rubbur
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Wow, it's like you guys don't know what reposting is. Some of the images are originally from /ck/, but I found them all on /b/. Have a good day.
ProfessorKamenRider
Foodhacks...also known as recipes
WackyWavingInflatableArmFlailingTubeman69
Or I just fry a pound of bacon and call er a day.
asil
Hi Ron Swanson!
OscarTheGrouch
Soup muffins? Really?
vanaman
Where are the hacks?
ashmenon
I scrolled down rapidly and as it was blurring by I thought "jesus christ this is one complicated recipe."
capitanfanculo
NON E' COSI' CHE SI Fà LA CARBONARAAAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHHSHHASHFDJAHDFSAJFDSCSDVCHAs ja
fug1t1v3
Lold at lube up the muffin pan
mercuzio
No cream in carbonara, trust me...
thiscaddyshacklovesgophers
No panna! AHHHH.
silverfoxxflame
From /b/? You're sure this isn't from /ck/? OP? WHEN IT SAYS /CK/ IN THE IMAGES?
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ThatRedheadedGirl
I tried those first 'pancakes' before. They are fucking gross. Stringy, cinnamon, banana flavoured egg. Literally the grossest shit ever
thiscaddyshacklovesgophers
And they stick to the pan like nobody's fucking business. It's bullshit.
ThatRedheadedGirl
accurate
MaxxiDotPad
You were the comment I was looking for. I didn't want to try them myself so I was hoping someone would tell me if those were gross.
dexterdroid
Same here. Thanks.
diev
...these are clearly from /ck/ if they were from /b/ every third recipe would call for ammonia and bleach.
skulldrinker
It's all the same pedo forum to us
Haxbrygd
Or have ten dicks in it.
WasThatAFartOrAShart
When the caption said /b/, I was looking for the subtle troll in the recipe.
Batshit912
Mmmmm.. soup inside muffins
nickyaddrison
read that first one as flavourless pancakes
trickee
Add some steel cut oats to the pancakes. Top with cinnamon. Trust me.
justTed
Agreed
ilikebigcatsandicannotlie
Fuck 9gag indeed
MuyGuay
No cream and no garlic in spaghetti alla Carbonara, please!! And you shouldn't use bacon, but guanciale.
MuyGuay
And no parmesan too, you should use pecorino romano. Or maybe don't cook things you don't have the ingredients for.
ChickenandFishMakesAGreatDish
Or pancetta for those who don't have access to a charcuterie
almondsareimportant
I don't know the words guanciale, pancetta, or charcuterie. I'm le stupid.
ChickenandFishMakesAGreatDish
Guanciale, cured pork cheek, pancetta, cured pork belly, Carcuterie is a "butcher" that cures meat, mainly pork
KatehasaBlog
Back in my day, we called food hacks "recipes", put 'em in books and everything!
Resurrectionist
emperorcain
I was gonna say, I would just stop that first step and not get anything else done. "Hee hee... it looks like a dick and balls..."
WherePoetryComesToDie
IOwnAFoodTruck
Recipies. They're called recipes.
dannyb9254
I would say they are more like tips, especially because of the ramen part that basically lets you customize what you want in there.
DogeMaster
Commenting for the banana pancake recipe!!
WherePoetryComesToDie
Tasty, highly recommended and very easy to do. Went through college eating those things every morning.
YouveGotTwoEmptyHalvesOfACoconutAndYoureBanginEmTogether
I just tried it and they were super shitty. WHAT DID I DO WRONG?!
skulldrinker
I make them with 1 banana to 1 egg. Make sure you use plenty of oil and have the pan quite hot, otherwise they will just not cook well
YouveGotTwoEmptyHalvesOfACoconutAndYoureBanginEmTogether
Ahhh ok. Yeah they turned out more like burned banana flavored eggs
rubbur
Take the extra step and cleanup and blend them instead, mashing is never really enough.
WherePoetryComesToDie
Oh, also: Add a splash of vanilla! So awesome with a splash of vanilla.
AbsolutelyFree
No garlic in the carbonara, instead of parmesan, pecorino.. And we don't use bacon, but the pork cheek (guanciale)
queenofthenorth
The egg/banana pancakes do not work. They come out like scrambled eggs with pieces of banana in them.
liquidbeef
Even blended, it's just a banana omelette. Went in the treash, left me wanting banana bread. I suspect plantains would have a better taste!
rouverius
Yeah. We had that problem at first too. Replace "mash" with "blend." Added to clean up later but the blender saved the day.
queenofthenorth
Thank you, I'll try that!
TheBurlyIrishMan
It took me forever to get it right, but I did it just mashing with a fork. Make silver dollar pancakes and a pinch of flour. Bam.
queenofthenorth
I'll definitely try to make them again and try that :D
flyingsolow
Foodhack: Clean your kitchen so you don't get sick, you dirty slut.
ImJustSoFckingSickOfThisBllsht
Favorited but down voted for OPs douchey comments...
Ilikeitwhenyoucallmebigpapa
My Sim makes spaghetti carbonara every single day.
MoonMoon25
Thank you for this.
WowSuchDoge
your sim is living the life !
YoSoyMelonLord
Goopy carbonara, but yeah I didn't even know it was a real thing, I thought it was just something they made up for Sims.
Addiecora
omg
parabola
That would be goopy carbonara, you uncultured swine.
TheDarkestStar
What are you looking at bro? You hockey puck.
Hedgehogsareadorable
Thank you for correct simming
cmc8290
Is there a cheatcode for this? Mine just eat plates of mush.
AssertDominanceChCh
Have your sim learn some cooking skill with a book, they should have level 1 in their inventory, more can be found in library and bookstore.
sassandbalderdash
Go to the grocery store son
Hedgehogsareadorable
Or the food synthesizer if you have future
FrigginCornflakes
get up in the morning like
Ilikeitwhenyoucallmebigpapa
Liar! Those are waffles! You can't fool me.
xXMaleficentXx
actually im pretty sure those are pancakes...
almondsareimportant
Will we ever know?
xXMaleficentXx
i guess not...
Cruxador
These aren't from /b/, they're from /ck/. Recipes come from the cooking board. Hell, three of the five are labeled as such.
bluesuits
You do know people post images from other boards on /b/ and diff. boards? just cause it has a /ck/ watermark doesn't mean its from there.
Cruxador
They aren't watermarks, there aren't any watermarks on 4chan. The creators of the images mentioned it being /ck/ in the image itself.
bluesuits
yeah no shit.
getthismanabeer
Indeed - I clicked this post expecting the requisite amount of subtle, poisonous trolling. (Make scrambled eggs! Ingred: bleach, ammonia)
iDrinkDrano
The cake from Portal has lethal ingredients: http://youtu.be/JAw3V8ScLeI
TrentHatex
I was wondering why wasn't the dishes poisoning me yet... Thought it said soap at the forth recipe and was disappointed when noticed
metamphetamine
Maybe he just found them reposted on /b/?
rubbur
This was from a thread on /b/ that took stuff from /ck/ and other places.
iDrinkDrano
Because /b/ doesn't repost shit from every other board.
Cruxador
Doesn't mean it's from /b/. That's like saying "Arkham" is from Batman.
iDrinkDrano
Agreed! Just noting that its' pretty darn possible.
sloganhero
Not only is this not /b/, there's a fucking 9gag watermark on the very first picture.
thatclimbingguy
I tried making the banana pancakes. They get bad veeery fast. If you don't eat em right away they turn brown
NATA5
I thought it was for someone named icki
pintDMG
But pretending to go to 4chan means thinking every single board is /b/!
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Dreamare
I assume you're new to 4chan, newfriend, so here's some advice I'll give you: Lurk more.
gbghg
tbh most of the boards are decent, /b is the one with most of the horrible stuff.
wessyfbaby
I just go to /b/ when I feel like laughing at ridiculous shit. I would never look for anything educational
adam1111
/b/ rarely has horrible shit, at least not anymore. Publicity does that to sites.
gbghg
still got gore threads, thats one thing i don't like seeing
adam1111
Less so now. Just go spend a couple hours on bestgore or something, it won't bother you anymore.
inanimate
Yep. I only go to /tg/, and it's one of the best boards on 4chan.
Dooood
You made me curious what /tg/ was, so I googled, saw "traditional gaming", then clicked "images". Sooo many cartoons of guys turning female.
inanimate
You searched "traditional gaming" on google images and got that? Weird. I get nothing of the sort.
inanimate
"Traditional games" means board games, pen and paper RPGs, war games, etc. /tg/ is the 4chan board about such things.
nelshai
fa/tg/uys are some of the most interesting I've met ever. Also, a surprisingly large number of them go to /d/.
Dreamare
/d/ represent
inanimate
What makes fa/tg/uys interesting is their sheer variety. They're united by hobby, not creed, so they have lots of skills and stories.
inanimate
Yeah, for some reason, probably ERP I guess. I'm not a /d/eviant myself.
MrSteveyP
Omg I love /B/CHAN!
selfdefenseagainstfreshfruit
There is no cream in spaghetti carbonara
NickJa
thank you
TheSilentComedy
When I went to Europe they used the lightly cooked eggs as a kind of cream they fluff the egg so much people mistake it for cream.
eyescontact
there is no garlic too.
Wesugi
ALSO the guy used "Schinken" which is Ham and not bacon!
worstpunsimaginable
this is just a half package you see there. it's most likely "Schinkenspeck" which is actually bacon. You can see in the Picture that (1/)
worstpunsimaginable
the word "Schinken" is way too much to the right, and also the stuff on the bottom got cut (and if you look closely it lists "2x125g"=2packs
Wesugi
yeah its really just the half package. Schade ich dachte ich könnte mal was sinnvolles beitragen xD
worstpunsimaginable
nope, sorry :p
groeth
Really, no cream? I had it all wrong, for so long. I loathe myself.
deathf4n
The recipe above is not that bad (it's a common variant even here in Italy) but no, put no cream nor garlic.
soundaholic
Search for Antonio Carluccio's carbonara recipe on YouTube. You're welcome
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RadishIsAMeat
Also depends on your country. UK eggs have a lion certification process which guarantees salmonella free and can be eaten raw.
ivanbrkbrk
The eggs cook when you put them on the boiling hot pasta...
deathf4n
You DON'T cook the eggs when you make spaghetti alla carbonara ffs.You need 60°C circa to kill salmonella,the warmth of the pasta is enough.
eggtartsandfarts
incredible never knew that. but will the pasta be that high a temp?
ChickenandFishMakesAGreatDish
Yes, the slow heating is what makes the creaminess without the cream. Too much heat and you get scrambled eggs
deathf4n
Yup, the freshly cooked pasta is still hot and is well above the 60/65 ° C required in order to kill salmonella!
alooseseal
THANK YOU
mykos
So true! And that pasta/bacon ratio sounds like a recipe from Auswitch
bigdaddyfatpants
+1 for auswitch.
gruenherz
*Auschwitz. You didn't just misspell it, you also got the phonetics completely wrong.
soundaholic
Yes I was just about to comment the same thing myself. The real carbonara is much simpler, without the cream and garlic
lorddickpickle
exactly!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mq8GK4P35GY
overlordbubbles
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT BITCH SAYING!?
lorddickpickle
Its italian, you can see what she does. The ingredients are linked in the description
overlordbubbles
Okay. thanks!
ChickenandFishMakesAGreatDish
The cream makes it easier...trying to get a proper carbonara from eggs can be tricky for kitchen noobs, endes up as pasta and scrambies
selfdefenseagainstfreshfruit
True, if you don't whisk it quickly enough
Zerreth
Tricky? ...how? As long as they take it off the flame, you can't mess it up no?
HelloIAmAnInnocentBystander
Soooo, food hacks = basic cooking recipes? Just... Why
AcadianBacon
BECAUSE SAYING 'HACKS' MAKES IT SOUND ALL INTERNET-Y AND KEWL
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Notablawz
Your website sucks: http://ww35.hax4lyfe.com/1337
TheDopestD0pe
A deserved +1
LiterallyYourMom
Lifehackable has degenerated to the point where their 'tips' are basically "try living near a beach, it's fun".
RiVenoX
drink fluids to keep from dying. use google instead of bing.
APIBeast
Because for someone who never cooked in his life basic cooking recipes are food hacks.
nodisco
Hands up who also ended up making flourless pancakes with an entire pasta sideplate.
AECHIMCEALTADOON
Only Imgur labels this shit as "foodhacks", not 4chan.
WherePoetryComesToDie
We can blame an unholy combination of Boing Boing, Lifehacker and Buzzfeed, as far as I can tell.
StarryPlough
And Imgur
deftpwnz
Food hacks? WTF... back in my dad it was called "Knowing how to cook"
AECHIMCEALTADOON
Only Imgur labels this shit as "foodhacks", not 4chan.
MrPredator
Is your dad a seahorse? I'm just curious.
MrJohnsonAndTheJuiceCrew
[joke about you being inside your dad]
HellMutt
Get out of the kitchen, grandpa
IHateDickbutt
This was a really fortunate typo for you. I only upvoted because of it.
MySecondAccount
These days a lot of people (especially guys) under 25 have no idea how to cook the most basic foods.
MOSCATOMILES
Day*
stoffo
Jesus Christ, grated "parmesan", schinken tagged as "bacon", this is not cooking, it's a food rape. Seriously, learn from experts, not imgur
stoffo
Also cream in carbonara is another wtf idea, which somehow got popular.
AcadianBacon
I just made 'recipes not foodhacks' a tag, because if this is gonna be a thing, people need to be educated.
somethingsomethingflowers
This is not really cooking, sorry...
Moan2
What do you expect from neingag? Quality posts? c'mon, be reasonable
AgentKGB
In Soviet Russia you go in dad
Simisaurus
For three years, he kept, those hacks.. Up, his ass.
LegMonster
So dad was in your oven?
SpicedNipples
Sounds painful for him
Lugh314159
These things are to cooking, what taking the bus is to driving. You'll still get where you're going, but you didn't really do anything.
TwoRightFeet
Hi "Knowing how to cook" I'm TwoRightFeet
HelpaFatherOut
I hope this is top comment just because you accidentally said in my dad
YorkshirePudding
To be fair this isn't cooking
ifeellikefloating
or "recipes"
kerchew
"Food hacks" more like recipes...
Nilbop
GET BACK TO THE PLANCK EPOCH, GRANDMA!!
TheDogCollector
No kidding!
NewKing
Oh... You had one of THOSE dads
Kmank95
......you didn't...oh
whydoeseveryonehaveacoolusernameexeptme
Oh...
deftpwnz
*day
thatnumberis8675309
Try not to let this keep you up at night.
Rikuyo
seems like this is your life now.
Splaterson
Too late now, son. You have to live with this
WeCanAllPhoneHomeTogether
No, people learned how to cook while fucking this person's dad. There was no spelling error.
ImChrisHaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaansen
Cause it was this person's mom. Women cook.
WeCanAllPhoneHomeTogether
This looks more like "guessing how to cook". Like someone is in the kitchen just making shit up and getting a mediocre result.
getthismanabeer
That, in a nutshell, is cooking. Start with recipes, then transcend to being able to do whatever you want because you know it will be good.
WeCanAllPhoneHomeTogether
No, this looks like a stoner with a wicked case of the munchies just thrashing around in the kitchen and accidentally making edible things.
getthismanabeer
I think these are more capable than that. A friend, when drunk, had a habit of making "extreme-fucking-'roni" with everything he could find.
getthismanabeer
That was thrashing.
WeCanAllPhoneHomeTogether
I can imagine "extreme-fucking-roni" being pretty damn amazing whilst on the marijuanas or lots of beer. Peanutbutta cups in yah eggs!
EddieMcfork
Well you better get it out of him
katwi
I want to up vote this forever
thisaccountisembarrassingsoichangedthename
Loving the username. Do you accept downvotes?
EddieMcfork
Upvotes, downvotes, heck I'll even accept a fancy dancy comment. Anything really, as long as it puts food on the table for me and the missus
Pekwachnamaykoskwaskwaypinwanik
ourari
Only now do I notice it's the C(ORAL)-BLOCK.
VesselOfHate
more like
NiftyNips
I just watched this episode this morning for the first time ever & laughed at this scene because of imgur & those memes.
megaepicllama
In your dad? I now get the ''lubing up the muffing'' hack
Dooood
Don't you hate it when you make a typo in a comment making fun of someone else's comment with a typo?
SpicedNipples
Yeah I really hate thay
Dooood
Zackly.
megaepicllama
Wat type?
Dooood
Yes.
TapeKiller
As an Italian, that's not Carbonara. Garlic? Heavy cream? Hell no.
Dokramuh
American carbonara. LET'S HAVE FAT WITH FAT AND FAT SO WE CAN EAT FAT WHILE WE EAT FAT.
MisterM069
So whats the authentic carbonara recipe?
ilKalu
Fry the cubed bacon. Cruchy.
ilKalu
Mix eggs, 1 per person (only yolk, 1 albumen total) with Black Pepper, Pecorino Cheese and Parmesan. Boil the pasta until al dente.
ilKalu
Put the pasta in the pan with the fried bacon. Stir. Put the the bacon pasta in the eggs and stir fast to avoid cook too much eggs. Enjoy!
MisterM069
I'll try it and let you know how good it is! Thanks a ton!
soundfossil
Not Italian but thanks. Who the f*** brought this cream in carbonara idea to people's heads? Yikes.
Rodolph
Thanks, I found someone who said that so I don't have to.
thisappisajoke
And also, break that pasta up so it all cooks at the same time!
ilKalu
Breaking the spaghetti in Italy is a crime. Put in a high pan and stir, they bend in few seconds after you put and they cook all equals.
mynameisnotalice
Or just use a pot big enough?!
thisappisajoke
There's no way to use a pot big enough to cook unbroken pasta that long. Unless you fill it completely full of water
mynameisnotalice
I have one. High and small surface. Works just fine.