MaltLiqourMullet
159866
5113
80
Jun 14, 2018 11:46 PM
MaltLiqourMullet
159866
5113
80
arewenotkingsandqueenstogether
This is great! Reminds me of the poorly-made burrito review.
POTKC
Reminds me of that awesome story about that guy who got high and then met the president of Ireland
rhetoricIjustmether
Man, what an awesome story. I live here in CO and NO ONE ever listens. You have to learn on your own. Always start slow and low.
100percentgenuineimitation
Retired from the navy and 20 years of not getting high, a buddy got me some "Medical" weed. HOLY SHIT! 3 hits and I forgot how to breath!
DasMutt
Last time I smoked, I spent the next several hours in bed, spinning on the long axis until the brain decided enough was enough & checked out
rimehoarfrost
I remember my first edible. I was glad I did not eat 3, that’s for sure.
DoctorDudeBruh
My first edible experience was with a giant molass cookie. I was high for the whole day. I had to fake a migraine to wear sunglasses inside.
DoctorDudeBruh
Except we were sitting but I didn't realize it for 2 hours.
420ismycakeday
Love this. So funny and vivid. Glad he made it thru lol.
Gafftop
GREAT read
kurooooooo
OP read the reddit thread yesterday, stumbled upon that comment with this story and postet it right?
MaltLiqourMullet
That is scarily accurate.
SaturnBaby
Oh god, I relate to the “time is disconnected” comment so much. Everything takes SO LONG.
argleb
I've never done any drugs, not even pot... Now I want to, thankfully I live in Oregon so I can get my hands on it easy. Edibles here I come.
doittomorrowyouknowwhatimtalkingabout
Seriously do it in a place you feel very comfy and safe. Shit just gets amplified so because he was terrified it made it x10 worse.
argleb
yea if I do end up giving it a try, it will be at home, not much of a person that likes to go out, bp high enough at home, higher outside
ShowMeYourBoardgames
You can always take more but you can never take less
SquatttingDog
TwistedAttitudes
Him at the dinner table
DrewSf29
"these dinner rolls are too spicy" omg I am literally laughing out loud
idontwannagomrstark
shutupjennifer
So I stopped reading briefly at "killed a whole family" and was alarmed until I made myself reread
theheebs25
nothing says love like "Please don't die, we have a mortgage."
teardropivyyearofthetiger
Also barfing and groveling
SheTurnedMeIntoANewtButIGotBetter
I don't understand that. Don't you have a life insurance on the loans ? In case you die or get permanently disabled, it gets paid ?
PotassiumRegulatoryCommittee
I didn't bother reading this story
HotDogPantsX
Large doses infrequently, and ideally not before dinner with the out-laws. I do know your pain, friend. You’re better for it
damnallthegoodnamesaretaken
I took 2 hits of ecstasy once and it was fucking incredible.
tinytinkingdom
I thought I took 5 but later my dealer admitted he messed up the dose and it was 10. Albert Einstein was in the wall watching the whole time
TalosGuideUs
Did you die though?
valen00
In the wise words of naboo
splatking
boosh is life
flacoloco
I needed a laugh today, this made it thanks
faptasticvoyage
It's a repost from several months ago at least.
popemorganCDXX
Me too man, I was dying from this story omg
NotLampButLlamp
Same here buddy. Hang in there. And good work op
ImLyingForPoints
Same thing here guys, hope y'all are doing well
ImperialRedGuard
Same here, y'all. We'll get through it
mechanimated
I think the part that spoke most to me was the guy going "WHAT. PSH. NO" in response to "did u do the fuckin thing"
Bramda
Is there anyone ever who hasn't eaten way too much edible on their first go? Shit I still do that when I've gone too many months without.
KillaFish
Me! I don’t consume drugs without doing research. Considering the tons of stories like this you would think people wouldn’t still do it.
JeremyPeevin
1/2 Do not take 6 times the dose before you know how you'll react to one dose is sound advice. But, I gotta say, I've been there.
Ballsackhands
My favorite high was eating 4 brownies, very strong ones. I became a master of figure painting. Just focus on a task. It's like adderal.
SqueakShow
Me too. Didn't know edibles take forever to kick in so I gorged myself. Next thing you know I thought there were angry pygmies in the house
lemmonjello
Digesting it really kicks the psychoactive effects to thc
snowballzero
I've done space camp for aliens a few times. I've been high for 20hr before it wore off completely from edibles. God they are fun ????
snowballzero
My bed turned into a Stargate once and I went wormhole jumping through the galaxy.
JeremyPeevin
2/2 but your story reminds me of this Louis CK story https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8FzGlgVGdo
Nero12353245
.
somecunninglinguist
omg this is hilarious
gnarlyfartz
I love it when my vision goes BEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOooooooooo
JeremyPeevin
"Oh SHIT! This is an ORDEAL now." Yes, I have actually thought those words."
analyticmonkey
I totally thought of it too at the "nod your head" part
billionyearoldcarbon
1,2,3; look at the next person! 1,2,3; change directions!
analyticmonkey
2, 3- randomize, don't go in the same direction!
Bregon
The first time I tried edibles was some my brother made. Being an older brother his first thought was to see how stoned he could get me.
Bregon
2 huge homemade brownies later I'm stuck on the couch with his wife yelling at him, him laughing and me desperately trying to fend off my
Bregon
Nephew who thinks I came over to play games all while stuck in manual breathing mode.
AccountCreatedToUpvoteDogs
It sounds like such obvious advice when it's Advil or something, so what is up with people and edibles? Not the first horror story I've seen
Corrodias
He immediately gorged on 6 doses despite KNOWING the dose size because ... he likes cookies? Just before they went to a dinner with his »
Corrodias
wife's parents? This story is absurd unless the man has severe developmental issues.
SpitefulRed
My brother got my BF high on wax for our Xmas get-together and he asked my mother in her kitchen where he was. Embarrassing. It happens.
Corrodias
Not saying I disbelieve that it happened or anything, just that the guy is, say, probably not an engineer.
skincancerisfun
People think people who takes drugs are stupid, ask them for advice, then do the opposite to prove how smart they themselves are.
skincancerisfun
it rarely goes well
LizardEnterprises
Okay, but like, what kind of savage DOES only eat half a cookie?
Doopapotamus
That's the biggest takeaway from thist: who and why would you make cookies you cannot eat by the handful? Monsters.
SpitefulRed
That's why I dial down the recipes. I'd prefer "fun" or "mellow" over "terrifying"... most recipes call for waaay too much.
JeremyPeevin
This is why storebought edibles are bullshit. NO ONE EATS HALF A COOKIE. ESPECIALLY NOT HALF A FUCKING GINGER SNAP. Who the fuck made these?
Dontdearabbyme
Someone who knew high people get munchies, and they'd end up eating more than they should and then they'd want to buy more?
skincancerisfun
I have, and trust me its not a path you want to follow
LizardEnterprises
As someone who's currently munching on red velvet oreos, I'm not sure I want to take advice from someone who thinks @skincancerisfun ...
skincancerisfun
What you want to hear and what you need to hear are not always the same thing
LizardEnterprises
Well right now what I can hear is the sound of me chewing cookies. So nyeh!
actualjesus
Someone who reads the instructions! I mean, it is ridiculous, but there's a reason they include dosages
LizardEnterprises
They could have not made the dosage 1/2 a cookie tho...
Dontdearabbyme
That's like how they make Arizona Iced Teas in a can that contains 3 servings
Dontdearabbyme
No one is going to drink 1/3 of any drink that's in a can.
CtTraceur
I did that once. With acid. It wasn't an easy night.
climbontotheshore
I took a relatively normal dose and tripped so hard it compares to v. high dose trip reports. Mercy on my younger self.
ClockworkKoala
I used to dabble too. Don't ever think it's a good idea to take 6 hits before going into a college classroom. My prof's face was melting.
idontwannagomrstark
My homie had a bad trip and was calling me over and over. He said he was afraid of coming out retarded. Good news is he doesn’t do acid now
godzillasgreatleader
Yup... good old phone call from the middle of the store tripping balls at 5am
idontwannagomrstark
He was mad at me for not answering but he learned his lesson
justagirlchildpassingthrough
Story time?
justagirlchildpassingthrough
To all of you? with experience .
CtTraceur
I got plenty of stories, if you want to hear them.
justagirlchildpassingthrough
justagirlchildpassingthrough
Yes please
KnowmSaying
Yep. Fuck acid
figgy1252
Acid is only fun when everyone your with is on acid.
Skywalker2416
More fun*
BugEyedLemur
I love acid. Definitely been chewed up and spit a few times tho. Respect it as much as I love it.
CtTraceur
Have to respect the drugs you're taking.
KnowmSaying
I got chewed up and spat a few too many times
BlendeLabor
That sounds like a terrible life choice... At a friend's house around people you know? Sure! In public though...
CtTraceur
I was at a music festival in philly. The music and lights were great, even if I couldnt fully enjoy them. The after party in the hotel (1/2)
CtTraceur
room though was less enjoyable. I had to crawl under a bed just to even out.
mwppmarauders
My first acid trip was at an anime con. Holy fuck it was fun.
thegeneralgeneral
Storytime? This almost seems like it deserves its own post
humaneffigy
Walmart on acid is like a tour of hell. Something is very wrong and very dark about everyone and everything. Never in public.
JonSnowsFather
Took a solid 2 hour break in a display tent at a Walmart during a peak. Came out feeling world's better and needing a cigarette.
humaneffigy
lol sounds about right.
thegrimtrigger
One night I did acid. I drove to my best friend's house, then we he wasn't home drove to my therapists house. At 3am.
Skywalker2416
LOL. Howd that turn out?
thegrimtrigger
My therapist had a daughter my age that I was friends with. My therapist made sure I was OK and then went to bed, said to stay 1/2
thegrimtrigger
Since she didn't want me driving. I ended up making out with her daughter for a while and then feel asleep. Great night overall!
thegrimtrigger
Forgot to mention I was 15 at the time
Skywalker2416
Sounds about perfect in all honesty lol
snakeoilsalesman
I find weed is worse. LSD you can just chew some Vitamin C to get back to the physical realm... If you can find them... Or your feet.
ibrokemyselflmao
That always amplified it for me. Hell, 20hits of liquid I was testing out, took 4hours to kick in, I lost track of 3days, locked in my loft
Skywalker2416
Acid is more gradual. Weed is 1 to 100 instantly. Acid gets there comfortably
pagenpanda
Took one hit. Nothing. Second hit. Nothing. 30 minutes after taking the third and fourth I feel a switch in my brain. "uh-oh" 1/
ArdentSlacker
... Why do people DO this? I can get going with hit #2. After that, fuck, wait 24 hrs. Either it's slow, oregano, or you're immune and 1+
ArdentSlacker
2/2 wasting expensive drugs.
pagenpanda
Proceed to start laughing hysterically at the trees for being "fucking dumb" and get lost in a dorm room on the college campus. 2/
pagenpanda
End up in food court as it all hits HARD. Back up to a wall where I am two feet away from the massive TV with the NBA playoffs3/
pagenpanda
With a whole dorm eating dinner while watching. The wall and ceilings go fuckey and a guy gives me an ice cream sandwich and winks. 4/
pagenpanda
Run out with the ice cream sandwich securely held in my pants pocket and start crying at the beauty of the sunset. GF picks me up 5/
thefrompleman
fuckey like it feels like they're switching w each other/becoming intertwined?
hihellogoodbye
Mushrooms for me.
PiGiSpi
I took molly for the first time and it just sent me into a horrific dark spiral about how i'm gonna fail school cuz i got a single practice
PiGiSpi
question wrong
circlebreaker
*hugs pile of blankets that looks like vaguely like dog* "Just you and me, boy. I know you can get me through this..."
crh19425
Mmmmmmmmm
mentallychallengeaccepted
Samesies! Thought i was dying. I became my bed.
popemorganCDXX
Ahhh Acid at Earth Day Fest in Santa Barbara... amazing
CtTraceur
Electric forest. Watching midnight friendship electric bingo was awesome. I saw someone being painted with mustard. That's a real sentence.
Blueb3
Reminds me of my first time with edibles, wife made butter, and I used it to butter my toast. High for a solid 6 hours. It was glorious!
eyebelieveanything
Lmfao... dude, weed butter tastes like SHIT, you didn’t notice???
Blueb3
Noticed, didn't care lol
ieru00
Don't think he mentioned doing it accidentally
MrBojangles85
Yeah I don’t usually just test regular butter either
DustBunny99
Haha this one time we just couldn't smoke any more hash so we crumbled up the remainder into the spaghetti sauce we were making...
DustBunny99
Really not sure how much it was cos the next about 10 hours were pretty hazy
jimwormmaster
Were you at the Brady house? Oh wait, that was shrooms.
Secsletariat
I ate one brownie. No effects for an hour, then slept from 3pm to midnight. Missed most of that party.
TheCrazySucculentLady
Cookies. And I was fixated on the spinny chair we had... regular office chair. And how soft my cat was. Yeah. I ate too much
Squagglenater
When I was younger and more stupid I took a 1000mg edible on a camping trip. All I remember is vividly hallucinating then passing out.
SpitefulRed
Passing out is your lower brain stem saving you from yourself
tenaciousjeebs
That might be the only positive story I’ve ever heard about a first time with edibles. Tell me your secrets!
IllBeDamnedifIGotoHell
Lol yup my first time WAS edibles and I laid on the concrete floor for 3 hours
BasicallyBarry
First time for me was amazing. Almost hallucinogenic more than anything. Felt amazing, everything was amplified x10. Music, food, touch, etc
kevinallover
Last time I made butter I tested it at 10pm. It didn't kick in till the next day and I had work (and a few meetings)
zwometer
Story time!
ThatTwerkingWhoreFromOliveGarden
Thats a very long fuse
SpitefulRed
It can be a bit of a crapshoot
zwometer
Twss
kevinallover
Guessing since your metabolism slows down at night it didn't kick in till the morning.
whackiscrack
Maybe they went to sleep before it kicked in and they woke up while it was still going