CircleCat
156422
2837
76
Apr 6, 2018 9:01 AM
CircleCat
156422
2837
76
DaveByTheBell
My cat's name is Minerva and I've said #9 verbatim before.
Voltair
#3 Jocks, Nerds, Pricks, and Normals.
GunnersMateFirstClassPhillipAsshole
No no, fuck you OP. Credit The damn Twitter user(s) who wrote all this
j00licious
SodaKid7
TastyBrainMeats
Four types of kids: crazy, nerdy, nasty, and the ones who actually got their shit together and know how to cook.
squishcat
Right! Loyal, honest, kind, hardworking!
Ryanator50
Demuto
I couldn't help reading every Albus part in the "Potter Puppet Pals" Dumbledore voice
Phishouttawatta
A time turner can only go back so five-hours. Looks like a bunch of jokes made by someone who’s only watched the movies
Ryanator50
yeah, plus it's a stable time loop. Harry and Hermoine never changed the past. they just thought buckbeak died because of the pumpkin.
TeenySquid
BuddyTheAlion
10 points to Dumbledore.
ProfProffesserson
Richard Harris. He is the only true Dumbledore
SavagePatchKids
The second Dumbledore was fine, but I always imagine this guy when I think of Dumbledore.
AeroEngineer
Harris played the role with gravitas and wisdom. Gambon played it like a anxious dementia patient. I like Gambon, but he ruined Dumbledore.
CQemt
SaticoySteel
>.> Dumbledore was against Dementors!!!!!!!
FrozenInCarbonite
Nephus
I love the idea of Dumbledore being this batshit crazy fuck who never thinks more than two steps ahead and just wings it.
VeganFeministFlatEarther
Wasn't this exact same dump on the FP yesterday?
GeneralWho
Yep, OP re-arranged and reposted like a scumbag.
HibiscuitsTea
Us Hufflepuffs are always miscellaneous.
Ryanator50
we're horny stoners
HibiscuitsTea
Damn, I really am a Hufflepuff! I WANT AN 8-FILM MOVIE SERIES
Phishouttawatta
#1 was not mad eye, it was Barty Crouch, Jr. disguised as him.
cntdn
This is not better.
Phishouttawatta
Having moody kidnapped and in a trunk under the imperius curse of a madman is not great, but at least he wasn’t hired on the above pretense
Atiouss
Atiouss
existed. Right? Didn't he even take him to one of them?
jakssupernova
yes
jakssupernova
yes
PentagonalPython
Yes. Fuck yes. HELL. FUCKING. YES.
coolkidwestern
Slytherin never got redeemed and for that I can’t forgive Rowling, a series about friendships and not one Slytherin was accepted by the trio
haggerton
In case you forgot, Harry names his kid Albus Severus.
AgainstMethod
In the final act. As he died.
NobleSavant
If it helps you at all, The Cursed Child is all about that.
Muffdiver9
It doesn't.
ArnoGerber
Cursed Child is a mockery of established canon. And regardless of what JK says, 90% of fans still refuses to call it canon
[deleted]
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InfinitusEquitas
No, and thank you for sharing... that would have been so much better.
FutureFriedman
Oh God no I remember this. Tumblr fapping is terrible.
visorian
What does expelliamos even do? Blunt force trauma?
bab51
Disarms the intended person’s wand!
Ryanator50
it expels someone's armaments.
JeremyBeadlesStrongerHand
Weren’t there four Founders? The ones the houses were named after and each house represents the attributes of the founders?
APenguinInATuxedo
Yes, and those attributes were brave, smart, evil, and miscellaneous
TastyBrainMeats
"Wanna see me eat this bug?", "akshually", "Hitler did nothing wrong", and "Want a cookie? I just baked six dozen cookies. I was bored."
Ryanator50
more like brave, smart, liars, and promiscuous hobbits.
PotatOSLament
English, Scottish, Irish, Wales.
ilex
^Welsh is the adjective you're looking for, I suspect.
MrSpankalot
I always thought they were brave, smart, evil and 'high all the time'. Why do you think the leader of house huffle'puff' has a greenhouse?
HibiscuitsTea
Oh then I am definitely a Hufflepuff.
InfinitusEquitas
Too lazy for ravenclaw, not a gryffindor jock, huh... so my choices are evil or high. Well, I do love to eat!
Lill9
And the common room is by the kitchens
LetumComplexo
Headcannon accepted.
Ryanator50
and they have group masturbation sessions. that's canon.
CharlottaFish
Yeah but everyone thinks that Helga Hufflepuff made a boring ass House. They're badgers, they're kind but fierce.
Ryanator50
Hufflepuffs have group masturbation sessions. boys and girls. that's canon.
mygogglestheydonothing
Ryanator50
they're notoriously friendly, and that extends to friends with benefits.
crowkiller06
Only someone from Hufflepuff would say this.
PotatOSLament
And they like to eat. ‘S why their dorm is by the kitchens.
CharlottaFish
Nah I've only ever been sorted into Slytherin and gryffindor.
CharlottaFish
I just really like Harry potter lol
chromed
Only someone who's never handled badgers would say this....
DadJokesaretheBest
Other than humans, aren't badgers the top predators in all of UK? THats pretty fucking wicked (by UK standards)
cntdn
Apex predators are foxes, otters, owls, and eagles. European badgers aren't honey badgers, they don't eat things bigger than hedgehogs.
CharlottaFish
Right? A momma badger would kill anyone going after her babies, the same could be said for hufflepuffs
Dusk17
European badgers are highly deceptive.
cntdn
At the time Hogwarts was founded there would have been brown bears and wolves, much more impressive predators than badgers.
mthornton91
Mushroom mushroom!
Larkos
Sounds nice until you realize the impetus for creating the house was the others getting first picks and Helga getting the rest.
CharlottaFish
That's not really true though iirc. The sly, the brave, the studious, and the kind.
Larkos
Slytherin Took only pure-blood wizards Of great cunning just like him. And only those of sharpest mind Were taught by Ravenclaw
Larkos
While the bravest and the boldest Went to daring Gryffindor. Good Hufflepuff, she took the rest and taught them all she knew,
Larkos
She took the rest. The leftovers from the first three houses.
asdfertjryjre
The time turners don't actually change anything.
Ryanator50
correctomundo, but they can be great for spying on people in the past if you've got a cloak too.
Muffdiver9
Time travel is ultimately futile, any time travel has already been accounted for in the reality you came from.
MrRavellon
Yes, but what if what you know has happened is wrong, staged by your future self that traveled to the past to prevent that event from /
MrRavellon
/occurring for real?
Muffdiver9
Doesn't matter, if you alter the conditions that allowed/required you to time travel in the first place then you eliminate the future where/
Muffdiver9
you felt the need to time travel, thus you never traveled back to fix the problem. It's a paradox. You can't change the past.
MrRavellon
That's why you stage the event to make your past self believe it really happened. It didn't happen but you believe it did so you have that/
Muffdiver9
The other option is the multiverse theory where you create two distinct timelines, but that theory seems stupid to me.
MrRavellon
Yeah, my version of multiverse theory is not creation but travel between already existing universes. So actual change in the future caused /
MrRavellon
/by your time travel shenanigans would indicate that you are in the wrong universe and your home world is just as fucked as ever.
robfitzpat
Having never read the books, most of my understanding of the HP universe comes from memes like these. Very helpful 10/10.
Oglogoth
You should check them out, was the first series I legitimately could not put down, and waned so hard for the next ones to come out.
ThePunchline
Every single one of these memes were inaccurate tbh
djsdkdjsk
The books aren't the same as the memes.
sharkhugs
Most of them are inaccurate
chromed
I love how many people in this thread are recommending you read the single most popular series of books on the planet.
moonpi314159
The books are toootally different from the movies and expand the universe in a satisfying way
tomyironmane
They're decent books. Get them from the public library. That way if you don't like them you aren't out any money.
KillerTofu615
Let me put it this way, the movies were dumb in that Harry used a variety of different spells in the books. His go to was not expelliarmus
ArtemisFolly
I feel like the stunning charm was more his go-to in the books. It'd be interesting to do a search for how many times each spell is used.
ImGettingMines
No it was expelliarmus lupin says so to him after the battle over Private Drive
merculian
Actually, his go to in the books was exactly expelliarmus. It's how the Death Eaters identified him during Harry's escape from Privet Dr.
elduderino19
I thought his expecto patronus was his shiz
HalloIamherenow
It only works on dementors. For anyone else he might as well be throwing his wand at them for all the good it'll do.
KillerTofu615
That's true, but it wasn't his ONLY spell.
merculian
I only tried to correct your last sentence. I agree that it wasn't his only spell.
GraeYstaG237
I am not a book guy but i am hooked to these books. def reccomend to read them. there some hillarious scenes in the books missing from movie
Nephus
Like that time Mcgonagall slipped down a hallway and grabbed Hermione by the throat to stop short. Good times.
slacker92
Lots of great characters left out too
GraeYstaG237
Peeves!!! Never understood what people meant when i heard it first(not having read the books) Now my eyes are open to how important he is!!
slacker92
Right? And how all the ghosts play such bigger roles in the books
whatspaulplayingtoday
Would recommend the audiobooks narrated by Stephen Fry. 10/10.
ADisturbinglyAttractiveCactus
Wholeheartedly disagree, the British version of the audiobooks narrated by Jim Dale are where it's at.
whatspaulplayingtoday
Jim Dale's version is the American version. Fry's is the British. Just a point of clarity.
DarkUranium
I'm waiting for a series narrated by Samuel L. Jackson.
whatspaulplayingtoday
I wish my life were narrated by SLJ. The amount of motherfuckers in my brain not being said, it's almost necessary.
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FutureFriedman
Time to replace your girlfriend with one that reads.
iReptarr
Audible my dude
FreshWater13
I don't think I could be with someone who doesn't like to read. I feel like that makes them instantly unattractive to me
Notme68
I dunno. My wife doesn't like to read, but the blowjobs are incredible. So....
M4X1N10S
Well that took a turn
OpticRocky
Priorities fam, we all have them
textilelover
There are those of us who do both. Just sayin'.
PrepareFoulBeast
JeremyBeadlesStrongerHand
Still can’t do wizard taxes though.
IronGravyBoat
They only use the ones we see. They're plenty of classes that aren't narrated.
ACowAsWhiteAsMilkACapeAsRedAsBloodASlipperAsPureAsGold
History of Magic was literally never used.
Nephus
Uhh, how about the time they asked the teacher about the Chamber of Secrets. Seemed kinda useful then.
purplestew
Except for the time where they managed to find 2 horcruxes cause of important historical events
CommanderStrax
Wasn't it used to figure out some of the historicial horcruxes? Helga's cup, Ravenclaws diadem?
Selweyn
I'm pretty sure they didn't use the spell to make a pineapple tapdance... then again, maybe they did - fun party trick.
TheBluthStairCar
As a kid, I was jealous they learned the very spell needed to take out a troll with his own club, and I learned least common denominators
RyanAndTheQuestForWorldDomination
But that’s something most people actually do use every day?
TheBluthStairCar
Haven’t used it since 4th grade
RyanAndTheQuestForWorldDomination
Do you’ve never added any fraction in your life since 4th grade?
TheBluthStairCar
Not one that required a least common denominator. Besides, I do everything in decimals if I’m working with a partial number