LoveTheShiningWire
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This is what I thought of as a potato bug. Also known as pill bugs or rolly pollys (pronounced row-lee poe-lee)
Adorable right?
I learned my mistake.
My husband and I had just moved to CA. We volunteered to be the midnight to 3am shift for the Prisoner of War march on base at the track. The flag was to be carried for 24 straight hours around the track in memory/thought for Prisoners of War everywhere.
It was misty and cool. Very nice.
After an hour or so something emerged from the grass about 2 feet in front of me. At first I thought it was a mouse because of its size but it moved strangely for a mouse so I thought it might be an injured mouse or a large cricket.
As we came slowly up to it my mind froze in a stupor.
This is what had crawled out of the grass. I am not a bug squeamish person. I'm ok with spiders/wasps/just about anything.
This creature took me completely by surprise.
My mind classified it as a wasp/cricket/beetle/ant hybrid.
And I'm not exaggerating when I say this thing was huge. I grew up with some big ass stink bugs around where I lived and this puppy would have wrestled with the biggest of them.
We were not allowed to stop so we walked slowly by it. My husband seemed unaffected as we passed.
It shimmied and scurried over the AstroTurf in a bug like fashion.
I asked my husband if he had saw that monstrosity or if I was just tired and perhaps channeling some old God mythos into my tired brain.
He answered that it was a potato bug. What was the big deal?
What was the big deal?! It looks like a bonafide chimera of some kind. Like someone had picked off pieces of various insects and had hot glued them together.
He explained that he grew up with them and didn't see the big deal.
I have never, ever seen one and it was quite a shock.
Potato Bugs, or their proper term Jerusalem Crickets are a group of large, flightless insects of the genus Stenopelmatus. They are native to the western United States and parts of Mexico. Its large head has inspired both Native American and Spanish names.
They are not true crickets and feed mostly on dead vegetable matter and insects.
They are not venomous or poisonous but can emit a foul smell and obviously have painful bites.
There you have it. Now you know what a real potato bug looks like.
Ramses Tax
stoploggingmeoutImgurIfuckingswear
wtf where in CA? I've lived here my whole life and never seen one.
lookherebuddy
In spanish we call those "niños de la Tierra" or kids of the earth/dirt. I hear they scream like people when squished.
scaredanddelusionalmonkey
I've lived in Canada my whole life, we have potato bugs everywhere. I have never seen one of those fucking monstrosities in my life
DamianWinters
That just looks like a Weta, don't come to NZ if you're scared of those.
kickyelanore
husband and i have been considering moving...i think i will stay right here, where i have never ever seen one of those. thank you, internet!
Wherestheexitpls
...apparently there are plus sides for living up north. Seriously tho. I like finland, u know y, our biggest bugs are butterflies! (usually)
LieutenantRuby
you want to know true fear? wait till one of them jumps out of a toilet and onto your ass at two am
LoveTheShiningWire
You had me agreeing at "when one of them jumps"
SparkleJBacontits
energizerbuni
Nope.
Jellydoughnutassassin
I used to find them all over the airfield. I've found 2 camel spiders too
robincaid
I found one of these for the first time at age 30. Had the same reaction. Things are horrific
notmypoop
This just stressed me out so bad.
AMother
What base in CA? I grew up in Cali and have never seen one. Maybe they are down south?
LoveTheShiningWire
Vandenberg AFB
TheTittyLicker
Ya they're south. All over the place in LA
stoploggingmeoutImgurIfuckingswear
I'm from SoCal and I've never seen it either. Maybe central CA?
AMother
Woah woah I'm Central CA! O.o
IWouldLikeToGetOffThisRideNowPlease
Can confirm, it's CenCal. I poked one with a stick once and it reached behind itself and grabbed the stick like it was possessed. I freaked.
trulyconcernedcitizen
North of SF. They live under rocks and stuff.
Urndy
I was worried roly polies were the larva of that monstrosity and I honestly would've shit myself
LoveTheShiningWire
Right?! I played with rolly polly's when I was a kid (never hurt them) and I would have retroactively shit myself if that were the case.
LaforgeMRA
I had a similar experience when I moved to the South and discovered Cicadas. I was doing pressure washing and they'd congregate on roofs
TheTittyLicker
Cicadas ain't got shit on these
LaforgeMRA
No but being from California I'd never seen them before
TheTittyLicker
They're fast too. Once saw one peeping out from the vent above my shitter when I was taking a dump. Haven't been the same man since.
rubblerebel
Started this post like "Oh how cute you think that's a potato bug" because I had the pleasure of being 79% hungthefuckover and having one
rubblerebel
Of these little bastards crawl up in my armpit. Not my funnest surprise.
NobodyTellHim
Why is the "proper" term Jerusalem Cricket if they're native to Western North America?
LoveTheShiningWire
Here is what I found
fredflap10
They're also called Mormon crickets here in Utah. Legend states these guys showed up in the early days and seagulls ate them all.
fredflap10
Hence why the seagull is our state bird.
WontWearAFedoraNorah
I remember opening my eyes under water in the pool and being as inch away from a dead one. Screaming and flailing came next.
LoveTheShiningWire
You're lucky the vacuum your screaming mouth made didn't suck it in. That's nightmare fuel right there.
Polysingular
I was on deployment, working under a helicopter in the hangar bay of the ship when one suddenly appeared. (1)
Polysingular
Nothing says surprise like a bug crawling at a rapid rate towards your head in the middle of the night while on a floating box in the ocean
gingerladybug
We have those everywhere up here in Eastern Washington. They scared me at first, but now it's no biggy
LimJahey504
Geracht
Native from SoCal, I think they're creepy too. And I find tarantulas oddly adorable.
LoveTheShiningWire
Tarantulas are like big dopey things. Very fuzzy.
Geracht
They're terrified of dropping six inches, I can't find them an honest threat.
LoveTheShiningWire
I know! Poor fuzzy wizzies.
hotshotlawyuh
That was a big handful of nope
Grudgebearingmidget
I shall now direct you to the Origin: http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-006-j
icookfoodandfightfire
lmao i love the J series posts
LoveTheShiningWire
Oh man how cool! I LOVE SCP! I can just spend hours reading it. I wish someone would make them into collections of audio books.
UngratefulNoob
I have an SCPEveryday imgur series that I'm doing, I post one every day. Except right now the tags are broken so I'm on hiatus.
LaforgeMRA
I've been working on them one by one. I'm at SCP-1410 at the moment
ge0rd1eb4lls
Do you post them anywhere? And did you manage Critical Tomatoes in one take? Haha.
LaforgeMRA
Sorry, I meant I've been reading one by one
ge0rd1eb4lls
Devastated.
missrumsoakedkiss
My bathroom is full of those bugs. Now I won't be sleeping, ever.
LoveTheShiningWire
missrumsoakedkiss
This will be me next.
scnottaken
Had one try to crawl up my foot while I was on the computer. Still have nightmares.
TheMajesticHarpyEagle
Those are probably camel crickets or cave crickets.
missrumsoakedkiss
Camel crickets or cave crickets? Omg.
MiasmaCorrigan
well now i need pics
TheMajesticHarpyEagle
Look up Rhaphidophoridae. The family both are in.
TheMajesticHarpyEagle
http://mississippientomologicalmuseum.org.msstate.edu/images/grasshopperphotos/camel_cricket2.jpg An example.
AllTheGoodOnesWereAlreadyTaken
But you were sleeping before? With a bathroom full of hideous hybrid bug monstrosities? And it's this post that'll leave you sleepless now?
Flonaise
Jerusalem Crickets sounds like a racial slur that doesn't yet exist.
cryptzicle
Let's make it the term for when Jewish people chirp at the high prices and lack of coupons.
Elonth
All i'm picturing is a jimminy the cricket converted to Judaism with rabi curles.
SilentInSUB
Or the national underdog in some football match.
GrunticusrulerofRelmz
O.O
CassieOPeia
Not nearly as bad as Purple Wandering Jew, which is a plant.
LoveTheShiningWire
Sounds like some scary Stephen King beastie.
skydivingbigfoot
From Jerusalem, Maine of course
ILogInToUpvote
It does now, you stanky Jerusalem Cricket
SarahDactyl82
Well it fuckin does now! Ya damn Jerusalem cricket!
Crimlem
Crocodile ticks. Google it and report back on your own time. One of them domed me the other day. It was like being hit with a rock!
nigglemaster
I just got the cartoon. But afterwards, I tried alligator and I think that's what you wanted me to see.
Crimlem
That's it! Thanks! They just recently showed up here so remembering the name is difficult when half asleep!
IShootBirdsAtTheAirport
This must be an informal name, cause when I google "Crocodile tick" all I get is Peter Pan images...
Crimlem
Alligator tick is what I meant, sorry. Half asleep so certain things just get lost lol.
LoveTheShiningWire
Looks like it's alligator tick, not crocodile. Holy cow though! It's huge!
Crimlem
Yeah thanks! Hahaha half asleep when I wrote it, sorry. They are pretty ridiculous, and they just showed up one day too. Not cool!
LoveTheShiningWire
Crocodile tick is so cool though ^__^
Crimlem
They are pretty neat! I like the front graby bits, but the first time I ever saw one I was really taken aback!
riomadre
I'm from NM, we called this bug a Child Of The Earth. They were a lighter color than the CA ones, so their heads looked like babies' heads.
riomadre
Oh, and they supposedly would scream if you stepped on them/hurt them. I'm not sure if that was true, bc I'd always run.
Ifuckthingsupwhenitalk
It's true and terrifying.
Patient88
Same, From Bloomfield. We had a teach in elementary that collected them.
CaptainMunch
El Niño de la Tera is what my family called them which is basically the same thing but in Spanish
Buckbeak1486
So... What do pill bugs have to do with Jerusalem Crickets?
AmyBethMegJo
We called them "curl-up bugs". I know. Not very inspired.
steazyae
Both are called potato bugs in different regions.
ZzaLord
That's what I've been trying to figure out.
LoveTheShiningWire
Where I am from we call pill bugs (the first bug) potato bugs. I was surprised that real potato bugs are actually Jerusalem crickets.
flassk
common nickname. granted pill bugs are also known as both potato bugs and wood lice... i'd have mistaken j-crickets as australian weta
Fivemachinesinjapanese
I grew up in CA and still hate them. Fun fact: they're related to the weta which is an even larger species.
NoWisdomWithoutRegret
I thought it looked like a weta. My mom, who is violently afraid of bugs, had one crawl down her back a couple months ago.
harshinvective
I'm sorry for your loss (I assume she immediately packed up and moved to outer space)
LoveTheShiningWire
I'm too lazy to google it. Do you have any pictures? That's crazy if they are bigger O___o
UnvisibleFixer
https://imgur.com/jJuriiX
BlackBirchOwl
Oh god fuck! Why did I even look?!?!
AMassivelyObeseDragon
Jesus fuck
YaBoyWillyWill
^
LoveTheShiningWire
KahnNZ
Google wetapunga. They can get pretty huge. Rats and stoats have killed them all on the mainland but they're still around on barrier island.
KahnNZ
Complexwren
Why the hell would you let that thing bite you
UnvisibleFixer
Scientist, Russians and morons
LoveTheShiningWire
To gain its powers, duh.