SvenPek
315941
7857
274
Technically correct.
Obligatory frontpage edit; Nudes, send them. Plx.
stealthkat14
why didnt security throw crazy ex out? i've seen it happen before, everyone cheered
sildraug
Out of the green was passably clever.
AnnaNimitee
Can confirm #13 is 100% true. Source: I have friends on fb that crossfit.
Ihavewaytoomanyfavoritestosort
The army wife facebook chat was already proven to be fake.
MEEATSPINN
Does anyone actually ever send the nudes? I'm very curious.
AndIWasLikeEmiliooo
Asking the important questions.
mingotheflamingo
I cannot contain my mirth
bibidybop
Fuck Nut, once of my favorite phrases.
curiousfoxes
The Bukake one is definitely an ASU student. And definitely belongs in Scottsdale. Scottsdale is covered in jizz from all the rich folk
KrustyPartiallyGelatinatedNonDairyGumBasedBeverage
I want to read the comments on the bukkake one
NegimaSensei
A small part of me wants to say that one is fake. I think it was a series of posts but I can't fully remember.
LearnedCoward
I actually clicked "View Comments" on that one.
Bro49
I'm pretty sure #6 is faked.
Amostostic
It is fake. https://m.facebook.com/TaelorVegaIsFake
LearnedCoward
http://memegenerator.net/instance/51657474. That is all.
kittennmittons
Is that the army wife one? I just assumed it was a prostitute or cam girl trying to drum up business
YouCantKeepJetpackingAwayFromYourProblemsBrian
I remember when it first came out and people were flipping shit. I think they found both profiles in the convo to be fake?
SirNoTouchingTheDogPlease
yeah. it had that je-ne-sais-quoi
LearnedCoward
You mean real people don't randomly soapbox about how our troops are heroes fighting for our freedom?
SirNoTouchingTheDogPlease
hm. not that I've ever witnessed, personally :P
ausernamesentbythegods
Ah, see the mighty facebook dump roaming through the wilds of imgur
JeanLucPicard
I need to take a mighty dump right now too
SvenPek
And roam it shall!
ausernamesentbythegods
Whre is David Attenbrough when we need him? Will have to sub in Morgan Freeman http://imgur.com/PyM99B6
lonebanana
Sole07
...
RandomEqualsFunny
.
TheIronWolf
..
Thedogmatrix
I think the soldier one was proven to be fake, I remember seeing the same thing from the opposite side
TheRealHouseton
It's fake
d0gma
It was fake from both sides. Johnny created the Taelor account also.
ohnapkinmynapkin
"You wouldn't" Oh, he did!
ShanibalLector
The fucked up part is 99% of guys get excited at that like "awesome she only wants to fuck NSA" I have to make it clear I am also faithful.
tygerpsimatrix
"Oh honey..."
OrangeFlavours
And it's the only one where the names are left. So we know both their names.
Ravenuser
"You wouldn't" - "Would"ed woman
chimchim666
Yeah, totally fake. Taelor Vega isn't even a real person. JUst another douchebag trying to make a case for slut-shaming women.
RoboLuddite
Not surprising. His reply is pretty terrible too, it's hard to root for him.
MeanWinchester
I really want there to be an update on this... I like to know when people like this' lives fall apart
ImgurMontoya
IIRC, the guy made a fake facebook account and used to it to create that conversationnto make himself famous.
ImgurMontoya
IIRC, the guy made a fake facebook account and used to it to create that conversationnto make himself famous.
Nicholascagewithacoathangerandnicklebackalbums
Not only that but he stole a real persons name and photo for that so she got death threats. He's a piece of shit and that image needs to die
Atharaenea
Not too surprising, "she" sounded like a bot. Probably the only contact he's had with women.
kepler20c
Well Johnny certainly aint no Jody.
dhaskjdhawyajhdbsdbgwakjhbdnmcckclkklkl
that bitch a straight up hoe.
TurtlePaintedPurple
Apparently the guy faked the convo and this poor lady is getting a lot of hate for something she didn't do. :S
dhaskjdhawyajhdbsdbgwakjhbdnmcckclkklkl
Seems plausible, but on the other hand, I could also see her just saying its fake cuz, why wouldnt she?
mimomisu
she doesn't even exist....no harm done
TurtlePaintedPurple
Ahh okay. I've looked it up as well and you're correct :)
dhaskjdhawyajhdbsdbgwakjhbdnmcckclkklkl
oh thats messed up, i was actually thinking during work today, this would be an easy way to fuck someones life up.
TurtlePaintedPurple
Good news actually! She's a made up person by the guy trying to get famous. :) Just a random pic of a girl he used for it.
dhaskjdhawyajhdbsdbgwakjhbdnmcckclkklkl
Yeah i figured thats why he didnt censor his own name.
reveen
LAWRENCE
Darx94
Why were all the last names capitalized? It really bugged me.
LearnedCoward
Fuckin' A.
FakePlasticTreehugger
The voice in my head screamed it.
downofathistle
Lawrence is hilarious. I offer myself as tribute.
StonesOnTheHill
It is obviously a ruse from his side. He doesn't fuck pumpkins, his semen turns women into pumpkins.
XylophonicArchipelago
I had that moment where I thought I was on the front page, was sad any comment would be lost, realised I wasn't so wrote this
SuriBoo
I also thought i was on the front page and i just scrolled without commenting but then a bad post enlightened me.
SvenPek
Let us carry this baby to the frontpage then. *nods*
VyseN
I'm helping!
LiterallyYourMom
If it was midnight and he was fucking a pumpkin, that would mean before midnight he was fucking a horse-drawn carriage.
Sebaspwn
#15 always fucks me up because i think omg wheres the w
SlagathorDeb
Is it midnight already? - Please tell me he just received a fine instead of jail time b/c that's the funniest thing I've heard... today.
WankDeed
I didn't understand that one...
grobesviech
Why would you send someone to jail (or even fine) someone banging a pumpkin at night. Doesn't sound like he was harming anyone..
SlagathorDeb
I know!!! But he was arrested! I would think throw him in the drunk tank and be done, but noooo.
LookTheFridge
Tbh that last one would fuck me up when high.
Fosforo
Hopefully he was high and not that stupis
BabyStoneFace
http://i29.tinypic.com/15yhl5.jpg
HanShotFirst1
"A keyboard? How quaint.. . . "
Awesometp
I swear I was just banging a stagecoach.
Pothead21
lmao did not get it until i read your comment, good on ya man +1
dirtjur
Same with your penis
OkButWhyWereTheyFilming
Haha, first thing I thought, too-- but you gotta give the guy credit for being pretty hilarious right on the spot in the weirdest situation.
andIwasLikeWHAT
That's what I thought!
ButtholeDreads
Omg
UnderseaYeti
Oh, right, Cinderella didn't change...:|
GodLikeButHumble
So he's now banging a pumpkin filled with compressed Cinderella goo. Yum.
ACanadianPerson
That would feel pretty good.
GodLikeButHumble
feelsgoodman.ppe
Voydspektre
Just got the joke, thanks!
MrSomeguy
I didn't. Pumpkin? Midnight? Connection?
politelydisagreeing
That pumpkin story made me start laughing my ass off at work. I'm getting strange looks from my coworkers.
kanibal101
Shiit Same Here but I have an office.
politelydisagreeing
I wish I had an office, but I'm no where near that important yet.
bumholiday
Talk about keeping calm under pressure
wabeywoo
Please contain your mirth.
GreennPhoennix
OBJECTION!
politelydisagreeing
I refuse!
Salpinus
I've been to Horsham - this makes sense actually :p
alticaarden
Is that from the Queensland police page? They have some funny shit
TheSara
I just really want to know if he ever came.
politelydisagreeing
I doubt it, what with the cop right there.
politelydisagreeing
I doubt it, what with the cop right there.
semut
politelydisagreeing
Nah, I actually did start laughing like an idiot, I love stupid jokes.
Isleepwithamagicblankie
Me too... In the middle of a library
winterdust
SEVENTEEN TIMES, BIANCA.
SomewhatAsian
At least it wasn't 80 minutes.
strongfkennedy
How does that even happen? I don't mean the hymen, I mean having sex 17 times how does one do tha
smilesmakeeverythingbetter
Butt stuff?
cheeseballsanonymous
BIANCAS AND BEATRICES ARE KNOWN FOR WETTING MATTRESSES
MrNailbrain
That's as many as three fives and a two. And that's just terrible.
thefunbatman
Brutal
krdonnie
*Applause*
Collaborativelmgur
... exactly.
DaddysHome
they cant have been together for long. 17 times perhaps maybe one week in an early relationship, tops
hunglikehodor
Oh man young relationships are the best...
Tninja1337
What...how...I guess it really depends on the people.
ZachPutland
There's a problem if you're actually counting
MargaretThatcher
that has to hurt... not to Bianca, clearly!
BoxNumber939
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwnkFlVRCZc
CommanderRatBoy
COOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAL
Naugle
Who counts that?
pgdave
I told my first girlfriend that she'd lose count. After the first 400, I admitted that she was right.
Schmedes
I counted for a while when I was younger. I would think around 17 he would start losing track.
LearnedCoward
People who think they will never have sex again.
mordaedil
I used to count it back when I first started getting laid.
leiaili
Someone who has only had sex seventeen times.
muaddweeb
Count Von Count. 1 Mu ha ha ha!
PrincesssButtercup
I've kept track of how many times I have, I can count it on my hands. I don't even need any fingers to. It's 0, the answer is 0
Gwego
Ross Geller.
BeatyMeaty
Everyone who wants to keep a track record
TheLordLucifersBannedAccount02
I have a buddy who kept an excel spreadsheet for over two years. 49 women. And then he found a woman he could love and stopped it, but still
lightdogfang
my ex marked it on a calendar with a star, it was ok till i saw a circle.
Naugle
Uhhh... what did the circle mean?
lightdogfang
a different guy i later found out
VyseN
You don't have an app for that?
Rob661
NutCount®
VyseN
Let's make it a social network, like Untappd. You add and rate anonymously, unless chosen not to. Slogan: "Tap dis when you tap dat!"
Rob661
Make it an smart watch app, it keeps count of rounds, time, heart rate etc.
Blaised
Some nut I used to date posted the number (that he kept track of) of times we fucked on my Facebook wall. Luckily I caught it early.
DevonGronka
Wow. Some people are weird. =/
Blaised
The worst part was when he got upset that I deleted his post...
DevonGronka
What goes through a person's head before they hit enter on that post? Like do they not realize that that is just creepy?
INeedMoreGifMeMoreJustOneMore
Wow there, Hayden, you know the saying, when you wanna kill someone, dig two holes.
walterpeck
THIRTY SEVEN DICKS
ChicksDigTrucks
Snowball!
jenkinl1302
In a row?
LordChappers
Wait, what is that anyway, something like 36? Does that INCLUDE me?
Chaosdawn
Bunch of savages in this town.
Thesavagehamster
I'm not even supposed to be here today
ohlittleladybuttsexchamp4lifeohyeahohyeahohyeahohyea
hey.. TRY NOT TO SUCK ANY DICK ON THE WAY THRU THE PARKING LOT!
Thesavagehamster
Hey you get back here!
magus6796
Hey, at least i wasn't #36, right?
DumbShitIsMyTrigger
I CUNTED
nsdev
Well, that's a minute of my life I'll never get back.
mordaedil
Holy shit
TokensWorth
Ba Dum PSHHHHHHHH.
nsdev
The drum was probably more satisfied with getting banged than her.
FunctioningWorkaholic
SEVENTEEN, CORAL!
Resurrectionist
Everyone knows the capital of America is A
trlmssb
Ha Ha Ha Ha
NappaTheFriendlyGhost
This explains so much
bagofballs
No it's not. oh you sly bastard. take my +1
ButtholeDreads
Comment
4chansbboard
Reply
nocomment1188
No comment
IReallyLikeCatsButTheNameWasTaken
Wait isn't that the capital of Australia?! Does that mean that we are part of the same country?
Liiight
Ameristralia
slartifartfest
No the capital of Australia is ∀
RMR1778
Goddam it.
UnsolicitedDickPicks
IAmHaunteR
No, didn't you read the entire story?
Radenium
Not for her.
Andromidous
I think that made a lot of people's day
CrimsonNirnr00t
The guys with the small peepees always want to blame the girl for having a "loose vagina". It's rarely ever the case.
funkjacket
Ever fucked someone who has had three children vaginally over a 15 year period? Yes, son, loose cunts exist.
CrimsonNirnr00t
You sound like a delightful human being.
lifeful
hayden is clearly a douchewagon; each vagina i've come across had a unique circumference and depth leading to different sensations on my end
CrimsonNirnr00t
Damn you sound like a great lover. Any man who appreciates the differences and subtleties in a vagina is good in bed.
magisch
Having a tiny wang is no excuse though. You can still pleasure a girl well with your fingers if you try hard enough.
CrimsonNirnr00t
I have an ex-bf that had a "tiny wang" and he refused to learn any new tricks of pleasure. He was like a jack rabbit with a baby penis.
YouCantKeepJetpackingAwayFromYourProblemsBrian
My ex was average, but he was soooo boring in bed cause it was always missionary, almost no foreplay. Penis size didn't help anything, haha.
IcathianSurprise
ruthless
randomitguy
All vaginas are tight for me ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
nickg131
They will all seem that way when the girl has her legs closed and is trying to keep you out.
YouCantKeepJetpackingAwayFromYourProblemsBrian
That was the funniest reply I've read tonight, thank you. http://cdn.diyhealthremedy.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/cold-water.jpg
YouCantKeepJetpackingAwayFromYourProblemsBrian
Hell, it's just dudes who don't know how to please a woman and rather than try and improve or communicate, they blame the woman.
Feralkyn
Some of these are great and some are just cringeworthy as all hell, lol
DerpKugel
4 or 5 of these are great, but has been in every 'funny fb collection' known to man, and then there's the rest that are cringey and/or fake
Magixxxx
Some of them are obviously fake as hell, which makes them less funny :(
DerpKugel
Well even if they weren't, I still fail to see the fun in arguing ex'es throwing embarrasing stuff at each other in a public medium :/
mattbl
#5 - Sorry yellow, I think they both lost.
GIsLife
Jesus Christ though she really had that one coming
Protean2648
In what fucking world do people get instantly fired for having an ex and make a scene? They stop being your problem when you break up.
DerpKugel
Hear.. If not fake, it's a sad display of how people go from loving each other to humiliating each other in front of all their friends :/
RoboLuddite
Yeah, it's fake
DerpKugel
Yeah I would think so. But I HAVE seen some couples take their stuff out publicly IRL, never this badly though
RoboLuddite
Fortunately I've never seen it in person (a little passive aggressive crap from acquaintances notwithstanding). It's just awful!
DerpKugel
Yep, had an friend once on fb I had to unfriend, because she would ALWAYS take shit out on her SO that way, with her other friends cheering