pile71uk24
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Mar 5, 2017 10:31 AM
pile71uk24
260118
5227
212
JohannesFit
If only they were hard boiled. Those take 10 minutes for me...
Py0tr77
Got up, broke the egg timer ... now I'm in that swedish puzzle place hoping for the apocalypse.
UselessAnon
RodentOfAverageSize
Is this the words of Christ in red version?
VivicaBurns
Only read the red text. Got the joke. Excellent job with the highlights
SteveSteveSteve55
And your dick reminds me of the texture of a soft boiled egg.
Wolfmar
All jokes aside, if you know what you're doing, you can make 3 minutes feel like 15 minutes of pure ecstasy.
HOOMANGUY
Imgur user: If I read enough about sex, then someday I might actually have some.
Tubzilla
"goddamit these eggs are still waaay undercooked"
CallsEmAsISeesEm
Looks like we will have to go again!
Tubzilla
Third time lucky!
bluarctic
meme200
Well damn lmfao
usernamesscaremesomuch
GuitarGraveyard
dave is just such a good comedian.
xxbike87xx
*forwarding*
GenericUsernameIsAlreadyTaken
Now, before I got the joke, I had incorrectly assumed she had placed the eggs in her vag and needed him to fertilize them. I am not smart.
eelhead
pfffft it takes more than a minute to cook eggs
luzaire
DetectiveSherlockHolmes
Too brutal
redzombie
hey, get it when you can get it. if its a replacement egg timer, whatever. no problem
Bob64
busdriverdan
It's all fun and games until your titty hits the stove.
YahikoPain
"My powers have doubled since the last time we met, count"
3vil3ric
It's business... It's business time.. You know what I'm tryin to say? I'm trying to say that it's business time.... cuz it's business time.
Tipsyrooster
I think it's starting to sink in, just how long three minutes really is...
LeadingExampleofaDisappointment
Aha, but little did she know... he was the one who broke it. 7 and a half minutes of pure victory.
clnoy
He needed 3 minutes to break the egg timer?
LeadingExampleofaDisappointment
Soft boiled eggs take 7 minutes and 30 seconds to cook in a rolling boil.
clnoy
Omg no. That would be a very hard boiled egg. Not soft.
reckuning
Doesn't matter, had sex.
mike32962
How do you like your eggs? She said unfertilized
AddictiveTendancies
Eggstra special morning
thisusernameintentionallyleftblank
FW: FW: FW: RE: FWD: Fw: Re: FW: LOL SO FUNNY!!!!
GeorgeKvsh
Comment more recycled than the post itself
ThatJerkYouKnow
Yeah I get the sentiment, and I agree with you, but I just realized that I am so fucken done with this comment. It's tired, I'm tired.
Fishworshipper
The fuck is this comment even supposed to mean?
n1ckmz
Before popular image sites exsisted people used to send images via email and forward them to others hence the FW:RE:FE:RE
joshuaaaronhill
THis has been shared a thousand times.
justhereforthefun
That's still 3 minutes of fun to start the day!
thordalmighty
Six minutes, actually
CallsEmAsISeesEm
I'd start breaking all the egg timers if this is how I am used!
TinyLiehon
And most mammals only manage 2 minutes of penetration so there
IrrationalFearsPodcast
Any more than three minutes of ecstasy and the house would burn. That's why he doesn't last longer...
imakedndreferencesatinappropriatetimes
And besides the dude's chick apparently still likes him
idontenglishsorry
yeah if she is still with you after lasting only 3 minutes she really loves you
Apostle
Pfft, we're not all marathon runners, ya know?
pippen1001
It's 15 minutes from cold water
wenoc
That depends on so many factors. How much power your stove has. The size and weight of the kettle, the amount and temp of the water
wenoc
Which is why you measure from boiling point. Then your only variable is air pressure which matters only a little.
justhereforthefun
What kind of middle aged cooker do you have?
pippen1001
a pot on the oven ...
MotherfuckingJesseEisenburg
Hey, I'm a dumbass who doesn't understand. Can someone please explain?
CrazyCatLad
eggsplain*
MotherfuckingJesseEisenburg
Boo!
LeadingExampleofaDisappointment
The egg timer is broken. For soft boiled eggs, it's set to a few minutes, so she uses the man's premature ejaculation as a makeshift timer.
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MotherfuckingJesseEisenburg
Are you sure it's premature ejaculation? What if he can nut in 3 minutes every time?