thisnameisclever
58666
2527
58
Dec 21, 2015 5:37 PM
thisnameisclever
58666
2527
58
shadowstich
A bed. Cozy, safe and warm, always there when I need him and great at making me feel relaxed.
olba
Who also deals with our shit? sewage works operator
Cynistera
Can confirm- am candle.
IUpvoteYourCatPics
A smoke detector. He makes me feel secure and happy most of the time, but occasionally, he starts yelling for no reason.
lookingOknaked
I wanna be someone's shower...
Motherclucker
He's a Bed comfortable, warm, reliable I look forward to him at the end of the day and can have good times on top of him
Rockledge82
The month old corpse in the basement: Mostly just lays around, occasionally shambles into another room, nice to snuggle with on a cold day.
WhyAmINotASaiyan
That first one. Fuck me, that was really sad.
UpVoteAllDogs
Blanket. He makes me feel safe and warm. I want to take him everywhere but know it's not appropriate.
LacieThiede75
I think I'm on the other end of that one. :/
SubtleNonExistence
A plunger. She's always bringing up old shit
FormerAOLerIDidntSendYouThoseCDsInThe90s
I must be using plungers incorrectly....
SpecMusic
I need more
buthowdoyoueven
No, her name is Susan and she's lazy.
Bellezebobble
I hope one day I'll be compared to a cast iron skillet...
DerpyPuppy
Aww, this one is cute!
SharpenedPoopStick
A blanket. She's always covering my ass and keeps me warm.
Androidas
Comcast is great. Well, not their service, but the post about Comcast is great.
FlyingColumn
An almost empty ketchup bottle. 'Cause I like banging her on the kitchen table.
KingRichardofChutney
Nice
IdontshaveforSherlock
And have her make fart noises?
TherearesomewhocallmeTim
A last-gen console. Shit loads of investment, thought she was future proof, now she can't handle recent developments and I'm starting again
TherearesomewhocallmeTim
From scratch as if nothing happened.
awildcharmander
That first one punched me in the heart so hard I don't even want to read the rest of them
samwisethebabe
A backpack. He's always got my back and has everything I'll ever need.
v3rmilion
A hand. My hand. It's my hand. I'm lonely.
Preincarnage
Sigh... *unzips*
KittyTrousers
A good pair of socks - cozy, goes everywhere with you, dependable. Until they decide to suddenly vanish, leaving you cold, confused and hurt
greentights
but one disappears at a time, and someone else is wearing that sock while you're looking for it. socks not in pairs stay alone
thisnameisclever
Ouch. My heart.
happyballon
A flower. If I don't give it love and attention she'll die. And I love her ever so much
Gamemeister83
I love how these are all over the place.
goldensky
A computer. Brilliantly analytical, very helpful, insanely good at math...and sometimes fails catastrophically in every way at once.
EnergyFiend
Oh man, too close to home...
OscarWilde1854
#1 - and now he puts his mouth on her slot once a day to keep her working.
Amythyst
Wow, yours only needed a blow once a day?
OscarWilde1854
Haha true :p guess it was more like once every 5 minutes
StHavock
A condom, use once than throw away.
ImHugeInJapan
*then
iOnlyFavouriteHotGirls
Thank you.
SomeLameStuff
CuntyLinguist
Love this gif lol
SomeLameStuff
hodorho
You throw away your condoms afters just one use? I use em 5, sometimes 10 times before it breaks and I need a new one
Beepity
This is a poor decision, unless you're just jerkin' it into them.
ButtStuffBUTTSTUFFFFF
yea man, get your money's worth
chickenmilanga
If you have a partner, appreciate them every single day. I took her for granted and her love for me died.
Ashplesauce540
I'm sorry to hear that. Take your lessons and go be the best for the next one.
zipperrulez
I didnt take her for granted and her love for me also died. Yolo rite
[deleted]
[deleted]
SoraPonyBoyVersetti
Rebecca?
[deleted]
[deleted]
PintAndTwoEsPleaseKaren
Happened to me. Lucky for her though my best friend didn't. Yeah, fuck you Sam.
NateintheNorth
She is. I'M SO SORRY IT WAS RIGHT THERE! I feel obligated to buy you a beer.
AmonaLisaSmile
Fuck, happening to me right now. Currently listening to Always by blink 182 and I feel like dying
chickenmilanga
I chose 'Too much love will kill you' by Queen because I'm a masochist.
myfragglerocks
Chin up. I think you're great. Go get 'em!