaForMoses
So take off all your clothes
N0DI1ce
Thats how you got shot in the US
reichstein
To be fair, it seems like pretty much everything is how you get shot in the US.
ColClone54
Only if you're not over 70, white, male, and super rich. It's in the Club By-laws.
Rima13
Dude wtf? Don't roll down the goddamn window, we tryin to make a hot box idiot
infernalcombustionengine
Yeah but its hot outside too
jimmyhowlett
Unfortunately the dems are in the passenger seat and have little influence on what happens
sendmeyourbestpuns
That's radical liberal talk!!
Eldibs
I see you live in the south.
StellarJay77
As a Canadian, I'd love ta help ya out der buddy, but I don't wanna catch dat der rona virus from ya. Sorry.
MorrighanWolf
Montreal just reshutdown. So...
asanaustralianwhyareyourpostsupsidedown
Don't worry a few of us countries are just popping into IKEA for one or two things. Keep the windows up, they're your "Boarder Wall".
CrumbyCake
With the windows rolled up, in summer.....
IvanGordy
And forced to wear a face prison. /s
N0DI1ce
iamspartan1262
While the owner walks by every now and then to laugh at us for being trapped and also insists that the car is fake.
sendmeyourbestpuns
Make Aircon Great Again
N0DI1ce
With broken air conditioning
TeamSpicyTacos
Trunk is on fire, someone kicked the e-brake out and we're rolling toward a cliff, and half the people are looking out my window!!
ihavethelowground
And somebody had beans and eggs for lunch
MysteriousAsTheDarksideOfTHEMOOOOOOOOOOON
Cus of the smoke
WhereIsMyAppleQuava
And the dog has diarrhea.
dannne
You're not even the driver and he says everything is fine and you have baby in the back crying.
missnye
In Las Vegas
GeekBoyChrisOnlySometimes
In the garage
abelrm
In a Mercedes Benz with the windows up when the temp goes up to the mid 80s?
Lavabeardednerd
With rabid honey badgers
iCommentTopComments
Also strapped in the seat with the seat heating on, the fan is blowing hot air in your face and you cannot move your arms to switch them off
Pecka98
In Australia
CarbonNight
3 years of summer....
Thresholdpush
Hotter than a set of twin babies? In a Mercedes Benz with windows up when the temp goes up to the mid-80s?
N0DI1ce
RubyPorto
At least the summer heat killed the Coronavirus, right?
DizzierDizzi
You have to bleach your asshole or inject it... I think.. I’m not sure
cainofdreaming
Don't forget eating light bulbs.
BabyDontHertzMeNoMho
But...But...It went away on its own tho right? Just went away?
Gudhansson
Chinese flu is just a hoax, just like climate change. The real danger is windcraft. It kills birds
Axianamos
Never heard of that mod pack. Is it any good?
RubyPorto
It's a little flighty.
N0DI1ce
Pretty sure someone farted too
doodledeedoo
Smelled it you delt it
AnathemaNoreh
And somehow bees are finding their way insode
stayingalive4life
Nah, more like someone duct taped the tail pipe shut where the exhaust is filling up inside now (a lá West Coast Fires).
stayingalive4life
Along with raw sewage water slowly filling inside up to the car roof (a lá Gulf Coast Hurricane floods).
CrumbyCake
I wanted to say that, but I didn't think anyone would laugh at it. Im a fucking child at heart
Thelrishlnquistion
Never withhold a fart joke!!!
Zyrixion
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is not.
Dontsteponthemomerathz
Dude, farts are funny. I’ll defend it till my dying day.
sdevenhawking
Until it turns into a shit. And then it’s fucking hilarious
Syxcfaq
Farted? There's a dead body rotting in the trunk.
EmberRingtail
A swiss army man