emmaxleigh
125346
2030
101
The administrator pulled me into their office before school yesterday. Said that when there was a substitute in my classroom, a student that struggles with me (very defiant child with multiple meltdowns every day. Comes to me with no support) had no issues. I tried to explain that what I leave with a substitute isn't what I do daily with the students -- however I try to get it to align with the curriculum as closely as possible.
The student did not have to do what we usually do (sing and use xylophone - I managed to get a sub that did run dances!). The student is VERY defiant and will try to "pick and choose" from my agenda what we will do during music class and will meltdown if I don't do it "their way". The child has threatened to hurt me - and my administrator told me I shouldn't be worried at all about this...(?!?!)
I'm following both the behavior plan and the IEP of the child (diagnosed Autism Spectrum). I'm in contact with parents (who claim their child is COMPLETELY NORMAL) but the child just seems to be more determined to be defiant with every email and phone call - and continually escalating threats against me. I'm documenting about safety concerns for other students and myself.
But, I'm still trying with the child. I use positive praise when the child is participating appropriately and ignore inappropriate behavior. I greet them in the hallway and ask about things that interest the student (video games, computers, art, etc). I'm using my coworkers to come up with ways to re-engage the child.
I've talked to the classroom teacher and she sees the same behaviors - and the same administrator has said her teaching of the child is also the main issue as to why the child isn't successful. The child WAS recommended to be transferred into a sub separate special education room but that was over a month ago and nothing has happened - because the same administrator insists the child is "totally fine". I called the admin down during class and the admin let the child scream on the floor for 30 minutes - and continually agitated the child.
I'm feeling really burned out over one kid. The child is clearly struggling but is everyone so content to just place blame elsewhere instead of doing something to help?
I've gone to the teachers union over this and the union president - they're trying to get their ducks in a row to build a case against the administrator... But it's just not right.
....
TLDR: When your boss blames you for a kid with ASD threatening to hurt you and other students... So you go to the union and they say they're trying their best to help but it isn't going anywhere fast.
WaltherWater
sounds fishy that the parents say he's fine and the admin is blaming everyone else. Parents probably got to your admin at some point.
gyxsa
Have you been provided with any training in working with children with autism? That might be the best place to start.
nick11570
if this kid is actually special needs and stuck in regular classes because his parents are in denial..
jfred325350
This is one reason some people get to the point that they commit mass murder, obvious problems are overlooked repeatedly.They never get help
drowningfishy
I want to say, keep trying, there are some trouble some kids that grow up to be normal-ish adults once they get properly diagnosed.
DarkGnosis
The kid is not the problem. The administrator is.
Andalite
Hope you got a few recordings of the conversations of your boss insisting that a screaming, threatening student is perfectly fine
KSpyze
Document document document. Also meet in person with the behavior analyst. They are required to teach their behavior protocols. Shows that
GriffinMann41
We had an autistic kid in our AP Bioscience class who would LITERALLY assault the PA every class. He'd get kicked out but nothing was done.
MuckDuck1
My mom's a teacher and she deals with problem children quite often, the parents never think anything is wrong with their child.
GlassTurtle
I knew a mildly autistic kid with similar issues, stabbed a teacher with scissors. Be careful.
xbows
If the student has an IEP, surely the parents know he's different. They have to sign a form. My wife and I did for our kid, who is gifted.
emmaxleigh
Yes. I think they had a hard time accepting it... So it's an ongoing conversation. And I just hope that they can come around a bit and...
emmaxleigh
Maybe come in to see their child's performance and understand that I'm trying to advocate for what is best for the child and other students.
emmaxleigh
Cause the kid is SUPER SMART when the child applies themself.... But not so much when the child is emotionally struggling.
Drywhitetoast
And all the other children in your class suffer cause of the one. We had this in my kids school he was a violent brat. 1
Drywhitetoast
2 had to threaten them with a lawsuit after he blasted my kid out of a chair on to her face and she ended up in the hospital.
Drywhitetoast
3 Try to get the other parents involved if you can. The administrators will bend to the parents.
DrKriegersClone
Not necessarily. Some see it as a rights issue for the ASD kids. Ontario policy is that they have a right to be in a normal environment 1/
DrKriegersClone
2/ if the parents want them there, even if they're violent to other students.
Hufflemol
^^true but they should be required to have a personal aid for the ASD kid if he’s violent! He can be in class he just needs more support!
WaltherWater
Why is Canada so fucked on social policies
Dulliest
I've never understood being a teacher. It's a job for masochist. But regardless thanks tho, I learned life changing things from my teachs
emmaxleigh
Yo, if I didn't hate myself already, it would be impossible to do this job. I really like the actual teaching part - not th politics of it.
HistoricalContext
Pretty sure parents have to contribute to an IEP. What kind of parents get an IEP and then claim their child is "normal?"
emmaxleigh
It's in the discipline (at home) and that they don't want the special education services. The child has video games taken away and then...
emmaxleigh
Comes to school and says "you took my games away and I hate you" and will hold a grudge. When I just want the kid to participate for 5 min..
emmaxleigh
Out of the 40 that the child is in my room.
BDF1838
The parents already have an arrangement with the administrator or someone higher up. Going to the union was the right thing to do.
MonopolyMadness
emmaxleigh
What a cute lion. Thank you! Actually made me feel a little better!
MonopolyMadness
Im glad it did :)
Truthswillsetyoufree
You are doing everything right. Unfortunately, many people prefer to pass off a problem. Don't forget--you are helping this child immensely.
tentaclefriendly
Taking care of Donald Trump sounds exhausting
emmaxleigh
LOL
Gilgamech
Stay strong. It's a battle of wills, pure and simple.
emmaxleigh
Yeah. I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing because I know that's what is right for the situation. No matter what a shit admin says.
monumentofyoursins
Just as you said, nothing goes wrong with documenting everything. Keep up to date with your union as well since they seem to be they (1)
monumentofyoursins
Seem to be the only ones on your side. Has the child been tested and legally documented having that condition? (2)
emmaxleigh
It shows me all the testing scores of the child on certain exams and that there's a significant issue with emotional regulation
ehnayehn
If you're aware of the issue with emotional regulation it begs the question of why you continue to badger this kid & subject him to overstim
ehnayehn
I can't speak for all people with ASD but how I would have seen that as a kid was how I just described it. Not only would I have hated your
ehnayehn
class, I would have resented you, and I would have resented you interacting with me outside of your class. Screaming and threats are an
HerrFalle
Ok, so you're on the safe side there. Thank you for doing your best.
emmaxleigh
There's a medical diagnosis listed on the IEP through a licensed doctor. It tells me which medical practice and all the info as to why...
monumentofyoursins
Seriously especially with the threats
monumentofyoursins
I just asked because if it's listed and known then it's the administrators fault as well as the parents' for not taking the child's behavior
GoOnJustRollWithIt
As a professional in this field, make sure you're actively following the BIP and not differing based off of personal views. If the BIP 1/
ehnayehn
This whole thread. I can't count the number of parents I've known who relayed how teachers said "my kid needs medication" regardless of IEP.
ehnayehn
It's outside a teacher's scope and however frustrating it may be to deal with neuroatypical kids, you aren't a psychologist or MD and your
ehnayehn
experience is anecdotal. If your goal is to help these kids succeed, stick to the plan. Inclusion is an important part of that plan.
ITalkAboutGoats
And screws every other kid in the class out of an education.
ehnayehn
That's a matter of policy and there are actually ways to let that run its course that don't involve the teacher's attention at all.
GoOnJustRollWithIt
Requires attention extinction to tantrums, then there shouldn't be any other way to handle his maladaptive behavior. I mention it because 2/
GoOnJustRollWithIt
You seem to have a negative feeling as to how his behaviors are being agitated, but that may have been the prescribed intervention by 3/
GoOnJustRollWithIt
The professional in charge of the IEP. There are always concerns about the treatment being effective,l 4/
GoOnJustRollWithIt
But with all due respect, it is not for you to pass judgment on how the BIP is executed, especially if it's outside of your capacity 5/
ITalkAboutGoats
But at what point can you think of other kids in the class? Screaming for 2 hours a day is really not conducive to educating anyone
goblinad1
Try to put blame on the administrator, "you are preventing the student from receiving a proper education" type deal. That should hopefully h
1414145691
Just keep sending the child out, they'll do something about it when they're causing havock somewhere they have to deal with it
1414145691
why you gonna ruin the education of the other kids because one kids parents are in denial that they need to go to a special school
tacoparlor
Nope, as a teacher who's had the kind of admin you have, they'll blame you for having no control in your classroom. It's shit all around.
awildcharmander
@OP this is a good suggestion. Why not just send the kid to the principal's office for disrupting the class every single time he does it?
Hufflemol
Teacher here. Basically they’ll send him back. And then it will continue to reflect poorly on you and your management skills and (1/2)
Hufflemol
Probably get you written up. I taught elementary Music just like OP and there were some classes that basically didn’t get to use (2)
Hufflemol
Instruments because of one kid in the class who would constantly throw/break shit. But they legally have to have inclusion time :-/
awildcharmander
Haha wow that needs to change
heavypettingzoo
We are not allowed to do that... anything you can think of that makes sense or that would work is not allowed. - teacher
1414145691
I'd do it anyway, I'm not one for the rules
imgursmyfirstluv
TheLetterKay
I had teachers who got in trouble for repeatedly removing the same kid from class. They were told to get their students under control. Its
TheLetterKay
So unbelievably dumb. Some kids are not suited for class work.
WhataboutBobWiley
get a lawyer involved. They move pretty quick after that. Or atleast ask for lawyer to send a letter with their letterhead.
CochiseVeneficorum
I don't care how many reports are written on the subject, ignoring bad behavior is the worst course of action.
emmaxleigh
It's just hard for me to do much with 19 other kids in the room.
emmaxleigh
It is! I agree!
LibrarianCatLady
I AM A TEACHER! Take all your documentation and get a meeting with the superintendent. If possible, get other teachers to come as backup 1/?
LibrarianCatLady
If they are not doing their job of protecting you and the students, then something needs to happen. Stand up for yourself, no one else will.
LibrarianCatLady
And your union rep. Get as much PHYSICAL evidence (record class one day) and people to back you up. Admin is there to support you 2/?
Intheshadowofgiants
Are you in the UK? Because this sounds just like the UK education system currently. My dad was a teacher and had to put up with this shit.
override367
the US is in full blame the teachers mode, in Wisconsin we blamed the teachers for everything from the crime rate to the state budget
Intheshadowofgiants
Sad state of affairs because education is precisely the cure for those sorts of things.
emmaxleigh
Nah, US but this school is going down the drain. It was fine last year because the administrator supported me. Now, it's just a shit storm.
Snorelock
was hoping the crap school admin was just a Nevada thing.
LibrarianCatLady
Nah man. That's an "across the entire US" problem.
Maahes0
Does ypu school have inclusion specialists? My sister is one and she is constantly struggling to get the kids on a plan that works for them.
emmaxleigh
We have a building admin that is in charge of writing all the plans for kids like this but she keeps saying she's "working on a plan for him
emmaxleigh
" but there hasn't been any update except the same plan as last year. Which clearly isn't successful in my room.
ILikeCuteGifsAndICannotLie
She has no idea what to do and admin doesn’t want to pay for a special school placement based on my experiences with my own son.
Maahes0
Oh god this sounds horrible.
krugle
Show up drunk, that's what my teachers did
IlikeblueberrieswithcreamandpancakesSomechocolateaswell
@OP at work https://media.giphy.com/media/EabfRRS4mkrhS/giphy.gif
IlikeblueberrieswithcreamandpancakesSomechocolateaswell
You know what you gotta do https://media.giphy.com/media/11l39366q3bvmo/giphy.gif
christtalmighty
so you were taught by my dad?
dthninja2
Mine didn't always start the day drunk, but they definitely ended it that way.
willdbeast
Look on the bright side, at least they showed up!
Smagalicious
I had one teacher that was stoned half the time. One hell of a teacher. Learned a lot about giving speeches from him.
cancerriddenlung
One of my math teachers did do this. I’m not exaggerating.
BadWolfDancer
my math teacher came in hungover on mondays from watching football. we got to watch movies for math. good times.
cancerriddenlung
Mine drank vodka during class. Some days more than others.
BadWolfDancer
That insane lol. I had a high school of 300 though so I don't think my teacher could get away with that!
cancerriddenlung
There were 30+ students in each class.
2020Gamer
Homeschooled?
krugle
Self taught.
ticktockbent
Don't forget about the beatings. Man those were the days.
DrKriegersClone
I sometimes wonder if that wouldn't be more effective than letting them scream it out on the floor for 30 minutes.
drenix
Jumper cables?
emmaxleigh
I hate my current job (but love teaching). I'm thinking I'll have to leave at the end of the year.
DetectiveSloth
Hey if you actually enjoy working with special needs kids those teachers are in high demand.
baconandplagues
Just, put on a movie no one will notice you're drunk then.
krugle
Best to do that before you end up hating it. The province I live in is short like 300 or so teachers it's brutal.
TheSwedishMoose
BC represent!
McMush
Go International! Never looked back. I can actually teach now, not just do paperwork
Bugleisthebomb
Move schools, screw hanging around dealing with that shit
iyamgurting
You've got options, all kids need teachers my friend. Find a school that needs you.
rhombusrightangle
In all likleyhood you are the -one- that cares. The admins are placing you in this situation to correct that behavior in -you-
Alexxdactyle
Don't feel guilty for wanting to leave and please keep your love of teaching! We NEED people like you. Sometimes moving is for the best. You
Alexxdactyle
Can't help those who refuse help. Maybe elsewhere your skills will be better appreciated and you can touch other students hearts
emmaxleigh
I hope so. I try to do what I think is best for the students and idk.
Azerai
The way teachers are treated is one of the more depressing and distressing things. "I'm here to make your kid smat." "Fuck you."
DigitalKiwi
How about you make the kids smart instead ? Lol