JonathanBradley
95980
1643
89
This fucks up our statistics so much believe it or not.
That's a direct quote
Jul 27, 2017 4:57 PM
JonathanBradley
95980
1643
89
This fucks up our statistics so much believe it or not.
That's a direct quote
TheOneWhoSucks
#8 Raven hair wrapped around chicken in mostly eaten salad. Everybody on line blonde or brunette, only one with raven hair is customer. Duh.
MrMusclePants
I worked on bar on a wedding & one customer wanted free drinks & tried to bribe me for them. His bribe was as much as the drinks order.
FescueTheBarbarian
I disliked people before moving to FOH and now I hate them
Gianttesticlemonster
lizardwomanfromthedawnoftime
Ah, these stories make me feel like home.
DMuerto
Yes Chef!
Daraaggon
All line cooks are trained to prep where I work. They don't do it and leave it to night shift, but they sure fucking know how to..
ihavehugetesticles
Guest: wants side of asparagus and a side of peas. None of which are on the menu or in our walk in or in season for fucks sake
ihavehugetesticles
Guests: I want mashed potatoes. Mashed potatoes are no where listed on the menu.
ihavehugetesticles
Guest: make me something not on the menu, be creative. Fuck open kitchens
somellama
i'd settle for 50% off a blow job.
xMOISEx
ihavehugetesticles
Server: " is the bread pudding gluten free or can we do it without gluten?"
ihavehugetesticles
Guest asks for a vegan entree...but chicken is ok.
ihavehugetesticles
Guest claims to have dairy allergy, butter is ok.
R0gerR0ger
Wtf is broccolini?
ILieForPoints
It's like bitch broccoli.
JonathanBradley
It's broccoli with a really long stem. It's actually a cross of asparagus and broccoli.
ihavehugetesticles
Guest says they have gluten allergy...orders a beer.
ashhhpoop
As a line cook, can confirm that dumb shit like that happens ALL the time.
ownzyou123
"I know it's not on the menu, but can you make....."
onlyhalfghost
"No, we can't, that's why it's not on the menu." Open kitchen!
Sharkostomy
I had a bout with gluten intolerance and when I was still learning the ropes I ordered the gluten-free rotini and eggplant (which is .....)
Sharkostomy
breaded.) I didn't realize that I couldn't have the eggplant until I felt sick lol.
Gremlynn4023
My broiler cook just pretends chicken didn't show up on his screen when I ring in a chicken salad then suddenly has fully cooked chicken /1
Gremlynn4023
The second I leave the kitchen.
IEnjoyToTalkGoAheadAndMesageMeYouKnowYouWanna
My fav is everything off at the end of a 16 hr shift and waitress demands her employee meal an hour after close... I know what the phrase1/
IEnjoyToTalkGoAheadAndMesageMeYouKnowYouWanna
murder in the eyes meant after that i thought i was gonna have to hold my cook back
TheOneWhoSucks
Unless I had to, I didn't even wait until close to get employee meals. Even working there, I hated being that guy.
ShrubNinja
Yeah, always try to get your employee meal when it's slow, but before everyone starts putting stuff away.
JustAnotherPOG
I am hoping that she was new. That is the only reasonable explanation (not to be confused with excuse).
IEnjoyToTalkGoAheadAndMesageMeYouKnowYouWanna
Nope old hand thinking she was above law of the kitchen which makes it even worse
JustAnotherPOG
If that's the case, then she can take a long walk off a short pier.
ihavehugetesticles
Open table request: diner would like the chef to personally deliver and explain each dish to them and their guest.
InfocalypseRising
I worked in a restaurant for a year and man, you must REALLY love to cook if you do this shit-ass job.
JaAsCsK
15 years
FrenchTheLlama2
Going on 8 years now, i used to have a soul
Nilhlis
I've been working at my place for over 2 years... it hurts sometimes yano
Worgenmaster
Imagine doing it since you were 15
InfocalypseRising
I would prefer not to!
Worgenmaster
U are correct
mbos14
going into the double digits soon :) . really depends on where you work. but all places have an idiot or 2
InfocalypseRising
I was just blown away by the sheer time commitment and nonstop nature of the work. Some cooks seemed to never leave.
mbos14
yeah where i worked before i have had weekends where i went to work at 10.00 and went home around 00:00 .
mbos14
and there are proberbly places where that is normal thing of the day
Repetitapup
No wonder every chef I worked with had a drinking problem.
IEnjoyToTalkGoAheadAndMesageMeYouKnowYouWanna
I worked a lot of overtime to be able to afford rehab to address my drinking problem that to much overtime caused
sunlight
I was a cook before I hit 21 and did it stone cold sober and god damn would I have drank if I thought I could get away with it.
JadawinUK
Judging from your sentence it could just be you.
mikeatike
Their problem is they don't drink enough.
Repetitapup
Now that's just mean.
HumansRStrange
Ahh yes. The most fucked up industry. My home. A strange mix of criminals, idiots, and secret super geniuses.
boxof200dildos
Read kitchen confidential by Anthony bourdain. It was required reading at le cordon bleu 1/
boxof200dildos
Great book. Cooking is my passion but the industry pushed me away. I left the kitchen to climb cell towers and now work in IT. 2/3
boxof200dildos
Because those are less stressful jobs to me 3/3
Stoneagedudeman
That's....accurate. Like damn.
chilaquilesking
As a fellow chef, can confirm
sealfury
I ask myself every day why and how this has become and is my home and it fits :(
HumansRStrange
Unless you like pain and suffering in order to serve others, get out while you still can.
sealfury
Easier said than done...i try to get out and they keep pullin me back in
Natertoots
Wait staff told us we need a swear jar. A suicide joke jar would be more apt.
mercifulwombat
Know someone who clicker trained a team of programmers to stop making anal rape jokes. She was the best boss.
t33kay
The food/hospitality business is great for ex criminals. They always seem to strive in that sort of environment
t33kay
thrive***
Kreaken
connive**
dspek
Beehive****
bobthebuilder6
Drugs! Don't forget drugs.
DimmestLemming
And rats hidden in toques
ReposterCallerOuterMan
hi......secret super genius here......after a decade...i left
HumansRStrange
Do you have a degree? Or just change industries?
ReposterCallerOuterMan
changed industries....me no want go in kitchen no more
HumansRStrange
What did you go into?
ReposterCallerOuterMan
i'm a pool boy :D
jenw
And slutty waitresses who never show up to work because their babysitter backed out at the last minute.
samwiseiscooler
Tru
KungFuFetus
Klingon00
Sometimes all three attributes in one person
dizzytrumpeter
Had my float of over 500$ stolen last Saturday by coworker and just like most restaurants, we have no cameras
TwoCheese
I call that a bank. I would never let my bank leave my person. I trust my coworkers too. I don't want the headache. It happens tho.
MousseCakePie
Holy crap! That's a huge float. Guessing high denomination bills often get handed in by customers for their bill?
DonteHaversham
What's a float? Serious question
dizzytrumpeter
It's a cash float so basically you start off the night with 100$ and when someone pays you cash it adds to your float
dizzytrumpeter
So at the end of the night you pay the restaurant what you owe them
DonteHaversham
Oh gotcha! Thanks for explaining
FescueTheBarbarian
Very true statement there. Scarily accurate
imherefortheplot
As a dishwasher and have seen these occur, can confirm.
WellHungNerd
Secret super geniuses?????
HumansRStrange
Yes, I've met some very very intelligent ppl in the restaurant industry. Some travelers, some students, some just like to cook.
WellHungNerd
Gotcha...I thought you might have been sarcastic, or putting out some sort of inside joke.
DrKenobi
After ten years I don't know if I love it or hate it
iamthesharkontheleft
#truth
HumansRStrange
I tell people both.
Seawolff81
Moar Stories! All the Stories!
contrabasso
https://notalwaysright.com/
JonathanBradley
Have you seen my other ones?!?
Seawolff81
Sorry I don't check albums unless prompted to do so. Will check out
JonathanBradley
Ahaha ahaha, the first comments on my other two were both "MoAr StorIes!!!"
anunexpectedgourney
What does moar mean?
JonathanBradley
Really?
HumansRStrange
Waiting tables at a casino restaurant. Lady comes in and sits by herself. Orders 4 courses, wine. Just after apps. She pisses her pants...
HumansRStrange
... doesn't bat an eyelash. Continues her meal with the puddle in and around her chair.
HumansRStrange
Same casino. Fine dining. A homeless man BURSTS IN THE DOOR NAKED. Runs to the kitchen, finds the ice machine...
HumansRStrange
... and begins to stuff ice up his ass while yelling "It's so hot!"
podunkpfunk
Wow, genuine lol from me!
thevortexmaster
1) I owned a restaurant for awhile. I frequently ate there and one time a lady eating next to me almost totally finished her meal then
thevortexmaster
2) proceeded to pull a napkin out of her purse and she had a insect in it. She dumped it in the food and I lost my shit. Called the cops on
thevortexmaster
3) on her because she wouldn't pay. People will do anything for a free meal. Just don't do it if the owner is next to you hahaha
Spikelf
So the cops did what other than scare off your other customers? That's a loss leader you let go and ban
thevortexmaster
No sorry I should have clarified. I called the cops in front of her to scare her into paying. They never came to my establishment
periwinklepanda
Wow. That is awful.
redclaysmartass
ShrubNinja
We had some folks order cheesy garlic bread, and "bread with no cheese" waitress asked if they meant rolls and they said yes. When the (1)
ShrubNinja
check was brought out they started ranting about not getting garlic bread and a dozen other things made up at the last minute. (2)
ILieForPoints
This tends to happen a lot in chain and lesser expensive restaurants all the fucking time.
Thismuchistrue
"Can you reverse cook it?"
GrampaJack
Gold.
thiswasalwaysgoingtobeamistake
Y'know, just shove it in the freezer for a bit.
ThePiedPiperofRuination
Theoretically, any chemical reaction is reversible. It's just thermodynamically unfavorable to "reverse cook" something.
paul289
Something something entropy blah blah blah
PleasantPeasantPheasant
Circle of life. eat it, crap it out grow grass on crap let cow eat grass, and there we go fresh steak.
nightripper
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjsVRIqOhGA
Mistruths
'reverse cooking' something is impossible because it reduces entropy.
ThePiedPiperofRuination
But you need to consider free energy as a whole. If reactions release enough heat, they can be driven by enthalpy even if entropy decreases.
LHC20
you can reduce entropy as much as you want to, it just has to increase 'in the grand scheme of things'...
ThePiedPiperofRuination
This is how proteins fold. The protein becomes more ordered but the water surrounding it becomes more disordered.
DonteHaversham
How do you UN-denature proteins? Wouldn't you need enzymes or ribosomes for that?
crorse
Enzymes and ribosomes are proteins, you just need more proteins to renature the denature that you already did.
ThePiedPiperofRuination
Yes, most proteins fold as they're synthesized by ribosomes and some need help from other proteins.
ThePiedPiperofRuination
IIRC, there is at least one protein that deals with RNA that can refold itself and regain its original function.
DonteHaversham
That's fine for that one protein, but cells, and organs like muscle are comprised of many proteins. They can't all refold spontaneously