TheBigLetdown
94363
2026
86
Nov 21, 2018 1:32 AM
TheBigLetdown
94363
2026
86
AdolfMotheringfuckingHitlerwaitnothatstaken
You clearly have high standards and I got low standards, let’s bang okay.
MoxnesMonster6
6th grade classmate was whistling with grass. I Mocked him saying it was a mating call. We've been together since high school.
IdleNarrator
Guess it worked
pppppppppppppppppp23
Are you death?
Nearlyburly
"Is that guy over there bothering you?". point across the room. "No? Mind if I do?"
WarriorFox
Don't have a pick up line. But he bailed on our date due to small bought of depression. Bought Chinese and took it to him. Been together >>
WarriorFox
Almost 6 months now.
UnhelpfulAnswers
I usually get "I have a boyfriend" which I think is really overused.
Sometimesitapemydicktomythighs
Wanna come over to Myspace and Twitter on my Yahoo until I Google on your Facebook?
theheebs25
you're pretty, and I like your boobies. works every time
smokedsamon
Tried out “What do you say we hold a protest in bed and I occupy your vagina?” To my girlfriend…she’s my wife now.
sinbinrugger
How do you like your eggs in the morning? Fried or fertilized?
OrangeJesus
You’re like a cigarette.....I wanna get you lit and put ya butt in my mouth
Davies46
I said hey how are you, and she told me to fuck off ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
BuckStar2000
Would you like an Australian kiss? It’s like a French kiss but down under.
DaisyfromDownunder
Lay down, I think I love you. Worked every time.
Magyarharcos
That last one isn't half bad, tho, at that age, it was early for that, wayy too early
GreaseMonkeyOfLove
My answer to #1 would probably be “Great! Who is she?”
Riibu
What's a guy like me doing in a place like this? Can you buy me a drink?
Rivalyn
#2 I would start to wonder what was up after 50+ pickup lines.
Stefandesigns
Hey babe come over We are going to practice your fav sport tonight
venomlash
Geologists do it best. "Show me some cleavage, I'll let you test my hardness."
amnevoiedecafe
You look like a man that needs tax deductions !
iamdanman
I don’t believe a goddamn word
HandsomeJack19
My go to pick-up line, which has gotten me to 2nd base between 2 and 48 times: "Want to come back to my place and watch Tremors with me?"
HandsomeJack19
Tremors being the seminal classic Kevin Bacon (and Burt Ward (and Finn Carter)) monster movie.
iwasmydogsbestfriend
Hey wanna play pear harbour? Ill lay down and you can blow the hell out of me and down my semen.
Anesthetizing
Hey, just wondering what you'd like for breakfast in the morning.
FullMetalTaquito
Gestalt7
"Do you want me to call you or nudge you?"
houston515
one day i’ll find a woman who boldly says hey i’m your girlfriend now accept it, and i’ll just have to accept it
captjackvane
As a married man, I hope the same thing.
ihavethelowground
Seems like it would be an abusive relationship
shortwarrior
Legally binding.
CannonKnapp
Lwaxana Troi from TNG. Elmira from Looney Tunes. Saffron from Firefly. Have at, buddy.
Warblade
Lwaxana Troi Would be great... I mean... She is a little dead right now but at least she wont try to run away when you touch her.
ithinkitsthisone
bwahahahahahahahahaha
crackedatlas
Way to take control of your destiny.
batmow
Sort of happened to me in high school, girl I knew said "friends and I are hanging out at the mall Saturday if you want to join us." 1/3
batmow
Next day her friend came up to me and said "oh, you and her are dating now, huh?" And Saturday had turned into just the two of us. 2/3
batmow
Went with it, nice girl and cute, but ended it a couple months later when I realized I just didn't really have feelings for her.
AMegaMuffinEatingPoutine
Manipulative lil girl
DreamWeaver12
Had that happen one time. She then also took my gear for football and hid it so I would skip practice for time with her. She also stalked me
houston515
sucks, did she give it back??
DreamWeaver12
Yes, eventually but not until practice was over.
A1ekazam
It happened to me. I don't know how to leave. Send help.
casbott
Same, social media addict (doesn't know this identity), suicidal when thinks I want to leave. And wants a kid NOW ! Joke is I haven't had >
casbott
A relationship since before puberty and was just curious about what it would be like. On the plus I can withhold sex without struggle. >
casbott
And I've grown as a person, I used to idolize the idea of being a in a relationship. I now understand all the complaints of guys.
scotjam
I don't understand. If you're sure you don't want to be in this relationship, why not break up with them?
Bacxaber
Just ask her "are you single?" then follow up with "you are now!"
Josherman17
Happened to me. I left. Feels great. New girl. GET OUT
SimonTheGodOfHairdoos
Happened to me. We've been together for 12 years.
Mombeater
I thought that 3rd picture was a butthole for a second
schmonday
I used my musicianship to pick up women, also. I tried triple tonguing my GF once. She said it was the worst she's ever had. Personal best!
PianoMan2112
I tried double-tonguing once, but I made ti-kuh-ti-kuh-ti-kuh noises out loud.
JustSayingYouHaventSeenMeAndBatmanInTheSameRoomBefore
Anyway, here's Wonderwall.
CureForBoredom
MajorasFall
ASK ME ABOUT MY WEINER
chaoticnote
Well, it's not creative.
MetYourMomOnAshleyMadison
Makethejumptolightspeed
deadpoolislovedeadpoolislife
hickorysmokedhorsebutthole
MisterDictionary
Booblenose dolphin.
ImJustFuckingHere
I like boobs and I like dolphins. I think I like this too
SmartHasTheBrainsButStupidHasTheBalls
Blake242
What happens if I motorboat them?
MrSaturday
I see nothing wrong here.
TimberWilly
Tranced42
Delathi
ALegendaryHero
Natesbeat
You were so ready weren't you
ALegendaryHero
obsoleteattribute
I'm going to have sex with you tonight, but it'd be better if you were actually there.
[deleted]
[deleted]
GodsFoot
>:|
TheHawkRules
Did I miss it?
Mattwer3
;D
Cheomesh
>:|
JNied
It's been deleted. What'd I miss?
MicroK
[deleted]
TwoToneeRebel
>:)
trollprozac
"a+a"