poronkusemania
286542
18301
289
I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling kids!
Jun 16, 2016 12:44 PM
poronkusemania
286542
18301
289
Michelicorne
"He reads porno in a foreign langage" I guess I'm a fuckin polyglote then.
RBCPA
I'm still caught on Arabic porno
FabulousBadass
Winning like Sheen.
krapmyself
Poor guy. He was born in the wrong era. 100 years ago his energy drink would have been revolutionary and today we'd have Jasper-Cola
mikmcllstr
Boone County is a national treasure. For those who haven't seen The Wild Wonder Whites of West Virginia please do so immediately!
ExtrovertedLurker
InvigoratedSloth
Private browser, huh?
MethGasolinePissLemonade
Hmm, finally relevant.
poronkusemania
whale oil beef hooked
elmuchacholoco
That label looks FDA approved. What's the problem?
mrtakebacksies
Isn't this an episode of the Oblongs?
DidItForScience
http://oblongs.wikia.com/wiki/The_Golden_Child
mrtakebacksies
Thank you for that. Too lazy to look up on my own.
tokenhooker
LOVE the Oblongs.
somepeoplecallmeNACHOS
What the fuuuuuck
phatmeme
You said it mang!
sdmj63
Making drinks in a tree house. Age is only a number
HaroldTheCleverSheep
Oh Boone County! Home of the crazies.
goodrunofbadluck
The Whites are from there right?
poronkusemania
I believe so!
HaroldTheCleverSheep
Yessir!
tehmeisterer
"I swear to God I didn't put meth in there...OK, I put just a little meth in there..."
KingS0lo
Methpissade is a hell of a drug!
BubsPeps
FLORIDA MAN VS WEST VIRGINIA MAN
poronkusemania
TUNE IN THIS SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY!
deskspud
Oct. 9, 2011 courtesy photo of Delbert Edwin Huber, DOB 06-21-1930. A Paynesville man sentenced to 30 years in prison for a shooting
millenniumf
Don't let a little thing like facts ruin a perfectly good internet story...
Neoptelemus
This guy and his son murdered a one of our local teachers. I'm glad he's going to die in prison. (I'm from New London)
MySpaceAccountFrom2007
Walter White's less successful brother
Macalucifer666
I love when people think fake shit on the Internet is real.
poronkusemania
shhhh - you'll give me away
codpeace
Fake but quite creative.
poronkusemania
Indeed. I just thought reading it was a blast so I had to share!
PleaseDontRespondToMySarcasticCommentsWithASeriousReply
Honestly, this would not be that big of a stretch for Boone County. That place is everything negative you've ever heard of WV times 1000
Konsumerlaw
Always up vote West by God Virginia...
Denizan
West Virginian right here!
Mommiana
No.Matter.What.
IHateTryingToFindAUserNameThatIsNotTaken
How did I not hear about this? I'm from Boone...lol.
poronkusemania
You should do a story time post with all that you've seen.
IHateTryingToFindAUserNameThatIsNotTaken
The horrors...lol
poronkusemania
Keep me posted of you decide! :D
IHateTryingToFindAUserNameThatIsNotTaken
Sure will :D
NixonDidNothingWrong
Because it's fake.
poronkusemania
Shush.
IHateTryingToFindAUserNameThatIsNotTaken
Fake it may be, but it wouldn't surprise me at all.
ih8rachael2
The website says the story is fake.
poronkusemania
yes but it's still a fun read :D
mothateresa
Stop ruining it. Just let the internet magic happen.
poronkusemania
mooselikestoparty
Boone County, WV is fucked. I grew up in the neighboring Raleigh County.
[deleted]
[deleted]
mooselikestoparty
You can't pick up an entire county. I understand.
pandoraslunchbox
I'm from Cabell, I've always stayed away from Boone.
icelicker
Lived in BC my whole life, I never realized there were so many weird things going on here until I grew up.
TroyPolamalusHair
Bulldog, Tide, or Skyhawk?
icelicker
Tide, you?
TroyPolamalusHair
Bulldog lol
jesserffl
I'm from Lewis. Parents always said stay away from Boone County.
godbutcher
I'm from Wyoming County. I agree 100%
Neoptelemus
This guy is a murderer from Paynesville, Minnesota. Delbert Hubert is his name. The teacher he murdered doesn't deserve being made into a
Neoptelemus
Stupid internet story
disinfectantrum
You mean he isn't one of the wonderful Whites of West Virginia?
poronkusemania
Perhaps a cousin.
tokenhooker
If you get too old to cut the mustard, lick the jar!
tokenhooker
Boone County mating call!!!
Morebetternow
YES!!
tokenhooker
Sorry, I cannot control myself.
tokenhooker
Dennis is THIS!!
tokenhooker
Dennis drove an eighteen wheeler, I love eighteen wheelers.
tokenhooker
I got me eight mine shafts in this here hollar!
Iwannausernamethatwontdrivemecrazy
Give Jesco a taste of this and then watch him dance!
tokenhooker
Hahahaha!!
whatevsies
I want this to be true, and I also want this to not be true.
ShaunAdams
I've never heard of the guy or this exact story but there were a few kids hospitalized for putting ethanol in Mountain dew.
kogunenjou
I'm from here and I never heard anything about this. I feel like this is something that would have made some noise.
Epinephilim
"some noise," he says. But I agree, no corroborating sources, etc.
icantremembermyusernameatall
It's very true. If you haven't seen it, I suggest watching The Wild and Wonderful Whites of WV. Boone County is a crazy place.
PleaseDontRespondToMySarcasticCommentsWithASeriousReply
Went to WVU and they had Jesco White in as a public speaker in my sociology class. I haven't been the same since.
bohemiancrabcity
CPS tuk er baby.
jherazob
A dilemma for the ages
DreamCatcher01
I know HS kids can be pretty stupid but surely they should know better than to buy liters of "energy drink" from a dude in an adult 1/2
WhoIsTheDodie
I wonder if they know Krogers has 5hr energy style drinks 10/$10
Jacxy
Shai-Hulud! 20 of those would get you folding time and space for the guild!
philcollinsdrumbreakdown
One word: jenkem
doucher
I'm sure he told the kids it would get them fucked up. It's West Virginia. He probably just told them "it's shine with a twist"
andrewtater
Who swears a big diaper and lives in a tree? Jasper June does!
veronicamarsdestroyerofworlds
I can 100% guarantee that if this guy lived near my hometown, my former HS classmates would buy his shit
CondescendingCunt
To be honest, I think he should be released and have his business receive a governmental grant. Weed out the stupid of the gene pool and all
DreamCatcher01
diaper that lives in a tree. 2/2
Rhiawesome
They are from the hills of WV... pretty sure peeps aren't known for their marts in that part of the country...
theblackcanaryyy
The most fake thing about it to me was the fact it was 20 bucks lol
DidItForScience
I heard he puts on a top hat and tuxedo when he's actually selling the stuff. The cops caught him in his employee break/piss/wank/meth room.
poronkusemania
http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/reddeadredemption/images/9/92/Rdr_can_swindler_change_spots14.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20110112164150
IAmDrBanner
Not to mention that it is just a plastic bottle with yellow content inside and a shitty hand-drawn "Energy Drink" label.
MasterSavage
They are from boone county WV.... as someone that lives in WV. You greatly over estimate our general population intelligence
CaptainHughJass
They were obviously high.
IOnceOwnedMoonMoonButOnceHeTriedToLickMyBallsAndRanAwayIMissHim
I bet they got schooled now.
DrKriegersClone
There's just about always some teenager stupid enough to do just about anything if it's advertised as "this will get you high".
DreamCatcher01
True story. Pixie Sticks were just banned in my son's junior high b/c kids were snorting them in the bathroom to try to get high. No joke.
DrKriegersClone
I mean, I've heard of Aussie delinquents even injecting vegemite.
MagicallyMike
Wow. I'm trying to imagine what that would do to you...
DrKriegersClone
No idea whether it actually does produce a high, but it would be insanely easy to cause a blood clot.
dhaskjdhawyajhdbsdbgwakjhbdnmcckclkklkl
or like, come on dude, just look at the fucking bottle, who would buy that shit?
DidItForScience
Dude, it comes with the territory in underground hyper-local startup funding, it's supposed to look folksy and home made!
TossABabyYodaToYourWitcher
This is why we should stop hospitalizing idiots
DoublDee
Sieg heil, MechaHitler. Praise your almighty wisdom! *bows*
NayrChastain
It's West Virginia. Boone County at that. If you don't know watch the documentary "the wonderful whites of West Virginia." It's a doosey
BriBriTheShyGuy
Its boone county, it doesnt get much dumber in WV than out in boone.
SDBS6996
Boone county is a rough fuckin place. It's the Florida of West Virginia
[deleted]
[deleted]
Konsumerlaw
+1 for username
flikrdoodles
Unfortunately I can't +1 for username if it's [deleted]
JohnGetz
As a West Virginian I agree
filthymcnasty04
Boone County mating call
TroyPolamalusHair
My whole family lives there.
Maeveiszombies
Also from WV, you're absolutely correct about that.
eagleyankee
I'll be in lovely Boone County all weekend, I'm looking this guy up
ShaunAdams
I'm from Boone County lol where will you be staying?
YupitsmeKarl
prolly in a fucking tree
pandoraslunchbox
It really is.
Wildeyed
West Virginian here. You get my first upvote ever.
Badlyphotoshopedconfucedfloofygiraff
Not the villain we want but the villain we deserve.
SnapYes
GoodGameYoungLad
My man!
inneuandos
Oh my, that was crystal clear +1
FsImgur
This has to be one of the funniest things EVER. Anyways - is he selling the recipe?
SometimesISayHistoryStuff
His plan was more successful and made more sense than Lex Luthor. So he's got tha going for him.
WillZMacht
So he was selling Powerthirst?
YupitsmeKarl
Brawndo?
ZLowe
Your kids will run as fast as Kenyans!
Dahlerbill
People will see them running and think they're KENYANS.
treeshakertucker
uncomfortably energetic
Canoeinmypocket
Powerthirst. It's like crystal meth in a can. It's crystal meth in a can. Powerthirst is crystal meth.
Grudgebearingmidget
Warning: May contain Anna Kournikova
kapitanextreme
But in which flavour? MANANA, FITZZBITCH OR GUN?
HanktheHeliotropeShank
Godberry, king of the juice.
WillZMacht
Juice Springsteen. Can't you tell by his blue collar?
CatBlaster5000
Turn that every man into a BEVERYMAN
CatBlaster5000
GRATUITOUS AMOUNTS OF ENERGY
fadingtheory
Your move, Florida Man. You'll have to work a bit harder then usual to beat gasoline meth piss energy drinks in a tree fort.
ukan
Actually Florida Man got arrested for punching a Swan at Lake Eola
sweetrobot
I think if we count Orlando mass shooting in, Florida man is on it...
BadBunnyXoXo
Florida native here... Moved to west Virginia and came back after three months... Fuck that place. Floridian for life
IconicNebula
West virginian who went to florida. Same reaction about florida. Guess home is where the meth is.
poronkusemania
EbolaSandwich
Favorite comment of the week!
BriBriTheShyGuy
WV doesnt normally get news spread outside of the state because this stuff is so regular for us it has become our norm.
DrSparkles
"Your move, Florida Man" made me cackle out loud like a cartoon villain
orcavsgreatwhite
don't dare Florida Man. Florida Man will deliver.
Spinnyd
He probably already has, gonna have to do some research
DeathTheChemist
Florida man doesn't have to work harder is pet alligator is helping him already.
DeathTheChemist
Dammit. I meant "His"
MyOhMyThePizzaSky
Damn, this a dark ass joke.
TheMagicSloth
Don't worry imgur still loves you Death
swinglinered
or cockney accent
poronkusemania
Don't forget about the adult diaper! :D
SuperPickle17
While browsing Arabian porn
Jevus
I feel like every word in this article just ups the ante from the last. Of course it has to be fake.
Jevus
http://charmcitywire.com/im-all-in-on-this-guy-selling-energy-drinks-filled-with-crystal-meth-and-gasoline-out-of-his-tree-fort/
flumphcushion
says it is fake in the story.
eetsumkaus
do it with a child diaper.
Goku2012
How is someone gonna take you seriously in a CHILD'S diaper?
eetsumkaus
you might have a chance if you wear a used one
Goku2012
Oh. Well I mean if you class it up like that, yeah.
danishjuggler21
West Virginia Man is catching up to you, Florida Man!
Spinnyd
So far to go though.
IconicNebula
Being from west virginia this shit happens a lot. Espicially with meth. Meth is big here.
danishjuggler21
Of course it is. It takes a ton of meth to forget that you live in a shitty place like West Virginia.
IAmDrBanner
"Florida Man dressed as alligator kidnapes small child. Forgets he is actually human and eats the kid, the plan failed."
TerribleTurkeyzz
Please tell me this is real
Imghurrr
It happened in Orlando couple days ago
TerribleTurkeyzz
That is incredible
Imghurrr
Well.. the details were a bit different than imgur's twist
TheRaiderofRandom
Unless Florida Man is better at not getting caught...Nevermind, I don't know what came over me.
outspokencanary
OMG stop ????hahaha
Primorditek
Why is this not top comment?!
JamesDaash
Someone is subscribed to Birdman
AkujiMalice
florida man joins isis and kills 60 people in a night club.
pachyderm
lol
Thebearpoker
Apparently you don't know about Jenkem!
CoRektiveAction
Looks like you are from St. Pete huh?
Thebearpoker
Ft Myers
DressInDragAndDoTheHula
I heard Florida man impregnated 16 teenage girls in a swimming pool recently.
swinglinered
link?
DressInDragAndDoTheHula
somewhere on this damn site. i'll have to find it
swinglinered
go go go do do do live live live!
prepbatman
yeah not gonna lie... I really thought this was gonna be Florida Man.
eviscera
As someone who lives in Virginia, this man is an *average* example of West Virginians.
WittyNerdReference
I don't win every day, but I'm feeling pretty good about knowing my kids wouldn't drink piss lemonade from a creep in a tree.
ferryp
So many parents have no clue about what their kids are up to. I bet your kids prefer fresh salty Fanta straight from the source..
imhoots
Well, not at those prices.
nasreal
Every day, you wake up nowhere near Boone County West Virginia, sounds like winning to me....
TheGreatClockworkJohnson
Being from WV this is indeed a win
millenniumf
Is this the voice of experience?
thestorysogwar
this is at 2,222 up votes and i don't want to ruin that so i'll do it later when some asshole ruins it
eruditic
at least 2 little girls did; Parents of the Year FTW
bobk88
Meth is ok though ;)
cwsams
Creep in a tree? More like an average American hero.
Blamblam101
Dad, I have something to confess.
TomVeilTomVeil
Blamblam101
Thanks for the laugh. lol
WittyNerdReference
You're in big shit for being on Imgur at school.
metzershmit
Your kids are still in school? Christ, we're halfway through June!
browsib
In England the summer holiday starts in mid-July
demonic
Summer school because they lost brain cells after buying $20 energy drinks
WittyNerdReference
My kids are in summer day camp while I work. I forgot summer break was a thing because I'm an adult at work and life is sad.
Grudgebearingmidget
giving kids shit for being on Imgur in school whilst being on Imgur at work....LOGIC!
HD226868
My younger siblings really ARE still in school, believe it or not.
zoomball
And just when you think you know your kids...
WeGetItYouReadUsernames
they *didint drink the meth piss *today
MrBatata
Plot twist: @WittyNerdReference has no kids!
WittyNerdReference
2 kids. I later asked them if they'd do this. Eldest gave a sarcastic "yes", because she enjoys disappointing me. Procreation is a vain feat
MrBatata
I feel you brah
BrewedDude
*yet
DadDoom
That's what you think.
BillWeenus
It's a Deep South thang.
Spinnyd
West Virginia has never been "A South" anything, Them's mountain folk! They broke away from Virginia at the start of the civil war.
dudewheresmyname
Sorry bubba, that's not deep south. deep south is anything south of Georgia.
Thisbefluff
Deep South is anything west & south of Atlanta
BillWeenus
"Jasper June of Boon County" must've thrown me off.
Denamic
Same here. Though the only reason I can be sure of that is because I don't have any kids. I hope.
WittyNerdReference
Here's to hoping none of your bastards are out there drinking meth piss lemonade.
MagicBaconBits
No, they'll just be "cheesing" in the basement with the neighbours cat.
swinglinered
had to look that up
MagicBaconBits
Now you know and knowing is half the battle
swinglinered
Half of GI JOE had to go to detox for Jenkem. Now this...
Kowawa
Ooooooooooooooooooo.. Who lives in a tree and pissed in every bottle?
WittyNerdReference
REDNECK DIAPER PANTS.
millenniumf
Funny reply AND lives up to his username. +1, sir!
LordSupergreat
Tree FORT.
swinglinered
Started as house, kept adding
Beepis
http://imgur.com/PyxXQ8T
swanglemydangle
They buy it from a dude in a dumpster like any self respecting kid.
Chiluzza
Its the little victoriws like this that counts as parents
poronkusemania
You have some good kids then lol
HarryPotterReferenceProbably
Is this the standard?? My kids must be friggin angels then.
ItDoJust
With you as their parent, definitely. ;)
tomyironmane
I don't have kids. And they'd know not to buy piss-gas-meth lemonade from an old creep in a diaper in a tree.
beatricetheadventurer
I had to come back to +1 this comment. made me laugh out loud.
TigerSauce
wearing a fucking diaper. Please don't forget that point.
SomeoneNotFromTheNSA
makes sense, he doesn't need to leave his tree fort as often, and it gives him a convenient projectile weapon for dealing with intruders
nasreal
And reading an Arabic porn mag. Where the fuck did he get Arabic porn mag in WV?
TheDino
His mailbox?
Iforgetmyusernameeasily
How the fuck did that old fuck find an arabic porno magazine lol.
SomeGeographer
Have you been to Singapore?
TheJazzJackrabbit
I want to know how that old fuck gets up and down a tree fort?
poronkusemania
lots of meth
throwawayaccounttho
Well, not with that attitude
RichHammond
You read the whole story and THAT is what you're questioning?
UmmmPhrasing
His way of asking "source?"
AustinVainDolan
You're asking for a friend I assume?
WittyNerdReference
Vintage?
poronkusemania
That was my guess.
Blitzed97
I live in the arab world, there never was a porno magazine published here, even in the past.
Lamech777
Then that's one hell of a marketing strat!