Modelik
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All the prisoners are doing it
iapologizeinadvanceforthis
I read the sex=communnism as sex=communion and was really confused and wondered what denomination of christianity has joseph stalin
Theflyingcactus
My mom and I were in the car yesterday and I had a brain fart, called the ac an air faucet, she won't let it go...
creedthoughts627
Except that the Tolkien quote is actually from the poem "All That is Gold Does Not Glitter" and refers to Aragorn when we was still a ranger
whamwhamwham
I once bought my girlfriend a book called "porn for women". It's essentially pictures of random men doing house chores in full clothing. Hot
Misora
RE: Porn for women https://xkcd.com/714/
Queenmickey
Thank god this one is censored.
Fu̶c̶k̶ is such a naughty word.
MatthewEis
The John Cena one doesn't work I tried calling it.
MrBubblehead
Same.
Pendryn
Glad this wasn't black twitter.
fuckpuffins
Fuck you Ms. Sarmento.
TalonDudeguy
msafunk
"Oh! I'm going to comment about this one" *keeps scrolling* "no this one! No, this one! ...how many pictures are there?"
Sentoverinabottlefromchina
That's why you don't give 11-year-olds a cell phone
thatmangodude
Or say "Sorry. I'd rather not give you my number." Like a normal human being
Scratchtherobotchicken
yeah, i'm tired of "mic drop"
armeggedonCounselor
I know a few Tech Theater guys who would break people's fucking arms for dropping their mics.
jwil620
Or you know, be a decent person and politely decline, or say you're unavailable. Better that than escalating a potentially dangerous sit.
zerohunter
Rejection can also lead to escalation and violence
jwil620
Indeed. Better to choose your battle wisely I s'pose. +1
ireallyreallylovewaffles
Exactly... I now give them my real number and just block them
zerohunter
You have to do whatever you have to do to be safe. Your safety first, their feelings second.
ThisChickisHammered
Pretending to save b/c creep number. Actually saving because I need to watch some hot guys doing chores. Talk domestic to me baby.
forgetthisnoise
Those are some really good videos. Good lord.
CountDesMoines
You can have my upvote but know I scrolled past most of them
TallDude
If a girl gives me a 888 number, I don't think I am going to call it.
JapAnus
Anyone tried out the numbers?
N0ticeablyFAT
I like to think the "I am Groot" one isn't a recording.
ngthagg
How many creeps get fooled by a 1-888 number?
Misora
Best recommendation I've heard is if a person legitimately won't take no for an answer give them the local non emergency police line.
FiddlingJesus
Drunks.
enderkai
Wizardmang
As an American, I promise you the the flag would not only go up, but it would go on a pole made of titanium drilled in 50ft, and we would1/2
CornMan
Armageddon 2
idrinkcheapbeer
"couple of million"
Wizardmang
ask China to pay for us to build a wall around it.
newfoundking
Don't forget that if they refused, you'd threaten a war, or significant sanctions
DatDurTho
We should just let the Chinese build the wall, they make amazing walls.
Douglas747Tristar
I don't think there are enough peasants on the moon to build the wall out of.
LovableTramp
For #1, I feel like most people would realize that someone's personal phone number wouldn't be a toll free line.
cyntalle
The John Cena phone number doesn't work anymore. :(
KaptainKraken
PC user: "Load remaining 140 images". Ha. Nice try. Mobile user: Fate accepted...
DreaminFree
Guys, I'm gonna need an answer on that sucking a dick one.
reters
Feels like sucking dick. Have you ever actually tickled yourself? It's like that except with a dick in your mouth.
philcollinsdrumbreakdown
Goddammit you smug little tumblr cunt, that Tolkien line is from a verse about Strider, IE motherfucking Aragorn. Not Sauron or his minions.
yourekillingindependentgeorge
The John Cena hotline doesnt work :| I am disappoint
stopstalkingmeplease
WUBYA WUBYA E CHAMPION JOHHNNN CEEEEENAAAA
DoingMyKanyeBest
Neither does the God of War one. It just takes you to "Americas hottest chatline, where girls can meet--(this is where I hung up)
SoVeryThirsty
Same with the KKK line : (
dhaskjdhawyajhdbsdbgwakjhbdnmcckclkklkl
sosad :(
letsgoriderkick
Google axed the Cena hotline because it was getting too many calls and that's a bad thing apparently.
w0ntoan
Not rejected. Called John Cena line anyway. "Could not complete your call. Please try again". Am disappoint.
Thephedora
Dialed and was much dissatisfied the same time as the first time in years
clearbrook
Is there a replacement? I need this thing in my life.
GeneralApathyandMajorBoredom
719-266-2837
0xDEADDEADdotNET
hahaha but also :(
clearbrook
was not disappointed
LusciousLocks
Was hoping for John Cena. Wasn't John Cena. Wasn't disappointed.
Dantesrecipebook
The temptation to put my exes number was strong. I will resist.
beacon2245
Is there some area code I have to put before the number? Said number was incorrect or incomplete. I live in Australia if that's important
GeneralApathyandMajorBoredom
Sorry, I lied :( It's the emergency Hall and Oates number. Not sure how to access from Australia.
beacon2245
Ok haha thanks anyway
OneWickedJig
I was so excited because I live in the 515 area code (Des Moines represent) and I could call it all the time as a local call.
mycatsnameiskoko
Same! Which evil Des moinesian genius created then destroyed this?
GuessImNotALurkerNow
Ugh. "Not all those who wander are lost" is in reference to the Rangers of the North. Fucking uncultured swine.
philcollinsdrumbreakdown
It's about Aragorn/Strider
cheesecakepizza
Scrolled down just to make sure this was clear, thanks for doing the lord's work.
XyoLikesDinosaurs
I thought it was a quote by Prophet Velen from World of Warcraft, oops.
mishamaro
Oh MFer! I got mad enough to stop reading and come down here to say this. I'm glad I'm among friends who feel the same. *fistbump*
DVSBSTrD
Sorry, it's been decades since I've read LOTR.
kungfuskunk
Ugh, such a pleb.
twinly92
I was going to say that
therogueduchess
I interrupted my scrolling on mobile to come down here and make the same damn point!!! +1
SirBedivereTheWise
Thank you. It's part of bilbo's poem for Strider if anyone is wondering.
baronridiculous
RIght? "The crownless again shall be King", yeah, that's probably about the orcs or something. Right on.
thesplashingblumpkins
I'm sure OP wouldn't dunedain to respond
ChronologicalMyopia
Down voted because of this, and I love that it is top comment.
gingerminge
Thank you. Jesus, that made me so angry.
glutenfreeEbola
Wanna play 20 questions?
littlegingerone
34DD
Turbz
Well then, you answered 19 of my questions
Theflyingcactus
Omg same
Vulpinologist
No way, I don't believe it.
adolthifler
https://www.flickr.com/photos/15702350@N00/2595375755
SirBedivereTheWise
Uhh, animal, plant, or mineral?
AccordingToMyCalculations
According to my calculations, it is a mineral.
tashiwa
Is it larger than a breadbox?
AccordingToMyCalculations
According to my calculations, no.
tashiwa
Is it heavier than a brick?