ConfederacyOfDunces
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Part 1: http://imgur.com/gallery/gZzg5
Part 3: http://imgur.com/gallery/8B17r
Part 4: http://imgur.com/gallery/eeWXP
Part 5: http://imgur.com/gallery/tlXTA
Part 6: http://imgur.com/gallery/sRkVU
Part 7: http://imgur.com/gallery/1WK8R
Part 8: http://imgur.com/gallery/H5EX6
Part 9: http://imgur.com/gallery/7LMIV
KillerCaitie
As someone that says "Dear sweet Jesus" quite often, I am now sad that my friends have never jumped in with Sour, BBQ, etc.
specialpasta
I was going to release white anglo-saxon protestants, but the graph says they're not cool.
impoverishedWASP
We do what we can.
TheBatmanFan
Wasps is _lesser_ in magnitude than prisoners in the graph. Dumb fucks.
justino37
coffeebutts
Can we just talk about the username "shavingryansprivates" for a sec
villhelm
or how about '' i touch kids''? strange people about. i find the usernames almost as amusing as the content
coffeebutts
I agree! you can't ignore the creativity
AngelOfDownVotes
I stumbled upon a wasp nest once in a state park. I was stung 15 times in 10 seconds. One followed me into my car and stung me one last time
Harmonex
NiftyNips
"And stay out!" - that wasp, probably
bobwehadababyeetsaboy
harry potter post said "intra-house" when they meant "inter-house". They said the opposite of what they meant....
139mod70
I came here to say this. Thank you.
villhelm
BUUURRRNNN HERRR. wait, that's a different movie
bobwehadababyeetsaboy
I'll still burn her (burn tumblher)
Dordron
I wonder if people on tumblr screen shot what we say on imgur
TheWayADrillWorks
Wonder if we might one day see tumblr comments on Reddit comments on Imgur comments on 4chan comments and I'll stop now...
22Below
I've never once seen it on all my time there
skogstad
He ran outside when he heard the alarm? If I hear the fire alarm, I assume someone's burning toast.
madoldbat
they take Harry Potter seriously but they use American terminology?Tsh tsh
shineycupcakes
Am I the only one that is no longer fazed by fire alarms because of the unholy amount of times they've gone off because of something burnt?
shineycupcakes
I realized belatedly that my comment doesn't make sense. Oh well.
kalenmiyan
It makes sense if you replace "fire alarm" with "smoke detector". I've never known anyone who had a fire alarm in their house.
DPHENS
CaptainCapitalAndHisPunctuationPals
You should. Totally worth it.
SecretCatPolicy
They don't take their Harry Potter seriously enough...no-one in a British school uses the words 'underclassmen' or 'upperclassmen'.
ExtremelyOP
I let out a heavy sigh at "Metatron"
TheFlyingHellfish
Why?
Millillion
Reason being?
R0da
http://imgur.com/MeRAA89
NiftyNips
I was confused.
inwhatsname
For anyone else wondering the Metatron is an Archangel who acts as the voice of God. Angels also have no genitalia. Also watch Dogma.
Harmonex
That's why it's the physical incarnation. Kind of like how God doesn't have a body but then Jesus.
DalleJaaa
#8 movie. now. pls. someone.
theclevernamegoeshere
You think this is a fucking game?
KillerCaitie
Ok, I laughed so hard at the Hobbit one that my mom just knocked on the door. She thought I was crying. Well done, Benidrill Cucumberpatch.
Alexanderthemediocre
benedick cumonherback
FirstClassTicketToHell
*Bendydick Cummerbund
GlassPhysics
*Blended Cucumber
NoItsACardiganButThanksForNoticing
Ever wonder why these funny people are on Tumblr? We could use them around here
rewindthetape
You're on to something. It almost makes me want to visit Tumblr.
redrovered
Because tumblr is fun and more customizable to your personal interests. I'm on both, but I like them for different reasons.
ISeePeopleWithUsernamesLikeThisAllTheTimeSoHeresMine
So which one do you use for porn?
kraziekandy
There is a shocking amount of porn on tumblr. Yahoo doesn't give a fuck about censoring it as long as you ain't fuckin puppies or somthing.
YourFriendBrian
Asking the important questions.
redrovered
Tumblr. For all the Harry Potter erotica.
GodDammitMarieTheyAreMinerals
Buttercup Cabbagewank is awesome
Jiryn
#9 So.. she wants me to end my day in a pool of her blood?
afbujinkan
Just respond with "I came into this world naked, screaming, and covered in someone else's blood. I don't mind leaving the same way."
booshboosh
'Be free my niggas' - definitely my new motto
CaptainCapitalAndHisPunctuationPals
They can take our music, they can take our words, but they'll never take our freedom!
FreshPrinceOfPersia
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yYS0ZZdsnA
BippityboppityHippityhoppity
"Be free my niggas" ~Abraham Lincoln
ThatMomentWhenImgurJokesAreOnlyFunnyToImgurians
but you're a 27yr old white guy
ShakeDog
A new way to say goodbye.
FrankTheCube
I once set of the smoke detector trying to boil water to make spaghetti.
t00tie
To reduce false alarms caused by cooking fumes, use an optical or 'toast proof' alarm near the kitchen - wikipedia
yoxhosam
Happened in my dorm. Emptied the entire building! Haha
DavesDebbiesandSlagathor
I once actually set a fire trying to boil water
t00tie
That means you have the wrong type of smoke detector in your kitchen.
ConfederacyOfDunces
(1) I bet you're a dude. (2) so have I. :-D
MyPalmsSpaghettiKneesWeakArmsSpaghettiTheresVomitOnMySpaghetti
I'm a girl and I can't boil water. Or fry an egg. I'm pro at preparing a mean bowl of cold cereal though, so I've got that going for me
ConfederacyOfDunces
Girl, lern 2 boil water!
MyPalmsSpaghettiKneesWeakArmsSpaghettiTheresVomitOnMySpaghetti
3hard5me
FrankTheCube
I am a dude.
justsherlocked
But not THE dude.
ConfederacyOfDunces
If you ever make your gf cinnamon rolls and are low on sugar don't just substitute molasses it's not the same. Also she hates molasses.
IgnisErus
what kind of idiot would substitute molasses for sugar in a baked good, go home OP youre drunk
ConfederacyOfDunces
Not a total substitution, I had _some_ sugar, but made up for what I lacked with ...yeah it was awful.
justsherlocked
That was so oddly specific.
ConfederacyOfDunces
Apparently so is my wife. (Was just dating her at the time)
SemiProfessionalLurker
"What is it boy? Did you see something?" Greatness!
alliebees
Literally, went down to the comments to see if anyone else appreciated that as much as I did.
Berethian
That particular post is in pretty much every Tumblr collection, and appears here once a day.
TheRealDurdan
Then after realising there isn't anything, "down boy, doooowwwnn"
DonutHolstein
Well :( has horizontal symmetry, so :( upside down is :(
AinsleysOilySacrifice
I thought I was the only one that realised this
ThatMomentWhenImgurJokesAreOnlyFunnyToImgurians
lol weird how those things still show emotion, lke I read that comment in a sad way
TheyCallMeMrPigeonCuzImJustSoCoo
#25 YOU SHALL NOT ASS
XxXhailstan999XxX
"Doing the do with the you know who"
crazyhornedlizardlady
One of my friends was the one to post the frick frack with the dark lord voldy. She had no idea it was famous outside of tumblr.
Mikebroski
I was thinking doing "You know what" with "you know who"
richardfrost
That escalated quickly.
DuuhGusGus
He Who Must Not Be Named. Not He Who Must Not Be Banged.
squirrelgirl86
Oh my god I laughed so hard at this.
vegivamp
Um... 20 minutes' worth of biking, that's like, 10km. Not even Belgium is *that* small. Might get you through Liechenstein, though, tbf.
voxeltime
I could take a bike ride through 4 countries from where I live. Maybe not 20 mins, but 30-40 tops.
vegivamp
Yeah, but not *across*. There's relatively little area where what OP suggests would work.
nekobaka
I live in Aachen, Germany and both Belgium and the Netherlands are merely a short walk away. And I'd climb the largest dutch mountain, too.
nekobaka
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vaalserberg
faulerwulf
That highly depends where you start from no? Maybe they live 10 min from the border
vegivamp
True, but that would then also hold in the US at 10 minutes from the Canadian and Mexican borders.
DavesDebbiesandSlagathor
When I asked my grandma about the songs when she was a kid, she had jazz and shit. I'll have things like "I want to fuck you"
NiftyNips
We get right to the point in our microwave culture.
DPHENS
Like an animal.
dasmause
Why the fuck do people type posts in hashtags?
sciencemech
Its because tags use hashtags and pretty much whenever you see that in a post its because someone copied someones tags & putthem in the post
mizekel
Hashtags aren't carried over when a post is reblogged. You can use them for in-jokes with followers that won't persist on strangers blogs
mizekel
*I meant hashtags as actual tags, not in the main body.
mizekel
When somebody puts hashtags in the main post, they're usually copying what the person they reblogged from put there.
vieblitz
Because when you tag a post on tumblr, the site automatically puts an octothorpe (#) in front of each tag you enter. (1)
vieblitz
These tags are only visible on that post, not on a 'reblogged' version of the post. So if someone wants to preserve the tags (2)
vieblitz
They'll copy them and put them in the text of their version of the post. (3/3)
middlehead
Supposedly is an account privacy thing. Tagging lets non-followers see it even if the account is otherwise private.
IPoopInTheDark
Sir I believe it's called Number sign
villhelm
tic tak toe
lajih
Octothorpe, actually. True story, look it up. Google that shit.
ayylmoa
Wow, thank you so much, I would have never guessed to google it before you graced me with your intelligence!
Tuwonwon
Pound, octothorpe, whatever.
22Below
Somebody has written in the tags of their reblog of the post, someone else has taken those tags from the tag section into the main body 1/
22Below
as tags don't carry over when you reblog from someone. They thought what the previous person had said needed to be seen on their reblog 2/2
ConfederacyOfDunces
kind of a meta humor thing, in part making fun of hashtags, in part emphasizing that text, and in part #becauseeveryoneelsedoesit
YeahLinguisticsBitch
I'm guessing mostly the last one.
Benthhyy
I want more
[deleted]
[deleted]
Benthhyy
Yay ^^
MystalCraze
It's definitely Ice Cream Van.
thepigofhappiness
I always say Ice Cream Man
Mistruths
Vans haul people, trucks haul goods. That is the general distinction, I think.
MystalCraze
http://imgur.com/2oHio0D
RedEagl3
http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/182/765/4chanpartyvan.jpg
AlwaysTrustTheManInABigWhiteVan
Why is it ok for ice cream man to give ice cream to children from his van but not for me to give candy to children from my van?
TheSwedishEngineer
Yeah. I've never heard anyone say "ice cream truck".
DodgeDuckDipDiveDodge
I'm the opposite, I've never heard 'ice cream van'
kgbofficer
I've heard both, but I heard ice cream truck in my area because it was a truck in my area.
Bob423
Must be a regional thing.
MrNorway
In Norway you say, isbil.
micksy
I just call it Mr Whippy.
TheOBanger
Can I assume you're Australian?
thefeev
http://i114.photobucket.com/albums/n245/whblckrby/borat-bear.gif
Mobileuserwholikestoberandom
I need some source over here!
rufcats
By the by, the movie is hilarious; I do recommend watching it.
thefeev
from the move: Borat
rufcats
Borat? it's in the url broski
sum1else
But... it's actually a truck, not a van. So why would you call it a van? I guess that goes along the opposite lines of "moving van."
MystalCraze
the definitions of vans and trucks overlap, so technically there is no definitive answer, but it's still definitely a van.
hipsterhank
Wait, girls' jackets don't have inner pockets? It's time we get some equality around here. The inner pocket is the best thing about jackets.
SpringRiverBlack
Well, I have a pea coat with an inside pocket. Really all of my winter coats do. But that's it.
AbsolutelyWeird
almost all of my jackets do.. female/norwegian-dunno if country means anything or the overall quality I prefer.
slagath0r
Thank you! Oppression time's over
HeyFreckleFace
The day I discovered a jacket I bought had inner pockets, was like winning the lottery. I've never been so fucking excited about pockets.
honeybunnybear
All of my winter down jackets have inner pockets..
SKELETONMAAAN
The super girlish ones don't seem to have them. I wear "normal" stuff because the other shit is like 3 sizes too small for me.
DreamCatcher01
I wear a men's coat just for this reason.
nanabobana
trues. got a used service-issued coat at a local Coast Guard yard sale for $10, pockets everywhere!!! big, deep, inside, beige, love it!
yourstruly0
Yea but you look like a boat wearing it.
Harvestkitten
imma letcha finish but dresses with pockets are the best things ever.
elfinglamour
Amen
Jhollie
TMW you are deciding if you want to buy a dress, and you discover it has pockets when playing with the skirt! I live for that moment! :)
Dispari
As a girl, the general lack of pockets (or the worst sin of all, fake pockets) in clothing of all kinds is a serious problem.
ZOMGNO
I have a work one that does, and I get so upset when I try to put things in my inner pocket at home... and oh. No pocket.
globexcorporation
I have pockets inside 3/4 jackets I own.
tbirdistheword
Women's clothing consistently has a problem with a lack of pockets.
SmallTiddyGothGremlin
My gf's coat has the "mafia pocket" She hides all kinds of cool shit in there.
LeahMarine
Most don't. I've never had a jacket with an inner pocket and I've always wanted one. It seems like such a cool thing to have :(
TheSwedishCryptid
Sew your own inner pocket.. That's what I do.
Nize426
They are very cool. I always wanted to put a gun there even though I don't own one, and I know that that's not where they actually put guns
BubblyCricket
As a tall, large-chested woman, I'd honestly be happy with a coat that fit AND looked nice. Bonus points if it's actually warm!
thedaythecatdiscoveredmirrors
Most of my leather jackets have inside pockets, and they're all girl styles. Fitted ones don't though.
myrrlyn
I have a clone of Castiel's jacket, but there are no inside pockets and it makes me very upset.
jresent
That comment sounds like a line out of Seinfeld, something Jerry would say
OhJoYouDidnt
No woman needs imbalance in her 'inner pocket' area.
NancyDrewsBiggestFan
Same with uniform shirts! Guys get a breast pocket and we don't. Apparently just so we don't look like we're groping ourselves...wtf
LadyTotesMcGoats
I would just be happy with pockets that actualy fit my hands
TrustmeIamdutch
I hate bags.. they are get in the waythings. Got a wallet in my backpocket, and summer means no place for my smokes.. real issue here!
IAmAtWorkRightNow
All my jackets have inside pockets, even the girly ones. Ya'll need to check your jackets before you buy them.
Bakeeza
Where do you find them?? :( The only one of mine that has ample pocket space is my parka. I can fit my huge wallet inside and you can't tell
bunnyishungry
We have boobs inside our jackets. An inner pocket would look like a square boob on top of a round boob beside a smaller round boob.
Assilem22
This top comment has 1222 points and that's my favorite number and I'm so happy :D
StackedInaTuxedo
ya, because who needs warmth
NothingButReposts
Yeah but girls by default have a few natural pockets.
calyxium
I'm a girl and my leather jacket has both an inside pocket and a gun pocket. But it's possibly a guy's jacket.
yestotoast
mine does. I got confused at that part and thought "I don't have a man jacket.. Do I" THEY GOT ME TO QUESTION ABOUT MY CLOTHES
kriositivity
as a woman every jacket I've ever owned has had inside pockets. They even had a little hole for headphones wire
kriositivity
At least my post 90's jackets had the headphone feature...
Usuallygotcommonsense
As a 6'6 guy I've... Never used a jacket with inner pockets. Normal jackets work just fine. 0:
Snarkoleptic
All normal jackets have inner pockets. If they didn't they weren't "standard" at all.
wuqqs
I don't even buy jackets without inner pockets.
LordLucifer
so thats why its important to have a purse! dont worry guys i figured it out.
ashes12
That's why I own a men's coat.
BrokenEverything
I have a denim jacket that has them....you can fit a whole can of cider in each.
hardboiledfrog
Yeah, I have two denim jackets like this but my god were they hard to find.
TittiesNkitties8D
Never thought of a can of cider as a unit of measure when calculating the volume of a jacket pocket.
Snarkoleptic
Now you have
BrokenEverything
the most important unit of measure!
Spinosaur
This is a good idea but I think we should start with functional pockets in pants.
slayball
Girls pockets never work. They're all fake because it'll make them look lumpy if they use them
Wyrmknave
I feel very strongly about practical clothing options for women.
nanabobana
practical women's clothing, those words do not compute...
Lpbekka
Most of our clothes have FAKE POCKETS THAT ARE THE DEVILS WORK CAUSE DAMMIT I WANNA PUT SOMETHING IN THERE BUT NOOOOO
Lulabel73
You know sometimes there is a pocket, you just need to unpick a thread. Usually just jacket pockets not jeans.
SaltQueen
I'm convinced it's a conspiracy to get us to buy purses.
Lpbekka
Its all coming together!
globexcorporation
Seriously? I have never come across a pair of pants with fake pockets and I've been a woman for quite some time.
WeAreTheKnightsWhoSay
And now you have to free us all from this fate of fake pockets! Save us Chosen One, you're our only hope!
Lpbekka
Then you are the chosen one, the one destined to never feel the pain!
crazyhornedlizardlady
Depends on the jacket. I just got one that does. But its a working jacket and not a fancy cute one.
egovstheid
You just have to look around. . I have a peacoat from delias with an inner pocket.
WackTheHorld
As a retailer, every women's jacket I sell has an inner pocket. Tumblr OP just has to stop buying crappy jackets.
Rpi15
I would take an inner pocket over being cute any day
bob3242
but your always cute in any jack you wear
Silencor
Then don't go to stores designed for cuteness, buy a men's jacket. Women's clothing's supposed to be form-fitting, thus no bulging pockets.
ariafiresong
The combination of form and functionality should be the pinnacle. We must strive to never settle for less.
Ulva
Ladies, BUY JACKETS IN THE MEN'S DEPARTMENT! THEIR JACKETS EVEN REACH BENEATH YOUR WAIST! NO MORE FREEZING ON THE LOVE HANDLES! AND POCKETS!
krunchi
I guess it's assumed girls have a handbag, and guys have a wallet but not bag. So they need the pocket and girls don't. In theory at least.
Dunes8
Also explains women's jeans.
BeatsBearsBattlestarGallactica
I thought it was because fashion for girls is often tighter, and designers don't want the silhouette 'ruined' by lumps of things in pockets.
maybeidowantants
I'm a girl and I hate carrying bags or wallets I just carry a cardholder and I wish to have secret pockets!
heartinlandslide
But we only buy handbags because we don't have pockets!
CONFESSlONBEAR
But we only use pockets because we don't have handbags!
heartinlandslide
VICIOUS CYCLE. VERY ANGER, MUCH RAGE.
wobbu
handbags are way more convenient for carrying around tons of shit, such as makeup and tampons. that's why you buy handbags.
whowillcutourhairwhenwearegone
if they're heavy enough though they hurt my back :(
heartinlandslide
I don't carry makeup or tampons. I just want pockets big enough for my phone, keys, and wallet. Dammit.
piglet777
not everyone carries their makeup around and we actually get few days off period. I WANT POCKETS!
krunchi
Well then you don't need pockets since you have a handbag. :p
julgran
Gaaaaaaaahhhh!!!
krunchi
Problem? *smirk*