THESHOUTINGTURTLE
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Missionary Position
Fyi these are the actual names of these positions and they're funny unchanged. Come up with some puns in the comments.
Congress of the crow
Pounding the spot
Fitter In
Supported Congress
Drawing the Bow
Phenix Redcave
Fitting the Sock
Bicycle Position
Don't forget to wear a helmet!
Congress of the Elephant
Yawing Position
Pressing Twining
Second Posture
6th posture
Mare and Swing
Hanging Bow
All credit to photographer Neil DaCosta
RainbowsRainbowsEverywhere
My boyfriend and I discovered Mare and Swing from this, and we can now say we learned our new favorite position from the Mormons.
SKELETONMAAAN
And they are so dedicated. Look at those faces. They love it.
MFMars
I will never be able to go to Best Buy and look at the Geek Squad without seeing this.
iLoveSkiing
+1 For giving credit to the photographer
underageotters
Am I the only one kinda turned on here? Also bravo to the tall guy for the sexy o face.
SeraRelm
#5 Bitch that's
sazers
There are gonna be some pretty upset Mormons after this, but I aint one of em!
ilovesoup
Neil DaCosta is awesome. His Astronaut Suicide series is interesting as well: http://neildacosta.com/astronaut-suicides#
Beestonian
I didn't want to witness this
HowMuchWoodCouldAWoodDuckDuckIfAWoodDuckCouldDuckWood
Subtle!
TachyonCode
You couldn't avert your gays.
MyDogJake
Post of the Year
MargaritaPancakes
These are hilarious! But you're making it an adventure for me to browse imgur at work!! >_<
Chrichelle
CommanderWilliamTRiker
Got some stuff to try out on OPs mom this weekend!
helladopex
as a woman, this was slightly arousing to me. LOL
50Bomb
This is brilliant. The completely straight faces just make it too!
becouse
Well sometimes they do look pretty ecstatic.
wherearetheavos
Deadpan.
wallyparadise
Well, not completely straight.
50Bomb
haw hawwwwww
eetsumkaus
their faces are the only thing straight about this
50Bomb
heyoooooo
pentameter
Elder Inter and Elder Course
boobisboobbackwards
http://img.pandawhale.com/51394-George-Takei-oh-my-gif-ltT3.gif
underageotters
I love how I automatically hear that in his voice.
Baoaimin
This really should be top comment
idrinkcheapbeer
I'm about to show this to my Mormon co-worker. I'll let you know how it goes.
scarlovski
Yoi should post the results
idrinkcheapbeer
He called me a heathen and then he snickered.
TachyonCode
You should buy him some coffee for having a good sense of humor.
tinman04
So....how'd it go?
WatDaFuff
As a former Mormon missionary I can say this would've made the experience much more enjoyable.
TachyonCode
I think I'm having sympathy pains for you, and I'm as straight as I am a deviant.
JaBronLames
http://i.giphy.com/1QWa84gFdC7yE.gif
human8060
Clicked on this right as Bulls on Parade started playing. Fucking perfect.
BashfulBritishBloke
TIL my favourite position is called congress of the elephant. Will stick with still calling it lazy doggy though....
kittymack
I have to admit its an absolutely great position! I still remember the first time I did it. Mind blowing
TachyonCode
I think I have different favorites for porn than for irl... sex is weird like that.
beckadoomsday
Hubs and I call that a back rub lmao
Crunchybacon
The yawing position or phenix redcave really let you get in deep.
DamnedAustin
As an ex-Mormon (or ExMor, as nobody has or ever will call us) I love this.+1
nurotoxin
All the Mormons on imgur are going to love this
agluuo
Can testify.
TachyonCode
All the several hundred or so Mormons on imgur are going to love this.
choreboy
As a Mormon, I did lol.
showmeyourdicks
dreadnecrolancer
I can't stop laughing. Fucking fantastic, can't wait to see the puns.
Cholf
Don't you mean you can't wait to see the nuns?
xenathewarriorprincesswashot
No puns, just a couple of amateur nuns, showing how religion is properly done, between 2 boys nothing is wrong, didnt mean 2 rhyme sorry mon
AchilleduNil
Cumming to a pornsite near you!
Annarosebyanyothername
As a mormon...I feel bad laughing at these.
choreboy
As a Mormon. I didn't feel too bad.
6ft1DickC
Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about the good book, Kama Sutra?
Seven7greens
Why yes, yes I do. *cue porno music*
AeroEngineer
Bow chika bow wow chika chika bow
6ft1DickC
*Awkwardly tries to remove tie * No, keep the tie on...
SKELETONMAAAN
HAHAHAHA what the fuck? This is fucking gold. I'm also slighty aroused. But mostly amused. Arused.
ThatsGrossAndILoveIt
This is a wonderful new word...and I am totally arused
lordambroglio
Careful there Nixon
thatfrancischick
only slightly?
xenathewarriorprincesswashot
No, this is fucking missionary, didnt you read the title?
HalvusMcNavus
unbelievablejustletmein
...old
Adiktedgottaregisternow
I, too, am arused. I still like when a guy makes that face when we have sex.
TachyonCode
*shudders, but applauds your commitment to the emote fetish*
TacofinoTuesday
The bicycle is my go to position
Chouilste
Safe sex too!
THESHOUTINGTURTLE
Make sure to wear a helmet!
blonx
He sure should
shartsicle
A purple helmet, if possible
THESHOUTINGTURTLE
http://40.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7f87cc9Dq1raqenbo1_1280.jpg
xenathewarriorprincesswashot
I always use protection
JayKaySC
beat me to it
xenathewarriorprincesswashot
everyone says I'm a fast pistol *sobs*
ItBePatYo
Totally off topic, but your username is the truth!
Candymostdandy
Next time the Missionaries come to my door I will DEFINITELY invite them in.
Candymostdandy
Because I like to fuck.
lawfulwood
Hi.
anunexpectedfriend
Dat username +1
tarataqa
oh, you. http://i45.tinypic.com/3169ik8.gif
Candymostdandy
That is disturbingly arousing.
rasmis
I have done this. They haven't visited since. But one was hot, the other was decent and I've a rainbow doormat, so they were warned.
Candymostdandy
They do tend to be sexy young men, but usually they don't put out.
rasmis
I think it depends on location. In cities they're more likely to be young and male. Countryside not so much.
Seven7greens
Do they put out in the country side?
rasmis
Don't know. Have only met fat middle-aged women, so I haven't tried.