BDGClowninAround
108334
2127
154
FP Edit: Pics of your pets please! Extra snaps for doggos.
Jan 22, 2018 12:44 AM
BDGClowninAround
108334
2127
154
FP Edit: Pics of your pets please! Extra snaps for doggos.
LordScrublord
I'm actually here due to a chemical imbalance caused by birth control
Dunes8
"It's...A New Car!"
CruzAguilar
A condom breaks 18% of the time. Unless you're a conservative the you don't care for facts.
Meloncov
No, eighteen percent of couples using condoms will get pregnant over the course of a year. Less with perfect use. Big difference.
schoenertaktak
you know that condoms can burst, right?
SadBoner
But what product could that sign be next to where that message is relevant? Plan B?
ShakeAndBake2865
Or you have a kid who’s mad who doesn’t know what condoms are so he puts a needle through every one. Needless to say we love our third child
TimeAndMemeLordOfGallifrey
It could happen if you fucked and older person...
aoenofhorus
I see your comments, guys. But you’re forgetting that jokes can’t be nearly as hilarious if you don’t drastically oversimplify everything!
Soylencer
Plasma TV? #JumanjiWhatYearIsIt.jpeg
Dayrest
Um... condoms are 96% effective. The pill is 98%. You can use both, and pull out, and it's still possible to get pregnant. Surprise!
peachesforme
Copper iud for the win! 99.2% effective. most effective form of birth control.
armeggedonCounselor
Never heard of condoms breaking, judgmental sign?
TheBlackWindHowls
Pregnancy can be a surprise. Having the baby shouldn't be a surprise unless you've got some fucked-up health issues hiding the pregnancy.
iamagrocerybag
I'm nearly full term and the idea of anybody not knowing that they are pregnant is just unfathomable to me.
red1067
What if you're the result of a broken condom, like me?
mitochondriaarethepowerhouseofthecell
Well, if you have fertility issues it could be...
deadandbloated
have you tried upgrading your mitochondria?
angrybook
Lady at work claims her pregnancy was the guys fault. Neither used protection and they both KNEW they weren't. Still "all his fault".
angrybook
Even when I try to explain that both parties are responsible at that point I just get an eye roll.
mcn5119
Depending on the porno, maybe.
Unverified
I think other contraceptives aren't pushed enough
frankie2thumbs
Odd use of quotes there.
Soylencer
First two check out.
mitochondriaarethepowerhouseofthecell
"A plasma TV" is just code for syphilis
irritabletom
My dad was 62 and my mom was 42 when I was born. I was a stupid accident.
deadandbloated
Hey, don't be so hard on yourself. You might not have book smarts, but I'm sure you're good at other things.
Ambeam
Don't worry. There's always abortion to fall back on. And I'm only half trolling
whatupmyknitters
let's make a pitstop at Plan B first, if possible
Ambeam
Agreed. I fancy a McDonald's anyway
whatupmyknitters
womp womp!
threecheersforsweetrevenge
My boyfriend and I use birth control and condoms. There is still a risk of me getting pregnant because even those two combined aren't 1/2
threecheersforsweetrevenge
100% And I know people who got pregnant using both 2/2
th1841
I am one of those people. You don’t know me, but it did happen to me.
threecheersforsweetrevenge
I'm honestly so afraid of that happening to me. I couldn't even imagine how that feels. I'm hoping it all worked out for you guys?
th1841
Obviously it was a shock and took some getting used to, but he’s very much loved and wanted. He was #3 for us, but the first unplanned.
iamagrocerybag
This is literally how I came to be in the world.
th1841
The feeling realizing that you have much less control over your life than thought was terrifying. We were trying to prevent but couldn’t.
th1841
Having already had kids we were in a stage of life that we were equipped to handle a surprise pregnancy thankfully, but it was still hard.
HikariShade
NO birth control is 100%, including condoms. The only way to not have an 'accident' is not to have sex.
ArugulaZ
Thanks, Mom.
Telharmonius
Sex is more than creating a baby. It is a connection with your spouse or mate, and it engenders closeness and emotional ties. No fun w/o it.
Qube8
Casual sex is fun also.
IAmTheWrongJedi
Put it in your mouth instead of your vagina
HungarianOxPenisInABlender
You're right... I'm doing good so far
SerenePrincess013
No, but my IUD has done perfectly for the last couple years, so I'd call that a 100% win for me.
puurgenieten
LIES look at the bible!
Suravik
Oh please, that was one time
Downvote4Love
Non-vaginal sex, that is
ilovecake
There’s a small percentage of pregnancy happening from hetero anal sex. Sperm can trickle down into vagina, or sometimes women can have a 1/
ilovecake
Tear/hole in the “walls” that separate anal and vaginal canals. Even with anal should still use a condom.
Garbinator
If I had a rectovaginal fistula I doubt I'd be wanting to have anal sex tbh
ilovecake
Some people might not know they have it until it’s too late
AnnoyedMillenial
Or an abortion works too
ShaneEngland
no see thats just correcting the mistake
kohrah
I would argue the mistake already happened at that point.
Meloncov
Whether or not the mistake has happened, the birth is definitely prevented.
WhereIsOscarGoldman
Ha 'mistake', did my mom tell you my secret nickname?
ThatOneFriendWhoTriesTooHard
Sometimes abortions fail, too.
YourLocalSnitch
Well damn. What’s goin on with the baby? Did the mother eat straight protein for 2 months? Should I be scared of what comes out?
Zegot
oh my god
Jusmar
Swol kiddo
RichardManeuver
I had a friend as a teenager that said "God knows we couldn't handle a baby right now so he won't let her get pregnant". So stupid.
Junktrunkjunkie
Relative: "I have a low sperm count i didn't think she'd get pregnant" Me: "Well it just takes one!"
Iamthemonkeymansowhatevercats
I knew a couple that their "birth control" consisted of basically plan B. After a while it didn't work and surprise! A baby!
japamerika
That is terrible for your body to take plan B all the time...
iamagrocerybag
I assume Plan B is the morning after pill? Terrible for the social stigma too.
Iamthemonkeymansowhatevercats
Let's just say I would have been surprised if those two combined for a triple digit IQ score.
iamthisguy247
Good thing God appreciates that mentality, and that's why we never see girls at Catholic high schools getting knocked up /s
ISaidSarcastically
Catholic girls love anal
japamerika
How many babies does she have?
RichardManeuver
The lovely couple ended up having two children, getting married and eventually divorced.
blitz0
Typical shit life where you end old without doing shit other than having kids
westo48
Poor kids
Kukadin
https://i.imgflip.com/1grvjo.jpg
tardisRetardis
So much for God contraception
corbynDallas
If god went ahead and literally knocked up Mary while she was married to another dude, perhaps don't rely too much on him.
lncorrectGrammerNazi
If God wanted to prevent stupid people from reproducing, the world would be a much better place.
Marikhen
Yeah, but if God wanted to prevent stupid people from reproducing then would God even exist since he'd lose most to all of his followers?
Quesadildos
In my case having a baby would actually be a genuine surprise. Y'know, because I'm gay.
Pastaislove
Films have taught me that even gay men can get pregnant... all it takes is an alien probing.
JossWhedonsGhost
This deserves top comment.
DigitalWaffle
Happened even with birth control + condom... :(
Pastaislove
Thank goodness it happened, the world would be a sad place without toasty croissants.
andtwozigzags
That’s how I got here. Parents thought it would be funny to tell me that when i turned 18
th1841
Same! Husband has since had a vasectomy and I’m praying it holds out.
silentwolf1999
I was hoping for a 80 inch 4k oled but whatever.
hypnotictommy
It is when you're sterile.
NordicJew
I'd like to know what is in those packages with that sign next to it.
DoctorCheeze
bugging me too
down2stars
If you're on birth control then yes, a baby is a "surprise".
BigbuckTXCO
Bullshit
iamagrocerybag
Not really. Birth control like the pill can be affected by several factors that reduce their chances of success.
pinkcultleader
Not really I’ve known 2women who got pregnant on an IUD and 1 while taking the shot. It happens.
Jusmar
99.99%
Anfalicious
That’s still 1 baby for every 10000 bonks. Spread over a population it’s common.
JGthiccworth877THICCNOW
I even took it at the same time every day with an alarm!
down2stars
My 1st, I was part of a birth control study (side effects not effectiveness) & having to go to clinic & get my pill same time every day.
MundaneFinality
I mean pills arent meant to be the sole form of controceptive. 99% effective is not 100%.
LoudBirb
There is no form of contraception that is 100% effective. Manufacturing defects in condoms mean that they're only 98% effective, too.
PascalCasedUserName
Fun fact: antibiotics can interfere with the pill. Ask me how I know...
DrSC
That was found to be untrue a few years ago. There are loads of things that do that aren't common knowledge though, like taking it in the
DrSC
morning after a night of heavy drinking.
PascalCasedUserName
All I know is that my wife and I were happily childless until she had a sinus infection. The hospital gave her antibiotics and... conception
Wales4
Goldbloom meme from Jurassic Park saying "life finds a way"
VictimOfTheBeast
Apparently my mom was on both birth control and used condoms, and she still had 2 kids. Quite a surprise
tardisRetardis
Holly hell, those kids really wanted to be born.
1234canIhavealittlemore
"everybody lies" - G. House
LadyGlitterFlaps
Was she a Weasly?
down2stars
Both my kids were birth control babies.
CoffeeTrampTossBitch
I was a birth control baby. Apparently my mom didn't know that antibiotics can compromise the pill
CoffeeTrampTossBitch
I used to have a buddy that claimed all 3 of hers were conceived on the pill with a condom, AND he pulled out. Bullshit. Just admit you 1/
CoffeeTrampTossBitch
Were being careles..... 2/
Pastaislove
Why admit to something if it didn't happen? None of the methods mentioned are 100% foolproof. There are 6b people in the world. It happens.
[deleted]
[deleted]
CoffeeTrampTossBitch
I just don't believe it. 3 times, 2 different dads. Is it possible? Yes it is technically possible but it didn't happen. She is lying.
umbrellamaker
*7b+
Arconyte
The pill is something like 92% effective realistically.
Telharmonius
Ayup. Birth control does work if taken correctly. Condoms, not near as reliable.
iamagrocerybag
There are also other factors that can affect how birth control like the pill work and how effective it is.
Meloncov
Even if taken perfectly, pills have a ~1% failure rate.
peachesforme
thank goodness for the copper IUD with only a .8 failure rate. most effective if i recall
capnoreo
Broken condoms can cause a surprise and is a mistake
MarshawnLynch
Everyone should know that condoms are not 100% effective. Therefore anyone having sex with a condom should know that there is a chance
tardisRetardis
Dont know why are you getting downvoted, my brother has a kid and they used condoms.
Iamthemonkeymansowhatevercats
IUD and a trusting monogamous relationship FTW.
JohannVonTittySprinkles
Far from fool-proof. My sister got pregnant with an IUD implanted. Plus those things aren't really that safe and can picture the uterus.
iamagrocerybag
No birth control is safe. I was happy with my IUD because it did not result in crippling depression like the pill, mini pill and implant.
JohannVonTittySprinkles
As a dude I cannot relate directly, but have grappled with depression and I'm thankful that you didn't have to endure that
MKUltraMega
*are
MrHobbes14
My problem with that mentality is we all know full well that none of them are 100%. So of you have sex you have to face the fact you 1/
MrHobbes14
Might just make a baby. The only 100% way to not make a baby is to not have sex.
shayshayni
That's not even 100%. Heavy petting with - *ahem* - release, she could still get pregnant even then. Ha!
Dontdearabbyme
Unless you're Christian. There's it's only 99.9...% effective bc the Virgin Mary didn't have sex, and she still got pregnant.
Pastaislove
You're not wrong, but I order McDonalds french fries knowing its not impossible for there to be a spider in them, but its still a surprise.
Fleaofpain
Speaking of surprising...
Fleaofpain
1414145691
this is a lie - if it breaks you can feel it, you can see it and you can go get emergency contraceptive (plan B)
1414145691
condoms don't just break a little like a pin prick hole, they stretch and then they break catastrophically
HikariShade
1) I've had them break/slip off and neither of us felt anything OR they can get 'stuck' inside and leak. 3) some dont have access to plan b.
Dontdearabbyme
I've had one get stuck inside and that situation is fucking terrifying. Like I didn't sign up to be a magician's assistant
1414145691
and either you have a small penis (and wear the wrong size) or you weren't taught how to use them correctly
1414145691
bullshit on all 3 counts
LoudBirb
It's Well documented that, due to manufacturing defects, condoms are about 98% effective. Even when used correctly. Look it up.
[deleted]
[deleted]
HikariShade
Ive had non-expired, new condoms fail. And NO birth control is 100% The only way to not have an 'accident' is not to have sex.
[deleted]
[deleted]
HikariShade
No, I've only had about 3 condoms break in the 25yrs I have had sex, but it happens. WHO says condoms fail about 18% of the time.
whatupmyknitters
is that 18% of the time period? or 18% with proper usage?
LeumisRichardson
Well, there was allegedly this one time a really really long while back that really got people talking about it, but I have my doubts.
Fleaofpain
LeumisRichardson
So they say.
JohannVonTittySprinkles
LeumisRichardson
Nailed it.
whatupmyknitters
like ~2000 years ago, right?
LeumisRichardson
Something like that.