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Raised my daughter as a single Dad since she was two, and is turning seven in a couple of weeks. Her mother decides to now become relevant and file for custody and totally inflict chaos to a stable life.
Edit: Sincerely appreciate the positive feedback. This situation has many complexities just like most legal battles. Had to Lawyer up today yet still feel like I'm going to lose something due to the system. I will never give up and trust in the foundation that we've built as a father and daughter. Send uplifting positive anythings.
Sobegod00
Keep Strong OP! Good luck with everything!
Obnoxor
Get a really good lawyer. It's expensive but worth it.
eco79
be strong, trust her love for you
KeeperofthekidS16
Stay strong and stand your ground. Don't be rash and remember that it's about your little minion. Fight smart, but dirty if needed...
shileka
prove to the judge person she's never cared before, also, source?
wannagohome
im a mom & idk why women do this!i know that your daughter will stay with you and maybe, slowly, she can dev'p some sort of relationship
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Astrangeimageeveryday
Women are treated unfair tho *steps on chair and makes sure noose is secure *
MeAndMyLeftFoot
Kramer vs. Kramer. I saw that movie.
babycarl96
Don't let her win. Don't stop fighting for you baby because as long as you don't stop trying, you can't win
babycarl96
lose*
Fredfinks
Speak & get as much advice from others who have been through similar situations. work & fight, get good counsel
TheHoboFederationLeader
Tell us how it goes!
mindolluin
Hold fast
WannaSeeMyPogCollection
Be strong, brother. You got this.
Squittles
Good luck OP. Try and get a lawyer that has experience with defending men in these situations.
Snotgrot
So glad that when my parents split up, they let us kids decide who went where, and they respected that choice. Best of luck man
Snotgrot
Wasn't that hard a choice really, my older sister is a bitch and she went with mum
Deoan
As a man who *won* custody of his child, document literally everything. Find every slip of paper you were ever given about your child 1/2
Deoan
Put everything in a binder, organized and ready. Get letters from everyone from teachers to doctors to friends. Be ready for anything. 2/2
SamuePieCreator
You got this Brother
Queezyyeah
Advice from a family law attorney: hire a lawyer that knows the judge. Nothing matters more than that in domestic litigation.
hechicera84
@op should read this comment!
Freefallingheather
Stay strong xx
ReckonedForce
Any update?
ncstarbuck
Has no judge seen Dear Zachary?
Kangawallafox
Please keep a diary of all contact and actions involving yourself, your child and the mother - it will be invaluable
somenerandom
Okay have family courts seriously not been addressed yet? Who the fuck thinks that system is fine? What are we waiting for?
explodingoctopus
Why was her mother out of the picture for 5 years?
WhitePhoenix
Fuck the family court system. Fuck any of you who think there's nothing wrong with it. THIS is what's wrong with it.
pokenar
But guys, it works most of the time, that means we can ignore the times it doesn't!
HeyGuysAmIRelevantYet
I have a friend in a similar situation. It's so hard not to 'kidnap' her kid and reunite them the next day in a different place
HeyGuysAmIRelevantYet
(In her case the male is abusive and has custody, in this case I'm totally in your court OP)
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TydenS
If she wants to be in her daughter's life that is reasonable. Stepping back in after 5 yrs and immediately suing for custody is another. 1/2
TydenS
It shows a clear disregard for the child's wellbeing and no desire to cooperate or work together towards stability. Should be thrown out.2/2
ieatham
Well then. Disregard my experiences
aslongasjonsnowknowshowtolickvagheknowseverything
Be strong OP. You have your relationship to make your case and I hope it's all you need.
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aslongasjonsnowknowshowtolickvagheknowseverything
You are the parent who shows up and gets shit done. It should matter
Last1augh
Your fucking username.
aslongasjonsnowknowshowtolickvagheknowseverything
Epic I know
vnqx
Is it really that hard to prove that someone who abandons their kid for half a decade is an unfit parent?
YourInfoIsCrapImgur
Yep my mom walked out on me at 13. I had to tell child services I didn't feel safe so I could be protected eventually by my Dad.
IHAVEGLITTERHANDS
There are other stipulations, but generally after so many years it is considered abandonment and the parent loses all rights to the child.
KeeperofthekidS16
Sadly, yes. Most courts, especially if the judge is old school, will side with mom. Even if she's been MIA, "she gave birth" and some 1/2
KeeperofthekidS16
Judges will look throw that in for good measure. Pure shit, but I've seen it. Seen all kinds of bs with unfit mothers getting their kids.
TheUsernameChecksIn
I unfortunately have to agree with WhitePhoenix on this. Men have an uphill battle every time regardless of the situation. Period.
Konguy
Well... the stereotypes of women being abused by men are stereotypes for a reason, they were the situation in the majority of cases and 1/2
Konguy
So aren't entirely founded without justification. But I do agree that some women are now manipulating this loophole for their own benefits
TheUsernameChecksIn
I know. If it didn't happen to me I'd have commented the same. I can account for a half dozen men that I know who are fighting this.
xedative
The key word is "were". As far as I know, it has skewed itself to basically be 50-50 when it comes to the gender of the abuser.
FussyZeus
Around here we've had women get custody after arson. Actual arson. Dads getting custody is near unheard of.
TheNoblePizzaDragonWhoLivesInYourFridge
I wonder how extreme the mom would have to be to lose, shoot one of the kids??
MagicBackPack
In CO neglect; leaving an infant and toddler unsupervised for more than 8 hours in order to go out drinking and even still got 50-50 1/?
MagicBackPack
My brothers ex also starved and abused the kids while he was over the road. Eventually she lost her custody after 8 years and only 3 2/3?
MagicBackPack
Attempts in that time to even give the kids a phone call. After all that courts still wouldnt revoke custody till she didnt wanna pay 3/4?
WhitePhoenix
When it's the husband vs. the wife, yes. The wife can claim abuse from 5 years ago and it'll have a bigger impact than the other way around.
wadatahmydamie
Well, when it's the wife vs the husband too, despite those stupid MRA memes.
alman1234
Which is pretty fucking stupid. Egalitarianism sounds good, these issues need work.
Awhaleandabowlofpetunias
You know I hear about this stuff, but I know a family where the dad was a fucking psycho but still got custody of his kids. The oldest (1)
Awhaleandabowlofpetunias
child tried to kill themselves and blatantly said it was because of their abusive dad, and the courts still upheld his custody. (2)
KeeperofthekidS16
True, but she'd have to have solid proof and a good record since she left, which I am doubting. Sucks for OP big time.
Bend3
Depends on where you are, and the judge. With acusations of abuse, it can be taken at word for custody, but not charges.
KeeperofthekidS16
Wyoming is like that I know for sure and PA is usually 50/50. Depends on the relationship dynamics and witnesses. The system is fucked.
LandonSlayz
You don't need proof when you have emotional sentient meat judging who is the most capable of caring for the kid.
KeeperofthekidS16
This is true.