MisterDutch
149682
1859
65
Oct 23, 2021 10:47 AM
MisterDutch
149682
1859
65
Nodak70
IJustReallyLikeFrogs
#1 Under the boulder size of large boulder.
TheobromineAddict
#2 becomes Zeno's paradox.
mustbethedragon
#7 One Crumbl cookie supposedly serves 6.5. Apparently I'm eating for 13.
CortexDagger
#10 ugh! Have my upvote.
Tenookey
#2 if you get scared half to death twice you're still 25% morr alive than I feel
confanity
Whole lotta "alcoholic and trying to admit it boomer" humor here.
jherazob
DigiT00l
#2 it keeps halfing
TheAziz
#12 last time I've heard of stormtroopers and Jawas the result was quite different
Madalchemist2018
Sad Utinni noises
JericoJones23
#7 they actually do. You usually get the nutritional value per 100 grams or something and then for the whole portion. I think.
WackyRaven
SmokyDoggg
#1
PeteVenkmann
Perfect
ColinBowyer
Anyone else notice the tiny pic in #6
Cedr3000
#10 gold card?
thespyisdead
#4 I have an alcohol problem... There is none currently in my cup
ThatsNoMoonThatsAGalaxy
Look, just because you re-brand your boomer humor as dad jokes, that doesn’t mean Imgur becomes Facebook.
FlyingButtPliers
So many cartoons I could hear #1
Th3Lionheart
#7 they do, its called math
iliahell201812
#2 CM Ñ
thisplaceisjustanothernewssitenow
Anyone else sick of dad jokes?
Nim449
Your mom is.
confanity
The problem here isn't the puns; it's the malice (e.g. #6) and the casual alcoholism.
MisterDutch
Even jokes about a serious problem make people aware and help start a conversation.
confanity
In some cases, yes, but normalizing bad stuff isn't consequence-free either. If you really want to "start a conversation," do it plainly.
Poolboy77
I take it that you dont find them punny?
bardman135
#3 has anyone seen my eyeclasses?
sarzaya
I think they’re in the vitreous chamber.
DavidPliskin008
Can I tear you away to ask you to put a lid on it?
bardman135
Eye’ll see what eye can do…
RamosIsANerd
#2 scared 1/2 to death twice? You are now 1/4 from death.
demosteness
What if maths scares me 1/0 to death?
a2s2020
"Is it death yet?" "About a quarter to"
PeterPanPeanutButterAlert
That first boss that only uses Demi
Elnauriel
Sounds like a death half-life! =)
shotinthehead
I had to stop reading and come to the comment section to be sure this was said.
th3guy
Also, you can grow your own bacon - it’s called raising a pig.
TooCuteToDie
If you raise bacon from death you get a pig, but if you raise a pig from dead, you get bacon? Where do I find these dead pigs to raise?
Zephyr86
No one touches Notorious P.I.G.
boobityboobityboobity
Wouldn't it be 3/4 to death?
GuyWithDog
That's the same. 3/4 to equals 1/4 from, no?
RamosIsANerd
Yep
ruint
this is going to take forever.
Frankiejoneston
Well, what about when people say like "I'll pay you half now, half later"? They don't mean 50% now and 25% later
Thelordofthethings
As long as you keep getting scared only half to death you’ll never die!
LadiesInboxMeYourInsecurities
The limit does not exist!
KissTheLuckyEgg
But you'll feel a bit like voldemort ?
theartofmath
Xeno would be proud
DrLOAC
Yes he is.
Zeno would be proud too.
theartofmath
Is that Gaylien? I'm so happy he's out and proud!
1019181716151413121
You've been mostly dead all day!
TheElusiveEnchilada
#9 the two deeper holes go up
pomdor
...on one side of my laptop, and they go down on the other side.
origina1crisp
Look for the line the metal makes on the usb itself. That line faces down. Goes in first time every time.
wasitforthismylifeisought
D4rkLigh7
But what if the slot is side ways?
weetabixwithcoldmilk
Easy. Then the two deeper holes go sideways
crypticorb
Lay sideways next to it, and insert into the correct hole. Or just jam it in however.
FellaWithUmbrella
Hey! That’s the name of my sex tape!
TK421isAFK
The definition of annoying is having a Toshiba laptop that has USB ports a couple inches from each other, but oriented opposite directions.
demizu
Nooo. My fav Powerbank has a double port where one is up and the other down. When a plug won't go in I just use the other port. Tis faster
TK421isAFK
True, but one of my laptop's ports is always used by a Logitech Unity receiver, so I'm really down to one on that side.
fencer1964
Is one of them a power-bus?
TK421isAFK
No, it's about 12 years old.
shyriath
...that's just sadistic.
MiroRibeira
Yeah, who would put themselves through the torment of owning a Toshiba laptop
TK421isAFK
It was a gift. It's a decent machine, just has a few quirks.
stja
#7 You're clearly not the target audience for nutrition labels if you eat the whole thing.
janforhire
That’s also a thing that is now required by nutrition labels in the US. One section is “serving size”, the other is the whole thing
dudechaos
Huh ..This 50 lb bag of rice has 69,000,000% of my daily carbs. Nice
confanity
Just goes to show how outdated these boomer jokes are.
CallsYouATosser
Responsibly is a pretty decent brand of vodka. Made by a distillery in Dalton, GA. A little way down the road, but the do some pretty 1/
CallsYouATosser
good moonshine variants. High proof, of course. Apple Pie is a type invented on the mountain there almost 200 years back. They do a lot 2/
CallsYouATosser
*it's a sin when something labeled Moonshine isn't even 60 proof. And it hurts more, what with the extra sugar for flavoring.
CallsYouATosser
of flavors of moonshine. Caramel is arguably the best. But from the distillery and it's $15 for a fifth of the vodka, $20 for a fifth of 3/
CallsYouATosser
90 proof flavored moonshine, and $25 for a gluten-free variety made from sunflower seeds. Taste testing is allowed before buying. 4/4
CallsYouATosser
Oh, and they do a higher alcohol unflavored moonshine. Don't recall the strength, but that's proof it's good stuff; I'm sure it was a 5/
CallsYouATosser
120 proof version at minimum. Possibly as much as 160. Guess I'll have to buy a bottle for science!
CallsYouATosser
*Buy directly from the distillery and...