HernanDJSosa
129536
5453
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Jul 22, 2016 1:57 AM
HernanDJSosa
129536
5453
219
Felixfelices
I laughed so hard I woke up
Hendlton
What the fuck, America? Guns? Sure! Tasty food? NO! THAT'S DANGEROUS!
Mephyblef
I think imgur has too much Tumblr, and it's an unfunny and dull website where everyone repeats themselves
jimcake
I'M SQUANCHING IN HERE!
TankLovesFranya
*Dies trying to poop* "What can you do, y'know?"
GodsRightHandMan
lol
HorseGirlErection
It's almost depressing to imagine these people sitting alone in their rooms coming up with these bullshit stories.
Solomon13
"The whole street clapped and everyone is totally sweet on me"
domzie
So i looked it up and... Yellow (Mirabelle) plums really are illegal. Huh.
HernanDJSosa
Thank you for that. Now I know the name of said Plum :)
memento765
why are they illegal?
HernanDJSosa
I read it was something about not bringing pests or diseases that could cause other plants to die.
cmk0005
I just woke up my girlfriend to ask her if we had any light bulbs cause I couldn't wait till the morning to tell that joke
kibouchi
Well if no one else will do it I will. Shrek is love. Shrek is life.
Nerdygasm
Honestly, I liked most of these and even the "unicorn" one was funny and clever.
Roentheassassin
I always kinda thought he should have said unique-corn instead. Same joke but better word play
Nerdygasm
To each their own, of course!
kevinator
Dad?
Nerdygasm
Well, I've always been one of the guys but I'm a Mom, not a Dad. Is that close enough?
kevinator
Nice!
whydomypoststhatreachfrontpagealwaysgetdeleted
Lost it at "no... You human"
Scrotumpunch
I bet all of these people are that quick witted and funny, and none of these stories are made up. I'm sorry for the cynicism.
thatoneyanderezelda
Oh my H*CK you guys, come on, you pieces of p*op, you f**aking s*ck and cr*ppy d*rt bags! Jk lelz
AfroSamuraiRM
iamgerman
I thought that trampoline belonged to that defendant joke and was longer confused than I care to admit
whatfjdlsmd
Tumbler in a nutshell "OMG IM CRYING"
TalkingDustBunny
But.....I just saw yellow plums the other day?
LordDenmark
I woke up so hard i laughed......
gormtheoldthesleepyofdenmark
Do you ever have a weird dream and only realize after you try to put it into words, that your subconscious mind is making a bad pun?
Dongblaster9000
Some of these make me think they didn't happen, they just sat down and went "it'd be funny if I had so I'll pretend I did".
Iwasoutedbyatroll
MRW I read the golf tipping one: "That's plum crazy!"
BobaFettisLove
Honestly, this post made me realize "object" and "object" are spelled the same but pronounced different...
geeroboz
differently*
Nykidemus
Your objection is noted.
HappyTato
If a word is both an object and a verb, the stress is usually on the first syllable for the object and the second for the verb I believe.
AfroSamuraiRM
Yeah, I think we all read somethings wrong at some point.
NefariousSloth
Most excellent dump
barrbluej
For those wondering, they were Mirabelle plums https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mirabelle_plum
AccountCreatedToUpvoteDogs
I'm stealing grandpa's "no ballroom" joke.
benegelcher
Ok
HernanDJSosa
Great :)
Hedgehogsareadorable
Laying here trying to quietly giggle at all of these at 4 30am so I don't wake my bf up.... damn insomnia
imgurhardlyknowur
http://explosm.net/comics/2648/
HernanDJSosa
Hahaha Comic is funny
Abomb2933andstuff
Oh yeah suuuuuure, #6 TOTALLY happened.
kibouchi
It happened in some parallel universe according to the multiverse theory.
IDownvoteUnsaucedPosts
Nowhere on #6 did it pretend to have happened...
fuckyouandyourwittyusername
I don't know, I've seen some confrontational old people that would say stuff like that. And If I laughed out loud, I would stop too.
CrisisActor
/r/thathappened
johnjohnsonthefirst
And then everyone clapped
Synai
But they were interrupted by an oncoming fire-breathing ten foot tall dragon which she proceeded to slay with her inherited katana.
Abomb2933andstuff
But not a minute after a second dragon emerged from the nearby lake, no other than Nessie! It then proceeded to ask me for about tree fiddy.
b0bward28
SHE STOPPED WALKING DUDE
AssKickerson
Happened or not, why write the story in all caps? Didn't seem particularly funny or extraordinary.
Synai
What about 'this is daring'? It's the most overused fake story in the history of philosophy exam stories.
DrHenryJonesJr
I know, what college essay goes by number of pages and not word count
TheFamousNecromancerMrBones
Tumblr as a rule is a series of entertaining lies. As is 4chan, Reddit, Facebook, Porn, and basically every other part of the internet.
EskimoJohn
Sure, but the point of the lie shouldn't be too talk yourself up.
YoungJackZer0
It's less entertaining than all the others you mentioned though.
[deleted]
[deleted]
TinyPear
Edgy
oogeewaa
I better be careful, I might cut myself on that edge
TheFamousNecromancerMrBones
Whatever summer, everyone knows OP never delivers.
TheFamousNecromancerMrBones
Thats life
Kaithar
That's what all the people say
cheezitzonrye
Flyin high in April
Draconiene
Shot down in May
pinkrabbithole
How come so many tumblrians have pun dreams that wake themselves up
AlkeneThiol
This has happened to me before in reality. But I don't remember what it was
BaldVinnie
When I was little. I would dream I was sitting on the toilet, then piss the bed and wake myself up
Thejunkfoodkid
Did this once when I was about 11. I was so mortified I hid my sheets and refused to drink anything after a certain time for months
quisuisjeouvaisjedansquelleetagere
Did it last week. I'm 27 and now deeply scared of doing it in bed with a lady friend.
SweetStache
Because it's all made up
Wormbo2
I've done it once. And on remembering the joke, it wasn't even funny. I was so disappointed.
Danielmakesmusicitsgreat
Tumblr stories remind me of all the "Cool stuff" I'd tell people after summer holidays, when really I was camping with my family...
goatfatdoc
Well, you're no fun.
zangelange
This 10000x over. "OMG I HAVE A GREAT PUN THAT NEVER HAPPENED... A DREAM MAKES SENSE!!!"
TheKrombopulosMichael
DalesEatsSnales
98% of the stories on tumblr are made up. 2% have a slight possibility of being real
LoganCreed42
Swear to gods i had one. Flying a spaceship and people in the back are yelling about something...1
LoganCreed42
I yell back "We can fight about this in hyperspace, but lets not jump to conclusions." Thats to lame to be fake.2
ailceous
sometimes i forget they said it was a dream at first and its like a little plot twist at the end that shouldn't surprise me but did anyway
Potentiate
Yeah, we never indulge in such paltry pastimes as repeating similar phrases as that would be beneath us.
FeenyBoBeany
i had a dream i got so offended and woke myself up
maroobear
Dang it. You beat me to it.
holomanga
Because you don't see anyone sharing the dreams that don't have puns that they don't wake up from.
ATrainedChimpanzee118
/r/Thathappened
PrincessAnus
I mean.. I've had jokes in dreams so fucking funny I woke up giggling.. And soem so sad I woke up crying. I'm an emotional dreamer.
drpycakes
Idk, you guys are lucky, i got the noodle dream
HernanDJSosa
What's the noodle dream?
Ikbeneenpannenkoek
I just laughed myself awake from a guy saying "I hope you're having fun in my lawwwwn care." The fuck?
Melber
I had a dream all men are created equal and laughed so hard I woke myself up.
yuzumi1
I had one once. Cant remember it but it was funny as hell
Brucecori2
Everyone else wakes up laughing while I have literally woken up crying... :(
Brucecori2
I'm not saying that I woke up and then cried but that I literally woke up with tears leaking from my eyes.
HernanDJSosa
Bad Dream?
Brucecori2
Fairly frequently. The last time it happened though, I was sharing a bed with a friend and they freaked out seeing me cry in my sleep. lol
HernanDJSosa
lol