Twitter dump 3

Apr 23, 2017 2:59 AM

1st one: https://imgur.com/gallery/p9Rfm
2nd one: https://imgur.com/gallery/ED7Ea

Finally got a chance to do another one!

Bite is effective because it's a dark attack. The takeaway is that if you want to get rid of ghosts send in the biggest jerk you can find.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Ratbird is insanely catchy

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I don't always send accidental dick pics...but when I do, it's to my boss. *sips wine*

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

These are golden!!!

9 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

These were all new to me and made my night so much better thank you

9 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

Damn snowflakes!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

This is a genuinely hilarious collection

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

I don't have a twitter but if I did yeah

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Ok, let's clarify something. Pigeons are Ratbirds, Bats are midget Wolfbirds. Correct nomenclature people!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

some of these are from this month and some of them are from 5 years ago....

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

#3 I guess he gave his love a bad name

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Lost it at "Ratbird." +1

9 years ago | Likes 36 Dislikes 0

It takes a special kind of person to get that post

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 3

I just cackled for a few minutes while my wife stared at me - apparently it wasn't so funny to her

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

What is that supposed to be in tune of?

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Blackbird by The Beatles

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

I don't get the BBQ one... someone explain?

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Dead zoo animals are now BBQ

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Found the vegan! ;)

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Most definitely not a vegan... just didn't follow the joke. I get it now, thank you :D

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

lol i didnt get it until i read your comment (and yes, vegan)

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

Not a lot of posts make me laugh quite like this

9 years ago | Likes 84 Dislikes 0

twitter: like stand-up comedy but for introverts

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Can you explain #15 to a friend of mine?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

There's a thing written about Jesus and a man, where the man is in heaven and Jesus and the man are looking at his life timeline, which 1/?

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Is represented by footprints in the sand. At one point, the man notices only one set of footprints. He thinks Jesus abandoned him during 2/?

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

That time in his life. Jesus responds that instead, the single track of footprints was because Jesus was carrying the man.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

#15 is fucking hilarious because it implies that the man tripped and fell and Jesus kept walking for a bit before noticing that the man 4/?

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0