sureasyourebornyourenevergoingtoseenounicorn
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Dec 5, 2024 4:03 PM
sureasyourebornyourenevergoingtoseenounicorn
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1TrueKingInTheNorth
Even if they catch the guy, good luck finding an unbiased jury.
Boygirlcatparty
The country’s reaction to this has warmed my heart. I get that celebrating violence feels kind of wrong….but violence against us is happening every day that we are not allowed access to medical care. I’m really glad to see people with their eyes open about it.
stoutde
#3 remember, if you see someone
stealing necessities like bread or toothpasteassassinating CEOs that promote denial of claims, no you didn't.SLCtechie
This is gonna prompt elected officials to push for more universal health care right? ::padmes_face::
androgenoide
Those three words are a succinct manifesto. I think anyone who has dealt with a health insurance company could flesh out a story without knowing all the details.
WhoHim
I do not condone murder. But I understand why this happened and am not shocked. I'm kind of surprised it didn't happen sooner. When your business plan literally involves letting people die to fill your pockets, you can't be surprised when something like this happens
Elroydb
Murder is obviously bad but it is hard to have sympathy for a guy who chose to be Head Death Panelist for the Pay Us And You Might Not Die corproation
jonlememe
He dead now, so they can’t profit off him any more, so let’s move on.
SirenBrick
They pulled his bonus and put it into board stock buybacks HOURS after he died as an emergency midnight board action. They get their money off him.
Maulbert
#2 They're not mutually exclusive.
Sechran
#2
TI99Kitty
RetrogradeLlama
Hey, I know this guy!
Here's every fucking American who has to deal with health-care insurance companies.
ScudWave
He's even dressed like one of Etzio bloodline.
CSully990
RecurringNightmare
the cops just have to check every customer UHC doomed to die by denying their claims, and their close relatives and friends, surely the killer is among those, and that list cant be that long, right, riiiiiiight?
Thornaxe
Don’t forget UHC did some layoffs recently. There’s a bunch more names.
BurningVeryImportantThings
Most of us are in this picture and I find it comforting and unifying.
RealScienceMan
Yea, I got cancer earlier this year and UHC tried to deny all my claims, fortunately I also have legal insurance, and boy does that shit work, because after a day of my lawyer making threats, magically everything was in fact covered.
RealScienceMan
As far as I'm concerned a mass murderer got gunned down
initforthespecs
They said it was for the Mexican, and not for the white man
But if you look at the streets, it wasn't about Rodney King
And this fucked up situation and these fucked up police
It's about comin' up and stayin' on top
And screamin' 1-8-7 on a motherfuckin' cop
It's not in the paper, it's on the wall" it on the wall
hadan8088
#3 they should post pictures with a suspect. I don't see anything in these pictures.
DrewK98
It was John Cena!
SilverHornet
...does John Cena have a really good alibi?
GWJYonder
Everyone has a really good alibi. "Hmm... right around 7 AM Eastern time? On the 4th? Yeah, they were with me."
"Who was with you?"
"Yeah, they were."
jethroismaxbaer5772
Has anyone checked on where this guy is?
brcpo9
He's been with me the whole time. We had crumpets.
fractalsphere
#3 off no gloves. I bet they're dusting that entire Starbucks for prints and checking purchases (if he was dumb enough to make one). I'm laughing at the cost in resources and man-hours already put into this shooting when there are already hundreds of unsolved murders on the books that have likely barely been investigated or paid attention to.
RPCharImages
National Media coverage gets a lot of things
SilverHornet
or super thin rubber gloves, transparent latex would make sense. given the intentional brass donation, and the obvious need for print control on that, he wouldn't start touching up things randomly, nor leaving DNA on disposable cups made out to H. Itman etc
MagnorCriol
"Can I get a coffee, my name is 'fuck you cops you won't catch me that easy'"
Munchman347
The only resemblance between the shooter and this rando guy is the hoodie and he's White... Nothing else matches, backpack color, jacket pockets, grey vs black jacket, facial features etc... The NYPD is just throwing some dude to the wolves to make it look like they're doing a good job despite never solving over 60% of crimes...
ImaginaryMamboNumber5
I would have thought it a requirement to NOT wear the outfit you murder someone in, and burn it at the first available opportunity.
Madalchemist2018
I'm kinda surprised they didn't sacrifice a black guy cause an officer found stage makeup near Broadway.
Munchman347
For decades it was 'policy' for the cops, when they couldn't solve a crime that was getting a lot of media attention, to round up the nearest Black man who was known to have a record and force a 'confession' out of him. The cop Brass, who knew what was going on, gave Press releases crowing about their 'success'... This time it's a white dude, so...
CPTBRUMBL3Z
If I actually saw this man, I didn't, just like I didn't see the over stressed mother of a sick child whose card just declined pocket that children's cough syrup.
GTimgur
Murder is bad! So, are we ready to talk about UHC's systematic social murder? :)
RoombaTheAssaultVacuum
This is some Boondock Saints level shit and I am all here for it.
icantbelieveistillhavetoprotestthiscrap
I'm not saying I'm glad he was killed and I hope it happens to way, way more CEOs. I'm typing it.
EternallyIgnorant
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQthFDpYCys
DonkeyGoat
#2 Can we just pause for a moment and appreciate this username?
HashMaster9k
Elroydb
HashMaster9k
BurningVeryImportantThings
I'm sitting here scratching my head wondering wtf a NOUN-icorn is like really thinking way past the obvious on this one...
DonkeyGoat
It should lead to an image that had "GrokMeAmadeus"
Navrodel
#4 - Murder is illegal. The morality of an act is independent of its legality, and this is one of the cases where there are some arguments with merit being made in this murder's moral favor.
Now, the CEO themselves might not be the ones responsible for the amorality of their company - let alone the industry as a whole - but they're certainly among the ones profiting the most off of the suffering of others.
marsilies
If healthcare CEOs started dropping like flies and it was clear because of their terrible business practices, you'd see those companies suddenly reform EXTREMELY quickly. The C-suite loves to use the indirect nature of their impact as a shield, but if society stops buying it, the reality of their impact on the overall operation of the business will be apparent fast.
thesmelge
So where do we submit suggestions for the next CEO to be hunted and offed?
I have some suggestions.
Madalchemist2018
Some people are way ahead of you
SilverHornet
That's not how you do it. We start a website that awards monetary prizes to anyone who can guess the date of death of a given person. The prize pool is based on public donations. The rest just ... sorts itself out.
TI99Kitty
So... a "dead" pool?
realbluesofa
All this warms my old anarchic heart
drunkmastered
FluffykinsTheDestroyer
donsterkay
MAGA -Make Assassins Great Again.
IAmNotNSAsodonotbeparanoid
Is blue cross nervous?
mward1984
A few more billionaires assassinated and you might just have decent Gun Control! Apparently taking shots at a President to be doesn't count? Something about it being a proud american tradition?
PyroAvok
NY already has the most stringent gun control measures in the country. Look how much that helped. That said, I would fucking *love* it if after this they passed the most draconian gun laws yet. Forty years of school shootings and massacres but one silly little oompa-loompa gets winged and another one whacked in the street and suddenly it's DEFCON 1 on firearms. Demonstrating how much value we really have and hopefully inciting a round of culling the nobles. This time with wood chippers.
prfesser
#3 Whatever you do, please DO NOT flood this number with numerous false, malicious, or humorous tips. This person must be caught and malicious tips may reduce their chances. The number to not-flood is 1-800-577-TIPS (1.800.577.8477)
Hadestown24
Honest question if i were to set up a call flood to the nypd tip line would i go to jail?
ObiWanKenobitch
I think they could probably get you for obstruction for providing knowingly false information. If they really wanted to push it. But if they’ve got a shit ton of people from all over the country in different jurisdictions doing this, I can’t see them making that kind of effort for an obstruction charge.
Hadestown24
Considering id be flooding them with hundreds of robo calls per minute im guessing id probably go to jail
Everyonesfavorite
New Yorkers, did you see anything? No, you didn't.
IhopeUgetwhatUvoted4
I am Spartarcus!....
astromoondoggie
I saw something and the pictures have confirmed it. Matt Gaetz is the shooter. Go get him, cops.
MasterBountakun
I was born in NY then moved, I saw the video and it's crazy how someone can just fall over like that out nowhere. Hope he had coverage
nicholcm
see what?
Starbolt81
"Hello!? I just killed a man, I'd like to confess!" "EYY, SHADDUP DOWN THERE WILL YA!"
DrewK98
We should all call that tip line and tell them exactly what we didn't see.
Everyonesfavorite
Nice!
neithermenoryou
Even if he gets caught he'll suddenly have 8.2 million alibis saying he was with them the entire day.
darkninja2992
Not to mention, good luck getting a jury assembled, trying to find people who aren't biased against a healthcare CEO
AlmostCertainlyNotPickles
It's New York. Not seeing nothing is practically a profession.
SecondSince
*Actively ignoring intensifies*
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[deleted]
CyberHexx
The Estate Tax Alone makes the death of any Millionaire or Billionaire more economically beneficial than anything the trump admin will do.
Snuffdigit
Yes officer I saw it! Who did it? No I missed that part I was laughing too hard.
MatrimBloodyCauthon
Officer, I saw him go that way (points at space)
DisgruntledFerret
Everyonesfavorite
Looked like it was Elon.
gman003
I didn't see anything, but for $20, I'll make something up.
dffksh
gman003
"Yeah, I might've seen him. Goblin looking fella, balding, looked to be about eighty years old, some kinda black goop on his face. Think I saw him toss the coat over by the lawn supply company, seemed like it had something in it, I dunno. Sounded like a local though, from the accent. Got another twenty?"
zetzmemp
“He was like 5’2” to like 6’8”, something like that”
SecondSince
Vaguely human-shaped, i think.
umbrellamaker
That's a lot of information, I'm not sure I noticed that much
WarlockSniper
Cab-driver?
[deleted]
[deleted]
DarkBusterBaron
He was wearing a hood you can't prove the existence or lack thereof of ears which may or may not have been human ears.
FoamingToad
"Top lip and two elbows" is an old favourite.
bippityboppitybuttsex
#8 So, I checked, this is the Google result for his CEO page: https://www.unitedhealthgroup.com/uhg/our-leaders/brian-thompson.html and it redirects to their 404 page.... they are cold AF.
drinkthederpentine
No that's not what's going on. In cases like this for security they remove other public information about likely targets, their whole leadership page is taken down. It's probably not all that effective but it also doesn't make any sense to leave a target list live on your website either
bippityboppitybuttsex
www.archive.org
drinkthederpentine
No shit. You're not clever with that. I'm explaining what THEY think and are doing. Not saying it's gonna work.
johnxbear
I'm curious if it's them trying some form of damage control. Because I can't but to think it's very possible someone fucked with his page and just removing it was the go to instead of fixing it.
bippityboppitybuttsex
I think they are in panic mode, which is delicious.... maybe they will experience 1/10th of the panic and fear and despair that they inflicted on their customers
SilentShift
Oh, it gets better
dudbdjf
Yeah no, no one is taking a CEO job for that paltry salary.
Sumdumguy42
„Two weeks ago“.
Dakksys
To be fair, he doesn't work there anymore.
porphyre1e00
Doesn't he, though? Has HR been provided with a doctor's note explaining his absence?
BubblesTheFish
Yeah I get it mrs. thompson, but he still has responsibilities. Tell him to show up tomorrow or he is FIRED!
PyroAvok
He already got fired. At.
astromoondoggie
No, they’ve taken down the whole page for their leadership ‘cause they don’t know who will be next:
astromoondoggie
https://web.archive.org/web/20241202204046/https://www.unitedhealthgroup.com/uhg/our-leaders.html
SirenBrick
This is a self defence tactic, the board fears they will be next and have gone into cyber hiding. Normally the previous CEO would be listed alongside the incoming one.
bippityboppitybuttsex
Yep, they even took down their list of board of directors...
https://www.unitedhealthgroup.com/uhg/our-leaders/board-of-directors.html
But I found it anyway: https://www.unitedhealthgroup.com/content/dam/UHG/PDF/About/UNH-Board-of-Directors.pdf
Dagordae
Plus the Internet Wayback Machine almost certainly has it archived.
bippityboppitybuttsex
It does... my guess is they have not completed their scrub.
I am reminded of a background check company in FL, National Public data, that had a breach where every American had all of their private info released, and they had no corporate officers listed on their website... cuz they know they are completely evil and would face retribution for their malfeasance.
https://nationalpublicdata.com/
myotherusernameismyotherusername
The Internet archive coming in clutch again 🙏
CyrilConnolly
Like the assassin wouldn’t have made any copies beforehand. Although, why bother? The CEO is gone (for now). I think whoever hired this bloke has made their point.
BeardicPerformance
I don’t know why people keep assuming this guy was hired. This wasn’t like a CIA black ops hit job, just a guy with a mask, a silencer, and an escape route.
Could’ve just been a vet or a cop or any random guy who took advantage of the second amendment to buy a gun and spent some time thinking things through. My money is on a vet diagnosed with cancer who got his claims denied and is now terminal due to lack of treatment, or whose wife or kid died because their claim was denied.
CyrilConnolly
Well, I'm placing my bets on either an assassin or a highly motivated individual with a particular set of skills.